The God and Goddess
by Ryn Garner
Summary: Two Kiras from the beginning, two perspectives on what is right and wrong, two best friends that fall apart because of the Death Note. (Due note that I'm VERY slowly making revisions to this story, so I'm sorry for inconsistencies in writing styles and plot points from chapter to chapter. I am fixing things when I can.)
1. I

_**Revised on March 7th, 2020. Currently, this is the latest chapter that has revisions, so I'm sorry for the inconsistencies after this chapter and throughout the rest of the story. I am working when I can to fix this issue. Thank you for your patience and understanding as I try to modify an old fanfiction story.**_

* * *

 _[28 November 2003]_

Kay had stayed home that day under the guise that she was sick. It wasn't a complete lie as she had, in fact, thrown up. But, she had a deep feeling that it was nothing contagious. That's why she was pacing back and forth in the bathroom, each second lasting hours. She wanted to look at it. She wanted to throw it as far as she could.

Glancing at the clock again, she saw that only 40 seconds had passed. Sighing in frustration and running a hand over her face, she turns around and presses her back against the wall before sliding down to the floor. Pulling her knees up to her chest and holding herself tightly, she buried her face in her arms, wanting to make herself even smaller.

Sachiko was the only other person in the house, and Kay was pretty sure that she was doing the dishes.

'Good. She won't hear me when my life ends.'

How could she have been such an idiot? Yes, she was in love; she was also in high school. How would she be able to attend her night classes or any classes at all with this?

She clenched her jaw tighter, letting the headache keep her grounded. Her fingers dug into her palms to the point that she was sure she would draw blood if she didn't bite her nails so often. She would have to stop that if her life was ending.

Would she? Things wouldn't be so complicated if she chose to go down that route and she was definitely still within the timeframe. It'd be a lot less complicated if this weren't happening at all.

'Could this all disappear later? Could I be back to normal a year from now? Not even? How many months…'

Kay's chest tightened the longer she thought about it, as if her lungs were frozen over with no hope of heat touching them again. She couldn't stay still; she didn't want to move from her spot. Maybe, if she waited long enough, it'd show her the results she wanted.

Light would be home any minute; this needed to hurry up. Stretching her neck to peer around the door, she saw that enough time had passed. Her legs felt as if there were no bones in them as she stood up, using the wall as a support, for she already felt like passing out.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath to steel herself, Kay leans forward, forcing her eyes to focus rather than dart away. Suddenly, there was no place high enough to throw herself off of nor a small, dark enough space to hide her away from her life that has officially ended.

A slew of profanity crosses her mind before it goes blank, and no words escape her mouth as her throat is too dry.

Throwing the damn thing away, Kay's eyes glaze over as she wanders out into her bedroom. Listless, she walks over to the ladder and climbs up to her bed, collapsing as gently as she could manage while numb. Pulling her covers over herself, Kay tries to drown herself in her pillow, wanting nothing more than to fall into an endless sleep.

She almost did when the bedroom door opened and Light walked in.

'He seems distressed about something too,' Kay notes as she watched his movements before he noticed her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Still unable to catch enough of a breath to speak, she just taps on the border of the bed, knowing that he understands what she's doing when he closes his eyes to pay attention.

"Bad. What about you?" she asked in Morse Code.

"I just have a lot on my mind."

He paused for a moment, as if silently debating something, before he speaks again.

"Can you come down for a moment? I need to show you something."

Having to move out of the safe haven of her bed sends her mind back into motion, and she begins panicking. Hesitantly, she crawls to the edge of her comforter and descends the rungs until her feet touch the floor, sending a jolt up her spine upon the small collision. Turning around, she sees that Light is holding a black notebook out to her with a distressed expression on his face. Taking it, she opens the book and leans back against the ladder, agitated that she has to think even more in order to translate the English text. Within the pages, she reads rule after rule for this supposed notebook of death. She didn't believe it for a second and quickly handed it back to Light.

"It's just some sick prank; like those chain mail letters about cancer or something," Kay says, holding her finger in the air as if pointing at the comparison.

"But what if it isn't?"

"Where did you find this?"

"In the schoolyard."

"Yeah, it's definitely a prank," Kay concluded, "Anyways, I really need to talk to you about something as well-"

She stops talking as she notices that Light isn't listening and instead is leafing through the pages.

"It's really well thought-out if it is a prank," he mumbled.

Kay bites her lower lip and looks up at the ceiling so that she could try to calm herself down.

"Light, it's really important."

"What if it's real?"

"It's not real; it's impossible. There isn't even a way to draw a correlation between writing a name down and that person dying. It just doesn't make sense," Kay says, frustrated that Light can't seem to understand what's so obvious to her.

"But-"

"Just throw the damn thing away. Why are you so fascinated by it anyways?"

"I don't know. Looking at it and holding it just makes me feel weird," Light mumbled.

In truth, he wanted to test it. He wanted to test it so bad just so that he could expel the possibility from his mind. Annoyed, Kay huffs before snatching the notebook. Stalking over to the desk, she all but slams it down before turning on the TV to the news station. It would do no good to prove Light wrong by writing down the name of someone he couldn't watch live. As would have it, a hostage situation was being covered, and the man holding a daycare at gunpoint has his name and photo in the corner of the screen. Kay memorizes his face before looking down and writing his name.

Straightening up, she doesn't even look at Light as she crosses her arms over her chest, gazing at the screen as a reporter frantically fills them in on information that she'd probably be more invested in if she weren't pissed.

'10 seconds...20...30…'

"See? Nothing. It's just a prank, like I said. Can you pay attention now?"

However, Light can't reply as something changes on the TV. Children and staff rush out of the building, unharmed, and armed forces storm the place. The reporter pauses before gripping the microphone tighter.

"This just in! The man that was holding the daycare hostage is now dead! I repeat, dead! Police swear that they did not shoot him, and hostages are claiming that he suddenly collapsed!"

"Collapsed?" Kay exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands.

Light stood, wide-eyed, beside her, looking just as shocked. Her stomach churned, and her feet pivoted to launch her towards the toilet to puke once again. But, the rational part of her brain kicks in, and her racing heart slowly calms down.

"It has to be a coincidence. He was probably a drug-addict; that combined with holding people hostage while armed forces yelling outside would give anyone a heart attack. It means nothing."

"We have to test it again; to make sure."

Kay wanted to scream at him to drop it and just forget about the stupid notebook, but she stops herself when she sees the look in his eyes. She couldn't figure out what he was thinking or feeling, and that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Swallowing hard, she has to look away, and she returns her attention to the opened Death Note. Not being able to close it fast enough, she notices that her hands were shaking slightly.

'It's not real. It's not real. You didn't just murder somebody. No, that makes no logical sense. You just wrote their name down and they happened to die.'

Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes and forces herself to calm down.

'Think rationally. Correlation is not causation. Everything is fine. Everything is fine-!'

"Light! Don't you have your night classes? You better get a move on!" Sachiko calls you from the bottom from the stairs.

"C-coming!"

"Kay! Are you going? Are you feeling okay?" the elder woman continues.

'Feeling okay? Of course not! I just killed someone!' Kay thought to herself, beginning to hyperventilate.

"I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?" Light whispers, giving her a concerned look.

"I'm fine."

Stuffing the Death Note into her backpack, she slings the bag around her shoulders before stalking out of the room.

'Today's going so damn well!'

Kay could hardly pay attention on the walk to class, nor would she be able to recall a single thing said during the extra lesson. She didn't snap out of her daze until their walk back home. Specifically, she was drawn in to motorcyclists zooming past her and Light. Tapping her shoulder, Light got her attention before pointing at a nearby convenience store.

"Test," he taps before turning to go inside.

An uneasy feeling settling in her stomach, but she follows, her head down and her eyes trained on the floor. The two walked over to a magazine rack in front of the window, and Light opened one of the tabloids to a random page while Kay did the same for the Death Note, sliding it in front of Light since he was already holding a pencil.

They overheard one of the bikers introduce himself, so they had a name and a face. Kay watched with cold eyes as the girl they were harassing begged them to stop and let her go. She wanted to rush out and help her, but her feet stayed planted. Light closed the Death Note first and handed it back to her before continuing to 'read' the magazine. She quickly stored it away out of sight in her bag, and the two watched the fastest

needle tick by on Light's wristwatch. Time slowed, and Kay became more nauseous with every millisecond.

'It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.'

With five seconds left before the notebook of death could be proven fake, the girl is able to shove her captors back and runs through the street. The guy who's name Light had written down revved the engine of his motorcycle before speeding after her. Kay's breathing hitches and she leans forward, wide-eyed, as a semi-truck seemingly comes out of nowhere, colliding with the biker, killing him.

Kay's knees buckle and wobble, and she feels ready to pass out from the dizziness. Covering her mouth, she retches before swallowing hard. Closing her eyes, her ears burned as her heart pounded in her skull. Though there were no clouds in the sky, she could hear rain tearing down on metal as thunder boomed somewhere off in the distance menacingly. She felt cold and wet, she felt small and powerless, she felt confused and disoriented and abandoned and heartbroken.

Light hooked his arm under hers, pulling her close to him and out of the shop, forcing her to flee the scene with him. He quickly guided her away, ducking into an empty alleyway away from the chaos. They both felt like puking, they both felt like screaming, they both felt like the biggest mountain had been dropped on them.

The Death Note really works; they killed people.

"Get rid of that damn thing," Kay says, barely audible.

Light paused, unsure why he felt angry over Kay's verdict. To avoid drawing any attention to them by possibly causing a scene, he waits until they are home to voice his disagreement over the fate of the Death Note. That started a screaming match between the two, and a verbal fight broke out. Sachiko and Sayu were out visiting Soichiro at the police station, so neither teens bothered to lower their voices.

"Y-You're insane!" Kay exclaimed, her stutter resurfacing from distress.

"For wanting to save the world?"

"For wanting to murder! Writing is the gun, Light! Even from a thousand miles away, blood of human beings will shed on your hands, forever staining your skin!"

"We're the only ones who can do it!"

"We're not talking about euthanizing animals with rabies, Light! We are talking about people!"

"Bad people!"

"It's not that simple!"

"Show me what's right about the wrongs that we allow. This whole damn system's broken way beyond repair; we just have law and no order," Light said, passion behind his voice as he waved his hands around to emphasize his frustration.

"But-!"

"What about the victims waiting for some justice? How can we turn away and say that's just the way things are?"

"I…" Kay trailed off, her voice losing the anger as she began thinking of her own past.

"What about the families hiding in their houses; all of them afraid to walk the streets at night with their doors locked and locked again. Tell me where is the justice. If there's any justice!"

"Families?...N-no. Your simple arguments have all been made before. The world's not black and white, and overwrought pronouncements won't improve the paradigm," Kay objected.

"Are we supposed to let the corporations make the rules? All go unaccountable when everything goes wrong!"

"Light-!"

"Let the rich and famous get away with murder? Where is the justice for all the victims?" Light interrupted, angry that she wasn't in-step with him.

"No-!"

"What good is law that can't punish those who break it?" he asked, softer now.

Light turns the computer monitor to show Kay the file of the man that killed her parents; including a vehicular manslaughter trial that was more recent and he again walked away scot-free from.

Kay stares at the words, his name, and his picture; breathing heavily as her heart pounded in her chest. Light moves behind her to whisper into her ear.

"Politicians make their speeches all day long while judges pushing pencils hardly get it right. Instead of loopholes for the laws to fall between, there's a good old fashioned payback. Aren't you sick to death of all of this?"

Kay swallows the lump in her throat as tears pricked her eyes. Light moves back a bit, stepping around so that the two were facing each other again.

"Listen to the families hiding in their houses! We must give them their justice; we owe them some justice!"

"Where is the justice?" Kay mumbled, feeling dazed.

Dissociating, she takes the pen that Light was already holding out, her eyes empty, and she leans over the desk as she begins writing in the notebook, no life behind her movements as she let out shallow breaths.

* * *

 _ **Genesis 6:6 - "And the LORD regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieves him to his heart."**_

* * *

 _[29 November 2003]_

Kay walked down the school hallway with a ghostly expression. She felt like she was being watched wherever she went, like someone she couldn't see was following her. Light was by her side, and she just wanted to scream at him to go away. They only found out that the Death Note was real yesterday, but she was already having nightmares, already weary.

How could she do this? She's killed two people! This isn't her!

'Justice is not the death penalty.'

Yes, she was pissed at society, enraged. But to take another's life? How was that her call to make? It wasn't! Every time she had a moment where she wasn't distracted, she could see the three men whose names reside in the Death Note and now on tombstones. She could feel them glaring at her. She betrayed them. She didn't know them, but there's a trust between individuals to not harm each other, and she broke it. They trusted her to not kill them, and she did just that.

She avoided the mirrors in the bathrooms, and wouldn't look out the windows. Her reflection would be staring back at her, judging her for her anonymous sins.

'How is Light able to bear being alive? He's acting like nothing happened!'

Kay felt numb, she felt dirty, she felt ashamed. She let her emotions cloud her judgment; the darkness that shrouded her had promised her vengeance and she had yielded to it. Now, she finds it repulsive that she didn't write her own name as well.

Kay couldn't speak much beyond simple phrases; her thoughts were too busy to do more. She fidgeted when she was sitting and paced when she was standing. Her nails were picked and bitten to the point of bleeding, and her eyes seemed so hollow, even in the sunlight. Her mind circled back and forth between the same things for hours on end as if stuck inside an endless loop.

She couldn't talk, she couldn't sleep, and she couldn't eat, which made her feel even worse. Secrets from Light, secrets from the world, secrets from herself that she dare not address for the fear of losing her sanity.

'How?' rang through her head over and over again like an echo on repeat.

Her skin felt like ants, her heart felt like needles, and her mind was a battleground. Rationally, the Death Note shouldn't have worked. Rationally, she shouldn't have even teased the idea of ending the life of a man whom had ruined her own. Rationally, she shouldn't do anything until she can clear her head.

After school, Kay didn't wait for Light in the courtyard like she usually does. Instead, she goes off on her own. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to look at him. When he called her, she put her phone on silent. She didn't want him.

'His eyes…'

Light's eyes did not hold the same regret and anguish as hers. He was unfazed, unaffected. She always knew that Light was passionate about changing the world; he's been dead-set on joining the NPA ever since they were little. She could follow his thought process to the very end without him even having to explain it, but she could not follow his actions. Yes, she wanted the end, but the means were not justifiable.

She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel.

Kay found herself wandering into McGronalds despite her not having a shift that day. Still, she walked behind the counter to the work room, where she collapsed into her favorite beanbag. She knew who was on the clock, and she knew that she wouldn't have to wait long.

Soon, Tomomi walked through the door.

"Kay! What are you doing here?" she asked.

"School just let out. I need some distractions and relaxation."

"Well, kid, you're in luck; I just clocked out! Come on, let's go to the shopping district."

Kay smiled before getting up, following the elder woman out of the restaurant and onto the streets. The two walked in silence, neither feeling the need to talk and disturb the peaceful quiet. However, malls are never quiet. While they ate a small snack in the food court, Tomomi spoke first.

"You seem more distracted than usual. What's going on in that big, smart head of yours?"

"Have you ever done something and then regretted it later?"

Light would surely be pissed at her for giving anything away, but she trusted Tomomi and wanted to talk to her.

"Mm, sometimes; like when I've had too much to drink. Why?"

"Um, we're learning about the mental and emotional effects of regret in my psychology class," she lied, loathing herself for doing such.

"Oh, that's cool."

Kay opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by her phone buzzing.

'Come home. - Light'

"Ugh. Sorry. I have to go. Another time?" the teen asked, standing up.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing's wrong. I just need to get home. I'll see you later, okay?"

As Kay briskly walked away, Tomomi gazed at her, deep in thought.

On the walk home, Kay felt ready to puke and had to suppress the urge to run. She had told him that she was going out, and she hadn't been dodging any plans with him. It was so unlike Light to text her in that kind of tone. Was she just reading too much into it? Was she becoming paranoid?

'Calm down. Clear your head. Everything is fine.'

Arriving home, she stood in the doorway, biting her nail for a moment before entering the house, announcing her presence while taking off her shoes. When no one answered, Kay's heart began racing in her chest.

Ascending the stairs timidly, she crossed to her bedroom door, pushing down on the handle before walking in. Her phone had been clutched tightly in her hand, but it now dropped to the floor as horror consumed her eyes and mind.

"What the hell are you doing?" she exclaimed, slamming the door behind her so that no one would overhear.

Light's desk chair swiveled so that he could look at her, a contempt expression on his face. A pen was still in his hand, and he made no attempt to cover up what he was doing. Kay stalked over, snatching up the Death Note. Terror enveloped her as she saw that almost an entire page was filled with names.

"What...how could you...you…"

Kay felt like she couldn't breathe, and she glared at Light with enragement and mortification. Her hands trembled with the rest of her body, and her stomach churned further.

Light tilted his head, but his smile never dropped and the gleam never left his eyes.

"I'm beginning our work to cleanse this world of sin. We are the genesis of a new justice thanks to the Death Note."

"Y-y-you're psychotic!"

"I'm right, Kay! You and I, we're the only ones who can do this! We're the only ones strong enough! Is it really just a coincidence that I was the one to find this? You and I are meant to do the right thing!" Light exclaimed, standing up and grabbing the Death Note, placing it on the desk before taking Kay's hands in both of his.

She yanked her hands back, taking a few steps away from Light. Blinking rapidly, her nostrils flared as thoughts, emotions, morals, dreams, and everything else crashed into her like a hurricane made up of an entire sea. Her mouth hung open, her jaw rigid as she gasped in her struggle to find words to say.

Her gaze drifted to the notebook of death, and she looked over each and every name, memorizing them so that they would forever be ingrained in her head. When she looked back to Light, she inwardly shuddered as she saw that he was glaring at her with narrowed eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"You're a monster," she whispered.

"Look at me," he commanded, grabbing her by the shoulder when she turned her head away, "I'm not a monster. I admit, what we are doing seems so wrong, so monstrous. But we're not; we are righteous. You and I have always spoken of how corrupt society is. Now, we can change that; make things the way we want them to be!"

He smiled at her as if he were overcome with joy, and Kay found that utterly terrifying.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing! You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding, Light!"

"You weren't against this last night! You were with me on this last night! Why are you suddenly turning against me?"

"Last night, I made the worst possible decision I could have! The fact that I have blood on my hands makes me want to tear my skin off! The fact that you're not as mortified as I am makes me think that you're a sociopath!"

"Yes, okay, when I first thought about sacrificing myself for the world, I thought I sounded insane, too," Light said softly, holding his hands out in front of him without touching Kay, "I wondered if I, if we, had the guts to do it. But, then, it hit me: no one else would be able to do it. Kay, you're the strongest, most powerful-minded person I know, and I know that you want the same thing that I do. I understand that it sounds morbid; I really do-"

"Then you'll understand why I'm burning that fucking thing."

Light grabs Kay by the wrist, not looking her in the eye as his voice came out weak, vulnerable.

"Please, don't," he begs before twisting Kay's wrist up so that it, along with his own hand, was by her face as he stepped closer, hovering over her as he gazed down into her eyes pleadingly, "We can make all the bad people go away, and the good people won't have to be afraid anymore. We won't have to be afraid anymore. You won't have to be afraid anymore, Kay."

Something about Light's eyes and body language sent Kay back into the same trance as yesterday, a feeling of utter indifference washing over her. Without emotions, without empathy, Light's argument was sound. Erase what's bad so that only what's good can remain. Even in her haze, she knew that this train of logic was lacking something, but it seemed irrelevant at that point in time. Light was so calm, that it only seemed right to be so as well.

Kay's eyes were barely open as she gazed back at Light. She leaned forward, and he wrapped his arms around her, her own limply at her sides.

Neither of them said anything, but it was obvious to both of them what was to come regarding the Death Note.


	2. II

"Welcome home!" Mrs. Yagami chirps as Kay and Light walk through the front door.

She holds her hands out in anticipation and the two best friends stare at her for a moment before realizing what she was waiting for and opened their bags. They pulled out papers and Mrs. Yagami looks over them.

"My, my! Tied for Number One yet again! The test is nationwide, you know?"

"Yeah," Kay says.

"We're going to go study in our room, so don't disturb us," Light continues.

"Okay. Do you two want anything special? Anything at all!" Mrs. Yagami exclaims as Kay and Light head up the stairs.

"No thank you," Light calls before he closes the bedroom door.

"We already have everything we need," Kay says, voicing what she knows Light is thinking.

They walk over to the desk and Light pulls the Death Note out of a drawer. They stare at it for a moment, Light chuckling quietly.

"You've taken quite a liking to it."

Kay and Light whip around and scream when they see Ryuk standing behind them.

"Why're you so surprised? I'm Ryuk the shinigami and the one who dropped that notebook. I'm guessing by your laughter that you both know that it's no ordinary notebook.

"A...shinigami?!" Kay stutters, bending down to help Light, who had fallen out of the desk chair in surprise.

The teen boy composes himself for a moment before speaking.

"I'm not surprised, Ryuk. In fact...we've been waiting for you!" Light says, looking the shinigami in the eye.

"We have?" Kay asks.

"And there are some things I want to show you," he continues, ignoring Kay.

He rips open the Death Note and shows it to Ryuk. The shinigami takes the notebook and flips through the pages.

"My, my! Look at all the people you two have killed in just five days."

Light doesn't see but Ryuk notices a shadow pass over Kay's face before she looks at her best friend with an unreadable expression.

"So what happens now? Are you going to take our souls?" she asks.

"Huh? Is that another thing you humans made up? I'm not going to do anything to you. Once the Death Note lands in the human world, it belongs to the human world. So it's yours," Ryuk explains, pointing to Light.

"Mine…"

"While both of us use the Death Note, Light was the one who first picked it up. So it belongs to him…" Kay mumbles, deep in thought again.

"That's right. Also, you two are the only ones who can see and hear me. The Death Note is the bond between Light and Kay the humans and Ryuk the shinigami."

"The bond…" Light murmures.

"So there are no consequences for using the Death Note?" Kay asks, glancing at Light again.

"No. Although, it is said that humans who use the Death Note are plagued with nightmares and bad luck."

"Tell me about it…"

"Is that all?" Light asks Ryuk.

"One more thing: anyone who uses the Death Note can neither go to Heaven nor Hell."

"That would've been nice to know ahead of time."

"Silly Kay. That just means that there is no Heaven or Hell!" Light says, cheerful for some reason.

"You'll find out about that after you die. Hyuk! Hyuk!" Ryuk says.

"Ryuk?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you drop the notebook?" Kay asks.

"Because I was bored, that's why. I'm in the shinigami's realm, so killing people in the human world isn't any fun. It's more fun to be here, is how I figured it," Ryuk explains before he looks at the Death Note again, "Gotta say, though, you two really wrote a lot of names in here."

Kay's eyes fall to the floor again.

"I was...bored too…" Light says, making both the shinigami and other human give him a bewildered look.

"Tell me something: why did you only specify the cause of death for the guy who got hit by a truck?" Ryuk asks.

"All the criminals whose names we write down die of a heart attack. It's the same every time. Even a fool is going to notice that somebody is bumping off the bad guys. People are going to know that someone out there is passing righteous judgement! Eventually, only good people will live on Earth!" Light exclaims.

"Then the only one left with a bad personality will be you two," Ryuk points out.

"What are you talking about, Ryuk? We're serious, straight-A students," Light says.

"Model teenagers," Kay finishes.

"And we...will reign over a new world! Everyone will accept us as the God and Goddess!" Light says optimistically.

Kay smiles softly at her best friend before looking down at the Death Note.

* * *

" _Sachiko! I'm home!" Soichiro calls out as he closes the door behind him, careful to not make large or sudden movements._

 _Sachiko comes into the room with a hand splayed on her pregnant belly and 3-year-old Light tailing close behind her._

" _Welcome home, darling! Let me get your raincoat for you!" she says, taking her husband's coat before dropping it suddenly and gasping._

 _For in Soichiro's arm, he cradled a little girl with burns and scratches. She's still but quite awake, her large, green eyes shining brightly._

" _Who...who's this?" Sachiko asks, fighting her motherly instincts to take the toddler in her own arms and take care of her wounds._

" _This is Kay. She's the same age as Light. Hold on a second," the police officer says._

 _He scoops up his son and walks up the stairs before entering Light's room._

" _Son, can you keep an eye on our guest here?" he asks._

" _Okay, Papa!"_

 _Soichiro smiles before setting Kay down on the rug and leaving the room. He leaves the door open and heads downstairs. The two toddlers stare at each other for a moment, both nervous about the stranger in front of them._

" _Do you like puzzles?" Light asks, breaking the hush that had fallen over the room._

 _Kay nods her head and wobbles to her feet before following Light to a table with a bunch of puzzle pieces on them. The two work for a few moments, Kay invested with the puzzle while Light keeps glancing at his house guest._

" _You don't talk much, do you?" he asks._

 _Kay shakes her head as she reaches over to pick up a puzzle piece, leaning into Light in the process._

 _Downstairs, Sachiko places two mugs of tea on the table and sits across the table from her husband._

" _Soichiro...who is this little girl?"_

" _Kay was found in the woods two days ago looking even more battered and bruised than now. She was rushed to the hospital and I was the one assigned to figure out where she came from and who had hurt her. It turns out that she had escaped from that orphanage that went up in flames...so awful what happened...she fled into the woods and was wandering for several days alone with no food or water. Sachiko, darling, I know that we are already about to have a little girl, but Kay had no one! And she and I have already formed a bond!" he says._

 _Mrs. Yagami looks down and sips her tea in thought. After a moment, she sighs and sets her mug down._

" _I am not saying that we should go ahead and call up the adoption agency...but I can't think of a reason why we can't share the roof over our heads until she is healed and feeling better," she says, a smile beginning to form._

" _I'm going to go check on them," Soichiro says, standing up and heading upstairs._

 _He peeks around the edge of the door frame into Light's room and sees Light and Kay laying on the ground next to each other, snoring softly. He smiles before he carefully scoops the two toddlers up and tucks them into bed. He smiles once more before he turns off the lights and closes the door._


	3. III

Kay and Light return from yet another day of school and go to their room without a word to Mrs. Yagami. She closes the door behind them and hands an apple to Ryuk while Light goes to his desk and takes the notebook out of the drawer.

"I hate leaving the Death Note at home."

"Why, Light?" Kay asks.

"Until I see this, when I'm at school or anywhere else, I just can't relax."

Light turns on the computer while Kay turns on the TV and gives Ryuk another apple. She can't explain why, but she always wants to give the shinigami apples ever since she found out that he loves them.

"Check this out, Ryuk," Light says pulling up a website.

"Hm?"

The site has a header that reads "The Legend of Kira the Savior".

"Kira...I don't really like how it obviously comes from 'killer', but that's what people all over the world already know us as," Light says happily, turning his chair to look at Kay, who stares blankly at the monitor.

The TV buzzes for a moment, the screen only displaying static, before it switches to show a man sitting at a table with a name card in front of him.

"We are interrupting the program to bring you a live, globally televised broadcast…" the conductor of the broadcast says.

"I am Lind L. Tailor, more commonly known as 'L'-the sole person able to mobilize police in every country worldwide," the man on the screen says.

"What...the hell?!" Kay whispers

"Criminals have been the target of a killing spree...which has turned into the biggest mass murder case in history. This monstrous crime must be stopped at all costs. 'Kira', as the perpetrator is commonly known, **will** be caught. I guarantee it," Lind continues, making Light spring up, causing his chair to fly back and almost hit Kay.

"Moron! Like **hell** we'll be caught. I've got the Death Note, see? Without this, you don't have any proof-none. There's no way you can catch me!" Light exclaims.

"Light, calm down. Someone's going to hear you and there's no point in you getting all riled up," Kay says.

"Kira. I think I've got a pretty good idea of why you're doing this. But what you are doing...is evil!" Lind finishes.

"We are righteous! We're the heroes who are liberating people from fear. We're the saviors who're going to be like a god and goddess of this perfect new world! Those who try to fight us... **they're** the evil ones!" Light yells, picking up a pen and begins writing in the Death Note.

"Wait!" Kay says before she tackles him to the ground, stopping him from writing the name down.

"Kay? What are you doing?!"

"Something's wrong here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hold on a second," Kay says, moving off of Light and going to the computer.

She pulls up a search engine and types in Lind's name. She clicks on the article and skims it for a second before standing back to let Light see.

"Lind L. Tailor has a presence on social media with his name and face available to anyone. If he is L, why would he never show his face to the police?"

"But," Light says, beginning to calm down but still eyeing the Death Note, "why would they do this then? If it is a trick, then they think that Kira would kill him."

"Hmm...he used to post regularly but he has been completely absent as of late...Hypothetical here: Lind committed a crime recently, something horrible worthy of the death penalty...Could the police have arrested him in secret so that Kira couldn't kill him? Then they could use him like they might be now as bait."

"How could they be using him as bait?"

Kay straightens up and begins pacing for a moment, glancing at the TV screen that still displays Lind.

"...It's not actually a worldwide broadcast!"

"What?" Ryuk asks, popping into the conversation.

"If I'm right, they're going to show it in different countries to gauge where Kira is located! If I'm right, we can use this to our advantage."

"Woah! I'd never even think of that!" Ryuk exclaims.

"How can we use him?" Light asks.

"You're more tech-savvy than me, Light. Is it possible to see when this broadcast is shown elsewhere?"

"I think so," Light says, finally getting off the floor and returning to sit at his desk.

"I say that we wait until it's broadcasted in a place with the largest population possible. If I'm right about them dividing it by country, then we will make our move when it airs in China."

"We'll be sending them on possibly the largest goosechase in history!" Light concludes, smiling mischievously.

The two best friends look at each other and smile in satisfaction.

* * *

" _Light! Kay! Come inside! I've prepared some lunch for you!" Sachiko calls from the doorway._

 _The two 4-year-olds stop kicking around the soccer ball and run inside._

" _Hi, Sayu!" Light exclaims as he sits next to his little sister's high chair._

" _What would you two like with your lunch?" Mrs. Yagami asks._

" _Barbecue potato chips!" Light chirps._

" _Kay?"_

 _The little girl nods her head in agreement. Sachiko's smile fades when she faces away from the children._

' _She still only talks to Light and Soichiro...It's been a year since she first came to live with us and yet…'_

" _Mom?" Light asks._

" _Hm? Oh, yes, your lunch!" she says, her smile returning._

 _She brings the plates to the table and sits on the other side of Sayu's highchair. She begins feeding the baby when Kay pokes Light's leg._

" _What is it?" Light asks before he leans closer to Kay so that she can whisper in his ear like she usually does when someone besides him or his dad was in the room._

" _Can you leave the room and take Sayu with you?" she whispers._

 _Light leans back and gives her a quizzical look before he complies. He reaches up and takes Sayu outside to play with the leaves that dance in the wind this time of year._

 _Sachiko looks at Kay nervously, not sure what the child was thinking or about to do._

" _Hi," Kay says, looking Mrs. Yagami directly in the eye._

" _H-hi!" she responds, trying to control her excitement._

" _I didn't mean to make you sad."_

" _What?"_

" _Before you sat down, you were sad because I nodded my head. All this time, I thought that you were sad because I was here. I only put it together now that it was because I wasn't talking."_

" _I'm happy that you're here, Kay. But why wouldn't you talk to me?"_

" _...You look like my mother did."_

" _What?"_

" _I wasn't at the orphanage for very long. My parents died in a car crash right after I turned three. It's hard but I still somewhat remember what they looked like."_

" _Oh, Kay!" Sachiko exclaims, standing up and rushing around to the other side of the table._

 _The little girl gasps as arms wrap around her tightly from behind. She had been hugged quite a lot since she came to live with the Yagamis, but this felt different. It felt like...a mother's embrace? Kay has to stop herself from crying so that she could get her thoughts out clearly._

" _I don't think I'll ever call you my mom and I don't think it'll ever feel right for you to call me your daughter…"_

" _I know," Sachiko coos, still hugging Kay._

" _But I do think I'll grow to call you guys my family...eventually."_

" _That sounds reasonable…"_

 _The two stay in silence, Sachiko's arms still around Kay._

" _Do you miss them?" Mrs. Yagami finally asks, her voice barely above a whisper._

" _Like a flower that longs to see the sun after a storm."_


	4. IV

Light and Kay lounge around their room with Kay in her hammock-bed and Light sitting in the door frame that leads to their balcony. Ryuk lays on the bed, munching an apple.

"Never seen you looking so listless, Light," the shinigami says before glancing over to Kay.

"Just taking a little break; I'm kinda tired. With just about every news outlet covering 'Kira vs. L', it's stressing me out," the teen boy replies.

Kay's assumption did prove useful and now L is operating under the notion that Kira is in the Eastern region of China. Kay was proud of herself but Light was being quite passive about it. Even Ryuk could sense the growing tension between the two best friends.

While the shinigami said that he was neither on Kira nor L's side, he was on Kay's. While Light was snappy and sometimes rude to him, Kay always treated him with kindness and spoiled him with juicy red apples. Also, she was very interesting to spectate.

"You sure you can afford to chill?"

"Yeah, I can. I knew that Kay and I could do it even if the infamous L himself began hunting us down. We have a certain advantage, see."

While Light may not see it, it's obvious that Kay doesn't want to be Kira. What's also obvious is that she's doing it anyway. Whether she's doing it because she loves Light and doesn't want to let him down or make sure that he doesn't kill her is yet to be determined in Ryuk's mind.

Kay swings her legs over the side of the hammock and stands up with a _huff_.

"I need to get some fresh air. Ryuk?" Kay turns to look at the shinigami as she stretches a bit.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

Kay puts on a light hoodie and slips on her shoes before leaving the house.

"Where are we going?" Ryuk asks.

"You'll see."

Ryuk hovers behind Kay on their journey that takes half an hour, neither saying anything on the way.

"We're here," Kay says as she stops before a sign that reads "Nakagami Orchards".

Ryuk goes nuts and zooms over to a tree and begins gobbling apple after apple, juice running down his face. Kay smiles softly as she watches the shinigami zoom from tree to tree in pure glee.

"Mm! Kay! You gotta try these apples! They're so juicy!"

The teen complies and picks an apple that was hanging from a low branch. She bites into it and her eyes light up.

"You're right, Ryuk! These are amazing!"

"So," Ryuk says before he downs another apple, "why did you bring us out here?"

"What? Can't I spoil my favorite shinigami?"

"I'm your only shinigami."

"You got me there!" Kay says, chuckling for a moment.

"I think I know why."

"Hm?"

"You want me to take the notebook back to the shinigami realm, and you don't want Light to know that you're betraying him," Ryuk states more than asks.

"...Y-yes…"

"No can do."

"What?! Why?!"

"I mean, I could, but I'd have to kill the current owner of the Death Note."

"Light…" Kay breathes before she spirals back into deep thought.

"Besides, I don't want to go back to the shinigami realm. You humans are a riot!"

"Let's go back, Ryuk," Kay says absently.

"I'm going to fly home. The walk here was so boring!" Ryuk exclaims before zooming off.

The shinigami is back at the Yagami residence in a matter of minutes and finds Light at his desk, gazing at the Death Note once again. Suddenly, Sayu knocks on the door.

"Light? I need help with my homework!"

"What? Oh, uh, coming!"

Light puts the notebook back in the drawer and opens the door.

"Where's Kay?"

"Went out to get some fresh air. What do you need help with?"

"Ta-da! Quadratic functions!" Sayu says, presenting her homework.

"Alright," Light says, walking back to his desk.

"Watch out, Light...that Death Note in your drawer...if she touches it, well, anyone who touches it can see me," Ryuk says, making Light's eyebrow twitch.

'Now he tells me something crucial like that...this damn shinigami…'

Light helps Sayu for almost an hour, Kay having come in and was lying in her hammock absentmindedly.

"Light, Kay, Sayu, it's dinner time! Come downstairs," Mrs. Yagami calls.

"Coming," Sayu yells before running out of the room.

Kay get up and grabs Light by the wrist, stopping him from leaving. He turns to look at her and she kisses him softly and quickly.

"What was that for?"

"No reason. C'mon, I think I heard the front door close."

The two head downstairs and see Mr. Yagami taking his shoes off.

"Hi, Dad."

The family sit down at the table and begin eating. Soichiro talks about the Kira case while eating, hoping that Light can help with the investigation.

'Is this the advantage Light was talking about?' Ryuk thinks to himself.

* * *

" _Kay, can I talk to you about something?" Light asks, glancing nervously from the book he was reading._

" _Sure. What's up?" Kay asks, not looking up from her homework._

" _There's this...there's this girl that I like. I want to tell her how I feel but if she doesn't return the feelings, I'm afraid that our friendship might be ruined."_

 _Kay looks up in surprise before she puts down her pencil and walks over to sit on Light's bed._

" _Talk to me."_

" _Well, she's pretty,_ _ **smart**_ _, kind, funny...she's perfect."_

" _What does she think of you?"_

" _I'm not sure…"_

" _Well...if you really like this girl, then I say go for it. If she's actually as kind as she is, she'll still want to be friends even if she doesn't like you romantically," Kay says kindly._

 _Light closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He slides his hand to lay on top of Kay's and turns his head to look into her eyes._

" _Kay...I like you...a lot…"_

 _The 14-year-old girl stares at him with an unreadable expression, thinking about the best way to respond. She moves her hand away and Light's eyes fill with sadness, his chest sinking._

" _I understand. It'd probably be best anywa-"_

 _He's cut off by Kay taking his cheeks in her hands and pulling him to her lips, her eyes closed. Light stares at her in shock for a moment before he does the same and deepens the kiss. They break away after a moment, breathing heavily and looking into each others' eyes._

" _No one can know, okay?"_

" _Why?"_

" _Because I want your memories of us and everything else in your heart to belong to me alone."_


	5. V

"Homework is so **boring**!" Kay exclaims, tossing papers onto the floor.

"If you're not going to do your homework, then do your other job," Light says, not looking up.

Kay sighs and picks up the Death Note as she turns on the TV and puts it on mute.

"Have you checked out the police notes yet?" she asks.

"No. Give me a sec."

Light turns on his computer and logs onto his father's police account.

"Ha! We led them to the exact conclusion that we wanted them to!" he exclaims before scooting back to let Kay see the monitor.

"Time for Phase 2?"

"Mhm."

"Wait, what's phase 2? What's going on?" the shinigami asks, downing another apple.

"You're really bad at paying attention, Ryuk," Kay says playfully.

"Based on when the heart attacks have been up until now, the police have drawn the conclusion that Kira is a student."

"Why would you do that? You two don't want to get caught, do you?"

"They still think that Kira lives or at least was in China when they used Lind. Light and I aren't even on L's radar."

"Okay...but what's this phase 2?"

"Write someone's name in the Death Note, they die of a heart attack. But, you can write details of the death within the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds. That's the beauty of the Death Note!" Light says, smiling.

"Which means that we can write the cause of death to be a heart attack and then add details to it. Phase 2 is that deaths will now be scheduled to be one prisoner's death every hour, on the hour."

"So that'll lead the police to scratch the student idea...but why let the idea get in their heads in the first place?" Ryuk asks.

"The police may rule out students, but L won't. He'll realize that Kira is doing this on purpose, as if he's doing it to say that the police are wrong. But how would Kira know what the police are thinking?"

"Kira has to be able to access police files. L will have no choice but to begin suspecting those who are on the Kira case and their families and friends. The police will find out about L investigating them and, thus, in-fighting will begin. The NPA and other police organizations will shut L out. Without each other, there's no way in _hell_ that they will be able to catch Kira!," Kay finishes, grinning too.

"Wow! You two are cunning!"

"Thank you, Ryuk!" she chirps.

"Let's start scheduling the heart attacks tomorrow at 12 AM," Light says, ignoring Ryuk's compliment.

"Okay, I'll start writing down the prisoners we have stockpiled."

Kay turns off the TV and takes Light's seat at the desk while he moves to his bed. She pulls up the list of prison inmates, making sure that they are scattered around the globe before writing the names down along with a time of day while Light continues his homework. The two work in silence, both consumed in what they were doing.

"You two work very hard and very well together."

"We never would have started using the Death Note if we didn't know that we could handle it. We are dedicated to making this world a better place, Ryuk," Light says, automatically assuming that the shinigami was talking about being Kira.

Kay stops writing momentarily and glances at Light then Ryuk before returning to her work.

"You two would make fine shinigami," Ryuk says, more to see what her reaction would be than to praise them.

"Don't rope us in with them," Kay says.

"If shinigami are really like what you have said, then they are nothing more than powerful children who are selfish and are afraid of death," Light says, suddenly feeling cocky.

The room falls back into silence and Ryuk begins mentally comparing Light and Kay.

'When I first came to the human world, they seemed almost like the same person. But now...does Light notice the differences?'

* * *

" _Hey! Cut it out!" Kay yells after she was shoved to the ground._

" _Or what? Your mommy and daddy are gonna come save you? Oh, wait! They're dead!" a bully taunts._

" _Shut up, Sudou!"_

" _Sure, Kay, I'll shut up...If you give me a kiss!" he teases._

 _Kay stands up and brushes some dirt off her uniform before she walks up to Sudou. She stares at him for a moment before she swings her arm back. He doesn't have enough time to react and her hand collides with his jaw. He stumbles back but doesn't fall over. He clutches the side of his face for a moment, wincing in pain, before he recovers._

" _Oh, you're gonna pay for that you little bit-!"_

 _Sudou is cut off by a soccer ball striking him in the back of the head. The two turn to see Light approaching, his demeanor lax but his expression pissed._

" _Go home, Sudou," he says, calmly, propping his foot on the now-still ball._

" _How adorable! Big '_ _ **brother**_ ' _stepping in to protect ya, eh?" he says, smiling conivingly_

" _I said," Light continues, his voice taking in a menacing tone as he steps closer, "go home."_

" _Who the hell do you think you are, little punk?!"_

 _He punches Light in the middle of his face, breaking his nose. Light recoils for a moment before lunging at Sudou, turning the confrontation into an all-out brawl. Kay desperately tries to break the two up, hating to see Light get hurt. Suddenly, an idea pops into her head._

" _I'm calling the police!" she screams._

 _Sudou stops mid-punch, horror streaking across his face._

" _Not the cops! Mom will kill me!" he says before booking it across the field and out of sight._

" _I thought you said that your cell phone was dead?" Light inquires, putting his hand to his nose and noticing blood._

" _It is, but Sudou didn't know that!" Kay says with a smile._

 _Light chuckles before he takes his tie off and holds it up to his nose, glad that the fabric was already red. Kay notices how beat-up he looks and her face displays how worried she is._

" _Come on. The nurse clocked out half an hour ago. Let's go patch you up," she says before taking Light's hand and guiding him back into the school._

" _What did Sudou want, anyway?" he asks on their way to the nurse's station._

" _Take a wild guess."_

" _He wanted you to do his homework?"_

" _Bingo."_

" _You think he would learn that you have nothing to do with cheating," Light trails off as they arrive at their destination._

 _He sits on one of the beds as Kay scrounges around for some bandages and other stuff._

" _You gonna fix me up, Doc?" Light jokes._

" _This'll sting," Kay warns before pouring some hydrogen peroxide on the gash above his left cheek._

 _Light winces and instinctively pulls back a little before he forces himself to stay still._

" _Sorry! Sorry! Just a little more on your busted lip!" Kay exclaims._

 _Light sighs in relief after she caps the bottle. Kay picks up a large band-air and carefully places it over his cheek._

" _There's nothing I can put on your nose or lip," Kay explains before she puts everything back where she found it._

" _There is one thing that you can put on my lips," Light says._

" _What?" she asks as she returns to his side._

" _Yours?"_

 _Kay smiles before she complies and softly kisses him on the lips before pulling back._

" _Why'd did you have to front Sudou?" she asks quietly as if she was afraid that someone would hear them despite the school being empty._

" _He was harassing you! I couldn't stand by and do nothing!"_

" _You think you would know from the time that you stole my coffee that I can handle myself in a fight!" Kay jokes._

 _Light playfully rubs his jaw, as if where she had clocked him still hurt._

" _I was defending your honor!"_

" _Heh, alright, hero. Let's get you home before Sachiko gets worried."_


	6. VI

"Perfect…" Light mutters, grinning.

Kay walks into the bedroom, holding a plastic bag of apples. Ryuk gasps and is by her side in a millisecond. She giggles before she opens the bag and tosses one at the shinigami, who leaps and catches the apple in his mouth.

"I will never understand how you never get tired of apples, Ryuk!"

"Kay, come look at this," Light commands.

She walks over and stands next to Light, who waits until he has her full attention before continuing.

"While you were at the orchard, I went to the store to pick up some supplies to hide the notebook. It was surprisingly simple."

"Where is it?"

"It's hidden in this drawer," he explains, causing Kay to raise her eyebrow in question.

"Some place obvious was ideal. I can even leave the key in."

Light pulls open the drawer to reveal...a regular notebook.

"Huh? That's not the Death Note!" Ryuk exclaims.

"But the real key is this," Light explains, ignoring Ryuk as he picks up a pen.

"No one would be surprised to find that on the desk," Kay says, echoing his thought process.

"Exactly. There's a tiny hole the size of the pen's ink cartridge on the bottom of this drawer. You'd have to be looking for it to find it. When you stick the cartridge in…" Light trails off, demonstrating.

"A false bottom!"

"So that's why you spent so much time at the compartment store. With both this and that fake diary-"

"No one will ever find the notebook," Kay says, finishing Ryuk's thought.

"Exactly."

"Y'know, Light...I've heard that when a human finds a Death Note, finding somewhere to hide it is always their biggest challenge. But you seem to have it in the bag."

"Don't underestimate him, Ryuk. Light may very well be the smartest man alive."

"Speaking of smart, we better get to our prep class," he says, standing up and grabbing his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder before the three leave the room and out the door.

On the way, the three walk in silence as Ryuk seems to be fascinated about something behind them. Since Light had said that they can't talk to or about the shinigami in public since people can still hear them, Kay says nothing. Even during class Ryuk seems to be watching something outside. Finally, he says something on the walk back home.

"You two know that I am neither on Kira's nor L's side, right?"

Kay hums in response and Light glares at Ryuk in his peripheral vision.

"And, normally, I wouldn't say anything, but it's really bothering me."

"Hey, Yamamoto! What's up?" Light calls, waving to his friend that he sometimes walks home with.

Ryuk waits until they are on the street that they live on before he finishes.

"Someone's been following you two."

Light and Kay stop short and look behind them quickly. Neither see anything and turn around.

"I know he can't seem me but it still feels like _I'm_ being watched since I'm always behind you two."

The three enter the house and silently go up to their room.

"He hasn't come in here," Light says, picking up the piece of paper before they enter.

"How long do you think he's been following us?"

"Two days," Ryuk answers.

"Which means that he's seen nothing more than two hard-working college-bound students," Light says, leaning back in his chair as he crosses his arms behind his head.

"Guess L has already asked to have families of those on the investigation to be investigated themselves."

"We need to get rid of him as soon as possible."

"Why? The longer he tails us, the more likely that Soichiro will find out. Also, it wouldn't hurt for us to be cleared of suspicion."

Light hesitates but ultimately decides that the battle can wait for another day. Either way, there's nothing that he can do until he knows their stalker's name.

* * *

 _Kay shoots up in bed, screaming incoherently. Light wakes up, startled, and turns on the light next to his bed. Soichiro and Sachiko run into the room, knowing what's most likely going on but ready to defend the children anyway. Kay gasps for air and claws at her throat as if she couldn't breathe. Mr. Yagami grabs her hands to prevent her from hurting herself as his wife and eldest child wrap their arms around her from either side. Soichiro then turns on the fan and opens the window, letting in the cool breeze that follows October every year. Kay begins to calm down and return to reality as Sachiko rubs small circles on her back and Light whispers to her that she's okay. After a few moments, her breathing evens and she pulls her legs up to her chest, burying her face in her knees._

" _Dr._ _Itō said that he would make the nightmares go away!" she chokes, tears beginning to stain her pajama pants._

" _These things take time," Soichiro explains._

" _What were you dreaming about?"_

" _Light!"_

" _No, it's okay._ _Dr._ _Itō says that it'll help if I talk about it."_

 _Mr. Yagami joins the three on the bed and they wait for Kay to continue talking._

" _It started out with me being in the car. My parents were there and we were driving on a long stretch of road that had no other people on it. They were singing happy birthday to me when I saw a sable run into the road. Dad swerved to avoid hitting in and accidentally drove the car into a ditch where we collided with a tree. The car burst into flames and I was suddenly back at the orphanage. I was all alone and couldn't find my way out. It felt so real when I began choking on the air as if my lungs were what was on fire...I didn't like that dream."_

 _Mr. and Mrs. Yagami look at each other in concern as Light gets up and leaves the room. He comes back in with a glass of water and gives it to Kay._

" _Dad always tells me that the only way to fight fire is with water," he says, taking the saying literally._

" _Thank you."_

 _Sayu begins crying in another room and Sachiko gets up to tend to the baby girl._

" _I'm going to go make some coffee. Do you think you'll be okay if Light keeps you company?"_

" _Mhm."_

 _Soichiro smiles softly before leaving the room. Light closes the windows before crawling into the bed with Kay like he does every time she has an episode. With the hallway light on and the door ajar, she begins to relax and lies back down, facing Light._

" _I'm sorry that I wake you up a lot."_

" _It's okay," he says before letting out a yawn, "I get nightmares too, sometimes."_

 _The two fall asleep, having good dreams until Light's mom wakes them up a few hours later to get ready for Shōgakkō._


	7. VII

"Kay, tell me something."

"Mm?"

"Remind me everything that we know about the Death Note."

Kay sits up in her hammock and puts her bookmark in the novel that she was reading before giving Light a quizzical look.

"Um...it's a notebook of death dropped down from the Shinigami realm by Ryuk. If you write someone's name in the Death Note while you have their face in mind, they will die 40 seconds later from a heart attack."

"Go on."

"Details of the death can be written within 6 minutes and 40 seconds and they will happen. You can also write the cause of death and it will happen."

"Mhm."

"Why?"

"Y'know all of those criminals we have stockpiled?"

"Yeah…"

"I want to test the boundaries of the Death Note."

"Okie dokie."

Light begins writing out details for the death of a prisoner as Kay goes back to reading. Ryuk munches on an apple as he's pulled back into his thoughts.

'How come Light says that now? He's been testing the notebook for a few days already. Ever since I told them that someone's been following them, it feels like there is a barrier between them now, as if there was some silent argument that they had right in front of me.'

"Ryuk?"

"Huh?"

"You're glaring at me," Light says as Kay looks on with empty eyes.

"Oh, sorry."

The room falls back into silence but only for a moment before Kay springs up, twisting in her hammock before crashing into the ground.

"What the hell?!" Light exclaims, whipping around in his chair.

"Sorry, Light! Gotta go! Meeting Yamamoto!"

"What?" Light calls, the only response he receives is the sound of the front door closing.

"What was that all about?" he asks the shinigami.

"Dunno. I'm gonna tail her and figure out," Ryuk says before he flies out the bedroom window to follow Kay.

"Kay! Hey!" Yamamoto yells as he waves at the end of the street.

Kay jogs to catch up to her classmate and one of her closest friend before the two turn a corner and walk into town.

"Thanks for inviting me out for drink! What's the big occasion, though?"

"Oh? N-nothing! It's just that you're always at home studying or whatever and we don't really get to see each other like we used to anymore!"

"Oh! I missed hanging out with you, too, Yamasan! How come you didn't invite Light?"

"Um-"

"Oh, look! Their specials are chinsuko and barley tea today!" Kay exclaims, pointing at a sign in front of the coffee shop that they were about to enter.

She practically drags him inside and the two grab a booth with a window view. A waitress comes by to take their orders before Yamamoto can finally get his thoughts out.

"There's, uh, something I've been meaning to talk to you about…"

"Hm? What's up?"

The waitress comes back with their desserts and tea, them being two of only a few customers in the restaurant.

"Thank you!" Kay says bubbly before digging into the sweet biscuit.

"Kay?"

"Yeah? You wanted to tell me something? I'm all ears."

"Well, uh, you see-the thing is...is that I…"

"You...what?"

Kay puts down her food and begins twirling the straw around her drink as she looks up at Yamamoto.

"I...l-like you?"

"I like you too, Yamamoto!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah! You're, like, one of my best friends!"

"That's...not what I meant."

"What do you mean, then?" Kay asks, playing dumb in the hope that he would drop it soon.

Instead, he stands up slightly and bends over the table, kissing Kay. Her eyes grow wide and she immediately pushes him away. She covers her mouth in shock before she stands up and makes a beeline for the exit.

"Kay! Wait!" he calls, running after her.

He catches up to her at the end of the street.

"You're...really...fast!" he pants, bending over and squeezing his knees.

"Go away!"

"Kay! I'm sorry, okay! But it was just a kiss! Why are you acting like I'm a criminal or something?"

She stops abruptly and spins around on her heels, facing Yamamoto.

"Loyalty is important to me, okay? I'm dating someone!"

"Must not be an awesome boyfriend since I've never seen you with anyone!" he yells back, getting angry himself.

Kay's cheeks grow a dark red as her eyebrows furrow. A loud _smack_ sounds through the street as a red handprint appears on Yamamoto's cheek.

He cradles the side of his face as he stares at her in disbelief. Tears begin to form in her eyes and she runs before he can say anything else bad about Light.

She runs through the front door, not even bothering to take off her shoes, before rushing into her bedroom.

"Kay? What happen-" Light asks before he sees how upset she is.

She looks at him, opens her mouth to say something, before turning around and locking herself in the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on?" he mutters.

Ryuk flies back in through the window and lies down on Light's bed.

"If I understand human emotions correctly, I'd leave her alone for awhile if I were you."

"Why?"

"Not my place to tell."

"You're not very helpful, are you?"

"No, I am not."

* * *

" _Sachiko? I'm heading out on a walk, okay?"_

" _Okay! Be safe and come back before sundown!"_

" _Yes ma'am!" Kay says before walking out the door._

 _The 16-year-old walks into town and makes a turn before descending below-ground to get on a train. She did not want anyone she knew to see where she was going and what she was getting._

 _She rode the train that would take her as far away from home as she could go while staying in the Kanto region of Japan. When she got off, she asked a local where the nearest pharmacy was. Without getting too lost, she finds the store and enters unnoticed. She wanders through the isles, hoping to not draw attention from the customers._

" _Where would it even be?" Kay mutters to herself, getting frustrated._

 _Finally, she finds what she's looking for and takes it up to the counter. The cashier gives her a questioning look but scans the item anyway._

" _¥1136."_

 _Kay pays quickly and grabs the bagged item before hurrying out of the store. She is able to easily find her way back to the train station and fidgets all the way home. She slips into the house with a death-grip around the bag as she takes off her shoes. Her footsteps are silent as she makes her way up to her room and slips inside without grabbing the attention of any Yagami. She folds the bag as tight as she can before stashing it in one of the drawers of her dresser. She wasn't sure if she was ready to use what she had bought yet but wanted to be prepared ahead of time anyway._

" _Better to have it and not need it than need and not have it," Kay whispers, echoing one of the very few things she can still remember her parents telling her._

 _She eases herself into her hammock and closes her eyes right before Light enters the room. He sighs as he slides his bag off of his shoulder before lying down on his bed._

" _I hate English class. It's such a pain to translate texts with the only reward being another text to translate," Light huffs._

" _Why did you take the class then? It's not like you need the credits or anything!"_

 _Light sits up as his eyes bore into her, trying to make sense of why she was being short with him all of a sudden._

" _It appears that we're both in need of some stress-relieving," he says, his voice bordering on flirtation._

" _What did you have in mind?" Kay asks, immediately falling in sync with Light's mood shift._


	8. VIII

After being in the shower for almost an hour, Kay unlocks the bathroom door. She quietly returns to the bedroom embarrassed about her behavior when she first got home.

"Kay?" Light says her name quietly, almost afraid that he might scare her off back into the bathroom.

"Yamamoto kissed me. I pushed him away immediately and promptly returned home. Please don't be mad."

But Light was mad. Not at Kay, of course. She had done exactly what a faithful partner should have done. He was mad at the person who had the audacity to call him his best friend. Light suddenly became very territorial, a feeling that he had never experienced before. He wanted to show Yamamoto _exactly_ who had the privilege to kiss her.

His eyes narrow and holds out his hand. Kay tentatively accepts it and he pulls her into him, her towel shifting as the two fall back on the bed. Light begins kissing her neck, drinking up the water droplets that linger from her shower. Relief floods over Kay and she runs her hands through Light's hair in response to his display of affection.

"Kay…" he murmurs between kisses.

She undoes his tie, sliding it off from around his neck before tossing it to the floor.

They were not going to the next level or anything; they had done this multiple times before when emotions were high. Yet, Kay was still nervous as she always was before they become intimate. Anxiety has always been part of her life; which was why she feels such a strong urge to be around Light. He was her sanctuary, her reason, her relief. She feels something poke her inner-thigh and Light pulls back.

"Ryuk, you better head off to the apple orchard. They're almost out of season."

The shinigami doesn't have to be told twice and the two Kiras are left alone.

"Perfect," Light murmurs in Kay's ear before he takes off his shirt.

Kay helps him take off the rest of his clothes before dropping her towel on the floor. They admire each other for a moment before Kay returns to the bed. Light climbs on top of her and begins kissing her again, passionate and intense.

"You are my god," she says, knowing what that phrase does to him.

"And you are my goddess," he replies before he leans into her.

* * *

" _You're going to have to speak to me at some point, Kay,"_ _Dr._ _Itō's calm voice says, breaking the silence that had consumed the room._

 _Kay has still only been able to talk to Soichiro and Light since she was found in the woods almost two months ago._ _Dr._ _Itō thought that he would have at least gotten a glimpse into the mind of this three-year-old. But all that he has pulled from their silent sessions is that her eyes always seem so lifeless, as if this toddler has been betrayed by the world itself, and she starts shaking violently if she hears a car drive past. He also can never quite pinpoint her mood. If she's sad, she stares at she's angry, she stares at him. If she's tired, she stares at him. If she's happy...well, Itō doubts that she ever is during their time together. Part of him wants to give up and sign her off as a mental case with a prescription to some drug that will at least trick her into feeling_ _ **something**_ _. But another part of him knows that he cannot give up on this little girl. She seems so lost, so hopeless. Kay is still in there, he just knows it. If only he could break through the barriers that she threw up to keep the pain of her experience at bay._

" _Let's try something new, you and me. I'm going to write a word down on a piece of paper, and you have to draw the first image that pops into your head."_

 _Dr._ _Itō writes down the word "tree" on a blank sheet of printer paper before handing it to Kay along with a small box of crayons._

 _She stares at him hesitantly for a moment before yanking the paper and crayons from him._

' _Does she think I'm going to hurt her?'_

 _Kay begins scribbling with an urgency, as if she'll forget what she's doing if she stops for even a moment. When she slows down, Itō leans forward to see what she's done. She's drawn a simple tree in a simple forest. His eyebrows furrow as he squints closer and sees the faintest outline of the underside of a car._

" _What's that?" he asks, pointing to it._

" _Bad," was all she had managed to say._

 _He had never heard her voice before and considered it major progress. It was hoarse from lack of use but still resembled a child's._

" _Bad? How so?"_

 _But she didn't elaborate. A car drove by and Kay's hands began shaking again as her eyes grew wide. It was as if the sound triggered a portal in her mind that sent her to another world, or possibly another time._

" _Kay? Can you hear me?"_

" _Do you know what it's like? To be burning but not on fire? To be dying but perfectly healthy? To be utterly alone in a room full of people?"_

 _Tears form in her eyes and she pulls her knees up to her chest, attempting to make herself smaller._

" _I can't escape! I can't distinguish reality from fantasy, the present from the past, memories from hallucinations."_

" _Kay?"_

" _I'm so scared! I'm fine one moment, happy even, until I'm not. Something triggers me and I spiral into the bad place!"_

 _Her voice is bordering on hysteria and she's spazzing out in her chair. She covers her ears as her eyes depict emotional pain._

" _I think that that's enough for this session. I'm going to bring Mrs. Yagami into to chat for a bit. Will you be fine in the waiting room with Light? I bet there are some fun toys you can play with!"_ _Dr._ _Itō says calmingly, standing up._

 _Kay suddenly goes still before standing up stiffly and following her therapist out of the room._


	9. IX

"Kay?"

"Yeah, Light?"

"I got the results back from my experiments."

"And?"

"And I've thought of a plan to find out the identity of that guy who's been trailing us."

"Light…" Kay trails off, shifting in her hammock.

"It's safer for us if we just get rid of him."

Kay opens her mouth to protest before backing off and getting up. She crosses over to Light and wraps her arms around his neck from behind. He closes his eyes, putting his pen down, and leans into her embrace.

"I know you're not too fond of the idea, but I truly do believe that killing him will allow us to continue creating the new world for us," he whispers into her ear.

She closes her eyes as well and sighs before responding.

"I trust you. Just promise that you won't keep anything from me."

"...I promise."

'Liar,' Ryuk thinks to himself.

Without consciously acknowledging it the shinigami has formed a favoritism for the girl. Despite what she does and what she's been through, she still holds an essence of purity. Plus, she gives him a lot more apples than Light does.

"So what's your plan for our little friend?" Kay asks, pulling back and leaning against the desk, looking down at Light.

"Tomorrow, the three of us are going to get on a bus for Spaceland that is going to get hijacked."

"What?!"

"Keep your voice down. The only person on that bus who will die will be the hijacker himself."

"Okay…"

"The guy who's been following us will undoubtedly get on the bus with us. When Kiichiro Osoreda, a drug addict who failed to rob a bank but shot a teller and two customers in his escape, gets on the bus two stops later. I'll put our guy in a situation where he will have no choice but to reveal his identity to us. After that, we'll use him to get rid of all the investigators on his team so that we don't seem suspicious."

"But what about Kiichiro?"

"He is scheduled to die after he is hit by a car at 11:45."

"No one else will die?"

"No one else will even get hurt."

"Okay. We better get to bed, then, if we're going to be on that bus for awhile."

* * *

 _The sounds of the fire alarms going off jostled Kay from her sleep. The other kids in her room at the orphanage hadn't come back for bedtime yet. Kay jumped out of bed and flung the door open, revealing that the hallway was already up in flames, smoke making her eyes water and her lungs feel like they are on fire. Kay begins choking as she stumbles around for the emergency exit._

 _She finds the door and puts all of her 3-year-old weight against it. It gives way and she stumbles into the baren stairway. Kay runs as fast as her legs can carry her before she reaches ground floor and slams her body against the exit, breaking out into the open air. She buckles over and gasps for air before assessing to where the fire had licked her skin. Burns along her forearms, feet, and part of her hair was singed off._

 _Scared, tired, and disoriented, Kay ran in a straight line away from the orphanage that had been her home for only a few weeks and into the woods. She ran for what felt like hours despite her muscles screaming for her to stop. She only did when she tripped over a log and her head collided with a rock on her way down, effectively knocking her out._

 _Coming to the next day was agonizing. Adrenaline run out, Kay could feel every nerve that had been at the mercy of the fire and the bleeding gash in her head was unbearable. Getting herself into a sitting position was nearly impossible. She would scream out in pain, but her burned throat only allowed her to let out small croaks instead. She considered sitting up enough accomplishment for the day and, as the world kept swaying beneath her, she fell back into a dreamless sleep._

 _Waking up around sundown to rain was the best feeling in the world for Kay. The physical heat that had been emitting from her burns were being cooled off as steam was released into the air. She held out her tongue and was very slowly able to rehydrate her body. Slowly, Kay uses the tree that she was leaning against to pull herself up to her feet. She fashions a fallen branch into a walking stick like her father had done on their camping trip last spring, and begins cautiously moving towards the West, following the sun like how her mother told her to do in case she got separated from her parents._

 _Eating what she really hoped to be edible plants and taking many breaks, Kay stumbled out of the forest three days later into the arms of police officers who were investigating the area due to an anonymous call saying that there was a shack being used for an opium lab._


	10. X

"Kay?"

The teen girl stirred lightly in her sleep, curling closer into Light's chest. It wasn't their sleeping arrangements every night, but they make an exception when she has a really bad nightmare.

"Kay, we need to get up" Light said again, shifting away and sliding out of bed.

"Nooooo," she mumbles, turning away from the window.

"We need to be at the bus stop in time. Otherwise, this whole experiment will be useless."

The teen girl grumbles again before rolling out of bed. She rubs her eye for a few seconds before taking some clothes from her dresser and heads into the bathroom.

"Can you make a cup of coffee, please?" she called to him through the door.

"Sure."

Light quickly changes and leaves the room. Kay exits the bathroom and goes back to her drawer, pulling out the item she had bought not too long ago. She hadn't needed it when she got it, but now she does. She glances at the bedroom door before hurrying back into the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Light sat by the coffee machine as a pot was brewing. As it was a Saturday, Mrs. Yagami and Sayu weren't up yet. Soichiro never left the police station last night. Ryuk sat on the counter beside him, munching on a juicy, red apple.

"Ryuk…"

"Hm?"

"Go see what's keeping Kay for me."

'I didn't hear a please.'

"Okay," the shinigami says before heading back upstairs.

"Uh, Kay?" he called out to the empty bedroom.

Not thinking, he sticks his head through the bathroom door. Kay doesn't notice him, or at least doesn't acknowledge him. Instead, she sits on the side of the bathtub, holding the item from her drawer. Her expression is unreadable once again, deep in thought as she stares down at what lays in her hands.

"Whatcha got there?"

Kay jumps slightly, dropping the object, before she quickly kicks it behind the toilet.

"Ryuk! Don't you know that it's rude to peep in on a girl in the bathroom?!"

"Oh. Sorry."

The shinigami pulls his head back into the rest of the bedroom and heads downstairs again.

'Did she purposefully dodge the question or was she just flustered? I have a feeling she won't answer me again if I bring it up around Light. Wait, why do I care?'

As Light finishes pouring them coffee, Kay comes downstairs, looking rather pale.

"Kay? Are you feeling alright?" Light asks, concerned.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks for the coffee."

The two sit down at the table and sip their coffee in silence.

'I can't be worrying about her, right now. I need to focus on making sure that I make no mistakes today.'

Light stands up and puts his empty cup in the sink.

"We better leave now if we don't want to miss the bus."

Kay stands up and follows him out the front door, both grabbing their coats as they leave.

"Make sure that you get on first so that I'm on the aisle seat," Light whispers to her, making sure that the investigator trailing them wouldn't hear.

"Mm."

Ryuk hovers over the two as they walk towards the bus stop heading towards Spaceland.

"He's following us now," he informs the Kiras.

The bus arrives soon after they do, and the four get on.

'I should sit in the second row from the back,' Kay thinks to herself.

As she predicted, the stalker sits in the row behind them.

'The hijacker should got on on the next stop.'

As he had written in the Death Note, Kiichiro Osoreda gets on as specified before he pulls out a gun, pointing it an the driver's head.

"Call Spaceland and tell them to take out all the money they earned yesterday and put it in a bag for a woman to deliver to me in two stops! If I think any funny business is going on, I'll shoot everyone on this bus!"

'Now to get our little friend to reveal his name to us.'

Light begins writing a note to Kay, saying that he's going to tackle the gunman.

"No, it's too dangerous. I'll take care of this," the man says in a low voice.

"How do I know you're not an accomplice or something?"

"What?" Kay asks in fake surprise and fear.

"I watched this documentary one time about another busjacking. There was another guy in the back who was pretending to be another passenger when really he was the shooter's accomplice. He made sure that no one tried to intervene."

'Damnit! I don't have a choice!'

"Here's my badge," he says discreetly handing it to Light.

'Raye Penber, you fool!' Light thinks, suppressing a smile before he hands it back.

"Alright, I believe you. And I won't ask why a member of the FBI is in Japan."

The rest goes exactly as Light depicted in the Death Note. Osoreda picks up the scrap of the Death Note that Light purposefully dropped before he empties his clip in an attempt to kill Ryuk.

"Stop the bus!" he yells.

He runs out the bus doors and gets hit by an oncoming car at exactly 11:45 AM.

'Just as planned.'

Raye rushes to the front of the bus to see what happened, leaving Kay and Light alone.

"That was interesting," Ryuk remarks.

"Let's go home."

The two stand up and walk off the bus. Raye talks to Light for a moment, but Kay doesn't hear them. She walks to the other side of the street and turns her back on the scene. Soon, Light catches up to her at a slight jog.

"Kay-"

"The blood just made me feel nauseous. Besides, I hardly slept last night. Don't worry about me," she said with a fake smile.

'Kay wouldn't lie to me. Anyway, I got what I wanted!'

 _Kay tried her best in everything. 100s on tests were expected of her, she was the star athlete on her soccer team, and tried to be as good of a friend as she could be to as many people as possible. She was a model student and teenager, and she knew it. And she hated it. Why couldn't she do her best without everyone staring at her? It was so tempting to just aim at being perfectly average. The only one who could talk her out of it was the one person she would ever tell about it: Light. The Yagamis never properly adopted her, but he still cared for her like he did for his little sister, Sayu._

 _They were like two halves of the moon. They enjoyed doing the same things, talking to the same people, and even wanted to do the same thing once they graduated from To-ho University together: join the police force._

 _There is only one thing that they do not agree on: the death penalty. Kay believes that either someone doesn't deserve death for what they have done or being killed would be letting them off easy. There was no in-between for her. Light, however, chose to look at it from a different standpoint. Wrong the world and you can no longer be apart of it. This caused a slight tear in their relationship that only grew when the Death Note fell into their possession. Kay hates the damn thing and wishes that Light never found it. The boy viewed it as an opportunity to make the world a better place. Only she is aware of how much their views contrast._

 _Ryuk has gathered all this information in the several weeks since he dropped the Death Note into the human world. He's also observed that Light doesn't love Kay nearly as much as she loves him. He guessed that it might have to do with the way the two noticed their parents' love. Kay's parents had been very affectionate towards each other and were together more often than apart. Light didn't grow up with exactly the same role models. His dad was at work a lot and his parents slept in different beds._

 _'Humans are quite peculiar…'_


	11. XI

Kay and Light sit side by side with their heads ducked in concentration as they fill out their exam. The only time they are pulled from their thoughts was one the exam administrator was getting onto another student for sitting weirdly.

"Time!" the teacher calls out after two hours.

The two put their pencils down and stand up, stretching, before they leave the room.

"Do you want to grab something to eat or just go home?" Light asks.

"Let's go home. I'm tired and have a killer headache."

They walk home in silence, Ryuk hovering above them.

'L Lawliet...this should be interesting!' the shinigami thinks to himself.

"How'd it go, you two?" Sayu asks when they walk through the front door.

"The usual."

"That's my big brother and sister for ya!" she says.

Light notices the hitch in Kay's breathing but doesn't comment on it.

"I'm gonna put on a kettle of tea. You want any?" Kay asks.

"Yeah," Light and Sayu say at the same time.

Light settles onto the couch and switches the tv channel from some show that has to do with Hideki Ryuga to the news.

"Hey!" Sayu protests.

"Has Dad been home today?" Light asks, ignoring her whine.

"No."

Kay walks over with three cups of steaming tea and sits next to Light.

"Thanks, Kay!" Sayu exclaims, taking her cup.

She nods in turn and slips into her own little world.

'Raye is dead along with the rest of the FBI agents that were in Japan. Naomi Misora should be dead by now, too. We've moved a lot these past few weeks...did we mess up anywhere?'

Light shifts slightly beside her and her thoughts drift to something else.

'We were careful, and yet...what do I do? What can I do? This is probably the worst timing for us...do I tell him or just take care of this quietly?'

"Kay?"

"Mm?"

"You're nodding off. Maybe you should go lie down for a bit."

Kay nods and stands up. She quickly puts her cup in the sink before heading upstairs. Not bothering to climb into her hammock, she collapses onto Light's bed and falls into a dreamless sleep. Light soon enters the room and quietly walks over to the desk, turning on the computer monitor.

"Hey, Light?" Ryuk says, crossing over to the bathroom and picking something up from behind the toilet.

"Mm?"

"What's this?" the shinigami asks, holding up the object.

Light turns around in his chair, an annoyed expression on his face that switches to surprise when he sees what Ryuk is asking about.

"Where did you get that?!" he whisper-yells, shooting to his feet.

"Kay was looking at it in the bathroom-"

Light doesn't hear the rest as his eyes drift over to Kay, still asleep on his bed.

'What the hell do I…'

Kay counted the money she had been storing away for the past two years by working at McGronalds; she needed it now. She wrote down how much she had saved along with what she gets on her bi-weekly check, putting it in her pocket alongside a list of addresses, before she sneaks out of the house.

'109,945 won't be able to get me far…'

"Follow her, Ryuk."

The shinigami follows Kira's orders and trails behind the girl, making sure that she doesn't see him.

Light has only known about Kay's little secret for one day, yet the tension between them was obvious. Neither of them admitted to each other what they know, and it was making both of them upset and frustrated.

Ryuk followed Kay to an apartment complex, but doesn't go inside. A few minutes later, he sees her along with another woman through a window a few stories up. He hovered just below the glass, and was able to hear what they were saying.

"This studio apartment is just right for your budget!"

"It's a bit small…"

"Yes, but there is plenty of storage in this unit, so it can be a cozy fit if you can stay organized!"

'Why is she looking at apartments?'

"Any discount if I'm attending To-ho University?"

"While it may not seem like much, a fifth of the rent can be negotiated off if you can continually prove that you are a student at any nearby university."

"That'll actually help a lot. I need to save as much money as I can."

'Does this have to do with that thing she had been holding? Light never told me what it was. Why isn't he looking at somewhere else to live with her?'

The shinigami flies off back to the Yagami house to report his findings.

"Should we head back downstairs to put together a contract?"

"Well, there were a few other locations that I wanted to look at, but…" Kay trails off, looking around the small studio, "Yeah, actually, let's go back to the lobby."

"Perfect! Our other tenants will be happy to welcome you into our community!"

Kay gives a weak smile and follows the woman out of the room.

Kay sneaks back into the house a few hours later and sighs in relief when she doesn't see any shoes by the door. She takes off her coat and walks up to her room, deep in thought.

'I can move out a week from Friday. How do I tell the Yagamis? They welcomed me into their home and it's going to seem like I'm ditching them the first chance I get...what do I tell Light?'

Ryuk flies in through the open balcony door and perches on Light's bed.

"Kay, hey."

"Hey, Ryuk. Where's Light?"

"Out. He wouldn't tell me where he was going, though. How about you?"

"Huh?"

"Where'd you go?"

Kay swallows hard as she glances at the closed door.

"You can't tell anyone."

"Who would I tell. The only humans who can see me are you and Light."

"Then don't tell him," she says with a frustrated sigh.

When Ryuk doesn't comment further, Kay continues.

"I'm moving out...on my own."

"Wait, then how are you and Light going to be Kira if you don't live together anymore?"

"Light's the owner of the Death Note and he is fully capable of carrying out Kira's law."

"Wait, why are you doing this? I thought you would be the one by Light's side no matter what!"

"Because…" Kay trails off, glancing around again.

"Does it have to do with that thing you were looking at in the bathroom?"

"Y-yeah, Ryuk. It does."

A tear rolls down the girl's cheek and she opens her mouth to continue. However, at that same moment, the front door opens. She quickly wipes her cheek with her sleeve before Light walks into the room. The two eye each other without saying anything as he crosses the room towards the desk. As he sits down, Kay notices that he had been holding a shopping bag.

Failing to fight her curiosity, she's the one to break the silence.

"What's in the bag?"

"Why've you been crying?" he replies, purposefully dodging her question.

"Because…"

'I want to tell him. I want to tell him so bad! But...I know that Kira is his first priority. I've fallen into second, and this would-'

"Kay, just...tell me what's been bothering you."

Light turns around his chair to look at her as a lump forms in his throat.

"I-I…"

He stands up and walks over to her, getting down on his knees beside the hammock so that he's eye-level with her. He takes her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"Say it."

"I'm...moving out," she says, deciding to not tell him at the last second, "on my own."

"What?" he asks, surprised at not getting the answer he was expecting.

"I can still write in the Death Note if you want, but I need to live by myself for awhile."

Light's expression becomes unreadable as his hands drop to his sides.

'She's really not going to tell me? Why? Is she afraid of-?'

"The studio that I've leased will be ready for me as soon as a week from Friday."

"Kay."

"I'm sorry, but I believe that this is for the best. We'll still see each other at To-ho and when Kira needs to meet up…"

"Kay."

"What?"

"I know that's not all that's been bothering you. And it seems so out of character for you to suddenly decide this."

'Does he already know?'

"What's in the bag?"

"Tell me and I'll show you."

'He already knows. He just wants to hear me say it. But how did he find out-Ryuk…Damn you, shinigami.'

"I'm…"


	12. XII

"I'm…"

'Say it!'

"I'm pregnant."

Light already knew, and yet it still felt like he had the wind knocked out of him.

 _'We're only 17...we haven't even started college yet! Not enough people have openly accepted Kira as the god of this new world! What should I do?'_

 _Light's pulled from his thoughts for a brief second as he steals a glance at Kay's hammock._

 _'Oh god, what must Kay be thinking? Families have always been a rough subject for her, and she's been going through this alone! ...Why hasn't she told me?'_

 _An idea pops into Light's head as a small smile forms on his face._

 _"Ryuk, I'm heading out for awhile."_

 _Quickly checking to make sure that a scrap of the Death Note is still in his wallet, the teen heads out. Wandering around for an almost frustrating amount of time, he finally finds the store he'd been looking for. 5 minutes later and he walks back out with a shopping bag with one object in it._

"I didn't want to tell you because I know that being Kira is really important to you and I didn't want you to have to deal with a distraction. Well, I wouldn't really call it just a distraction!" Kay rambles.

Light stands up and retrieves the bag before crossing back over to Kay, who is still mumbling. He hands her the bag and she eyes it before looking inside.

"A-a onesie?"

"I won't try to sugarcoat it and I don't want you to, either. The situation and timing sucks. But we can handle it, together."

"But, what about college? What about our responsibilities as Kira?"

"We'll figure it out. We can still carry out justice. We can still go to To-ho. We will still be the God and goddess, and our child will be the first to be born into this righteous world!"

Ryuk, who had been watching on silently, doesn't even have to look at Kay to know that Light's attempted-reassuring speech rubbed her the wrong way. Still, he felt happy. He wouldn't have to part from Kay...and her apples.

It's been a few...interesting weeks since Kay told Light. They attended the To-ho ceremony where they along with the kid who was sitting weird gave speeches. Then, the kid told them that he was L. Of course, Light and Kay had been skeptical. But then, something almost as interesting happened. A fake Kira made an appearance in the news, which pissed Light off to no end.

"Light? There's someone at the door for you!" Mrs. Yagami calls.

She had been upset but understood that they wanted to move out. However, they intentionally left out why.

Kay continued to put their things in boxes as Light left to answer the door. A minute later, she hears him come back into the room.

"Light? Did you already pack away-" she says, straightening up to look at him, and also seeing a young woman standing beside him.

"Kay, this is-"

"Misa Amane! Nice to meet you! Are you Light's other sister?"

"Um," she trails off, looking at the still-open bedroom door, "Yeah, not biologically though."

Light closes the door and sits down on his bed.

"Show her what you showed me."

"Oh! Is she…?"

Misa takes something out of her bag and shows Kay her very own Death Note. Glancing at Light for conformation, she reaches forward and touches it. Suddenly, Rem becomes visible to her.

"How did you find us?" was the first thing that slipped out.

"I was there that day. I was watching from a cafe and saw that Light didn't have a lifespan along with his name. I can see those things over people's heads with the shinigami eyes unless they are also in possession of a Death Note. Isn't that right, Rem?"

"Yes."

"I then just looked up your name and was able to match your face to it. It's kinda scary how much personal information is on the internet!"

"What are you doing here, Misa?" Light asks, clearly impatient.

"When I was younger, my parents were killed by a burglar right in front of me."

Light, Rem, and Ryuk notice the hitch in Kay's breathing while Misa continues.

"I couldn't do anything about. How could I? But then, Kira punished him! I looked up to Kira after that! And when Rem gave me my own Death Note, I-I wanted to meet you, and thank you. But now that I have…" she trails off, looking at only Light, "please let me be your girlfriend!"

Light's eyes grow wide and he steals a glance at Kay, who sits down on the desk chair, not saying anything or even looking at him.

'Misa clearly isn't right in the head. If I tell her that I'm already with Kay, she might kill her. Should I kill Misa? No, I could use her eyes to find out L's real name. Wait, what if Kay says something? No, she's not the jealous ty-'

"Misa?"

"Hm?" the young woman hums, turning to look at Kay.

Light's eyes dart back and forth between the two.

"What the hell?"

"Huh?!"

"You say that you look up to Kira and want to help him, and yet you try to form a distraction for him; not to mention that you met Light not even ten minutes ago."

"Don't you believe in love at first sight?" Misa exclaims, whipping back to face Light.

"Look, Misa, you being here has already put the three of us at risk of L finding out about us. He has already named me and Kay as his prime suspects and he's been able to deduce that the Kira on the news is a fake."

"Wow! He's good!"

"That's not the point! If we are seen together, there's a very good chance that he could capture one or all of us! Dating is out of the question."

Kay, not having consciously realised this before, furrows her eyebrows in worry. When Light glances at her, he can practically see the gears turning in her head.

'I need to get Misa out of here; she's stressing Kay out...not to mention frustrating me.'

"Light? Can I talk to you in the...bathroom?"

"Huh? Oh, sure."

The two real Kiras file out into the bathroom and and hr closes the door behind him.

"I think you should date Misa," she whispers.

"What?!"

"Keep your voice down. I've been playing out different scenarios in my head and two possibilities are the likeliest. One, we use Misa to find out L's true name…."

"What's the second one?"

"You won't like it."

"Just tell me."

"We purposefully get caught and have Misa get apprehended as the second Kira."

"Why would we want that?"

"Let me finish. Misa gets caught, then one or both of us volunteer to go into solitary confinement for awhile. In fact, it would probably be better if it was both of us. Meanwhile, Kira's killings stop for a certain amount of time before they continue. With us not knowing who has been reported on the news, they can't pin it on us when the criminals keep dying. This is the part where you really might not be on board."

When Light says nothing, she continues.

"In order for justice to keep being carried out while we're in confinement, then you're going to have to give up the Death Note."

"No."

"Stop interrupting me. We can have Ryuk or even Rem make sure to deliver it to someone else, preferably in the public eye. L has said so himself that he would like to work with us. Once he releases us from confinement, he'll probably enlist us to help catch the new Kira."

"Okay…"

"While we're investigating, our chances of being a Kira will go down in L's eyes, I'm sure of it. By the time we capture the new Kira, we may very well be cleared of suspicion, even for him."

'God, I love this woman.'

"You're very in depth with your hypotheticals."

"Just think about it. We've been in here too long."

The two exit the bathroom to find Misa a foot away from the door, looking both startled and flustered.

"What were you two doing in there?" she asks, not bothering to hide that she's peeved.

Light glances at Kay for confirmation, and, when she nods back in reassurance, he takes a deep breath and puts his hands on Misa's shoulders.

'I need to make sure that Misa doesn't see Kay as the enemy…'

"Kay was convincing me that it would be safe as long as we weren't seen together in public."


	13. XIII

Kay stood over the two graves, flowers in her hand that she had simply bought on the way to the cemetery. While the two graves had different birth dates, they shared their death one. Kay got down on her knees, being careful to not damage the flowers, in the middle of the two.

"Hey Mom...hey Dad," she said, turning her head to the corresponding graves during her brief greeting.

With the sun setting behind her, it caused her shadow to appear as if it were side-by-side with the tombstones.

"I'm sorry that I've never visited before."

Reading the names over and over felt like a stab to the heart for Kay and tears began to form in her eyes.

"I remember one time when I ran into your bedroom, crying. I had had some silly nightmare. You guys had said that you would always be there for me."

Kay stopped, as if waiting for a response or at least confirmation that it happened.

"I hope that's still true."

The teen divides the flowers and places them on top of the still-disturbed dirt.

"If you've been able to watch me from above in Heaven, I'm sure you hate me. I know I do."

Shifting her weight to the dirt as she crosses her legs in front of her, her cheeks become stained with tears.

"I'm a horrible person doing horrible things. I-" she cuts herself off as she looks around, making sure that no one alive could hear what she would say next, "I kill people. I go against my morals and beliefs time and time again as I execute criminals...some of them weren't even bad people."

Her mind flashes to one of her nightly routines, counting how many names inside the Death Note were in her handwriting.

"Taku, those 12 FBI agents, Naomi Misora! And we don't take into account wrongful convictions! We just, kill, kill, kill!" she whispers, her voice cracking on the last word.

'Why couldn't that damn notebook have just been a prank?'

"I guess if I wanted to sleep slightly better at night, I could say that Light is making me do it. But he's not. He probably thinks that I have the exact same mindset as him."

Kay's hand moves from resting at her side to in her lap, almost but not touching her lower abdomen.

"Two psychopaths for parents...how unlucky your grandchild is."

A nearby tree rustles in the wind, and Kay suddenly feels as if her parents are, in fact, listening.

"Yeah, 7 months until I'm forever bound to Light Yagami. I should never have told him. I let my emotions betray me...and I had felt so alone since I found out I was pregnant. The idea of someone, even if it was Light, being there for me...I damned my kid to the life of Kira's son or daughter.

"I had planned to never tell him. Raise the child by myself without the deadly influences of its father. But I was weak...selfish, and I can't take it back now."

Her hand moves away to wipe off a few tears that had dared to leave her eyes as a lump forms in her throat.

"I hate myself. I hate the Death Note. I hate Ryuk! I hate-!"

But she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

'I hate Light Yagami.'

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if L captured us. The killings would stop, Light and I would most likely be executed, and our baby would be able to grow up in a world without us," she whispers.

She is pulled from her thoughts when her phone goes off, shattering the barrier between her and her parents and the rest of the world.

'Doctor's appointment' the alarm read.

Kay stood up and brushed some dirt off of her leggings.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go."

She left the graveyard without allowing herself the luxury of looking back.

 _ **Warning: this next part goes into detail about the car crash that killed Kay's parents! Please do not read if such content may have negative effects with you. I, myself, have never been in a car accident, so I'm sorry if I incorrectly convey the effects or offend anyone who has or knows someone who has unfortunately gone through this kind of experience. I have no ill intentions and simply feel as if this part of the story needs to be told now.**_

 _Kay and her parents sang along to the radio as they drove down the road slick with rain. Thunderstorms had always frightened her, so her parents were trying their best to distract her on their way home._

 _"Did you have fun and Grandmama's sweetie?" her mother asked._

 _"Yeah! We worked on a puzzle and watched cartoons! She even made me chinsuko!"_

 _"That sounds like a great time, kiddo!" her dad chimes in._

 _"Yeah, but I wish you and Mommy were there."_

 _"We're sorry, Kaylen. We wish that we could've been with you, too."_

 _"How much longer until we get home?" Kay asks, rubbing her eye as she yawns._

 _"About half an hour."_

 _'That's too long!'_

 _Unable to fight off slumber, she soon falls asleep, the skies staying dark as the storm moves on._

 _"Tsubaki, dear, look," her father whispers, gesturing to the backseat as he watched his daughter sleeping with a smile still on her face from the rear view mirror._

 _With both of them distracted, they didn't see the headlights shining from around the sharp corner. Suddenly, an 18-wheeler rounds the corner, obviously hydroplaning._

 _"Yukine! Look out!"_

 _But it was too late. The two vehicles made a head-on collision and the world comes to a standstill. Kay slowly regains consciousness and looks around. All the windows are shattered with broken pieces of glass everywhere. A ringing sound doesn't fade as Kay struggles to lift her head up to look in front of her. Her parents seem to be sleeping on large pillows she didn't remember being in the car. Behind what used to be the windshield, she can see a large truck with a man sleeping on a similar-looking pillow. Suddenly, a blindingly painful headache washes over Kay and she falls unconscious once more._

 _When she wakes up again, her eyes have trouble focusing as she struggles to unclasp herself from her car seat. When she succeeds, she falls to the floor, her exposed skin meeting the shards of glass strewn about. With adrenaline dulling down the pain significantly, she brushes the glass off of her as if they were just food crumbs. As she climbs to her feet, a moan escaped her as the headache returns. She clutches the sides of her head in pain, almost falling over again._

 _"Mommy? Daddy? My head hurts!" she exclaims._

 _But her parents don't respond. Slowly, Kay raises her head to look at them. She slightly shakes her mother's shoulder as she calls out her name repeatedly._

 _"Wake up! Mom? Dad? Wake up!"_

 _But they don't wake up. Suddenly, Kay notices what appears to be red paint on her parents. Except, this time, she knew it wasn't paint. It was blood. Kay screams and falls back, knocking her car seat over._

 _"Mom! Dad! Wake up!"_

 _She opens the car door and gets out, almost falling over as she ran to the truck. She opens the driver's-side door and yanks on his arm._

 _"Mister! You need to help me! My parents are hurt!"_

 _Rain begins pouring down once more as the storm comes back. Kay screams again as thunder sounds off and she begins whimpering._

 _"Mister! Please! I'm scared!"_

 _With no response, she runs back to her car and opens her mother's door. She manages to reach around and unclasp the seatbelt. She pulls on her mother's arm and is able to see part of her face. Her eye was open with fear in it while the rest of her face looked peaceful. Kay shudders and backs away, her body beginning to tremble. Lightning flashes again and she's able to see the car clearly. She wished she had been looking away._

 _"Someone...help me?" she whimpered as her legs gave way._

 _She falls to the ground and is knocked unconscious when her head collides with the road._

 _Her body is in agony before she even opens her eyes. She can hear strangers frantically yelling at each other as a shadow passes over her. Slowly, she opens her eyes and a singular person comes into focus._

 _"She's awake! Yukio, call ahead to the hospital! We need to get this little girl into an O.R. as soon as we get there!"_

 _Another woman leans in close and talks to Kay in a steadier voice._

 _"Can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?"_

 _"Where...where are...my parents?" Kay croaks, feeling as if every muscle in her body was on fire._

 _"We're on our way to a hospital. Can you please tell me your name and how old you are?" the woman says, purposefully avoiding the question._

 _"My name? It's...Kaylen. Kaylen Suoh. I'm...3," she struggles to say._

 _"Alright. Kaylen? My name is Asuna. It's very nice to meet you!" the woman says, attempting to calm the obviously-frightened girl._


	14. XIV

"Misa should have sent in the last video today," Light explains to Kay as they walk towards the hotel where L resided for the time being.

"Something about what you told her to say has been nagging me, but I don't know what it is."

"I'm not one to make mistakes."

"When you've had time to think. Misa caught us both off guard and you had to come up with something off the top of your head. I have no doubt that it'll fool the Task Force into believing that the Kiras haven't met up yet, but L-"

"Matsuda."

Their private conversations always come to an abrupt stop as soon as they step into the lobby of whatever hotel they were told to go to. Matsuda is always waiting for them, so that the three can go up to the room together. Kay sometimes holds up the conversations that Matsuda tries to start, but even she wasn't feeling like talking today. When they reach the room, Light is actually the one to say 'Hello.' to the rest of the task force and L.

"Light-kun, you've come at a good time," L greets.

L doesn't usually acknowledge Kay's presence at first. She assumes it's because Light is higher, albeit just one space, up on his list of suspects.

"We just received a video message from the second Kira."

"Again? That was fast."

"Yes, it says this will be the final one," L explains.

The brilliant detective presses a button on a remote and the TV in front of him plays the video. The room watches in silence as realization dawns on Kay's face, which L discreetly takes note of. When the video ends, he turns his head slightly to look at her.

"Based on your expression, you came to the same conclusion as I did," he states rather than asks.

"The Kiras met," she replies quietly.

"What?" the task force and even Light ask in bewilderment.

'Kay, what are you doing?!'

"Light-kun? I would've thought that you'd come to the same conclusion.

Swallowing hard, he forces himself to appear calm and not look at Kay.

"Ryuzaki, what makes you say that?"

"This second Kira was so persistent on meeting the first Kira. What's with the sudden 180? Clearly, the two have met and Kira Number One must have told Kira Number Two to say this in order to trick the police into thinking that they haven't met."

"This is so confusing!" Matsuda complains.

"Shut up, Matsuda!"

'Why would Kay say that the Kiras met? If she were Kira, she wouldn't want me to know that. But Light's apparent inability to come to our same conclusion...Their reactions can't necessarily increase or decrease their probability of being Kira...Mogi has been specifically following and observing Light. While the two are mostly together, maybe I should have another member of the task force following Kay as well.'

Ryuzaki stares at the two as thoughts run wild in his head.

"Is that all or do you want us to stay for awhile?" Kay asks, beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"You can go. Thanks to your conclusion, I am confident that the two Kiras have met."

Light glares at Kay as the two teens leave without another word. When they step out of the lobby, she takes a deep breath as he continues walking without her. Kay looks at him in confusion for a moment before she tilts her head at him, gesturing for Ryuk to go with Light. The shinigami obeyed and followed the boy while Kay went in the opposite direction.

'Light just needs to blow off steam. I wouldn't be surprised if he was more mad at himself than me.'

The teen girl walks down the sidewalk with no destination in mind.

'So much has happened these past few weeks...I'm not sure how to handle it all.'

"Kay!"

'So much has changed…'

"Kay!" Matsuda calls again, grabbing her attention.

She turns around and looks at him with an expression that he couldn't read.

'Ryuzaki wants me to follow Kay around and keep tabs on all that she does.'

"Where's Light? I would've thought that you two were joined at the hip or something!" he jokes.

"I've been feeling a bit stressed recently. I thought I'd walk around for a bit and clear my head."

"Oh? Do you want to talk about it?"

 _"We should keep our baby a secret for as long as possible, and I don't want L or the members of the task force to know that I'm the father."_

"Maybe. Do you want to walk with me?"

"Sure!"

The two begin walking once more with Matsuda slightly behind Kay.

"You don't have to hover."

"Oh. Sorry."

They walk side-by-side for a while in silence, choosing to listen in on the sounds of Japan.

'Only Light and Ryuk know that I'm pregnant. Ryuk doesn't really understand it and Light...I don't like talking to Light about it.'

"Matsuda?"

"Yeah?"

"How good are you with keeping secrets?"

'Where's this coming from? This is the first conversation we've ever had.'

"I'd like to think so. What's up?"

"You can't even tell Soi-...the Chief or L about this."

A bead of sweat forms on Matsuda's head as millions of possibilities as to what she might tell him go through his mind.

"I promise."

"Follow me."

They round a corner and begin heading towards the outskirts of town. A few minutes later, and the two come to the gate of the cemetery.

"A...graveyard?"

"It's never locked," Kay says absentmindedly as she pushes it open before walking inside.

She leads the way as Matsuda looks around in apprehension and wonder. Kay stops suddenly and he almost bumps into her.

"What are we doing here exactly?"

"You know that I'm not really a Yagami, right?"

"Well, yeah, but what does-"

Matsuda cuts himself off as he reads the headstones that they were standing in front of.

"I've been coming here a lot lately. Not even Light knows about it."

"Why...why would you want to come here?"

"I know it sounds silly, but I talk to my parents when I come here," she explains, sitting down in front of her mother's grave.

He eyes her wearily before sitting down in front of her father's.

"The Yagamis have treated me like family since day one and have shown me only kindness and love...but, I just can't see them that way. No matter how many years have passed, my family is still right here. Referring to anyone else as family just feels like I'm insulting their memory; like I've moved on and don't miss them anymore."

"You said you've been coming here lately, but why not before?"

"It made things real and I couldn't handle it. Part of me wants to trick myself into believing that they're just away, still alive. Seeing their gravestones kinda shatters that fantasy, don't you think?" Kay asks, chuckling at the end.

Matsuda stares ahead at the names before bowing his head and smiling slightly.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Suoh."

Kay watches him from the corner of her eye, not sure how to feel about what he did. She opens her mouth to say something before her ringtone cuts her off.

'Misa' the text from Light read.

"Is something wrong? Do you need to go?"

Kay hesitates before putting her phone back in her pocket.

'Light can handle Misa for awhile. He might actually not want me around if he's planning on manipulating her to use Rem and kill L.'

"No, we can stay here if you want. It feels kind of nice to share this space with someone."

"So is this the secret you wanted me to keep?"

'Should I lie? There's something about Matsuda that makes me want to...be his friend? We only are aware of each other's existence because L brought both of us onto the Kira case…'

"Yeah. I'm afraid that if the Yagamis find out, they'll take it along with me moving out that I don't appreciate them."

"Why did you move out?"

"Why are you asking so many questions?" Kay responds, mocking Matsuda's tone while also dodging his question.

"Heh, I guess I want to get to know you a little better! I mean, we work together now, right?" he jokes awkwardly as he scratches the back of his head.

"Are you sure you want to get to know me," Kay asks, making him go still as he gazes at her in curiosity, "or are you just following orders?"

"What?"

"I'm not an idiot, Matsuda. Ryuzaki thinks that I'm Kira. It would make sense that he would enlist a task force member to follow me around; keep close tabs on me. I honestly thought his first choice would be Mogi…"

Suddenly, Kay felt like crying. She did a lot of that lately when she knew no one would see her. Matsuda gazed at her, lost in trying to figure out what to do or say. He only ever saw Kay in the hotel rooms, and she was always so reserved then. She was almost like Light's shadow, and it was a stark contrast to the teen in front of him now.

"I don't think that you're Kira," he found the words slipped out of his mouth.


	15. XV

While Light and Takada walked side-by-side to their next class, Kay trailed a few yards behind them.

'He kissed her. He kissed Misa. I know he's just doing it to manipulate her, but…and now he's walking almost-proudly with Kiyomi.'

Her eyes shifted back and forth between the two and the ground.

'He wouldn't have to be putting up this "ladies man" act if Misa had just kept to herself.'

Then, she saw him. Takada walked away as Light began talking to Ryuzaki.

'No…'

She walked up to the two men without saying hello, and instead just listened to the conversation they were already having.

"Are you sure you should be out here? I thought you were worried about being seen."

"I realized it would be fine as long as you two are not Kira since you're the only ones on the outside who know I'm L."

Kay notices Light's sharp intake of air. She had assumed that he had come to that conclusion as she had the day before.

"And so, if I'm killed during the next few days, I've told everyone on the case to assume that you two are indeed Kira."

Then, the conversation switches to college, intellect, and Takada before the three decide to get cake from the cafeteria. Light and Kay have barely turned around to follow L before…

"Light! There you are!" Misa called out, waving her hand through the air as she ran up to them.

'You've got to be kidding me!'

'Misa, you idiot!'

"Are you one of Light's friends? I'm Misa Amane; his girlfriend!" she greets as she extends a hand to Ryuzaki.

"I'm Hideki Ryuga."

"Like the celebrity! What a coincidence, right Misa?" Light says quickly, physically putting himself between the two.

Misa stares in confusion for a moment before she snaps back to her bubbly self. Kay watches from the side in silence.

'Light's face...he's thinking that he's won. Misa's seen L's name. This isn't good…'

Suddenly, Ryuga is a huge fan of Misa and compliments her March issue of some magazine as a crowd begins forming before an older woman grabs Misa's wrist.

"Misa, we need to go to the studio now! Do you want to be late again?!"

"Oh, sorry, Yoshi…"

As her manager drags Misa away, Kay notices the crazed look in Light's eyes that's accompanied by a almost-suppressed smile.

"Well then, I'll be heading to class now," Ryuzaki says.

As he walks away, Light pulls out the phone that Misa gave him.

'Goodbye, Ryuga...it was a lot of fun. I'm glad I get to kill you myself.'

He dials Misa's number and puts the phone to his ear. Both were shocked when a phone in L's pocket began ringing and he answered Light's call.

"That's not funny, Ryuga."

L hands Light Misa's phone. Then, another phone began ringing. L answered it and began agreeing with whoever was on the other end. He hangs up and turns to the two.

"Misa Amane has been apprehended on suspicion of being the second Kira."

"What?!"

"When we searched her apartment, we found multiple traces of crumbs and DNA that matched the envelopes that got sent to Sakura TV."

'Damnit!'

"We won't announce it publicly in the case that the first Kira might kill her before we can get a confession. I'm sure this is hitting you hard Light-kun."

'Is he...being sympathetic?'

L mumbles something before he leaves, but Kay doesn't hear. Her hands tremble at her sides as she struggles to ground herself.

"I'm going to go home...I don't feel so well."

She quickly walks away from Light, not letting herself see his eyes. She knew she would only see hatred. Ryuk stays with him, leaving Kay alone. She makes the short trip to the studio apartment in only 5 minutes and falls against the front door after she closes it behind her.

'Why am I so upset? Why am I panicking? Light told Misa what to say incase this ever happened...I formed an in-depth hypothetical for this scenario, yet...I'm not in control of anything!'

"Kay?" a voice on the other side of the door calls after someone knocks.

"Please...go away, Matsu!"

"Can you let me in? Please?"

The teen hesitates and wipes her cheek before she stands up and opens the door, allowing the young man inside. She heads into the kitchen and begins brewing herbal tea. Matsuda hoists himself to sit on the counter next to the pot and looks down at Kay.

"I guess Ryuzaki told you about what happened?"

"Mhm."

"Is that what you're upset about or something else?"

"Something else."

"Does it have to do with Light?"

Matsuda quickly found out that Kay opens up more if you break down what she has to answer to.

"Sort of."

"Are you jealous that Light's been spending less time with you?"

"No."

The tea pot begins steaming and she takes it off the stove, pouring some into a mug.

"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"Yes…"

She leans against a counter opposite him and begins carefully sipping the tea, her nausea slowly fading away. Matsuda gazes at her kindly, patient as ever.

"I promise that I won't tell anyone."

"I know you wouldn't, but...I'm not sure if it would help anyone if I told you."

'Light doesn't want me to tell anyone...and he's already under enough stress as it is. He doesn't need me to be adding something onto the pile...I don't want to be on the pile.'

As thoughts continue running through her head, the nausea returns despite the tea. Her eyes grow wide before she bolts towards the bathroom.

Matsuda stays where he is for a moment, frozen in shock, before he jumps up and rushes after her. He finds her on her knees in front of the toilet as she empties her stomach into the bowl. Not sure what to say, he just holds her hair back.

After a few minutes, she slowly straightens up and presses on the flusher.

"Thank you…" she mumbles.

"Are you okay?" Matsuda asks, failing to conceal the worry in his voice.

Kay stands up and walks over to the sink, filling a cup with water before washing her mouth out.

"Would you believe me if I said yes?"

"Probably not."

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

"Do you have the flu or something? Are you running a fever?"

"No, and no."

"Should you go to the doctor?"

"Already been."

"And?"

'Why do I want to tell him so bad?'

'Why do I care so much? We've only been talking for a few days…'

"I'm not sick. It should stop soon."

'As soon as I hit the second trimester…'

"Oh, that's good!"

"Mm."

The two left the bathroom and Kay sat down on the loveseat, a gift from the Yagamis when they moved to the studio. Matsuda quickly grabs the herbal tea and hands it to her.

"Thank you," she mumbles before she takes a small sip.

"Have you been sleeping enough?" he asks, noticing her tired expression.

"Probably not. I have college, a part-time job, and I help you guys with the Kira case."

'Not to mention also being Kira.'

"Maybe you should take a break from the task force for a bit? Just until you're feeling better."

"You trying to get rid of me, Matsuda?" Kay teases, smiling into her cup.

"N-no! That's not it at all! I actually quite enjoy having you around…" he exclaims except for the last sentence, which he mumbled.

However, Kay heard and the smallest blush grew on her cheeks.

"I enjoy working with you guys, too."

'Playing with fire, Kay. You're with Light. You're pregnant! You're...the one he's working to find so that I can be executed…'

"Please don't tell the others that I'm not feeling well."

"Only if you agree to take it easy."

'God, I'm talking to her like I'm her boyfriend...does Kay have a boyfriend?'

"Deal."

"Hey, Kay?"

"That is my name."

"Uh, are you, um, seeing anyone?"

Kay spits out her tea and jump up off the seat, having spilled her drink on herself.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"Ah, I'm so sorry, Kay! I'll go get you a towel!"

Matsuda runs into the kitchen to grab the dish towel.

'Hot thing is touching me. Hot thing hurts. Make the hot thing stop touching me,' Kay's brain tells her.

Matsuda rushes back towards her and finds her…

'She's in her bra!' Matsuda exclaims to himself as blood rushes to his face.

"Ah, damnit!" Kay mumbles, trying to clean herself off with the dry part of her shirt.

"Here's the-the towel."

"Thanks. Can you grab me another shirt? My dresser's the one by the window."

Matsu quickly rushes towards it and notices 3 things as he did.

'One bed? Both sides unmade?'

He opens the top drawer to find bras and panties. He goes to immediately close it before something catches his eye.

He glances at Kay, who is still drying herself off, before sticking his hand into the drawer. Not pulling it out, he gazes at a picture that looks like a really bad Polaroid.

That's when Kay looks up at him.

"Hey! What are you doing, you pervert?!" she screams, hoping that he was only looking at her undergarments.

"What is this?" Matsuda asks, pulling the sonogram out of the drawer right as Kay tackles him.

"None of your business! Give it back and get out!"

'How could I have been so careless? I'm such an idiot!' Kay screams internally.

Matsuda complies and gives it back, still lost in thought as he tries to pinpoint what the picture's supposed to be of. Then he looks over at Kay, who's sliding a clean shirt on and over…

'A bump?...'

His thoughts are interrupted by Kay pushing him towards the door.

"I could tell the chief what you did, you know? He wouldn't be happy knowing that you went through and were touching my-!"

"You're pregnant?"


	16. XVI

Kay stood stagnant, her hands still pressed against Matsuda's back.

'He's going to hate me. He wanted me to not tell anyone and I betrayed him.'

"Is Light the father?"

Her body suddenly feels like lead and she sinks to her knees. She digs her fingers into her arms as she feels like she's having a panic attack.

"You...you...you had no right!" is all she is able to stammer out before she bursts into tears.

'I'm weak. I'm vulnerable. I'm an idiot. Light doesn't deserve to have to deal with me. I'm just a useless weight on his shoulders. I'm...I'm a failure.'

She doesn't even notice as Matsuda wraps his arms around her, trying to stop her from shaking.

"This is what you wanted to tell me before...both in the kitchen and at the cemetery. You wanted to tell me, but something was stopping you," Matsuda mumbles his thoughts out loud.

"Please...don't tell Light."

'I'm pathetic.'

"Does that mean that he is the father?"

Kay pushes him away, having suddenly stopped shaking.

'Lie. Light would want me to lie.'

"No."

'Push him away. Make him hate you.'

"Actually, I don't even know who the father is. I'm quite popular with the boys, y'know."

Matsuda stares at her, conflicted in how he feels.

'Doesn't...even...know?'

'Good. Now praise Light.'

"Light, being the gentleman he is, stepped up to help me. That's just the kind of guy he is!"

"But then...why wouldn't you want me to tell him?"

"He gets stressed easily. I don't want him to worry about me. I told him that I didn't want people to know until I can't hide it anymore so that I won't have to talk about it. Can you, uh, not tell anyone?"

"Why don't you want to talk about it? I mean, if I was having a baby, I'd want everyone I love to know about it!"

"You're in your mid-twenties; I'm still a teenager. You probably will have a wife before you even have sex for the first time; I'm just a dumb kid who got knocked up because some pretty boy made me feel special."

Matsuda's eyes grow wide before he bites his lower lip, turning his face away from her.

'How could Ryuzaki ever think that she was Kira? She's so...human! Kira is a heartless killer!'

He turns back to look at her, anger and determination in his eyes. He takes Kay's cheek in his hand and pulls her closer, kissing her softly.

'No! This is wrong! Get away!'

Kay pushes Matsuda back, pain reflected on her face.

"I-I'm sorry. That was out of line and I shouldn't have pushed myself on you while you're vulnerable like this."

'I should...I should feel guilty. I swore that I would never betray Light.'

"I...I...I don't-I don't-!"

Kay grits her teeth and balls her fists.

"Get out," Light says, his voice low and sinister.

Kay and Matsuda both look up at the young man standing in the doorway, and, in that moment, she experienced true fear.

"L-l-light?!"

"I said...Get. Out."

Matsu quickly jumps to his feet and runs out the door, screaming apologies until his voice soon faded. Kay hid her trembling hands behind her back, not daring to move anything else. Light's bangs obscured his eyes, preventing her from reading his expression.

"I am your god, and you are my goddess," he says, closing the door before he gets down on his knee and places his hand over Kay's stomach, "and our child will be the first born into our new world."

"My...god."

"Mhm," Light hums, tilting her chin up so that she'll look at him.

"Our...child?"

"Of our very own."

'He forgives me? But why? I've just let him down.'

Light wraps his arms around her, pulling her up into an embrace.

'He's here, right in front of me. My heart is torn whether to push him away or pull him closer. I hate him. I know I hate him, but...I love him, too.'

"We need each other."

"We...need...each other."

"That's right. Come on. You need to rest."

'I'm so tired. My body feels like it's made of lead.'

Light scoops Kay up, who doesn't protest, and carries her over to their bed. Tucking her in, he move the hair out of her face.

"You are mine forever, Kay, and I will protect you."

The next day, Light stirs but doesn't follow Kay when she bolts out of bed to make a beeline for the bathroom.

'What an awesome way to start the day,' she thinks as she presses down on the flusher.

She rinses her mouth before leaving. She wanders into the kitchen and begins brewing some coffee for Light before herbal tea for herself.

'I at least owe him that much.'

When the drink is done, she pours it into a mug before walking carefully back towards the bed.

"Thanks," Light says, sitting up.

He takes the mug and sips it, not opening his eyes so that he can focus on his thoughts rather than his surroundings. Kay goes back into the kitchen to make her tea and start breakfast.

'I should probably leave Light alone today. With Misa in confinement, he's going to think of a way to use it to his advantage. I want to be helpful, but...no, I'd probably just be in the way. I'm not naturally smart like he is.'

With her tea brewed and bead in the toaster, Kay picks her phone up off the counter.

'I haven't really been writing in the Death Note lately, and I don't think Light is too bothered by that. It's a Saturday, so no school. Not scheduled in for a shift at McGronalds. Ryuzaki said that it would be best if we didn't come to the hotels for a while unless it was important...what the hell am I supposed to do today?'

Scrolling through her contacts, a frown forms on her face.

'I've lost touch with most of my friends since we became Kira…'

She puts her phone down as the toaster pops. She pulls two plates out of a cabinet and begins putting butter on two slices and jam on the other two. When she's done, she takes the plates over to the bed and hands one to Light.

"Strawberry jelly, just the way you like it."

She sits down on her side and begins eating quietly, staring at nothing in particular.

'I could go visit Sachiko and Sayu. I haven't seen them since we moved out. But would Light mind that? I don't think so. Yeah! I've been spending so much time around men; it'd be good to have a girls' day! Besides, all this stress can't be good…'

Kay finishes her breakfast and washes her plate and mug before quickly throwing on some loose clothes.

"I'm heading out, Light! Love you!" she calls, lingering in the doorway.

When she doesn't receive a response, she frowns slightly and closes the door. The short walk to the Yagami residence goes by in a blur and Kay finds herself hesitating by the gate. A small wave of nausea passes over her and she squeezes her eyes shut.

'It's just them. You don't have to tiptoe. You can be yourself.'

She takes a deep breath and walks up to the front door, knocking quietly knowing that Sachiko is probably in the living area.

"Kay! What a surprise! Come in!" Mrs. Yagami chirps, delighted.

"Thank you," the teen responds as she takes off her shoes.

"Sayu! Kay's here!"

The young girl runs down the stairs and nearly tackles Kay in a hug. The two,embrace for a moment before Sayu opens her eyes in confusion and looks up at her 'big sister'.

"Have you gained weight?"

"Sayu! What's gotten into you?" Sachiko exclaims.

"Heh, well, I haven't exactly been sticking to my usual diet!" Kay jokes awkwardly, hoping that the answer will suffice.

"Do you want some tea, dear?"

"Herbal, please."

The two girls sit at the table while the older woman prepares beverages, glad that she was able to change the subject.

"I made sushi last night for dinner. There's some leftovers if you're hungry."

"No thank you," Kay says politely, a bit sad inside that she had to turn it down.

"What?! But you love sushi!"

"I really shouldn't. I, uh, already ate."

Mrs. Yagami brings over the three cups and sits down opposite Kay. Suddenly, Sayu springs up out of her seat.

"I wanna show you my science project! Hold on a sec!"

The girl runs back upstairs and Kay chuckles softly. There's a moment of silence as Sachiko makes sure that Sayu won't hear.

"So," she says, pausing to sip her tea as Kay turns back to look at her, "how far along are you?"

'Play dumb.'

"What?"

"Your pregnancy; how far along are you?"

Kay throws her head back as she laughs, wiping away a fake tear.

"Hate to not be a disappointment, but I'm not pregnant."

"Please, Kay, I'm not mad. But please don't lie to me. I know the symptoms when I see them. I have been pregnant twice, myself."

"What are you talking about? What symptoms?"

"Herbal tea, the weight gain, turning down sushi, and your eyes."

"My...eyes…?"

"You have the eyes of someone who is facing a great responsibility alone. Is the father not involved?"

"No, because there is no father. I'm not pregnant."

The conversation ends at that as Sayu runs back downstairs carrying a model of the solar system, complete with stars and the correct number of moons.

The visit is short-lived as Kay leaves soon after, claiming that she just wanted to stop by and say hi before she went to the library to study.

"Come back soon, okay?" Sayu calls as she waves from the doorway.

Kay gives a small smile and returns the gesture before walking away.

'Maybe I should ask Light if I can start telling people. Two were already able to figure out anyways.'

"Great. Now I'm back to having nothing to do," she mumbles aloud, sighing softly.

'Everyone at headquarters will have their phones off, so that's a dead end. I'd rather not disturb Light. I'm stilled peeved with Ryuk for telling Light in the first place…'

Kay walks along the sidewalk, no destination in mind once again.

'Guess it's just you and me today, huh?'

She moves her hand to touch her stomach before it drops back to her side, choosing not to at the last second.

"Might as well actually go to the library. Going home early yesterday was a bad idea."

She soon arrives at the library and picks out a book about court systems. Sitting down at an empty table, she is soon lost in all the information whirling from the pages into her head. Hours pass before she is pulled out of the world of law to the sound of her own stomach growling. Her cheeks grow red in embarrassment before she quickly returns the book to its spot on the shelf. She leaves the library and begins searching for a place to eat.

'Could visit my coworkers.'

Kay makes her way towards McGronalds and is greeted with warm welcomes from those on the clock that day when she opens the door.

"Whatcha been up to today, Kay?" her manager asks.

"Not much. Slow today?"

"No, actually. The rush has just died down for a bit. Wish you had a shift today?"

"Ew, people," Kay says in fake disgust, earning a few laughs.

"Why did you become a cashier if you're antisocial?"

"Mostly for the discounts."

"Fair enough. Want something to eat?"

"Always."

Kay shot a quick text to Light, asking if he wanted her to bring anything back before she sat down at a booth in the corner. Her favorite coworker, Maka, brings over a tray of food and sits down opposite her.

"You came at the perfect time! I'm on break for the next half hour."

The two dig in and Kay listens happily as Maka gossips about almost everyone she knows and even some people she doesn't. After a few minutes, her phone goes off.

'Light: Come home.'

Kay sighs and puts her phone away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to go home. Thanks for eating with me," she says, putting some money on the table before leaving.

'Why does Light want me to come home? I told him where I was going and it wasn't even someplace he hasn't also been to...Did I do something wrong?'

The walk home goes by too fast for Kay, and she finds herself flinching when Light opens the door before she can.

"Where've you been?"

"McGronalds; I already told you."

"After you were already there. I have to know where you are."

"Why? I can take care of myself!"

Light yanks her inside and closes the door.

"I thought the same about Misa, and-"

"And Misa was an idiot!"

"And you're pregnant!"

"I've taken more care of the baby than you! You haven't helped with anything! No doctor appointments! You never hold my hair back when I get sick! You hardly even pay attention to me anymore!"

"I've been busy! I'm trying to make a safer world for us! For all three of us!"

"I never asked you to! I'm asking for you to be there for me! Okay? I need you!"

"The world needs me! I can't stop purging criminals now, and I can't believe you're asking me to!"

"How much blood must be spilled onto our hands before you realize that we are not gods, but just children playing pretend? Please, Light, the world doesn't need Kira! It needs justice!"

"I am justice!"

"You are a killer and you made one out of me, too! And I'll be damned if you do the same thing to our child!"

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying either get rid of the Death Note or me."

"Why do I have to choose? I thought you wanted to cleanse this world alongside me!"

"I want to make this world a better place for everyone; not just those we decided get to live!"

"You dare turn against me?"

"I'm turning towards my morals! We've already lost, Light! We lost our sanity, our souls!"

Light glares at Kay, pure hatred in his eyes. Ryuk senses what Light's about to do before even she does.

"You write her name down, and you will be added to my Death Note."

The two humans look at the shinigami in surprise. When they had first met Misa, Ryuk said that he wouldn't die for them like Rem would for the model.

'No, Ryuk wouldn't die. My life wouldn't be restored if he killed Light. It'd be more like an act of revenge.'

"...So," Kay asks, her voice cracking as tears begin streaming down her face, "me or the Death Note?"

"Don't make me choose."

"Why? Because you would choose to continue being Kira?"

"Yes."

Her breath hitches as her nails dig into her balled palms. Her eyes fall to the floor as her whole body begins tremoring.

"Then I guess that I've made my choice, too. Get out."

"No! Kay, I can't lose you!"

She gazes back up at him and he's taken aback by the ghostly look in her eyes.

"You already have."

"Please...don't do this."

"Prove to me that I don't have to."


	17. XVII

**My keyboard slipped.**

Kay paced back and forth in the dark, feeling restless.

'What did I do? Why did I do that? Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?'

"Kay?" Maka called out sleepily.

She hadn't wanted to sleep alone that night, so she invited Maka over.

 _"So what it's childish? We're in college and I want to have a sleepover!"_

"Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"What time is it?"

"3 something. Go back to sleep."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Try again," Maka replies, turning on the bedside lamp.

"Nothing that I want to talk about."

"Come here."

She held out her open arms and Kay returned to the bed. Maka wrapped her arms around her best friend in an embrace.

"Please tell me what's wrong. Something was bothering you at lunch, too. I care about you, Kay, and I want to help."

'She...cares…'

"You have to promise that you won't get mad."

"I promise that I won't let it affect our friendship."

"I'm pregnant."

When Maka doesn't respond, her heartbeat quickens and she pulls away to look at her.

"Please don't be mad! I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you before, but I just wasn't sure what to think myself! And I-!"

"I'm not mad."

"What?"

"I'm not really sure what I feel, but I'm not mad."

"Oh...okay…"

"How far along are you?"

"Almost four months."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know. I mean, I'm just a kid myself. I was up for adoption and I turned out okay."

"You literally have PTSD and anxiety."

"Correlation, not causation."

"But is that what you want? To put your baby up for adoption, I mean."

"I don't think it's really about what I want. If I can't provide a loving, stable home, then I have no right raising a baby."

"What does the father think?"

"He talks like we're going to raise it, but we've never discussed it outright."

"You should probably do that."

"I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. We had a big fight and I shut him out."

"Well, you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders. I know you'll make the right decision."

"Thanks, Maka."

"And hey, if you do decide to keep the baby, I'll be the best damn aunt it could possibly have!"

Both girls giggle before fatigue takes over them.

"We should probably go to sleep now. You need your rest."

"I can just sleep late if I need to. My shift is in the afternoon."

"Yeah, but I'm taking you shopping as soon as the mall opens!"

Kay groans and rolls over to turn the lamp off.

"We'll see how well that goes."

Maka soon falls asleep but Kay is left wide awake.

'What **do** I want to do? I don't really feel attached to it, but I haven't exactly allowed myself to.'

She finds herself resting her hand over her stomach.

'Life would be easier if I gave you up. You won't have me and Light as parents, and it'll be better for us too. I know your father, and he isn't going to give up being Kira. He'll resent both of us for being a distraction, and stability will be out of the question. It'd just be selfish if I kept you.'

Her eyes begin to droop as her heart saddens.

'I can't keep you. You don't deserve such a terrible life.'

She moves her hand away and pulls the covers up over her.

'I'm sorry.'

Sleep soon claims her as morning comes way too early. She awakens only a few hours later to the smell of miso soup being prepared. Her eyes shoot open as she bolts once again to the bathroom.

"My god, you really are pregnant," Maka teases, a spoon still in her hand.

"Shut up," Kay replies bitterly as she hovers over the toilet.

"Do you want me to make you something else? I don't mind."

"No. Thank you, though. I don't really have an appetite."

"Wrong answer. You need to eat."

"What are you? My mom?"

"What are you? A mom?"

At the thought of that, the rest of the contents in her stomach come up. Maka hands her a cup of water and Kay accepts it gratefully.

"Seriously, though, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll feel better after I have some herbal tea."

"I'll make it. You just think about what you want for breakfast."

"What would I do without you, Maka?" Kay asks, smiling kindly.

"Not eat, that's for sure."

"Mm."

She stands up and wanders back into the rest of the small apartment.

'Definitely not enough space to raise a baby…'

"You have the ingredients to make Nattō. Do you want that?"

"I don't know how to make it."

"I do. Your tea's almost ready, by the way."

"Why are you doing all this for me?" Kay asks, suddenly feeling a lump in her throat.

"What do you mean?"

"You're being so nice and aren't asking for anything in return. I don't understand why you would do that for me."

"Because...you're my friend? I care about you, so I do things for you when you need me."

'But I'm not worth it…'

"Here," Maka says, handing her the cup of steaming tea, "So, what store do you want to go to first?"

"Me?"

"Who else would I be asking?"

"I just-I don't really think about where I shop."

'I just go where Light takes me.'

Maka claps her hands together excitedly.

"I'll show you all my favorite places! When do you have to be at work?"

"Two o'clock."

"Perfect! That gives us almost six hours if we eat quickly!"

Kay sips her tea quietly as she watches her best friend zoom around the small kitchen.

'So much energy…' she thinks as she smiles softly.

"Ta-da! Nattō a la Maka!"

"Thanks."

The two young women eat quickly before they get dressed. As Kay's pulling on her favorite shirt, she notices the article of clothing that wasn't like anything else in the drawer.

'The onesie that Light got…'

She takes it out and looks at it for a moment before walking into the kitchen and putting it in the trash can.

"You ready, Maka?"

"Yep! Let's go!"

Kay goes to open the door and both she and Matsuda gasp in surprise.

"Kay!"

"Oh, hey...What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how everything was going," he explains before his voice drops so that only she will hear, "y'know, with you and the baby."

"Who's this? Is he the fa-?" Maka begins to ask before Kay claps her hand over her friend's mouth.

"Maka, this is Matsuda, Soichiro's co-worker! Matsuda, this is Maka, a friend of mine!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Ditto."

"Anyway, um, Light's at home! Maka and I are going shopping! Later!" Kay says, speaking quickly.

"Wait," Matsuda requests, touching her arm but not grabbing it.

"Kay, if you two want to talk for a bit, I won't mind. We'll just have to have another shopping day!"

'Not. Helping. I haven't seen Matsu since he kissed me, and...I'm not ready to talk about it.'

Maka wanders away, promising that she'll be waiting around the corner.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Can you at least look at me?"

Kay complies and her glare softens almost immediately.

"Sorry."

"No, I deserve it. I just…"

"You just?"

"I just wanted you to know that...I'm here for you, and...if you want, I can step up for the baby…"

"Touta, we both know that I can't let you throw your life away like that for something that isn't your responsibility."

"But what about Light? You're letting him!"

"Not anymore. I'm not going to…"

"You're not keeping it," he finishes, sadness taking over his whole demeanor.

"I can't deal with this right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Right...have fun shopping."

Kay nods and leaves to go after Maka, leaving Matsuda standing at her front door. Rem watched on from out of sight, processing what she overheard.

'Light Yagami, Kaylen Souh, what are you two up to?'

The shinigami takes off in flight, the former human being her destination. She would confront him and also reveal that Misa has given up her Death Note.


	18. XVIII

'Prove to her that she doesn't have to?'

Light laid down in Kay's old hammock in their old room. He was mad, livid, that Kay did this to him.

 _"I never asked you to! I'm asking for you to be there for me! Okay? I need you!"_

'How can I be there for her when she's pushed me away? She's so infuriating! Kay won't do anything I say unless she thinks that I've...something.'

His mind was torn. Part of him wanted to kill her so that he can continue cleansing the world. Another part of him hated himself for having such thoughts. He loved Kay; he really did. But she has turned against him and therefore has become a risk to his plans. He needs to get her back under control.

Ryuk watched Light from the open balcony door, daydreaming about apples. He's pulled from his thoughts when Rem lands beside him.

"Rem!"

"Huh?" Light exclaims, sitting up.

"Light Yagami...Misa...Misa has...given up her ownership of the Death Note."

'That means that she has both forgotten Ryuga's name and lost the shinigami eyes…'

Rem explains the moments leading up to Misa relinquishing her powers, Light only half-listening.

"With her memories erased, it's not impossible for Misa to be released," he thinks aloud.

"If you don't save Misa, I will kill both you and Kay."

"All right, Rem. I pretty much know what L will do next. I have an idea…but there is one problem."

"What is it?"

"I need Kay for it to work and that's not a possibility at the moment."

"Because of the baby."

'W-what? How does Rem know that Kay's pregnant? N-no, that doesn't matter now.'

"...Yes. Both of us would go into isolation as well. There would be a small pause in Kira's executions before criminals that they couldn't possibly have known about would begin dying off. But, if Kay isn't in under constant monitoring, then all of this will be in vain. She will be a suspect. Then I can't get Misa out and out of suspicion."

"I don't like you, Light Yagami. But you are smart and know how to get others to do what you want. Misa is my only priority; I don't care what you do to anyone else."

"If I can convince Kay to obey me, then my plan will go into effect tomorrow."

Light goes on to explain to the two gods of death what he plans to do. When he finishes, the three leave to go to McGronalds, Light knowing that Kay's schedule had her on the block that evening.

A few minutes later, Kay was counting the money in the cash register at the end of her shift, fighting off fatigue from her long day of shopping and working.

"Kay…"

Her head shoots up in surprise and meets Light's gaze. She glances around quickly, counting how many people were in the room.

"I need to take out the garbage…" she whispers after she looks back down, discreetly telling him where to wait for her.

A few minutes later, she crosses through the back entrance to find Light, Ryuk, and Rem waiting for her. She finds herself releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding.

'Who knew I would feel safer in the company of death gods…'

Light strides over to her and tries to kiss her. However, she leans her head back and turns her face to the side.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, her voice void of emotions.

"We need to get Misa out."

Guilt washes over her as she realises that she hadn't even thought about Misa since Friday.

'I've been so focused on myself lately…'

"And you need me…?"

"To go into confinement with me so that we can clear our names."

"No. I can't do that and you know it."

"Kay," Light says, changing the tone of his voice as he grabs Kay's wrist, "the plan won't work without you. Stop being so selfish."

She looks down so that he won't see her glare as she tries to think of what to do.

"They'll take me out as soon as they realize I'm pregnant."

"Hide it."

"I get sick every morning and need more food than other girls my age."

"Just do what I say!" Light yells.

Kay flinches and takes a step back.

"If you don't save Misa, I will kill both of you," Rem speaks up.

"...Then I guess I don't really have a choice."

The next morning, Kay woke up alone, having been jostled awake by a nightmare. Light had come back to the apartment the night before, but he was nowhere to be seen now. The shinigamis were gone as well.

'Today's the day. When Light gets back from taking care of the Death Notes, we will go to Ryuzaki's hotel and volunteer to be put in confinement.'

She drags herself out of bed and to her dresser. She pulls on some light clothing and grabs her phone before leaving the apartment.

Her walk turns into a jog as she passes people on the way to work, but she doesn't see them. It's just her and the sidewalk; just her breathing and her feet as they hit the pavement, her mind void of any thought other than the need to go faster. She runs until her legs feel as if they're about to fall off.

'I need to stop…'

Finding herself slowing down near the entrance to a park she's never been to before, she soon sits down on a wooden bench, her eyes squeezed shut as her muscles scream at her.

As she slowly regains her breath and her head stops pounding in beat with her heart, she begins to hear laughter. She opens her eyes and sees children running through a playground several yards away. Kay paid no mind to them at first, but found herself soon watching them with a small smile on her face.

'Wait,' she thinks to herself as her eyes grow wide, 'no! I can't be doing this!'

She shakes her head before standing up, walking out of the park.

'I should get home before Light has the chance to see I'm gone.'

She retraces her steps back to the studio and, happily, has to use her key to get in. She strips out of her sweaty clothes and gets into the shower, relishing in the cold water. She shampoos her hair before washing her body, purposefully avoiding her abdomen.

When she no longer has a reason to stay, she gets out and towels herself off. When everything but her hair is dry, she exits the bathroom and puts on her comfiest shirt and a pair of jeans. She wanders into the kitchen and opens the fridge.

"I forgot to go shopping…"

She closes the fridge and puts her shoes back on. She opens the door and jumps back when she sees Light and Ryuk.

"Oh, you're up," he says before he walks past her into the apartment.

"Yeah, is everything set?"

"Yes. We'll go to headquarters sometime in the afternoon. I'm going to go shower."

"Okay…" Kay trails off, not sure what she was feeling at the moment.

"Care to join me, my goddess?" Light asks, extending his hand to her.

"We should really focus on Misa for the foreseeable future."

His kind smile drops and he goes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Kay stands there for a moment in a daze before leaving.


	19. XIX

Matsuda walks Kay and Light up to L's hotel room, discreetly gazing at her.

'I hope she's okay…'

'I hope she's okay…' Kay thinks, Misa consuming her thoughts.

The three enter the room, all three of them wearing grim faces.

'Let Light do the talking. Just give visual cues that correspond with what he says.'

"Ryuzaki...as I said on the phone, we might be Kira."

Soichiro's jaw drops as horror seizes his eyes. He rushes over and puts a hand on each of their shoulders.

"It can't be! What are you saying?! Have you lost it?! Please snap out of it, you two! What's going on? Answer me!"

Neither of them look at him, instead they appear like they're going to pass out from stress and worry. Everyone else in the room stares on in shock and confusion.

"Dad...if Ryuzaki is L, then he's unquestionably the best detective in the world. If L has decided that we're Kira, then we probably are."

Mr. Yagami whips around to look at Ryuga for confirmation.

"Yes, it's true. In my mind, Light and Kay are almost definitely Kira. And thus I'll probably be questioning them soon. The two have extremely sharp insight and understand my way of thinking."

"The people that FBI agent Raye Penber was investigating before he died...people that went to Aoyama on May 22nd...and the people that Second Kira Suspect Misa approached after coming to Tokyo...it all points to us. If we were in L's position, we would conclude that we were Kira too. This means...that while we have no consciousness of it, we may be Kira. We may not be aware of it, but maybe when we go to sleep another version of one or both of us come out and does the killings."

"That did not happen."

"What do you mean, Ryuzaki?"

"There were actually about five days when we had cameras installed in your room."

'Act shocked.'

"Cameras? You went that far, Ryuzaki?"

"Yes, although there was no activity. Criminals kept dying without your knowledge. My conclusion was not that you weren't Kira, but that you made no mistakes to reveal yourselves as Kira."

"So, are we Kira, then? If I look at it objectively, it seems probable."

"We watched you for 5 days, you couldn't be Kira!" Matsuda pops in, putting his hand reassuringly on Kay's shoulder.

"No...we only had cameras in the house...we weren't watching you two 24/7," Aizawa points out.

"I don't really like where this is going but...fine. Light and Kay will be restrained and placed under confinement for an undetermined amount of time."

Matsuda's grip tightens slightly and her stomach turns.

"We're doing it right now. You will not be allowed to leave my sight before then."

'No one else on the task force knows that Kay's pregnant. I have to say something!'

Kay knew he would do that before even he did and she turns her head slightly, allowing him to see her eyes. Full of real sorrow, she silently asks him to not say anything.

Handcuffs, noise-cancelling headphones, and a blindfold are placed on them. Someone places their hand on Kay's back and she moves forward, unable to rely on her senses for direction.

'Stairs...outside...a car…'

Kay shifts discreetly and finds Light sitting next to her.

'There's no way that Ryuga will let us be in the same cell. How long will it be before I see you again?'

She shifts back so that whoever else was in the car would not be suspicious.

'Driving...it stopped...someone's pulling me out of the car…'

The hand returns to her back and pushes her forward. When the texture of the ground beneath her feet changes, she knows she is inside.

'Walking...what's in front of me? A bed.'

Kay sits down on it and her blindfold and headphones are removed; Mogi standing in front of her.

'Yeah...no Light. Is he even nearby?'

Mogi leaves without anything, slamming the cell door shut behind him. With the handcuffs still on, she shifts awkwardly back so that she can cross her legs on the bed.

'Now Light just gets rid of the notebook.'

"Kay, can you hear me?" a gargled voice asks from seemingly nowhere.

"Yes. Can you see me?"

"Yes. We can see whatever you do from wherever in the cell. There are no blind spots."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Do you feel like answering a few questions as the beginning of your interrogation?"

'Only Ryuzaki would talk like that. It's him on the other end.'

"I have nothing better to do."

'Do not reveal what is more than necessary. He will most likely stick to yes and no questions.'

"Did Light Yagami make you go along with what has happened today?"

'How did he...play dumb.'

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"Neither of us were planning on going into confinement. We were just emotionally exhausted about keeping the thoughts we already expressed to ourselves."

The voice pauses, probably consulting someone or multiple people.

"Alright. Do you believe there is a possibility that you are subconsciously Kira?"

"No. Unlike Light, I do not wish that certain people were dead. Either death is too radical of a punishment, or it would be letting someone off easy."

Silence again.

'I need to work on reducing L's suspicion of me. The longer I'm in here, the more I risk-'

"That is all for now. Thank you for your cooperation."

The cuffs pulled uncomfortably on her wrists, making her arms fall asleep.

"May I ask how Misa's doing?"

"No, you are not allowed to know about anything that goes on outside of your cell."

"Fair enough."

'I wonder how long Light will wait to relinquish his possesion of the Death Note. I hope we don't get it back.'

Pulling her legs up so that she can rest her chin on her knees, she soon falls asleep.

 ** _Kay stood in and endless room with only one fixture lighting up the room. A bassinet rested a few feet away. Hesitantly, she walks up to it and peers inside. A baby looked back up at her with brown eyes and dirty-blonde hair, swaddled in a blue blanket. She looks up as her eyes search in the darkness._**

 ** _"Hello? Does anyone know whose baby this is?"_**

 ** _"What do you mean? That's our son."_**

 ** _Kay whips around to see Light holding the blue bundle in his arms, staring down at it with a crazed look in his eyes._**

 ** _"Masayoshi is beautiful, isn't he?"_**

 ** _Kay walked up to them and looked down at the baby again. It's eyes were darker than before and was mirroring Light's expression._**

 ** _"No…"_**

 ** _"When he's old enough, we'll teach him the ways of Kira. He will cleanse the world alongside us."_**

 ** _"No!" Kay yells._**

 ** _She grabs the baby and begins running in the opposite direction, unable to see in front of her; the weight of the small human in her arms inclining her to go faster, get farther away from Light._**

 ** _She crashes into Ryuk and falls back, hitting the ground beneath her hard. She looked up and was only able to see his piercing red eyes through the darkness._**

 ** _"You humans are so interesting. I'm definitely keeping the Death Note on Earth for a long time."_**

 ** _"No!" she yells again before scrambling to her feet and running adjacently to the shinigami._**

 ** _Suddenly, she's falling. Kay screams out in fear and clutches the baby to her chest. She squeezes her eyes shut until she lands on something that feels weird but familiar on her skin. She quickly gets to her feet and sees that she's standing on an enlarged version of the Death Note. When she realizes that the baby is no longer in her hands, she looks around in a panic._**

 ** _"Where-! Where-! Where!"_**

 ** _She stops suddenly when pain ripples through her midsection. She wraps her arms around her now-big stomach and falls to her knees. Warm blood appears between her legs as her breathing heavies._**

 ** _"Help! Someone? Please!"_**

 ** _Beside her, the names of her loved ones began appearing on the pages as if an invisible hand was writing them down._**

 ** _"No!" she screamed, even the echo bloodcurdling._**

Kay woke up without a start or even a change of breathing. Nightmares were common and she had trained herself long ago to pretend even while she was unconscious.


	20. XX

It has been a week since Light and Kay went into confinement, and she hated every second of it. She hated constantly having her hands behind her back. She hated having to sleep upright because the cuffs wouldn't let her sleep on her back. She hated not knowing anything that was going on. But mostly, she hated being alone. The voice's presence was far and few between, and a single person only came by to give her food. The only contact at all that she got anymore was the occasional flutter in her stomach.

The first few days, Kay had gotten sick whenever she woke up. She passed it off as nerves and stress, and the voice had accepted that. Thankfully, it stopped when she hit the second trimester. Light wanted her to hide it so that his plan will work, and she wanted to do everything in her power to get Misa out of confinement.

'When is he going to get rid of the Death Note? The sooner the killings start up again, the sooner we can get out of here.'

There were no windows or clocks, so the only way she knew that time has actually passed was when food was delivered. Right now, she was lying on her side on the cool floor, curled up in a ball.

"Kay, are you feeling alright?" the voice asks.

"Yes," she replied, her voice raspy from lack of use.

"Do you want to answer some more questions?"

When she doesn't respond, the voice continues.

"The killings stopped as soon as you and Light Yagami went into confinement. Do you not find that suspicious?"

"Yes."

That's all she ever says anymore; 'Yes' and 'No'.

"Would you come to the same conclusion that you are, in fact, Kira?"

"Yes."

'I'm so tired…'

"So do you confess to being Kira?"

"No."

The voice doesn't come back. With her hair obscuring her face, she allowed herself to cry.

'I don't want to be here anymore! I miss Maka! I miss Matsuda! I miss Light! I want to go home!'

And, just like that, all her memories of being Kira were erased; Light had given up the Death Note. Kay inhaled sharply, but didn't react otherwise. She couldn't explain why she suddenly felt relieved, as if the biggest burden of her life had been lifted, so she kept it to herself.

No longer worried that she'll be plagued with nightmares, she fell asleep.

Kay faced the wall opposite the camera pointed at her. Unthankfully, her stomach began to grow. Except for when she had to use the bathroom and get her food, which is when she would discreetly hunch forward so that her shirt would go out, she stayed on either the bed or the floor with her legs pulled up in front of her.

'158 meals...I've been in here for almost two months.'

A grin formed on her face as she began chuckling quietly.

'How the hell have they not realized that I'm pregnant? I'm honestly surprised that Matsuda hasn't said anything!'

Her laughing gets slightly louder.

'Does it matter? Criminals stopped dying! There must be no doubt in Ryuzaki's mind that I'm Kira! I'm either going to give birth in this grimy cell or be executed first!'

Kay threw her head back and laughed loudly, relishing in the feeling of her own insanity.

"Kay, are you alright? What are you laughing about?"

'Aw, hell, Light can be mad at me all he wants. There's no point hiding it.'

Kay leans back so that she's lying on the floor, her belly exposed to the camera.

"How could I not be laughing, Ryuzaki? I'm pregnant and hopeless! It's hilarious!"

The voice goes away before coming back with urgency in its voice.

"Kay, how far along are you? Are you in any pain?"

"If I'm right about how much time has passed, then I'm almost out of my second trimester. Honestly, Ryuzaki, can you speed up the process of putting me to death? I'd rather it all end before I have to push out a watermelon!"

She began laughing again, ignoring the pain on the handcuffs digging into her flesh.

"Kay, please, this isn't like you. That's not what you really want."

She stops laughing and goes completely still, as if she were a blank canvas.

"When has it ever mattered what I want, huh? I didn't want my parents to die, but they did. I didn't want to get pregnant at all, much less as a teenager, but I did. I didn't want to be accused of being a heartless psychopath with a taste for blood, but here we are."

"People have it worse."

'That's out of character for him to say…'

"And people have it better," she replies.

The voice doesn't come back.

Three days have passed since Kay revealed her pregnancy, and her face hurt from smiling so much. At that moment, she was laughing because her shadow was ignoring her; both her shadow and the voice. Being too loud to hear the approaching footsteps, she doesn't notice Aizawa and Light standing in front of her cell until the door was open.

'Kay...what has the confinement done to you?' Light thinks to himself as sadness consumes him.

She turns around to look at her guests, the craziness dying down almost instantly when she locks eyes with…

"Light?"

Unlike with the boy, the officer helps the girl up off the floor, being careful to not hurt her. Paying no attention to him, she immediately goes to Light and the two rest their foreheads on each other.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too."

"Enough of the reunion. Come on, you two."

Light and Kay follow him down barren hallways until they stop in what looks like a garage. A car pulls up and Soichiro gets out of the driver's seat, staring at them with an unreadable expression. Aizawa opens the door to the backseat to reveal Misa on the brim of tears. They are squished in together with Light in the middle, the cuffs still on them.

"I've missed you so much, Light!"

"Misa…What's going on. Dad?"

"Dad? Oh no! I called your father a stalker!" Misa exclaims.

"Has Ryuzaki freed us of suspicion?"

"No...Right now you three are being taken to your execution. An underground facility has been set up and your executions will be carried out in secret. I volunteered to take you there."

"Execution? Dad, you can't be serious!"

A weight appears on Kay's chest, preventing her from breathing properly.

'As something I have craved for so long is staring me down, I've never been more terrified in my life. Does that make me a coward or human?'

"L has concluded that Light Yagami and Kaylen Suoh are Kira and Misa Amane is the Second Kira. Kira will be eradicated in secret."

"No way! Wait, Dad! We're not Kira!"

"Yeah, what are you thinking? They're your own children!"

"We're here," Soichiro says, stopping the car under a raised highway.

"Where is this?"

"Why did you bring us out to the middle of nowhere?"

"Oh! Are you letting us escape?"

"None of this feels right…" Kay murmurs.

"I've brought you here instead of the execution ground...Light, Kay...I'm going to kill you two here and then kill myself."

"What are you saying, Dad?!"

"Y...you can't be serious…!"

"Stop it! You're crazy! Your children are Kira, so you'll kill them and kill yourself?! If you want to die, then die by yourself! Can't you even see that if you do that you'll be no different from Kira?!" Misa exclaims, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"No...I'm different from Kira. I have the responsibility of being their father and the Police Chief," he says, turning in his seat to look at the three, pulling a gun out of his shirt.

"Stop, Dad! I swear we're not Kira!"

"Amane...Light, Kay, and I will die here, but I have no reason to kill you. The police will find this car soon. You'll be executed at the planned site."

"This isn't happening!" Kay exclaims, her voice shaky.

"Shut up!" Soichiro yells, pointing his gun at her.

Light instinctively shifts as much as he can in front of her.

"Dad, please, Kay's pregnant!"

"All the more reason to kill you now before that abomination is born!"

"Please...don't do this."

"Light, Kay, we're all murderers. We'll see each other again in hell."

Misa cries out but is muffled by the sound of the gun firing off. All three passengers stare at it in shock.

"A blank…?"

Soichiro sighs in relief and falls back into his seat.

"Forgive me, you three...this was the only way to end your confinement. "

The voice from the cell comes back, but Kay doesn't really hear it.

'It's over...it's over...I'm not going to die or be put back in isolation…'


	21. XXI

Kay lightly shook the handcuff that bound her to Ryuzaki's left wrist before looking at the chain that connects Light to his right.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Do you want to go back into confinement?"

"No! I mean...no."

"How is this going to work exactly?" Light asks, glancing at Kay every few seconds to make sure she was still there and okay.

"What do you mean?"

"Sleeping and...bathroom arrangements."

"I guess I didn't really think about that...Light and I will have to be there."

"You are a pervert!" Misa exclaims

"Yeah, Ryuzaki, why can't Kay have the same setup as Misa?" Matsuda pipes up.

L stared at the other people in the room silently, deep in thought.

"It will be more difficult to be surveilling two people at all times."

"It's fine; I don't want to be even more of a bother."

"Are we done?" Ryuzaki asks, annoyed.

A phone begins ringing, and he takes it out of his pocket.

'My phone?'

"Hello?"

The room falls silent as everyone tries to hear the call.

"Can we reschedule?"

'Who is he talking to?'

L sighs before he agrees with whoever is on the other end before hanging up. He pulls a key out and unlocks Kay's handcuff.

"Yagami-kun, please take Kay to her doctor's appointment."

Soichiro nods and places a hand on Kay's back, guiding her out of the room. When they are far enough away from the closed door, he begins talking as they walk.

"Why didn't you tell us that you were pregnant? What were you thinking?"

"I didn't want to."

"Kay! What if the baby got sick? What if you miscarried?"

"Then I would have miscarried," Kay says coldly.

"How can you say that? You're talking about your own baby!"

"I don't have to explain how I feel to you."

"It's my grandchild!"

"I'm not your daughter!" Kay exclaims, stopping, her fists balled.

Soichiro stares at her in shock before his eyes lower to the ground and the two continue walking in silence. The car ride is awkward and he sits down in a chair stiffly as she checks herself in. She sits next to him and stares ahead at the wall across from them.

"Can I...go in with you?"

Kay glances at him from the corner of her eye before nodding.

"Kaylen Suoh?"

The two stand up and follow a nurse into an examination room.

"Lie down on the bed and a doctor will be with you shortly."

She complies and eases herself down before pulling her shirt up over her bump. Soichiro busies himself with looking at a pamphlet about giving birth before a door opens.

"Hi, Kay, how have you been since you last visited us?" the doctor asks, crossing the room to stand next to a machine.

"I've been fine, thank you."

"Have you been eating enough? You're a bit too small for our liking with how far along you are."

Mr. Yagami inwardly cringes at that, thinking about how Kay had been eating one ration of food while under confinement.

"Sorry, I guess I haven't been the best at keeping track of the time of day and only ate when I felt hungry."

"Mm, I'm going to use the ultrasound equipment to check on your baby, okay?"

"Okay."

The doctor squeezes some gel onto her exposed stomach and presses the wand to her skin, moving it around the bump as he stares at a black-and-white screen.

"And here...is your baby."

Soichiro and Kay stare at the screen at the blob that somewhat actually looked like a baby. The doctor presses a button on the machine, and a fast-paced thumping sound fills the room.

"Is that-is that the heartbeat?" Soichiro asks, suppressing tears as he stared at what he considered to be absolutely beautiful.

"Yep. Do you want to know the gender of the baby?"

"No," Kay says quickly before Mr. Yagami would have a chance to respond.

"Okay, a lot of first-time parents don't want to know the gender until it's born. Do you want a photocopy of the sonogram?"

"Yes."

Kay glares at him for answering for her as the doctor wipes the gel off of her stomach. When the two are left alone in the room, she turns her head to look at him.

"Why do you want a picture?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm not keeping it."

"But-!"

"No, I'm not keeping it. I can't."

"...What does the father say?"

'What lie did I tell Matsuda?'

"I don't know who the father is."

Soichiro's jaw clenches and he looks away from her, unable to imagine that the little girl he raised could have gotten into this situation. Kay pulled her shirt down to cover her small belly and gets off the bed. He follows her out of the room and back up to the front desk. She schedules another appointment and the nurse tries to give her the sonogram. When she turns and walks away without taking it, Soichiro grabs the picture and apologizes before following Kay out to the car. He grips the steering-wheel hard on the way back to headquarters, and Kay looks out the window without seeing anything.

"Why don't you want to keep it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want to keep it."

"Then what…?"

"A single mother that's cuffed to a man because she is under suspicion of being the biggest mass-murderer in the history of recorded crime doesn't exactly make a loving home to raise a child in."

"You wouldn't be alone. Sachiko and I could help, and I'm sure Light would help, too."

'Light…'

"I'm not ready to be a parent. I no longer have a job and I'm barely out of high school."

"Then we'll adopt it!"

"Stop the car."

Soichiro complies and pulls over. Kay turns in her seat to face him, and he does the same.

"I don't want this baby anywhere near here; near the Kira case. I don't want it to even know about me, Light, Misa, and Ryuzaki."

"Is there any way that I can convince you to reconsider?"

"No. My decision is final. As soon as I deliver the baby, the adoption agency will take it to a deserving home."

He hesitates, feeling helpless and hopeless, before he turns back and pulls away from the curb.

"I don't want you to come to the rest of the appointments."

Soichiro opens his mouth to protest, but decides against it when he sees a hint of tears in her eyes.

'This is killing her to do, but she believes it's truly what is best for the baby. I need to convince her that a stable home could be found with her.'

The rest of the car ride is quiet and Kay quickly gets out as soon as they come to a stop. Soichiro chases after her all the way back up to where the rest of the task force were.

"How did it go?" Light asks, looking up immediately when he hears her enter the room.

Everyone looks at her as she stumbles over to him, almost collapsing into him.

"I-I can't do this. I'm sorry, Light."

He looks down at her in confusion as Soichiro hovers in the doorway.

"If I go to Misa's floor, can I not be cuffed to you, Ryuzaki? Just for today."

Ryuzaki stares at her with an unreadable expression before nodding and turning back to the computer in front of him. Kay wanders off and Light looks to his father for an explanation.

"Kay is dead set on giving the baby up for adoption."

The young man freezes up, a hurricane of emotions consuming him.

"Come on, L."

"What?"

"She needs us...she needs me right now."

"I think Kaylen-san wants to be alone."

"What she wants isn't always what's best for her."

Ryuzaki sighs before turning his chair to face the other men in the room, whom had been silent up to this point.

"Matsuda, can you please go comfort Kay so that Light can focus on the Kira case?"

"Y-yeah."

Matsuda leaves in the direction that Kay had gone in and takes an elevator up to Misa's floor.

"Where's Kay?" he asks upon seeing Amane laying down on the couch, reading a magazine.

"I'm pretty sure she muttered something about a shower."

He nods and goes into the nearest bathroom. Kay's clothes were on the floor as steam rose up from the running shower.

"Kay?"

"Go away!"

Without thinking or caring that he would see Kay naked, he pulls the curtain back. She was sitting directly under the showerhead with her legs pulled up as far as she could with her stomach in the way.

"Get out!"

Matsuda silently turned the water off and grabbed the nearest towel. He wraps her in it and sits down next to her, not caring that his suit was now wet. He wraps a reassuring arm around her and stares ahead.

"I'm not going anywhere, and you know it."

"...I hate you."

"That's okay."

She looks at him for a moment before she leans into him, allowing herself to cry into his shirt.


	22. XXII

Kay had her eyes closed and her head leaned back to rest on the sofa cushion. The room was silent except for Ryuzaki eating. Light held a relaxed demeanor while Misa stared at him with anticipation.

"This doesn't feel like much of a date."

"Just pretend that Kay and I aren't here."

Kay shifted uncomfortably, pressure forming on her lower back.

'Misa doesn't get it. Light's not even pretending that he has feelings for her.'

"Are you going to eat your cake?"

"Sugar is so fattening! No way!"

Ryuzaki stands up and takes the plate from Misa.

'Light and I haven't had an actual conversation since we were taken from our cells...I miss him.'

Light and Ryuzaki begin having a conversation, but Kay only registers them as background noises. She shifts again and finds Misa staring at her. When their eyes lock, the model discreetly walks over and squeezes herself onto the edge of the sofa.

"What's up?"

"You and Light are really close, right?"

"Yeah, we've been inseparable since we were three. Why?"

"It's time you and I bonded. A friend of Light is a friend of Misa!"

'Yay…'

"Define bonding before I agree to anything."

"Spending time together doing what we enjoy!"

"I'm still cuffed to-"

Kay is cut off when Light punches Ryuzaki in the face, sending him flying and Kay with him.

"Kay!"

She quickly shifts to land on her side before sliding to a stop, her head hitting the wall. She moans in pain and both Light and Misa rush to help her up.

"Kay, I'm so sorry!"

L mumbles something before he gets up by himself.

"Is everyone okay?" Aizawa asks over the intercom.

'Oh, yeah, they were watching us.'

Kay doesn't say anything and instead walks towards the door, silently saying that she was done for the day. L and Light follow behind, leaving Misa alone.

"Please say something. You're worrying me."

"Are you alright, Ryuzaki?" she asks, ignoring Light.

"Yes, but what about you? While Light-kun had punched me, you took a greater fall."

"I have a headache now, but nothing to worry about. I'm fine."

"Kay-"

"I'm disappointed in you, Light. You're amazing with words, and yet you decided that physical violence was the best way to convey how you're feeling."

"I-"

"I don't want to hear it. You've changed ever since you started following the Kira case. And you still can't fathom why I want to give our-"

She cuts herself off when she remembers that they have company, but the damage is already done. Ryuzaki stares at them, thinking, before he walks ahead up to the elevator. When the door closes behind the three and begins taking them to the floor where they sleep, he speaks up.

"Our conversation will not be heard now. Light-kun is the father of your baby," he states rather than asks as he faces Kay.

She looks over the detective's shoulder at the other man helplessly.

'What do I say?'

"Your silence confirms my suspicions, yes?"

'I can't lie my way out of this one.'

"Yes."

The rest of the ride is silent. When they reach their room, Ryuzaki leads the two to the bed and Kay crawls onto it, fatigue washing over her. The men climb onto the bed as well, but stay sitting up. Emotions consuming her, she falls into a restless sleep.

"Is she awake?" Light whispers.

"No."

"I don't want the task force to know that I'm the father."

"Why?"

"It will complicate so much."

"That's rather selfish of you, Yagami-san."

"What?"

"If I were you, I would have already proposed by now."

"Proposed?!"

Kay stirs, and Light ducks his head.

"Kay is set on adoption because the baby doesn't have a stable home. You are capable of providing that for her and your child. That is, assuming that you want to keep it."

"Of course I want to keep it. But our lives are too complicated right now."

"Is that what you truly believe or what you have conditioned yourself to think?"

Light doesn't respond, confirming Ryuzaki's assumption.

"Maybe you should start with something small. Perhaps we could send a Task Force member to buy a present for her."

"Like a wedding ring?"

"Like a baby toy."

Kay sat in front of a computer, her right arm limp at her side as it was cuffed to L. She had a word document pulled up next to a tab of publicly-released medical documents. She knew she wasn't seeing the whole picture, but she typed out what she observed anyway. There were a suspicious amount of deaths in the business world, but she wasn't able to pinpoint whether it was Kira's doing.

'What would he have to benefit from these deaths? Am I just grasping at nothing because I haven't been able to find anything?'

"Kay, here's your lunch," Matsuda says, leaning down to put the plate of food that he had prepared beside her.

"In a minute. Thank you," she replies absently, not looking away from the monitor.

"Kay, you need to eat. Your Ob-gyn is concerned with the size of the baby," Light pipes up.

"I said in a minute!" she exclaims, spinning in her chair to glare at Light.

He narrows his eyes at her and returns his attention to his work. Matsuda walks away to continue his own work, glancing up every few minutes to check on Kay.

'Ever since that day in the shower...she's been treating me like a stranger. Why would she let me in only to lock me out?'

Ryuzaki turns in his chair to face Light.

"Now," he mouths.

Light sighs and motions his father over.

"Can you bring me the thing I asked you to get?"

Soichiro nods and retrieves a wrapped box. Light takes it and stands up, hesitantly walking over to Kay. She notices him from the corner of her eye, but does not divert her attention.

"Kay?"

"What?"

"Can you look at me, please?"

Biting her tongue, she turns around to look at him. He awkwardly hands her the present, and she stares at it for a moment, wary of what it might be. She takes it and tears the wrapping off of the box, gasping when she sees what it is.

"Wh-why would you give this to me?" she asks, her voice shaky as tears form in her eyes.

Light takes one of her hands in his and bends his knees to be eye-level with her. She doesn't look away from the stuffed bunny with a yellow bow around its neck.

"You're right. We aren't a stable home for the baby; not now. But we can be. We could decorate a nursery on our floor, we can always be here, I can always be here."

Kay meets his gaze, her heart tearing apart.

"Don't say that if you don't mean it."

Aizawa, Mogi, Matsuda, and Soichiro stare on, it clicking about the reality of the situation one by one.

'Light's the father…'

"I mean it."

Her gaze falls down to her stomach, repressing the urge to cradle her ever-growing belly.

"I don't want you to say yes right now. Just, please...consider it."

'This has been killing him, too. I haven't even been thinking about how this baby is Light's as well; his child.'

"I can't deal with this right now," she says solemnly, pushing the toy back into Light's hands before turning back to her computer.

Dejectedly, he returns to his own monitor, placing the bunny upright next to it.


	23. XXIII

'I can't give up on our family.'

Light and Ryuzaki stood outside of the shower with blindfolds on. Kay hummed something quietly as she quickly scrubbed shampoo in her hair.

'She becomes downright silent if I bring up the baby, and she goes out of her way to not look at me.'

When they hear the water turn off, Ryuzaki holds up a towel.

"You're good."

The two men take off their blindfolds, and Light looks beggingly at Kay. She was two months away from her due date.

'Two months away from giving our baby away.'

She notices his stare and turns her back on him, hating both him and herself. The three exit the bathroom and walk over to a closet full of maternity clothes. Kay throws on what was closest to her before placing the towel on a hook. Ryuzaki found this to be an annoying and time-consuming routine.

'We need to be finding Kira.'

He tried to be sympathetic to their situation, he really did, but it was getting on his nerves. Extra time to sleep, extra time for bathroom breaks, extra time for doctors appointments, extra time for Kay being stubborn and distracting Light.

The trio take the elevator down to the main area where the Task Force were already working. Matsuda, upon noticing their arrival, grabs the plate of food and places it next to Kay's monitor.

"Thank you," she mumbles, sitting down stiffly.

He nods before returning to his work.

'I feel like I'm not helping enough. Except for meals, Light and Ryuzaki whisk her away if she's not feeling well or wants something. I'm sure she's itching to get out of those cuffs. She hates being a problem.'

As if on cue, Kay's leg begins bouncing rapidly.

'She's anxious about something.'

Kay turns in her chair, to look at Matsuda, confirming her suspicion that someone was watching her. He blushed slightly before ducking his head, forcing himself to focus.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Hm?"

"Look at this chart," she says, moving it to the large screen on the wall so that everyone can see it.

"What is this?"

"The one on the right represents Kira's killings based on political groups from the time he first appeared through 3 months ago. 99% of them where criminals either on the streets or already in prison."

"Okay."

"The one on the left represents the deaths from 3 months ago through last Friday. Notice anything different?"

"There's a portion of non-criminals that's far greater than the other chart."

"Exactly. There have been a large number of deaths in the business world that are far greater than what I would consider to be just coincidental. Now, the non-criminal deaths haven't been limited to heart attacks, which lead me to the hypothesis of-"

"Kira can kill in ways other than a heart attack!" Ryuzaki and Light exclaim in sinc.

"Yes. If I'm right and these deaths are because of Kira, then two things come to my mind."

She pauses and turns in her chair to face the greatest detective in the world. She holds up a finger for emphasis.

"One: Kira's death count may actually be far larger than we have been estimating."

Matsuda swallows hard as she holds up a second finger.

"Two: Kira may now be working with a large company. Perhaps a deal was struck where Kira is now basically a paid assassin."

"That doesn't seem like Kira, though."

"Mm, Light-kun makes a point. Kira most-likely believes that he is cleansing the world be eliminating those who act against what he considers to be righteous. To be killing businessmen and women seems out of character for Kira."

"True…" Kay trails off, retreating into her mind as numbers and names swirl past her.

She pulls the two charts back to her screen.

'But this feels right!'

She puts her head in her hands, and massages her temples, fighting off a never-ending headache.

'Delve into it. Kira is either working with or is a part of a large company. Which name has been rising and hasn't been hit with the Grim Reaper?'

Kay returns to the rest of the world and types furiously on the keyboard, her eyes scanning over words, searching for anything that should catch her attention. Media, newspapers, publicized business reports, funeral registries. Tiny, tiny pieces slowly coming together to form a picture of…

'Yoshiba Productions!'

She glances over at Ryuzaki, but doesn't say anything.

'I should find as much evidence as I can before I bring it up.'

Kay dives back into her research, her breakfast going cold and untouched.

'The top people in the Japan branch...bank checks...public statements...rivals...got it.'

One by one, Kay moves pictures of 9 men onto the large screen followed by the Yoshiba logo.

"These are the ones I've narrowed it down to based on my previous hypothesis. The list could be further slimed based on who has a family and who doesn't, but this is Kira we're talking about. I wouldn't put anything past him," she says, her tone turning bitter at the end.

Everyone stares up at the screen, their eyes moving from one picture to the next.

"Impressive, Kay."

"Mind you, my research could be flawed. I only pulled data from public reports and numerous news outlets with varying degrees of reliability."

"Still, it seems worth looking into. You'll make a fine detective, Suoh-kun."

Kay brushes off the compliment, and finally turns her attention to her food. Despite it being cold, she eats the entire plate happily, satisfied with her contributions.

'She works very fast. She was able to come up with nine possible suspects before I could come up with one. I know it's not jealousy I feel...admiration? She still holds a possibility of being Kira in my eyes…Does the fact that she was able to come to this conclusion so quickly mean that she is Kira and set all this up as I had originally thought?'

'Wasn't it Light that wanted to be a detective? Kay seemed dead-set on becoming a lawyer…' Soichiro thinks to himself.

Dividing the men into three groups of three, Kay establishes who should research who.

'She's so in control, so confident,' Matsuda notes, beginning to blush.

Light notices him from the corner of his eye, and he glares at the young police officer.

'I need to act, tonight!'

Kay was working well into the night; Ryuzaki and Light restless as well.

"Everything's ready," Soichiro says, trying to conceal is prideful smile.

"Mm?" Kay hums, turning away from her screen.

Light stands up and walks over, extending his hand to her. She stares at it, hesitating, before she accepts him and grabs his hand. The four walk to the elevator, Kay confused but quiet. The ride up to the roof feels awkward for her, and her heart races in anticipation.

'What is this all about?'

When the doors open, Kay gasps at the sight. Fairy lights are hung along vine walls, and, under a planted blossom tree, sits a candlelit dinner for two. She senses a weight release from her wrist and looks down as the cuff falls to the floor.

"Soichiro and I will be nearby."

Ryuzaki unlocks Light as well. The young Yagami smiles kindly before guiding her to the table. In shock, she obeys and sits down silently.

"I had Dad and Watari set this all up for us."

"What...what is all this?"

"These past few months have been hell. The confinement hurt, but our recent fighting has been killing me."

"I...feel the same way."

"I don't want to be apart from you anymore."

Light stands up and crosses over to her side of the table, getting down on one knee.

"Kaylen Suoh, please...will you marry me?"

Kay freezes up, horror consuming her face. Light gazes up at her patiently.

"I know that we haven't had a fairytale love story, but it was fate that you came to live with us. It's our destiny to be together. Please, say yes!"

"Say yes!" Soichiro whispers, watching from behind a one-way mirror.

Kay and Light continue to stare at each other in silence, worry beginning to consume Light as her face pales.

"Kay? What's wrong?"

She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. Light stands up and grabs her shoulders, trying to look her in the eye.

"It's too soon..." she mumbles weakly.

"Kay? You're scaring me. It's okay if you want to say no, but-"

"Light?" she asks, her voice higher than usual.

"Yeah?"

"My water just broke."


	24. XXIV

**MARCH MADNESS, BABY! NEW CHAPTER EVERY DAY THIS MONTH!**

* * *

"What?"

Instead of responding, Kay grit her teeth and wrapped her arms around her belly. Ryuzaki and Soichiro burst through the door.

"What's happening?!"

"I think Kay's gone into labor!"

"No! I can't be! It's too small!" Kay exclaims, able to speak again once the contraction ended.

"That's definitely amniotic fluid," L says calmly.

"Shit," she swears under her breath.

Light grabs her bent elbow, lifting her to her feet.

"Ryuzaki, we need to get her to a hospital!"

"No! It's too small! It'll die!" Kay screams hysterically.

"Kay," Light whispers soothingly into her ear, "it's time."

She looks up into her eyes, her knees buckled, fear washing over her.

"I can't do it…"

"You have to."

"Light, I'm scared..." she trails off.

Soichiro grabs her other arm, making sure she doesn't fall.

"You're not going to be alone," the chief says.

Ryuzaki stood off to the side, thinking. He pulls out his phone, and dials a number.

"Watari, meet us in the medical bay. Suoh-kun is having her baby."

"Medical bay?" Kay asks, finally realising that he's there.

"Yes. Remember that this building can house up to 60 people; it would be careless to not have an on-site medical area. It's not equipped specifically for a delivery, but we can make do."

"Hold up! My doctor is supposed to deliver the baby!"

"Watari is knowledgeable in many fields, including this situation. We should probably get you onto a bed now."

The boys move, but Kay stands stagnant.

"Kay-"

"I can't move…"

Soichiro lifts her into his arms bridal-style without hesitation. Ryuzaki holds the elevator doors open, still seeming rather unfazed. Light follows his father helplessly.

'My baby is about to be born…!'

On the ride down, Kay's hand balls into a fist, gripping onto Mr. Yagami's shirt as she squeezes her eyes shut, another contraction hitting. Light stares at Kay, pain in his eyes.

'I did this to her…'

The elevator stops moving just as the contraction passes, and the doors open to what looks like any other hospital.

"Ryuzaki! How far apart are Ms. Kay's contractions?" Watari asks, rushing up to them.

"Roughly seven minutes apart. Her water has already broken."

"We need to get her in a bed immediately."

Soichiro carries her over to the nearest bed, and places her down gently.

"Please remove her pants and underwear."

"What?!"

"I need to see how dilated she is. I can't do that through clothing," Watari explains calmly.

The chief hesitates for a moment before complying, helping Kay pull her clothes off. Her hands were shaking as tears ran freely down her face.

'I can't be doing this! This isn't happening! They aren't listening to me!'

"The baby's too small," she repeats, not completely sure if she's gone into shock.

"Mr. Yagami, there is a medical closet nearby. Please go get some towels and see if there is any epidural. Ryuzaki, hook Kay up to the monitor beside her bed. I need you to monitor her vitals."

The two men do as they are told, and Light grabs Kay's hand, a hurricane of emotions consuming him.

"Kay? I'm going to check on how far along you are, okay?"

"...Okay…"

Watari pulls on two sterilized gloves, and pushes her legs apart. He attempts to stifle his sharp intake of air as he sees the blood. Keeping his cool, he moves one hand up to measure the dilation. Panic, however, consumes him when he feels the head.

"Kay? This is going to sound scary, but I need you to go ahead and push when your next contraction hits."

Ryuzaki presses a button, turning on the monitor. Her heart rate was in the triple-digits. Soichiro runs back with a stack of towels.

"There was no epidural!"

Light wipes away a tear of his own as Kay lets out a moan.

"Ryuzaki, prepare the towels please. Kay, I need you to push now, okay?"

Returning her attention to the task at hand, she nods. When the contraction hits, she pushes, her hand squeezing Light's. He uses a small hand-towel and wipes the sweat off her forehead. When a minute passes, she collapses into the bed, breathing heavily.

"That was very good. But I need you to do that a few more times."

She sits back up and begins pushing again, too tired to stifle herself as she screams, her voice echoing off the walls. Her face is red as tears stream down her cheeks.

"You're doing amazing! Just one more push, then I can do the rest."

She falls back, her whole body shaking in agony.

"I can't! I can't do it!"

"Yes, you can! Just one more push!"

Grinding her teeth, she leans forward one more time and pushes with the remaining bits of her energy. Her screams are accompanied by the wailing of a baby. The bed catches her fall once more, as adrenaline leaves her body. Her vision blurs as Ryuzaki wraps the baby in towels, the white cloth being stained by blood.

"Is...is...?"

"Congratulations, you two. You have a bouncing baby girl."

'I...I have a daughter?' Light thinks to himself.

"Is...is she okay?"

"She's small, but she's going to be fine if we monitor her. Do you want to hold your baby?" Watari asks, holding the still-crying baby up so that Kay could see her face.

"She's going to be okay…" she mumbles, smiling.

Her eyelids grow heavy, and she releases a shaky breath.

"Kay! You did it! You-!"

Light turns to look at the love of his life, whose eyes are closed and doesn't appear to be breathing. The heart monitor goes flat and begins beeping.

"Kay?"

"Soichiro! Get Light and Baby Suoh out of here!" Ryuzaki commands.

He carefully but quickly places the baby in Light's arms, shoving him towards his father.

"Kay?" Light calls again in a daze.

"Now!"

Soichiro grips Light's shoulder, another arm helping his son cradle his granddaughter. He quickly rushes them out of the room, fear consuming him as well. Watari charges up a nearby defibrillator.

"Her body has gone into shock because of the trama! Clear!" he says, before pressing the two metal plates to her chest.

Her body jolts up, as if she were a ragdoll.

"Again!"

The machine charges, and he presses them to her chest.

"Clear!"

Again, her upper-body jumps up, but her heart doesn't beat.

"Damnit!"

He tosses the paddles aside, and begins compressions, the line on the monitor going up and down with his pressing.

"Kay! Kay!" Light screams, trying to get past his father.

The baby was on the couch, screaming and crying.

"Dad! Let me through!"

"You'll just be in the way! You can't help her!"

"But I-!"

"Someone needs you right now! In here!"

Light lets his tears fall, falling to his knees. Soichiro moved away from the door, picking up the squirming infant.

'I have a granddaughter!'

Fighting the urge to keep holding her, he holds the baby out to Light. Returning to the world, the young man shifts to have his back against the door and crosses his legs before extending his arms. Mr. Yagami places the bundle in his son's arms before sitting down next to him, hovering over Light's shoulder to keep looking at the baby. Light's mind is blank as he gazed down at his daughter in wonder.

"She's perfect. She's so small, but she's perfect."

"She sure is, my boy. Did you and Kay ever discuss a name?"

"No...I think she still wants to give her up for adoption…"

"Oh…"

The air in the room became heavy and quiet, the baby awake but no longer crying; staring up at Light.

"You have your mother's eyes, little one. Her nose, too," he says weakly, a small smile on his face as he lets out a shaky laugh.

Soichiro wraps his arm around his son, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"I already love you so much!" Light whispers, lifting the baby up before he kisses her forehead.

Someone knocks on the door, and the two men shift away from the wall, Light cradling his daughter to his chest. Ryuzaki walks into the small waiting room, his expression blank. They couldn't help but notice how much blood was on him.

"Oh my god! Kay…"

"Is stable, but asleep. There was a lot of tearing, and her heart was significantly strained. She will need to be kept under observation as well."

Light throws his head back and visibly sighs in relief.

"I need to take the baby and check on her vitals."

Light gives the baby to Ryuzaki before standing up. He almost falls over, but Soichiro notices and catches him before he does.

"Can we see her?" he asks.

"Yes."

The three leave the room, L going in a different direction than the Yagamis, whom return to where Watari and Kay are.

"She's so pale," Light accidentally say out loud.

"She's been through a lot, but she's a fighter. I had to stitch up where there was tearing, so she's going to be in pain for several weeks."

Light takes her hand, flinching but not letting go when he feels how cold she is. He crouches down and lifts her hand to his forehead.

"Thank you...thank you!" he says, his chest heaving.


	25. XXV

Light sat in a chair next to Kay's medical bed, cradling the baby in his arms.

"Your mommy needs to wake up soon," he coos.

'It's been over 12 hours since Kay gave birth, and she hasn't woken up yet…'

The baby stirs in the blanket wrapped around her, making Light smile.

'I need to figure out a name for you, little one! Even if Kay still wants to give you away after meeting you, I'll do everything I can to keep you.'

While he was already in love with his daughter, he still freaked out whenever it hit him that he was, in fact, a father. The heart monitor begins increasing, and Kay's eyes squeeze shut, her body arching up.

"Kay?" Light calls, standing up.

She lets out a moan, her eyes fluttering open and closed.

"Kay! Can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can. Now can you please stop yelling?"

Light sighs in both relief and annoyance.

"Of course that's the first thing you say after almost dying."

"Heh, you know it's going to take a lot more than to take me down."

Light eases himself onto the edge of the bed, lifting her head up to kiss her forehead, one arm wrapped around her and the other still holding the baby. Kay either doesn't notice her or is choosing to avoid bringing her up. Light picks this out quickly, and shifts his arm to hold the baby directly in front of her.

"Is that-?"

"Ours."

"She's so small."

"She's perfect."

"Light…"

"One thing at a time. How are you feeling?"

"Like Hell."

"I bet. You were so brave and strong."

Kay smiles and lifts her hand up to grab the baby's.

"I did it for her."

"Speaking of which, she still needs a name."

"Light...I don't think we should be naming her."

"Please?"

Both parents stare down at their daughter, thinking of what to call her.

"Nozomi."

"Wish and Hope?"

"Yeah…"

"It's perfect. It's perfect for her. Nozomi…" he trails off, stroking the tuft of hair already on her head.

"Has anyone come by?"

"No. Do you feel up to visitors?"

"Maybe not an entire reunion, but a few people is fine."

"Okay. I'll be right back," he says, kissing her forehead again even though he wanted to kiss her on the lips.

He gently places the baby in Kay's arms before sliding out of the bed to go catch the others up.

"Nozomi…"

Kay stares down at her daughter, pain in her eyes.

'Light's right. She is perfect. She deserves the world, and I'm going to give it to her...even though I will not be a part of it.'

She lies back down, laying the baby on her chest. She closes her eyes again, and focuses on holding her baby. Light comes back into the room with Soichiro, Ryuzaki, and Misa.

"Sorry," he whispers.

Mr. Yagami sits down on the other side of the bed, and strokes Kay's cheek. Ryuzaki grabs a pen and begins filling out the rest of the birth certificate while Misa stares awkwardly from the edge of the bed. She could sense that something was off, but was still in the dark about the extent of Kay and Light's relationship.

"Nozomi…" L mumbles.

"Yagami," Kay finishes for him, making everyone look at her in shock.

"Nozomi Yagami. I'll have Watari take this to the hospital later."

Misa's gaze shifts between Light, Kay, and the baby, unable to put it together. Kay's own eyebrows furrow, as the previous night comes back to her. She looks up at Light with a concerned and expecting expression.

"What's wrong?"

She leans forward slightly, and he ducks his head so that she can whisper into his ear.

"Did you propose to me?"

Light shoots back, his eyes wide as his cheeks turn red.

"Um, yeah...Look-"

"Yes."

His breath hitches as joy consumes him. He leans back in, gazing down at his own family.

"Wait a min-!"

Ryuzaki claps his hand over Misa's mouth, guiding her out of the room so that she doesn't ruin the atmosphere.

"I'm just as, if not more annoyed by the situation. If I can bite my tongue, so can you."

"Easy for you to say! You didn't just find out that your boyfriend has a baby! How could Light do this to me?" Misa exclaims, her voice echoing in the elevator.

L sighs and stares up at the small screen reading off what floor they were on.

"Kay was pregnant before you even met Light-kun. The situation is more so that you're the one in the way."

"No way! I love Light!"

He sighs in relief as the doors open to Misa's floor, and he lightly shoves her out.

"It's been a long night for all of us. You should get some rest. Goodnight!"

"But it's past noo-!" Misa says, getting cut off by the closing of the elevator.

Two days after Kay gave birth, she and the baby were allowed to leave the medical bay, but she was still on bed rest to allow the stitches to heal.

"Give us a chance! At least let me try to prove that we can provide for Nozomi!"

Kay had yielded to Light's pleas, and the adoption agency hadn't come by yet. She cradled her sleeping daughter in her arms as Light pushed her wheelchair towards the elevator. Through a lot of back-and-for arguing between him and L, Ryuzaki had also yielded and the handcuffs were discarded. They now had their own room that was connected to another, but Kay didn't know about that part.

When the doors opened, Soichiro was waiting for them at the opened entrance to their new home. All three smiled as Light and Kay approached. The room wasn't like her studio, lacking a kitchenette, but there was a large bed, two dressers, and a couch in front of a tv.

"Do you like it?" Light asks.

"I love it."

"Sorry about the lack of decoration, we've been focused on the other room," Soichiro explains.

"Other room?"

Light wheeled her towards a door she hadn't noticed, and Mr. Yagami pushes it open for them. Kay gasps when she sees a pink nursery filled with everything that they might need to raise a baby.

"How did…?"

"When I told Matsuda that you agreed to a trial run, he volunteered and went all out."

"He did all of this in two days?" Kay asks, beginning to tear up.

"Mhm. He says sorry, by the way, for not coming to visit."

She shifts the baby onto one arm, and wipes her cheek with the back of her hand.

"It's perfect!"

Her gaze falls upon the crib, which looks like a bed made for a princess, with the kajan signs for Nozomi's name above it.

'Can we do this?'

She looks down at the sleeping baby in her arms, and lifts her up to rest on her shoulder, as if they were hugging.

"Where's he now?"

"Downstairs, working."

Kay had almost forgotten about the Kira case, and it felt as if a weight had been dropped on her when Soichiro said that.

"Oh...right...Light, can you put Nozomi in her crib, please?"

Her fiancé nods, carefully scooping the baby up into his arms before delicately placing her in the crib.

"I should probably return downstairs as well. You take care of them, alright Light?"

"Heh, yeah Dad. Bye."

"Bye."

Kay doesn't say anything until she hears the door close.

"Can you get me a laptop and update me on what I missed?"

"Kay, you should really be taking it easy."

"I really need to bring an end to this case. I don't want to raise our daughter while Kira is still at large."

Knowing his best friend, he sighs in frustration before leaning down. He hovers in front of her face, and she's the one to lean forward and kiss him.

Sparks flew once again for them, having been separated from this form of affection for months. Light never wanted it to end, but Kay pulled back.

Repressing another sigh, he walks around her and leaves the apartment to go collect her things. She wheeled herself into the bathroom, and slowly stands up to get in the shower. Her midsection ached, especially where the tears were, but she desperately wanted to scrub away the past 48 hours.


	26. XXVI

Kay woke up to the sound of Nozomi crying and Light getting out of bed. She reached up and turned on the bedside lamp, sitting up and rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. The alarm clock told her that it was about 4 in the morning. Light returned and eased himself on her side of the bed, handing their daughter to her.

"It's not her diaper," he mumbles, exhaustion showing in his voice.

Kay cradles the infant to her chest, her shirt already pulled down. The baby latches on, and Light cups his hand around her head, smiling sleepily.

"Are you up for the day?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go start the shower," Light says, getting back up and heading into the bathroom.

"Mm."

'I've hardly been able to get any work done over the past week. I can't think clearly anymore; my brain's all fuzzy.'

When the baby is done feeding and has been burped, Kay hands her back to Light, who puts her back in her crib. When he comes back, he helps his fiancée stand up, get undressed, and into the shower. Testing the waters(pun completely intended), he gets undressed too and steps into the shower with her. There was nothing sexual to it; he just wanted to be closer to her. When she doesn't tell him to get out or tense up, he smiles. His eyes gaze up and down along her body, memorizing it as he had once before. While he still thought that she was stunning, her body had changed. Her breasts were fuller, her hips were wider, and she had stretch marks along her stomach. Her eyes were sunken in and her hair was thinner.

'The pregnancy took almost, if not a bigger, toll on her than labor.'

Of course, the after effects of giving birth were still painful for Kay. It hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, and, while she would never admit it, it hurt to use the restroom. She tired easily and was grateful for Light always being there to help her.

She stepped backwards, leaning into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Light stood still for a moment, gauging the possible effects of his actions. He closed his eyes and tilted his head up, allowing the water to run down his face.

It was relaxing, peaceful, exhilarating to have her in his life again. They had become distant for over half a year, and he relished every second of their reunion. They both took comfort in each other's presence.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?"

Kay nods and Light pours some vanilla-scented shampoo onto his hand. He massages it into her scalp, making her sigh in comfort. Her eyes remained closed as he rinses her hair, alright feeling tired again. Light notices her lean further into him, and he takes her sponge and quickly washes her body, being extremely delicate where he knew she was hurting. Without turning off the water, he helps Kay out and wraps her in a towel before picking her up bridal-style, earning a giggle. He smiles as he lays her on the couch, handing the remote to her, and grabbing the baby and a pillow. He kisses Kay on the forehead before heading back to the shower to clean himself.

'I bet she feels bad for being dependent on me. Maybe I should lax back a bit and allow her to do some things herself.'

Kay had her legs crossed, with the pillow and baby in her lap. She rocks the infant gently, making sure to not wake her up.

'I want this. I want this so bad. But, if Kira were ever to find out about us trying to find him, Nozomi May be targeted as well. I wouldn't put it past a psychopath.'

Kay reaches to pick her computer up off the side table. She shifts the baby to the cushion beside her as Light exits the bathroom, a towel around his waist.

"Light? What have you been able to find out about your three Yoshiba men?"

"While all of them have benefited from the recent deaths and have risen up in the company, it's hard to imagine that Kira would even associate with them, much less be one of them."

"What if the Kira we've been dealing with in the past isn't part of this?"

"What?" Light asks, pulling on a pair of pants.

"Those tapes from the second Kira...while we figured that it had been a scare-tactic orchestrated by the first Kira, what if they really can share their power with others?"

"Then we need to work fast, because that hypothetical would bring us up to at least 3 Kiras."

Kay tries to hide her struggle to breathe after he said that, and picks the baby back up to try to calm down.

"I don't think so. What if the powers can't be shared, but transferred?"

"Then when we catch the current Kira-"

"This'll all be over."

"And we can be a family."

They both smile as they picture their future with Nozomi.

Kay exited the elevator with her daughter in her arms and Light in tow. The task force turn their heads, smile on their faces.

"Welcome back, you two!" Aizawa exclaims.

The small family would be leaving along with Ryuzaki and Soichiro to visit the Yagami residence for the first time since before they went into confinement. As they had a few minutes to spare, she had insisted that they talk to the task force. Being cooped up in their room had made her itch to talk to the guys again. Matsuda springs up from his chair and rushes over to Kay, his eyes widening in joy when he sees the baby.

"She's beautiful!"

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?"

"Mhm," Kay hums, carefully placing Nozomi in his arms.

He smiles widely, cradling her to his chest. Light goes over to sit in front of his computer while she hovers by Matsuda. The two walked over to the couch where he typically worked and sat down. She took the baby back as he showed her the research he had been working on. While she, Light, and Ryuzaki were investigating Yoshiba, the rest of the team were following different leads.

"There's, uh, not much to show for it, but I've been going back through some old police reports from when the case was first opened, and comparing them to observations in the past few months."

"And?"

"All of us can agree that the motives for Kira appear to have changed."

"Mm."

"Kay? We need to go if we want to make it in time for lunch."

"Coming. Thanks for showing me this, Matsuda. Can you email these to me!"

"Yeah, sure, have fun!"

"Will do," she says, standing up and walking out of the room.


	27. XXVII

Light knocked on the door before Soichiro stepped past him and turned the doorknob.

"Sachiko? Sayu? I brought some guests!"

'I can do this. I can do this,' Kay coaches herself, clutching the baby tighter to her chest.

She takes a deep breath and crosses into the house that was once her home. Ryuzaki closes the door behind her and hovers close by.

'I can't do this. I can't do this.'

Light senses her hesitation and wraps his arm around her. Mrs. Yagami exits her bedroom, joy on her face.

"It's so good to see you all again! You have to visit more often, Light and-!"

She had been hugging the Yagami men, but froze when she got to Kay, noticing what she was holding for the first time. Kay froze too, her throat closing up and the room suddenly becoming very hot. Sachiko stared at the infant in confusion before realization dawns on her face.

"Is this-?"

"Our baby," Light finishes, establishing his involvement directly.

His mom gazed at him before switching to Kay, then to the baby, then back to him.

"Mom?" he questions when he sees tears well up in her eyes.

"What's her name?"

"Nozomi," Kay answers, finally finding her voice.

She gasps when she finds herself wrapped in a hug. The baby wakes up, fussy but not crying.

"It's nice to meet you!" Sachiko says, bending down slightly to be eye-level with her granddaughter.

Kay sighs in relief, a smile spreading on her face. When Mrs. Yagami picks the baby up to hold her, Light slides his hand into his fiancée's, giving her a steady, reassuring squeeze.

"Where's Sayu, darling?"

"Out with friends. She should be back soon! Sit down! I'll make some tea!"

The four comply, and Kay takes Nozomi back.

"I told you she wouldn't be mad. Relax, this is your family, too," Light whispers into her ear.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You looked like a deer caught in headlights."

"Oh, please. You were as stiff as a board until you saw her smile!"

The two laugh at their own awkwardness as Soichiro gazed at them with joy.

"Have you two made any plans for your wedding?"

Kay immediately stops laughing, and Light wraps his arm around her, making sure she knew he was still there.

'Her anxiety has gotten worse…'

"I-we, well...um-!"

"Not yet, Dad. We've been a bit busy with this little one," he cuts in, holding his finger out for his daughter to grab.

As Sachiko sets the tea tray down on the table in front of the couch, the baby begins fussing.

"Sorry," Kay mumbles, standing up.

"I'll help."

Mrs. Yagami follows Kay upstairs into the baren bedroom, only the hammock remaining. When she closes the door, Kay stops bouncing the infant, who has already quieted down.

"What's wrong, dear?"

The young mother hesitates before turning around, allowing Sachiko to see the tears in her eyes. As if by instinct, she envelopes her in a hug, patting her head soothingly.

"Ssh. Ssh. Everything's okay."

"I can't handle it."

"Handle what?"

"Everything! It's too much! I don't know how to raise a baby! I don't know how to plan a wedding! I don't know how to deal with it!"

"I was the same way."

"What?" Kay asks, looking up at her mother-figure.

"While I didn't have to juggle all of this at once, it wasn't smooth-sailing. I was stressed planning my wedding. I was stressed raising Light. I still worry that I'm not doing enough for Sayu! The worry shows that you care; talking about it reveals that you want some help."

"Really?"

"Mhm. You're so young, but so brave. I love you, you know?"

"I love you, too."

Neither women had realised before then that Kay had never said that before, not directly. Guilt momentarily washes over her as she repositions the baby to rest on her hip.

"I…"

"How about this: Sayu and I will help plan your wedding, and you focus on giving my granddaughter the best parenting that you can?"

"...Okay."

"Is there anything else stressing you out?"

"No," she lied.

The older woman nodded, smiling, before the two exit the room and head back downstairs. Before she reaches the bottom step, Kay can hear Sayu talking to Ryuzaki. Light turns around on the couch, and smiles when he sees her.

"Sayu," he addresses, "there's someone I'd like you to meet."

The teen looks over at what her brother is gazing at, and gasps before jumping up. L's sigh is muffled as she runs over to see the baby.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were having a baby, Kay? She's so cute!"

"Yeah...sorry about that," she replies, avoiding the question.

"Can I hold her?"

"Wash your hands first, dear," Sachiko pipes up.

"Okay!"

Soichiro decided to stay for a while longer, while Kay, Light, and Ryuzaki decided to return to headquarters. While she hadn't said anything, the young man knew that she was getting tired again.

'She hardly sleeps anymore…'

On the walk back, Light cradled Nozomi in one arm, and Kay held the other, her eyes closed with a small smile. Ryuzaki walked a few paces behind them, looking rather bored.

"I want it to be soon."

"What?"

"The wedding; I want it to be soon."

"Okay," Light says, kissing the top of his fiancée's head.

"Just family."

"Agreed."

"Can it be in the backyard? We played there a lot when we were kids."

"Heh, yeah, a lot of good memories."

"Remember when we spent an entire afternoon just laying down in the grass and watching the clouds."

"I just became relaxed again just by thinking about it."

"Mm."

They fall silent, both thinking about the times they shared.

'I hope our baby can make such memories when she's older.'

"Ryuzaki?" Kay calls.

"Mm?" the detective hums, stepping up to walk alongside them.

"Thanks...for today. I know you would have rather been working on the Kira case thn observing a small family reunion."

"Yes, well, it was interesting to see you all interact with each other; years of trust and love were worn proudly."

The rest of the journey is quiet, Kay mulling over what he had said.

'Yeah, what he saw today was a family.'

She looks up at Light, who is gazing ahead with a relaxed expression, the wind moving through his hair.

'Can we become that?'

She glances over at their baby, smiling when she sees that Nozomi is looking at everything around her in wonder.

'We need to take her out more; even if it's just on the rooftops of Headquarters.'

Kay made a mental note to ask Ryuzaki to install cameras on the rooftops so that he doesn't have to leave his work every time she wanted to take her daughter outside.

'I don't want her to live here her whole life,' she thought as they entered the building, smiling as Aizawa, Matsuda, and Mogi greet them.

"How's Misa?"

"Same as before."

'Ever since she found out about me and Light, she doesn't ask to leave her floor or much of anything for that matter. I know she hates me. I know she hates Nozomi. I know she thinks she's in love with Light. And yet...I don't want her to continue being upset.'


	28. XXVIII

Matsuda had Nozomi in his lap as Kay and Light worked at their computers. He was beyond happy for them, yes, and he wants to help in any way he can.

'But…'

He turns back to look at her, anger and determination in his eyes. He takes Kay's cheek in his hand and pulls her closer, kissing her softly.

Blood began rising to his cheeks again as he thought about that day that felt happened years ago. But it wasn't years ago; it was 4 months ago.

'And now she's engaged to the father of her infant.'

He had watched her through the camera during her confinement. He watched in worry and agony. Every nerve in his body had been telling him to save her, but he would just grit his teeth and plant his feet where they were.

He looks down at the baby, who is laughing at the toy he was holding.

'She looks so much like her mother…'

Matsuda knew that Kay loved Light. Matsuda knew that she wanted their little family to be complete, and he would just get in the way of that.

When he was told that Kay was considering keeping her baby, he immediately volunteered to assemble a nursery. He felt guilty for how he felt and wanted to make it up to her and Light. When he heard that they had a little girl, he both wanted to cheer and cry. But he did neither. He went to the store and used one of Ryuzaki's debit cards to buy everything he thought a baby might need or want. He paid extra to have everything delivered that day, and began assembling furniture as soon as the truck had unloaded everything. He painted the walls, he folded the clothes, he arranged the stuffed animals and stocked the changing table with diapers. As a final touch, he went back out and bought two meter-by-meter boards of wood, and sawed them himself to form the kajans for the baby's name: Wish and Hope. Once they were carved to his satisfaction, he painted the letters a slightly darker shade than the walls and hung them up over the crib. After two days of endless working, he returned to his room and fell asleep. He felt bad for not being there when Kay saw the nursery, but hoped that she would like it anyway.

When Nozomi started fussing, he grabbed the bottle of milk off the table and tilted it down as he rocked the baby. He stared down lovingly as if he were feeding his own daughter.

'But I'm not. She is my colleague's kid and that's all I am to her.'

When the bottle was empty, he lifted the baby up to rest on his chest and began patting her back.

'I need to focus on what I do have; which is a job as an investigator out to find Kira and put an end to his genocidal reign.'

Misa gazed out the window at the outside world, the setting sun shining on her as if it were a spotlight.

'Light kissed me. I know he has feelings for me! I can't let him marry some other girl that can't possibly love him as much as I do simply because she's the mother of his baby! But what do I do? Wherever he is, she is. I have to get him alone!'

She stepped away from the window, openly stripping as she made her way to the bathroom.

'I know there are cameras. Do you like what you see, Light?'

She turned on the steamy water and stepped into the shower.

'She has him wrapped around her little finger! Would he comply if I asked him to come up here?'

Wanting to test her theory as soon as possible, she quickly cleaned up and turned the water off.

'He won't come if I'm in a towel…'

Begrudgingly, Misa puts on some loose pyjamas before picking up the phone.

"Ryuga? Can you send Light up here, please? I need to talk to him."

"Light-kun is working. What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to Light!"

She hears him sigh on the other end before a muffled voice says something. Another voice that she would recognize as Light immediately says something back before Ryuga removes his hand from covering the phone.

"Well?"

"He'll be up in 10 minutes."

"Thank you!" Misa exclaims before hanging up.

Skipping around happily, she strolls over to a mirror and checks herself out. Striking different poses and smiling, she knew Light wouldn't be able to resist her! When she hears a knock at the door, she stifled a scream of excitement and practically runs over to greet whoever was at the door.

"Misa? Can I come in?"

"Of course, Light! You don't have to knock!" she calls out flirtatiously.

He hesitates before opening the door to see Misa sitting on the edge of a couch, one leg propped up on her other knee, making her panties visible. Light slaps both hands over his eyes, embarrassment washing over him.

"Misa!"

"What? Do you not like what you see?"

"No! I don't!"

Her smile drops, and she gracefully leaps off the couch towards him. She places her hands over his, pulling them back to reveal the eyes that she could stare into for eternity. While he held a neutral expression, he was freaking out internally.

'What. Do. I. Do?'

She stood on her toes to get closer to his face, and he backs up, walking into the closed door.

"Misa, I-!"

"Don't you remember when you kissed me? When you called me darling? When I gave you a phone that was just for contacting me?"

'Please, God, don't let Kay be hearing this.'

'I do remember, but my memories of Misa are so foggy that I can't for the life of me remember why I did done those things.'

Taking a deep breath, he plants his hands firmly on her shoulders, pushing her back.

"There is nothing between us, Misa. I hardly know you, and-"

"Don't you believe in love at first sight?!"

'She's asked that before...but when?'

"No, I don't. Lust is one thing, but love has to be built on many feelings and memories over time."

'He has such a way with words!'

"But-!"

"Is this the only reason you called me up here?" he asks tiredly.

"I-"

"I'm trying to solve the Kira case, which you have incriminating evidence of being the Second Kira, mind you."

"I'm not Kira! Do you really think I'm a murderer, Light?" she exclaims, her voice dying down on his name.

"I think the evidence found in your old apartment is hard to explain away."

They both found their anger and frustration rising, and Light found his hand searching blindly for the door handle.

"I think I should go."

"Light-!"

The door does not slam shut, and yet Misa finds herself shrinking down anyway, as if her life support had been ripped away from her.

Light entered the elevator with his gaze trained on his feet.

'Keep your cool. Keep your cool.'

When the doors opened to the main lobby, he feels relieved when he sees Kay smiling and playing with their daughter. However, when he turned his head, he saw Matsuda glaring at him from the corner of his eye.

'What the hell is going on?'

He walks over and crouches down next to his fiancée and Nozomi, smiling.

"Hey."

"Hey," she responds, not really paying attention to him.

'Did she hear what Misa said?'

"How are you?"

"Good. How's your darling?"


	29. XXIX

Soichiro and Matsuda silently glare at Light while Kay goes back to playing with Nozomi. He was frozen in his spot, his mind baren of any thought. Kay, on the other hand, had a tsunami of emotions flowing through her.

She felt betrayed, she felt angry, she felt sad, but mostly, she felt like she had been punched in the gut.

"Kay?" Light falls out, his voice weak.

"Yes?" she replied, her voice calm and steady.

"I...I don't-"

"Have an excuse for kissing some hot stranger while I was pregnant with your child? You don't know how you could have possibly hurt me like this and have the audacity to say that you love me?"

Her words stung, and that was completely her intention. She was enraged, but she would not hurt him back or even raise her voice in front of her colleagues and baby.

"Kay, I'm sorry!"

"You're sorry that you got caught. You have shown no signs of remorse until now. And here I thought you were a genius; when, in actuality, you don't even knowing the meaning of the concept of fidelity."

'Her voice is so calm for such hateful words,' Aizawa thought to himself.

"Kay-"

"Don't you think you've embarrassed me enough? Run back upstairs to your darling. We're done here."

"Kay," Light starts again, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She turns her head to look at where he was touching her before she stared up at him with a ghostly look.

"Please remove your hand...and leave," she says, her voice shaking as tears begin rolling down her cheeks.

Matsuda stands up and walks over, standing between the two. He glared at Light as he balled his fists. Kay turns her head away, resuming playing with her daughter, the only sign that time had passed was her changed expression. Light gazed at her as sadness and regret swallowed him whole. Matsuda took one step forward, and he got the message. Regretfully, he returns to the elevator, waiting until the doors closed before he slid down to the floor and dry-heaved, his hand sliding into his hair as his face turned red.

Matsuda turned around and crouched behind Kay, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his embrace. His heart aches for her, despising Light for making her feel this way when she was already in a delicate state. Her hand moved up, closing on his arm in a grip that told him to not pull away.

"Call the adoption agency."

"Kay…"

"The trial is over. Nozomi is one month old."

"Please...you shouldn't be making drastic decisions right now."

"This is not the home, the family, she deserves. I want to give her the best chance at a happy life, and Light and I are not part of it."

"Don't do this. You love her!"

"I'm doing this because I love her!" she exclaims, leaning away as she turns to glare at him.

She cradled the baby to her chest before standing up.

"I'm done for today, Ryuzaki. I'll work longer tomorrow to make up for it."

The detective watches silently from the corner of his eyes without turning away from his monitor as she enters the elevator and presses the button for her floor. When the doors open, she stumbles out into the hallway before walking up to the door to her apartment. Not needing a key, she opens the door and walks in, not bothering to turn on the lights. She walks into the nursery and delicately lays Nozomi in her crib, leaning down to kiss her baby's forehead.

"I love you," she mumbles before she leaves the room.

She enters the bathroom and flips the switch, her eyes darting to the mirror. She gazed at her reflection for a moment before her face scrunches up and her hands ball into fists. Shaking with rage, she screams out before punching the mirror with as much force as she could muster, shattering the glass. Dopamine rushing through her brain and numbing her, she stares down blankly at her bloody hand, blood spilling from the multiple cuts from the shards. She carelessly strips before stepping into the shower, wincing slightly as the hot water collides with her skin. She gazed at the drain as red swirls with clear before disappearing through the small holes. Her body was numb. Her mind was numb. Her heart was numb.

Light had his crossed arms resting on the railing surrounding the perimeter of the room, staring up at the starry night sky.

"How can I fix this?" he asks the Heavens.

'She won't take "I have no memories as to why I kissed Misa"! I wouldn't be too happy if I got that answer!'

He is pulled from his thoughts when his phone goes off.

"Kay's going to call the adoption agency in the morning. You have one night to fix this. -Matsuda," he reads aloud.

His feet begin moving without his commandment, and he finds himself running down the stairwell, not waiting for the elevator.

'I have to fix this, now! Think, Light, think! What do I say?'

He slams his body against the door to his floor, and sprints down the hallway to his room.

'I can't lose them!'

He whips the door open, his eyes scanning the dark room. He hears water running, and dashes towards the bathroom.

His world shatters when he sees Kay slumped over, unconscious, with blood pouring out of her hand. His eyes dart over and see the shattered mirror.

"Damnit, Kay!"

He grabs a towel and wraps it around her before scooping her up into his arms. He carries her over to their bed and cradles her close to his chest. He puts two fingers under her neck, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding when he feels a pulse.

"You've exhausted yourself," he coos.

He lifts her hand up to examine the little cuts along her skin.

"You shattered the mirror as I had your heart."

He lays her hand down over her lap, and holds her tighter, even closer. Unbeknownst to him, Kay began slowly regaining consciousness.

"I'm so sorry, Kay! I just keep hurting you! You've been caring for three people these past several months, and I was just focused on myself! I was selfish and an idiot and I'm sorry!"

He buries his face in her wet hair and begins sobbing.

"Please...don't take our family away! I love you and our little girl with all of my heart! I can be a good dad! I can be a good husband! As long as I live, I swear that I will never hurt you again!"

He slides his free hand to rest under her's, avoiding the cuts. He gasps and moves his head to look at Kay's face when he feels her squeeze his hand. She doesn't open her eyes, and falls back asleep, what little energy she had used up already.

He gently stands up before laying her back on the bed. He returns to the bathroom, stepping over the pieces of the broken mirror on the floor, and opens a cabinet and grabs a med kit. He walks back up to her side and turns on a lamp before sitting down. He takes her hand and uses tweezers to remove the specks of glass before he cleans and wraps bandages around her knuckles through her wrist.

He stands back up and pushes her hair away from her face before kissing her forehead. He returns the medkit to the bathroom before turning the lights off. He tip-toes into the nursery and scoops up his sleeping daughter.

He cradles her in his arms as he walks back to the bed. He lays her down next to Kay before sliding under the covers. He gazed at his family for a moment, smiling softly, before falling asleep.


	30. XXX

**Wow. 30 chapters. Six months. I'm not sure what to say here. Do I thank you all for your support during this trainwreck of a story? Do I call out Hanz specifically for commenting so much, providing me motivation to keep writing? Do I promise thag the story is far from over?Is there even something that I have to say? Should I tell the truth? The truth is that I hate this story. I hate the direction it has gone in. I hate the stress of writing chapters that I'm satisfied with consistently while also juggling High School and extracurriculars that keep me b usyu ntil7 o'clock at night. I hate when I feel down andbdoubt myself and my abilities. But everytime I get a notification that someone has commented or followed or favorited this story, all those negative feelings vanish, at least for a second. Because, in that moment, all of it becomes worth it. Thank you, all of you, for keeping me doing whar I'm doing.**

* * *

Kay woke up to Nozomi babbling in her face, making her smile. She scoops her up into her arms, and, as her eyes adjust to the darkness, she sees Light still asleep next to her. Slowly, memories of the previous day resurface, and emotions soon follow. Realizing she's still in a towel, she quickly puts on some clothes and runs her fingers through her hair before picking her daughter back up. Quietly, she leaves the room and heads towards the elevator.

"I can't believe you're already a month old, little one!" she coos as she descends to the main lobby.

When the doors open, she sees that Ryuzaki and Matsuda are already working.

"Good morning."

Matsuda turns, standing up to greet Kay.

"Good morning! How are you feeling?"

She walks over and sits down next to him.

"Like I slept on a rock," she says before chuckling.

"What happened to your hand?"

"I don't want to talk about it. How are you?"

"I'm good."

'Should I ask about Light?'

"Kay-san, do you want to call the adoption agency now?" L asks, not turning away from the strawberry cake in front of him.

A gasp gets caught in her throat, and she gazes down at the infant squirming slightly in her arms.

"I…"

'He didn't convince her…'

"Kay?" Matsuda begins, putting his hand over hers.

She turns her head to look at him, anticipation in her eyes.

"Yeah?"

'Say it! Just say it!'

"I can...if you want…"

The elevator opens again, and Light rushes out, looking like he saw a ghost. When he sees Kay and Nozomi, he sighs in relief before walking over. She tenses up as he sits next to her, and both him and Matsuda notice. Light scooches slightly farther away, and his stare falls to the ground. Kay hesitates before returning her attention to the ex-police officer.

"What were you saying?"

Glancing at Light, he loses his confidence, and shakes his head, smiling.

"It's nothing."

She gazes at him before accepting his answer and looking at her baby.

"Light?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard what you said last night."

"O-oh?"

"I know my emotions are all over the place right now, and the exhaustion isn't helping."

He waits patiently as she mulls over what she's trying to say.

"Let's get married, tonight, in the backyard of the house."

"Okay!"

"Just your family and Matsuda and Ryuzaki as witnesses; I don't care who officiates it."

"Of course."

'Her tone is bitter for someone planning her wedding.'

"I'll call Mom and Sayu and tell them the news," Light says, springing up and returning to the elevator.

"Light?"

He skids to a stop before he reaches the doors.

"Don't make me regret this."

* * *

Kay stood in front of a full-length mirror, gazing at her complection.

"It's a perfect fit."

"You look wonderful!" Sachiko exclaims, not letting herself cry.

Sayu nods and uses her free hand to rub her eye, her other one holding Nozomi.

"It feels a bit silly, though."

"You never were one for dresses, dear."

She takes a deep breath before turning around. The two Yagamis and even the baby were wearing light blue dresses.

"Sure you can handle baby-duty, Maid of Honor?"

"I can do it!" Sayu exclaims, trying to conceal her excitement over Kay choosing her.

Someone knocks on the door to the bedroom before stepping inside.

"How's the lovely bride-to-be?" Soichiro asks as he adjusts his bowtie.

"Nervous!" she says shakily.

"Everyone's ready outside," he informs her.

"Okay," she breathes.

She walks over to Sayu and leans down to kiss her baby on the forehead. The bridesmaids leave the room, and Mr. Yagami goes to leave with them.

"Wait!"

He stops, holding the door with his hand.

"Will you...walk me down the aisle?"

His mouth drops as his eyes grow wide.

"Are-are you sure?"

"Mhm!" she hums, nodding.

Soichiro relaxes, love consuming him, and he holds out his arm. Kay picks up the side of her dress, and uses her other, no-longer-bandaged, hand to grab his arm.

"Don't let me fall, okay?"

"Never."

He holds the door open for her, and the two walk outside, hovering by the gate. When music begins playing, they walk around the side of the house and into the backyard. Sachiko and Sayu stood to the left, and Light to the right. Surprisingly, Ryuzaki stood between them. They, along with Matsuda, wore black tuxedos.

'I can do this. I can do this.'

Kay's grip tightens on Soichiro's arm as the two walk forward.

'Just breathe.'

When they reach everyone else, he hands her off to Light before kissing her forehead. The music cuts off, and L begins speaking. Kay gazes into Light's calm, warm eyes, sure that fear is in her own.

'This past year has been Hell on Earth; we deserve some happiness. I love Light. I want to marry Light. I am marrying Light.'

Time speeds along for Kay as words are spoken and repeated, and Sachiko draws her back in by handing her her written-down vows. She takes them with a weak smile, hoping her face wasn't pale. She struggles to swallow before she takes a deep breath.

"Light, the day I came to live with you and your family was terrifying for me. So much had changed in my life, but, when I saw you, I felt calm for the first time since the accident. You are my eye in the hurricane called Life. This year has been Hell for us, but we are still standing tall, because we have each other to lean on. If there's anyone that I am going to go through life with, I'm glad it's you."

She hands the paper back, and Light pulls one of his own out of his suit.

"Kay, everyone around me sees me as the smart kid, the Top of the Class, but that title is ripped away when I'm with you. I'm Light with you. I make mistakes with you. I'm human with you. I fall in love with you. You complete me and are my better half. I love you, Kaylen Suoh."

Kay finds herself fighting off the urge to cry from happiness and relief.

"If anyone, for any reason, believes that these two should not be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace," Ryuzaki says, reading off of a notecard.

"Stop the wedding!"

Everyone's heads turn to see Misa bursting through the gate with Mogi chasing after her.


	31. XXXI

Kay's eyes locked with Misa, her expression unreadable while Misa's was pissed.

"I-I'm sorry! I tried to stop her!" Mogi exclaims, trying to grab the model again.

"No! Let me go-!"

"Let her speak."

Everyone's heads turn to look at Kay in shock and disbelief.

"Kay-!"

"Let her go, Mogi."

He abides and Misa huffs before brushing herself off. She returned her glare to Suoh, marching up to them. Kay did not step back or show any sign of fear.

'What are you doing?!' Light thinks to himself.

"I object!"

"Obviously; state your reason," the young mother responds calmly, standing her ground.

"I love Light and I know he has feelings for me, too! He shouldn't be trapped in a marriage with you just because you got knocked up!"

"Light?"

"N-no! I don't have feelings for Misa and I want to marry you!"

"Light! How could you say that? You and I are meant to be!" Misa exclaims again, not bothering to maintain her voice.

'Why are you letting her say all this, Kay? Unless…'

"I object, too," Matsuda says clearly, his arm in the air.

That causes Kay to falter, and she turns her head to gaze at him with wide eyes.

'Are you shitting me?!'

"Touta…"

"I love you, Kay! I've tried to be quiet about my feelings because Light makes you happy, but I can't anymore! He cheated on you! He didn't step up as a father as soon as you told him you were pregnant! He's hurt you! And I won't be quiet about that! Not when your heart and happiness are at stake!"

"Matsuda!" both Light and Soichiro yell at the same time.

Any other situation, and he would've shrunken back, mumbling out an apology, but not today. He stands tall, walking forward and taking Kay's hand in his own.

"I want you to be happy, Kay, even if it's not with me. But I know that it's not with Light."

"How dare-!"

'This is wrong. All of this is wrong.'

Kay looks into Matsuda's eyes sadly before pulling her hand back.

'I need to do what's best for Nozomi; it's not just me now.'

Feeling as if his heart had shattered, he sniffles before brushing past everyone, breaking into a run once he leaves the backyard. Kay feels a lump form in her throat, and suppresses the urge to cry.

'I'm so sorry, Matsuda.'

Misa, who had been standing a foot away quietly, reasserts her presence.

"Light-!"

"Get her out of here, Mogi," he says, his tone scaring both her and Kay.

'This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life!'

Misa, dejectedly, follows the large man out of the backyard. The atmosphere is thick and heavy, and it begins to rain. Nozomi begins crying, and Kay turns around, taking the baby from Sayu. Ryuzaki begins stepping away, and both Kay and Light hold out an arm to stop him. The two look at each other, a thousand emotions on their faces.

"You're the one I choose," they say simultaneously.

They step closer, taking each other's free hand while Light cradles Nozomi as well.

"Um," L mumbles, shuffling through his cards, "do you, Kaylen Suoh, take Light Yagami to be your husband?"

"I do."

"And do you, Light Yagami, take Kaylen Suoh to be your wife?"

"I do."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

They step even closer, and Kay tilts her head up, closing her eyes. Their lips lock, and the rest of the world falls away. All that exists is them and their daughter. After too short of a time for them, they break away for air and press their foreheads together, blocking the rain as they smile down at Nozomi.

* * *

Matsuda finds himself staring up at the Yoshiba building. He walks into the building, crouching down and sneaking past the security desk. Pressing himself against a wall, he overhears a conversation that catches his attention.

'Today's Friday. If Kay is right, then Kira should be holding a meeting with the suspects she came up with soon.'

When he hears the elevator doors close, he whips around and watches the floor numbers light up. When it stops, he runs towards the stairwell and begins sprinting up towards the floor that he's sure the meeting is being held on.

'Faster! I have to go faster!'

Memories of Kay flash in front of his eyes, and he wipes away a few stray tears.

'Just you wait, Kay. I'll make it up to you if it's the last thing I ever do!'

He bursts through the door, coming to a screeching halt as he regains his breath. He looks around the corridor, his eyes falling on a set of double-doors. Quietly walking up, he presses his ear against the door, closing his eyes to concentrate.

'I hear voices!'

Listening further, he has trouble making out every word.

'He just said Kira!'

He steps back, and falls onto his butt when the doors open. Fear etched onto his face, he gazes up at some of the men that the Task Force had been investigating. Discreetly, he slowly moves his hand to press the button on his belt, signaling for help.

* * *

Kay had Nozomi in her lap as she, Light, Sayu, Sachiko, Soichiro, and Ryuzaki sat at the dining table, eating rice and miso soup. She had stripped out of Sachiko's dress in favor of some more casual clothes, as had everyone else except the baby. They all ate silently, looking down, not sure what to say. Making everyone jump, L's phone begins ringing and he answers the call.

"Hello?...Where?...The Yagami Residence...Of course, I'll think of something...Yes, goodbye."

He hangs up and goes back to eating without an explanation. Kay, Light, and Soichiro share concerned looks, debating whether to ask. She is the one to bite the bullet in the end.

"What was that about, Ryuzaki?"

"Mm," the detective hums before swallowing, "Matsuda-san has sent a distress signal that has been tracked from the Yoshiba Productions building."

"What?!" Kay exclaims, her chair sliding back as she stands up, clutching the baby to her, "Why would he be there?!"

"I don't know," L says calmly.

"We have to save him!"

Light gazes up at his wife with anticipation before nodding in determination.

"Mom? Can you and Sayu keep Nozomi for the night?"

"O-of course, dear," Sachiko responds, deciding that it was better to not know what was going on.

Kay hands her daughter over, and the four Task Force members quickly put on their shoes before leaving the house, Light and Kay running ahead while Ryuzaki and Soichiro tried to keep up. As the rain continued to pour, it was hard to see in far ahead, but Kay kept running as fast as her legs would carry her, ignoring the pain where the stitches still had not fully healed.

'I'm coming, Matsuda! Don't you dare die on me!'


	32. XXXII

**That was a long hiatus. I used Spring Break to allow my brain a complete rest so now I'm back in the game!**

* * *

"How are you...running so fast?!" Light yells ahead as he tries to see Kay through the darkness and rain.

Pain ebbed through her entire midsection, not enough time having passed for her to completely heal. Her body screams at her to stop, and she's sure she can feel blood trickling down her leg; but she doesn't stop. She can't stop. She won't stop.

"Kay! Wait!" Ryuzaki's voice rings out with authority.

'This is all my fault. He's at Yoshiba because of me.'

"Kay!" Light calls again, catching up and trying to grab her.

As she crosses through a puddle, her foot loses its friction, sliding and making her slip. She falls face-forward, skidding to a halt.

"Kay!"

Light drops to his knees and slides up to her. He scoops her upper-body into his arms, shielding her face from the rain with his head.

"Please, stop!"

"But Matsu-!"

"Will only be in more danger if you barge in there!"

The newlyweds look into each other's eyes, trying to see into their thoughts. He helps her to her feet before checking her over.

"You're bleeding."

"I've been through worse; I'll survive."

Soichiro and Ryuzaki finally catch up, doubled over and out of breath.

"Kay! What the...hell?!" L wheezes.

"We need a plan. Knowing you, you already have a few."

"Y...yes. It's increasingly risky as I think about it further, but I see no other choice."

"Just tell me what I need to do."

"Actually, you're not needed. I do need Misa for this plan, however."

Light expected Kay to protest or at least snarl at that, but she just nods.

"I understand. Bring him home."

She turns and stands up on her toes, kissing Light's cheek.

"I need you to come home, too."

The three men nod before continuing to run, but towards Task Force Headquarters.

'I don't like the idea of Kay being unsupervised, but something tells me that she wouldn't do anything even if she was Kira.'

Kay watches them disappear into the darkness, worry in her head and despair in her heart. She turns around and begins walking back to the house, humming a tune that she couldn't put her finger on.

"Please come home."

Knocking on the door, she stands outside while Sachiko retrieves a towel while Sayu holds Nozomi in Kay's line of vision.

"Sorry if I scared you two."

The younger girl just shakes her head before looking down at her niece, smiling. With a towel now wrapped around her, Kay steps inside and closes the door. She sinks to the floor and pulls the warm cloth closer to her.

"Sayu? Take Nozomi upstairs please."

"Okay."

With the two older women left alone, Kay allows her facade to fall, pain etching on her face.

"Kay? What's wrong?"

"My, um, stitches...from after I had Nozomi...I was running too hard."

Immediately understanding, Sachiko runs back to the bathroom to retrieve a medkit. Kay leans her head back to rest against the wall.

'Light...Matsuda...I can't bear to lose either of you.'

"Can you stand up, dear?"

"Mhm."

Using the wall as support, she gets back to her feet, making sure that the towel covered where she was bleeding incase Sayu came back. Following her mother-in-law into the bedroom, she positions the cloth again before lying down on the bed, her lower half hanging off the edge.

Normally, she would have cracked a joke, saying how today wasn't exactly how she imagined this day would have gone. But she doesn't; for her wedding is the farthest thing from her mind.

"Is this what you feel like all the time?"

"Hm?"

"Whenever Soichiro leaves for work or does something you know could cost his life…"

"...Every single time. But that's what love is, dear! Caring about someone so much that losing them would be losing yourself!"

"And Sayu?"

"You saw for yourself how she reacted when Soichiro told us that people were dropping out of the Kira case. There is faith, but even that comes with fear."

"...I don't want that for Nozomi."

"And I didn't want this for you three. Life doesn't always turn out the way you hope."

Covering her face with her arms to hide her embarrassment, Kay tries to ignore the fact that the woman who raised her as if she were her own is looking at where the stitches tore.

"Are you disappointed...in me and Light?"

"What do you mean?"

"We had a child out of wedlock and while we're still teenagers. You trusted us to sleep in the same room, and we broke that."

"I knew, dear."

"What?" Kay exclaims, trying to sitting up.

"Stay still."

"Sorry."

"While I didn't know the extent of your relationship, I could see it in your eyes when you two looked at each other. Sayu and Soichiro never noticed, but a mother always knows."

"Some daughter I turned out to be."

The words slip out of her mouth before she realises what she's saying, and they both freeze. Kay had established early on that she most likely would never see the Yagamis as her family, and never referred to them as such. Calling herself Sachiko's daughter made the older woman feel...peace. The barrier had been shattered, allowing Kay to be a true part of the family.

"I could never be disappointed in you," she says, returning to the task at hand.

"Really?"

"I'm not thrilled with your situation, but I love you and Light and I love Nozomi."

Kay goes quiet, retreating into herself to think. After a few minutes, Sachiko stands up, closing the medkit.

"I'm going to go wash my hands and put on some tea. Do you want me to run you a warm bath?"

"...Y-yes please."

Kay hated having to be taken care of, especially now that she was a mother herself. The elder Mrs. Yagami leaves the room, and Kay can hear the water start filling the tub.

'Matsuda was at Yoshiba because he wanted to uncover who Kira this, that much I am sure of. But was he able to get any proof? Will tonight have all been in vain if he returns with nothing?'

A phone goes off on the dresser, and Kay gets up to look at it.

'Ryuzaki's number?'

"Matsuda...Misa's manager...fake his death...ambulance!"

Kay felt her stomach turn as she filled with dread.

'This is bad. This is bad.'

Residing herself to staying out of the way, she strips out of her still-damp clothes and slowly lowers herself into the warm bath, submerging herself to just above her neck.

'There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do. They can handle it. They can…'

"Come in," Kay calls out to the knock at the door.

Sayu hesitantly enters the room with Nozomi in her arms.

"She-she won't stop fussing. I don't know what she wants."

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she rises to sitting upright in the tub, and holds her arms out.

"She does that sometimes. Thank you for watching her."

Sayu hands the baby over before leaving the room. Kay ran some cooler water before taking her daughter out of her dress.

"Why're you giving Aunt Sayu a hard time, eh?" she coos.

Slowly lowering the baby into the bath with her, she props Nozomi up on her legs, holding her wrists.

"Mommy's a bit fussy too, Nozo. I miss Daddy."

'Was it just last night that I found out about Misa? That already feels so long ago.'

"Today's been a long day. I'm sure we'll both be able to sleep through until morning tonight!"


	33. XXXIII

Kay sat up on the couch with the lights off, Nozomi in her hands as she waited for both Light and Matsuda to return to her; anxiety forming a barrier between her and sleep.

When the baby begins fussing, she quietly sings a lullaby as to keep everyone else in the house asleep. When the infant falls back into slumber, Kay carefully stands up, laying her daughter on the pillow Sachiko provided, pulling the blanket that was also borrowed up to the baby's chin. The young mother stands up and walks silently into the kitchen, pouring a cup of water from the faucet.

'They should have been back now, unless...no, I won't think about it.'

Not being able to will herself to sit back down, she wanders over to the windowsill, pulling the curtain back to gaze at the stars.

'Mom? Dad? I'm not sure if you can see what's going on or even if you can hear me, but...please...bring him back to me.'

Suddenly, several figures step into view from the darkness, their silhouettes barely visible in the dim streetlights. Kay stifles a gasp and runs gracefully over to the door, opening it silently before slipping out into the night. Sprinting down the sidewalk, the widest smile she has ever worn spreads across her face. One of the figures behind running towards her, arms open for an embrace. Kay crashes into Light and buries her face in his chest, joy hugging her as tightly as he does.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm right here. I came back," he coos soothingly, petting his newlywed's hair.

Through the corner of her eye, she sees that Matsuda is...

'...Alright...'

Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she takes Light's hand that was on her shoulder and leads the group back to the house through the darkness. Soichiro navigates through the living room to his bedroom as if he had it down to muscle memory while L sits down in a chair. Kay, Light, and Matsuda shuffle over to the couch, Kay picking up Nozomi carefully before sitting down on the middle cushion with her husband to her right and Matsuda to her left. With Light, helping his wife cradle their daughter, everyone in the house falls into a deep sleep, exhaustion enveloping them from the last 24 hours.

* * *

L was the first in the house to wake up, having only slept in 5 minute intervals for a few hours. Being the detective he is, his mind immediately switches on, and he looks over at the couch observing the small family that lay peacefully asleep.

'Kaylen Suoh. Kaylen Yagami. Almost 19 years old. Married to Light Yagami and has a newborn daughter named Nozomi. Kay was a prime suspect for the Kira case, but as time goes on...When she was 3, she was in a car wreck that killed her parents and severely injured the other driver. Yagami-kun says that she will swear up and down that it was a deer that hit the car and not a truck. Notes from her old therapist claims that her mind twisted the event so that a mindless animal was to blame and not a functioning human being.'

Ryuzaki gazes at her sleeping face as if she held the answer to everything.

'From age 12 to 18, Kaylen has shown a deep interest in becoming a lawyer. Her ambition to fight for justice had been the previous reason that I had come to the conclusion that she was Kira.'

His attention shifts over to Light, whose cheek rests upon Kay's head.

'Light Yagami. 19 years old and married to Kaylen while also fathering Nozomi. Has held a higher suspicion of being Kira than Kay from the beginning in my eyes. If he is, or at least was, Kira, then I would not put it past him to force Kay to work with him. Perhaps that is why I neither condone nor object their relationship.'

Finally, he switches to analyze the ex-police officer.

'Touta Matsuda. 25 years old. Has been working on the Kira case as a member of the Police Task Force for over a year now. Clumsy and impulsive but dedicated and loyal. From the information he carelessly collected last night, we can now conclude that Yoshiba Productions without a doubt has some strong connection to Kira. Whether one of them can get in contact or, as Matsuda relayed what he had heard, one of them IS Kira.'

Ryuzaki looks down and bites the tip of his thumb in thought.

'Kay was able to come to this conclusion based on obscure data. My suspicion rose slightly after that due to her speed in finding suspects. I do not believe that she is Kira at the moment, so I need to focus on the one at large. Misa has an interview with Yoshiba in a few days. Since Matsuda faked his death, I will probably send Mogi in to be Amane's new manager.'

"Ryuzaki?"

"Hm?" he hums, looking up to see that Kay was awake.

"Are you okay?" she asks, tilting her head in what he could only guess was misplaced worry.

"Yes. I am fine. Thank you."

"Do you want something to eat?"

Without waiting for a response, Kay carefully stands up, keeping Nozomi in her arms.

"No thank you."

"Coffee?"

L hesitates before nodding in confirmation. Kay smiles at him before tip-toeing into the kitchen to brew some coffee and begin making breakfast for the 5 other people in the house.

Using one hand made things difficult, but Kay couldn't fight off the urge to keep Nozomi close to her.

'Most likely, Ryuzaki will say that it has been too long of a distraction. I have to completely agree. With Light, Misa, and, well, Nozomi...I've been so distracted.'

Stopping to gaze down at her daughter, a soft smile formed on her face before it dropped when she realised what she was doing.

'While I've been focused on trying to mend my family, people have still been dying. Criminals or not...the death penalty is never justified. My attention needs to return to capturing Kira.'

She looks over at Matsuda, who is still slumped over and asleep.

'Hopefully, whatever Touta uncovered will make up for lost time.'

Kay hesitantly walked over and placed Nozomi in the crook of Light's arm before returning to the kitchen.

'I don't know what Matsuda overheard. Even if I did, there's not much I can do with the information while we're still away from headquarters.'

With the coffee done, she takes the pot and pours some of the hot drink into a mug before handing it to L.

"Thank you."

"Always."

Opening the fridge, Kay pulls out the eggs to make Tamago Kake Gohan. As she waited for the rice to soften in the boiling water, she leaned against the counter, deep in thought.

'While Lind L. Tailor did not die during the Kanto region of Japan's broadcast, he did have a heart attack before the next one began. This shows that both Kira is here in Japan, whether temporarily or permanently, and...he hesitated.

'Kira obviously has a god complex. Lind saying that what Kira was doing was wrong...L knew that would get him pissed. But...why was there a delay? Did he stop himself? Or was there someone else there that at least tried to stop him?'

"What are you thinking about?" L asks, standing up and walking into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

"I guess I'm just backtracking; itching to get back to work."

"Really?"

"What?"

"I would have thought that you would want off the case in order to raise your daughter or at least some time off to 'honeymoon' with Light."

"We've wasted enough time. As long as people are losing their lives, I can't possibly enjoy still having mine."

Ryuzaki goes quiet, and his expression changes. His face reads an emotion that Kay had never seen him express before, and it baffled her.

Disquieted, Kay returns her attention to making breakfast. Pouring the rice into different bowls, she places the pot in the sink to wash later before finishing making the simple breakfast. With L's help, she set the dining table before returning to Light's side. She picks Nozomi back up before waking her husband.

"Good morning."

"Mm...morning," he mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Kay then shakes Matsuda's shoulder before knocking on Sachiko and Soichiro's bedroom door. Finally, Kay goes upstairs and wakes Sayu.

"It's Saturday morning! Let me sleep!" the teen whines.

"I made food."

Sayu springs up out of bed, making Kay laugh, and the two head downstairs to greet the new day.


	34. XXXIV

Light delicately laid Nozomi in her crib before returning to the elevator and heading down to the main lobby of the Task Force Headquarters, making sure that the baby monitor was working. While both he and Kay were opposed to leaving the baby alone, they agreed that their daughter would be safe, and they could see her through the cameras and hear her through the baby monitor.

'We need to focus; giving the case 100% of our attention until Kira has been brought to justice.'

Kay seemed less worried and upset about leaving Nozo alone than Light, which surprised everyone. In fact, she had been behaving odd all day in Light's eyes. She wouldn't eat, she wasn't fidgeting nearly as much as she used to, and it took several seconds to get her attention. If he didn't know her as well as he does, he would be worried that something was wrong. But he knows Kay like he knows himself; and he knows that she has found her drive, and she won't stop until she accomplishes what she desires.

"Her work ethic is admirable," Aizawa notes with his arms crossed over his chest as he stands near the exit to go home for the day.

"Has she even moved away from her desk?"

"No," Matsuda replies blankly, his head ducked in front of his own computer, "she hasn't left since we got here."

"Kay?"

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking?" Ryuzaki asks, taking a bite out of a slice of cake.

"Even with what Matsuda found, we can't definitively say who in that group Kira is. Even with cameras and microphones, we could convict them with conspiring with Kira at best."

L hums in agreement, having been on the exact same page.

"There has to be a way to draw out whoever Kira is and get him to both reveal himself and how he is able to kill from afar with just a name and face," Kay mumbles to herself, her eyes darting everywhere as if the answer was physically right in front of her.

Matsuda gazed at her with an unreadable expression before his eyes move up to the screen split down the middle with the left side showing a camera feed of Misa's floor and the right displaying Kay and Light's Unit.

'I hope we can come up with a plan soon. No one's happy here anymore.'

The light on the monitor turned red, and the sound of Nozomi crying pulled Kay out of her spell. She quickly stands up and strides over to the elevator, going up to her floor. Light gazed on before returning to his work, trying to block out the screams of his daughter.

Over the monitor, he is able to hear Kay enter the room and pick up the baby, cooing to the infant.

"What's wrong, Nozo?"

Light loves the nickname his wife gave their daughter, and he adores how loving her voice is when she talks to their baby.

"Did you just miss Mommy and Daddy? Maybe it was a bit too soon to go back to work without my favorite little girl by my side!" Kay practically sings.

The young mother changes the infant out of her pyjamas before grabbing a blanket and heading back downstairs.

When the elevators open again, Kay walks out with Nozomi in her arms. Light smiles at her before turning back to his work. Kay sits down in front of her computer once again, positioning her daughter upright in her lap before returning to her own work.

"Ryuzaki?" she calls out after a while without looking away from her monitor.

"Hm?"

"I have a plan."

"Is it a risky plan?"

"I have a plan."

L suppresses a smile and turns in his chair to face Kay.

"Do continue."

"Matsuda posed as Misa's manager, right? Well, what if we set up an 'interview' with Yoshiba for Misa to be in an advertisement for them. This would allow her to get closer with the Kira suspects. Perhaps she could act as a spy for us and dig up any information that we could use to convict one or more of the men."

"And if she were found out? If one of them is Kira, then they would kill Misa."

Kay enjoyed talking with Ryuzaki. He challenges her thinking; which not many people can say.

"We become very public about Misa's whereabouts. If she has interacted with the Yoshiba brand, then the whole of Japan knows about it. That way, even if Misa is found out, then they still can't do anything. Otherwise, the company faces the impending risk of being found out, ruined, and caught."

"You've thought this through."

"I take care to not be wrong."

Without another word, L turns back to his computer and lemon bar. Light continued to gaze at his wife from the corner of his eye. From her shoulder-length honey blonde hair to her button nose and back up to her seafoam-colored eyes, he fell in love with her even more. Except for their daughter, he's never seen anyone who looks like her in Japan.

'Probably because her family moved here only two generations before her. She's mostly Finnish.'

His eyes moved down to Nozomi, who was playing with the stuffed bunny with a yellow bow around its neck that he had given to Kay when she was still pregnant. She had Light's eyes and lips but Kay's hair and nose.

"Light-kun, please focus," L says, looking at him with his large eyes and blank expression.

Snapping back to where his attention should be, he returns to his research, deciding to switch to finding out how someone would go about setting up an interview such as the one Kay described.

"Wait," Matsuda says, his eyebrows furrowed.

Everyone turns to look at him, and Kay gazes at him with an unreadable expression.

"How are we going to get Misa-Misa to go along with this? Doesn't she kinda hate us right now?" Touta asks.

Both Kay and Light's eyes grow wide, their cheeks turning red before they look down, tensing up.

"She'll have nothing to do with it if she knows that I had any sort of involvement. I'm the only one she's mad at. Light?"

"I know what you're thinking, and I'm not doing it. I can't just play with her feelings like that."

"Do you have a better idea to get her to go along with it?"

"...No…"

"Believe me; I hate this idea more than you. I have every reason to hate her and make you swear up and down that you'll never ever have any sort of contact with her again. But that would be pointless, selfish, and would get us nowhere."

"Kay-"

"People are still dying at the hands of Kira. We need her in order to bring Kira to justice and end his mass-genocidal reign."

Her words hung in the air as everyone except L and Nozo got goosebumps.

"...Fine."

"We'll be watching the whole time."

Begrudgingly, Light stands up and walks over to the elevator. He looks at Kay, searching for any sign that she's changed her mind, before the doors close in front of him.

"You're very dedicated, Kay-san," Ryuzaki remarks.

"Seeing the news and death counts fills you with determination," she responds absently, her expression stern as she stares at nothing in particular.

At that moment, Nozomi began to fuss, and Kay stood up.

"I don't feel like watching this. Tell Light whenever he comes back down that I'll be in our room."

Her stomach turning, she shifts her daughter in her arms before going to the elevator, itching for the doors to close quickly. As soon as they do, she looks down into the infant's eyes as her own are brimming with tears.

"I told him to, Nozo! I told him to and I still feel sick about the whole thing!"

The baby just babbles in return, reaching up for her mother. Smiling, Kay pulls her up and holds her as if they were hugging.


	35. XXXV

Light hesitated outside of Misa's door, his fist raised in the air, unable to finish the knocking motion.

'I feel guilty; like I'm betraying Kay all over again. I promised that I would never hurt her again, and…'

His hand falls against the door, startling himself by the sound it made. A few seconds later, Misa pops her head out, not opening the door completely.

"Light?"

"Can I come in? It's really important."

"Where's Kay?" she asks, her tone bitter.

"Downstairs. Working."

Hesitantly, Misa steps back and allows him inside. Light forced himself to move his eyes up and down her body, noticing that she was wearing the same outfit as the day they met.

"What's up?" she asks casually, crossing her arms under her chest.

Light attempted to conceal how uncomfortable he was by running his hand through his hair.

"I need you, Misa, to-"

"Oh, Light! I knew it!" the model exclaimed, throwing herself into his arms.

Caught off guard, he catches her, his mind freezing up momentarily.

'I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this.'

Begrudgingly, he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer to his face.

"Misa, I need you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

As Light explained the plan and her role in it, he was mentally preparing himself to lie through his teeth and manipulate her.

"...and after Kira is caught, we can leave here."

"We?"

"Yes…"

"What about Kay and your baby?"

'Kay, please know that I don't mean a word I'm about to say.'

"She manipulated me. My father would have killed me if I didn't marry her. He's very old-fashioned like that."

"Light…"

"You were right, Misa. I do have feelings for you."

'The words taste like bile as they come out of my mouth...I have to keep going.'

"What are you saying?"

"Once Kira is caught, Ryuga will be certain that you and I aren't. We'll be free from here. And then you and I can be together; as...boyfriend and...girlfriend."

Misa squealed and danced around the room, allowing Light to compose himself; wiping off the disgust and self-hatred from his face.

* * *

Kay humed a nursery rhyme as she poured warm water down the back of Nozomi's head, trying to keep the baby calm as she gave her a bath in the bathroom sink. The newborn played with a plastic rattle, struggling to keep a grip on it.

Kay smiled as she washed the infant's hair, her mind refusing to wander anywhere else besides what was directly in front of her.

"Do you like baths, Nozo?" she asks playfully, grabbing her daughter's attention.

The baby's eyes lit up and she pointed the rattle at Kay.

"For me?"

She takes the rattle and shakes it lightly, earning an enthusiastic babble. Kay beams before placing it back within Nozomi's reach and returning to the task of rinsing her off.

Turning off the faucet, she grabs a fluffy towel and wraps the infant in it before walking out of the bathroom to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery.

"You put up way less of a fuss than your father did, baby!" she coos as she dries of Nozo, "He just wanted to stay dirty and play outside!"

Though she didn't understand, she knew that Kay was in a good mood again, and made gibberish noises in response.

"You're really talkative today," the young mother notes softly, gently toweling off the infant's hair before standing back up.

She hangs the cloth on a rack before laying Nozomi on her back on top of the changing table.

"Don't pee on me again. Don't pee on me again. Don't pee on me again," Kay mumbles as she puts on a clean diaper.

Fighting with the baby to put her in a gray onesie, she huffs in achievement as Nozomi settles down in defeat, sadly wearing clothes once again.

"Nap-time, Nozo! For both you and Mommy…"

Kissing her daughter on the forehead, she lays her gently down in the cradle before turning off the lights and walking out of the room. Collapsing onto the bed with another huff, she crawls under the blankets, lacking the energy to turn off the lights.

Light, however, does a few minutes later when he silently enters the room. He finds his way through the newly-darkened room to the bed and lays himself down carefully before wrapping an arm around his wife, smiling as he smells baby shampoo on her. The two spouses fall into a peaceful and well-needed rest, having been mentally and physically exhausted for weeks.

However, the silence is short-lived as Nozomi's wails fill the room. Light and Kay groan in discontent and the former crawls out of bed to attend to the infant. The crying continues for several minutes, and Kay covers her ears with her pillow.

"Light!"

The young father comes back into the room, bouncing the baby.

"Her diaper isn't wet! She doesn't want a bottle! I don't know what's wrong with her!" he exclaims, his eyes tired yet frantic.

Unable to stand hearing her daughter cry, Kay sighs before removing the pillow and holding out her arms. Defeated, Light hands Nozomi over and Kay places her on top of the blanket between her legs. Fighting the squirming infant once again, she takes the onesie back off, causing the crying to die down a few seconds later.

"It was...her onesie?"

"The kid hates clothes," Kay sighs, pulling the infant to rest against her chest as she lies back down.

Confused but relieved, Light gets back into bed and turns on his side to watch over his two favorite people in the whole world.

'I was able to convince Misa to go along with the plan. Now Ryuzaki is going to coach her on what to say for her interview tomorrow.'

His gaze travels up to Kay's face, and his lips curve downward. There were bags under her eyes and she looked like years had passed since Nozomi came.

'Her 19th birthday is almost a week away...she's still a teenager...living the life of an adult. We've been cooped up in here for months, never really getting a break from being parents. Maybe while Misa's at her interview, we can have a little outing of our own while Mom and Sayu watch Nozo.'

Content with his plan, he soon falls back into a sleep of his own.

* * *

 _Light Yagami sat at his desk, writing names of criminals into the Death Note. Kay wandered around behind him, packing their things away into boxes. The two of them were moving into the studio she had leased, but Kira could not slow down. L would be suspicious._

 _Kay stopped packing Light's clothes and straightened up to gaze at him._

 _'Light...the love of my life...my best friend...the father of my baby...my worst enemy.'_

 _The words felt like intruders in her head, but she knew it was true. L has a reason of justice to take them down, but she had a personal reason, an obligation, to see the end of Kira._

 _'No one here deserves to die...except for me and the monster I created.'_

 _Light was a monster in Kay's eyes. He snapped at her, he isolated her, he no longer looked at her with love, but as just another person 'in the way', and forced her hand onto the pages that he writes on now._

 _'No...this is my fault, too. I'm a murderer, too. His hands are forever stained, but mine are, too'_

 _Fighting off a wave of nausea, Kay clenches her jaw and continues packing._

 _'I should stop him. I have to stop him. But how? I'll never be able to get the Death Note away from him, and even if I did, I couldn't prove to the police that it was both legitimate and our doing. I wouldn't believe some teenager if they said that they're Kira and can kill people by writing their names down on magic paper. No...I have to find a way to convict us without a doubt in everyone's minds.'_

 _She looks back up at Light, who is still writing with a disturbing grin on his face._

 _'And I won't let myself be afraid to do it. I wasn't lying when I said that I want to bring Kira to justice and have him executed, Light Yagami.'_


	36. XXXVI

Kay woke up from a nightmare that she couldn't remember, but left her feeling cold inside. She looked over but wasn't surprised to see that Light's side of the bed was empty. She was, however, startled to see Nozomi gone from her crib with a note in its place.

"Dad took Nozomi to visit Mom; I'll be back up soon. Light," she read aloud before crumbling the paper and throwing it away.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she places her clothes in her hamper before stepping into the shower. Closing her eyes and tilting her head up, she relishes in the warm, relaxing water as it runs down her body. She sighs in contempt before she begins to gently scrub shampoo into her hair.

Light smiled lovingly from the doorway, waiting for her to notice him first so that he doesn't scare her. When she does, a teasing smile spreads over her face as she beckons him to join her. He complies and strips before getting into the shower as well. Neither say anything and instead find peace in each other's company. While they're on amazing terms, they still have been intimate in quite awhile. Because of the cameras, Kay denied Light's kisses or teasing. But today was a day for affection, cameras or privacy.

"Kay?"

"Hm?"

Light pulls her hair back gently before he begins kissing up and down her neck.

"Light…"

He doesn't stop, and she doesn't push her away, butterflies in her stomach as if she was a kid with a crush. He wraps his arms over her midsection, and Kay leans back into his chest. Light pulls away and Kay stifles a whine.

"I have a surprise for you today."

"What is it?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?"

"You know I hate not knowing things."

"True, I'll compromise and give you a hint. What's today's date?"

"The thirteenth of April-!"

"Happy birthday, Kay."

'I'm only 19 but my mind is older. It already feels like years have passed since Kira popped up.'

"Don't you think it's a bad time to be celebrating? We're so close to capturing-"

"Don't say the name. He doesn't exist today. The only people in the universe are you and I."

"Light-"

"No buts. Now come on; the day is anew."

The teen complies and they quickly finish showering before getting out and toweling off.

"Wear something comfortable; we're going to be out for awhile."

"Out? But what about Ryuzaki?"

"He agrees that Yoshiba is the current target, not us. We're not completely free, but we can roam for at least today."

"Oh, Light!"

'My name on her lips is the perfect melody.'

"Are you ready to go?" he asks after a few minutes.

Kay walks out of the bathroom, and Light's breath is taken away. She had put on concealer, erasing the tiredness from her eyes, and even was wearing a shiny, pink lipgloss. She wore a maroon-colored camisole top, light blue jeans, and one-inch brown-and-black heels.

"Thank god for elastic waistbands."

"You look stunning."

"Thank you," she replies, extending her arm out to him.

Standing up from the bed, he takes her hand and the two walk out of their room, to the elevator, and out the doors of the Task Force Headquarters. The couple pause to bask in the sun and take a deep breath of the fresh air before they continue walking.

"Where are we going?"

"Café Poro."

"Oo!"

"After we eat, we're going to the Hamarikyu Gardens until lunch, when we will get lost in Ginza. Money is not a problem, so we can go shopping in all your favorite stores until sunset."

"What happens at sunset?"

"We will take a riverboat ride to Odaiba so that we're on the world's tallest ferris wheel when the fireworks are going off."

"Fireworks?"

"Mhm. The festival for the blooming azalea trees started yesterday."

Kay closes her eyes as she hugs Light's arm, resting her head against his shoulder as they continue walking.

"That sounds amazing," she sighs.

"We're nineteen. The day is ours. No responsibilities. No worries. Just us."

Kay smiles softly as the two arrive at the cafe, immediately taking a booth in the corner next to a window.

The couple laugh and talk for almost an hour while they slowly eat and drink tea, Light enjoying every second that he sees Kay smiling. They spoke of their dreams, their ambitions, and their greatest desires. It was them and only them. What came before didn't count anymore or even mattered. The rest of the world fell away.

When they were done, Light payed for their meal before they started their journey to the gardens.

"The last time we came here was when we were little kids! Do you remember that?" Light asks, his arm draped over Kay's shoulder.

"Partially. I know that it was just us and Soichiro."

"Mhm."

"We were all holding hands so that we wouldn't accidentally get separated in the crowd of tourists."

"So that you wouldn't get lost! You were only a little bigger than Sayu!"

"Oh shut it!" Kay exclaims, playfully shoving his arm.

"It's true! You were small and quiet!"

The two laugh before they fall into a comfortable silence, walking around without a destination through the garden, enjoying the peace and view. The warm sun and cool breeze creates the perfect atmosphere, and Light feels completely relaxed and at ease. Kay, however, held the same demeanor while her mind raced around in circles.

'Kyosuke Higuchi is Kira; I know it. The best outcome is that we catch him while he somehow does his killings. No; while he's only trying to kill someone. But how do we get him to that point? He's clearly insane if he's Kira, but he's not stupid. He'd have to be completely desperate to slip up like that.'

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh? Oh, um...Nozo…"

"Why? I'm sure that Mom and Sayu are adoring and spoiling her!"

'I would have thought that Kay would love a break from having to take care of Nozomi...is this making her sad?'

"Yeah; you're probably right."

"If you want, I can ask Dad to bring her over."

"No, it's fine."

"...Okay. Tell me if you change your mind."

Kay stops walking and leans up to kiss Light's cheek.

"Today is for you and me."

Smiling reassuringly, the two continue down the path, slowly looping around and making their way to the entrance.

The rest of the day went as perfectly as Light had been imagining for over a week. Kay practically dragged him between stores, his weight being the only thing keeping her from downright sprinting as she excitedly pointed out all things she has ever wanted at any point in time. He couldn't help grinning with her as he enjoys seeing this side of her again for the first time in actual years.

Near sunset, Soichiro met up with them, collecting the mountain of shopping bags to take back to headquarters. The two then walk onto the dock and board the riverboat to Odaiba, sitting down on one of the benches in the back. Kay rested her head on Light happily, smiling as she thinks back over their day together.

"Are you tired?" Light speaks softly in her ear.

"Hm? No, I'm just relaxed."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

When they come to a stop, they stand up and begin walking towards the Ferris wheel. Kay gazes up at the lights as the sun finishes setting, creating a cozy atmosphere.

"Today has been wonderful," Kay muses as they take their seats, not having had to wait in a line for the ride.

"Happy birthday, Kay," Light replies, pulling her closer to him, kissing the top of her head.

She leaned back to look in his eyes before she kissed him softly, jumping but not pulling away when the Ferris wheel began moving. The kiss deepened as they neared the top, fireworks going off in front of them.

When they are forced away by their lungs, they rest their foreheads against each other's as they catch their breath. Composing themselves before they reach the bottom, Kay's expression unreadable.

'Did I do something wrong?'

Sensing the shift in her mood, Light texts Ryuzaki to have Watari pick them up. Kay said nothing while they waited or while in the car. When they were near the doors of the main lobby of headquarters, Light opens his mouth to ask what was wrong when she grabs his hand, still not looking at him. Her pace is almost a run as she drags him to the elevator. She impatiently and repeatedly presses the button to close the doors.

"Kay-"

She whips around, her expression tense. In one move, she presses herself against him, slamming her lips against his once more. His eyes widen in shock before he leans into the kiss, running one hand through her hair as the other rests on her lower back. The smell of her perfume was intoxicating to him, and his hands move to her hips, lifting her up. When the doors open again, he does not stop as he holds her while making his way to their apartment. Practically kicking the door open, he doesn't bother with the lights as he takes her to the bed, laying her down before climbing on top of her.

She grabs his face and pulls him closer to her as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. Tossing the top onto the floor, his arms slide under her back as her nails dig into his.

'This intensity...she's been craving this form of intimacy for a long time…'

Leaning back, he helps her take of her own shirt, throwing it to the carpet as well. His fingers teased at her bra strap as he begins sucking on her neck, making her moan. She desperately pulls down his pants as far as she can before he kicks them the rest of the way off.

The night was long and heavenly, hours spent exploring each other's body once again and pleasing each other until exhaustion overcame them. Crawling under the covers as the sun creeped up over the horizon, they fell asleep, Kay in Light's arms as she once had so long ago.


	37. XXXVII

Kay cursed Light's name. She cursed him and his heart. Light Yagami had convinced Ryuzaki that it would be better if she stayed behind while the plan to capture Kira came into play. While having Nozomi did have a number on her body, Kay knew that it wasn't enough to keep her away from the action. No, Light was behaving like a squirrel and storing her away, away from any danger. Yes, she was happy that he cared so much. But Kay knew she deserved to be there when everything went down.

She considered the possibility of leaving Nozomi with Misa while she snuck out to meet the confrontation, but hypotheticals running through her head convinced her otherwise. Misa truly was a wild card, and Kay wasn't one to gamble when it came to people she loved. The imagery of Misa killing Nozomi in a delusional state of her love in Light kept Kay with a firm grip on her daughter.

Light had been selfish when denying her the chance to see justice come to fruition, so Kay decided that she got to be a little selfish as well.

"Daddy's up in the sky, Nozo! And you don't know this yet, but every good chase needs ground control," Kay cooed to her daughter.

The young woman dressed in the darkest clothing she could find in her and Light's closets before doing the same for Nozomi.

"If we're going to be idiots, we might as well be smart about it."

Kay felt a twinge of guilt at bringing Nozomi with her into such a dangerous scene, but resides with herself that she would stay in the shadows. She was no fighter; merely an observer. Kay had worked tirelessly for this moment, and she was going to see the outcome live with her own two eyes rather than through some screen or a retelling.

Storing a pathetic knife she found in the kitchen into her jacket pocket, Kay slung a black backpack over her shoulder. On the extremely off chance that she came face-to-face with the action or even Kira himself, Kay had padded the inside of the backpack in case she needed to quickly hide Nozomi in it.

Reaching towards the exit of the headquarters that had been her home for several months, Kay finds that she can't leave; something heavy was holding her back.

'I need to see this. I have to see this. I deserve to see this!'

Her strength returned, Kay pushes out into the night air, already knowing which direction she needs to go on. With Nozomi clutches to her chest, Kay briskly walked through the city, listening to passing conversations about anything that would pique her interests. Thankfully, she doesn't, and moves on. Hearing a faint noise that didn't fit in with the rest of the scene, Kay tilts her head up to see a helicopter slowly move across the sky, and she couldn't help but compare the visual to that of a predator stalking its prey.

"Let's hope we're hunting down the same thing," Kay murmurs to herself before quickening her pace.

When she sees that one highway is blocked, she changed her route to go along it, somehow knowing that that was where she needs to be. She can see dozens of lights up ahead, and shouting, a lot of shouting.

Kay runs towards it, hoping that what she wanted, what she needed was indeed right in front of her. Slowing down as she neared the scene, Kay began sneaking along the outskirts of the standoff, bouncing Nozomi lightly to calm the infant.

Before her, there was a helicopter to her right, over a dozen police cars to her left, and, directly in front of her, was a red car with a man inside, strangely pointing a gun at his own head.

Forcing her eyes to adjust to both the light and darkness, Kay almost gasped in glee when she saw that it was Higuchi behind the wheel.

'This is it! This is the end of Kira!'

Kay watched from behind a barrier silently, her eyes and ears taking in as much as they can. She watched as someone she couldn't see shot Higuchi's gun out of his hand, and she ducked just in case it decided to go off. When it doesn't, Kay peeks back up to see three officers approach the car along with Soichiro. Higuchi is forced out and shoved to the ground, blindfolded.

She can faintly hear that there is talking, most-likely through headsets to wherever Ryuzaki is.

'He's probably in the helicopter. Is Light in there with him?'

Soichiro moves back towards the car and reaches through the open door, pulling out some black thing that Kay couldn't quite make out. Without warning, Mr. Yagami falls to the ground and begins screaming. Kay grits her teeth and suppresses the urge to run towards him and help. Instead, she watches as two other people grab the notebook and have the same reaction.

"Monster!"

'What is going on? What are they screaming at?'

Kay silently observed as the notebook is handed to whoever had been piloting the helicopter, and, a few seconds later, she hears Light screaming at whatever 'monster' she wasn't seeing. Covering Nozomi's ears, Kay shrinks down, the sound of her husband screaming as if in agony bouncing back and forth through her skull.

'Everyone wouldn't be so still if he was actually hurt. Everything is fine,' she mentally tells herself over and over again before getting the courage to look back up and over the barrier.

That, she realised, was a mistake. In front of her very eyes, she saw Higuchi curl into himself slightly before falling over, dead.

'What the hell?! Did someone shoot him?!'

But, based on the shocked reactions of everyone else, she somehow knew that it wasn't any of their doing.

She stared in nauseating horror at the body on the ground, realizing that Higuchi had died from a heart attack. Immediately, her mind jumped to one conclusion and one conclusion only.

'Another if not the real Kira is here. Or, at least, he can somehow see what's going on and decided that Higuchi needed to be silenced before the police could get any information out of him.'

Kay's eyes darted back and forth and all around her, searching the light and darkness for any hateful, inhuman eyes watching in.

Not finding anything, Kay returned her attention to the scene, her eyes glued to Higuchi's body.

'I thought victory would feel more fulfilling.'

But, deep down, Kay knew that she felt the lead in her stomach because she knew it wasn't over. Someone else had the same powers as Kira, whatever they may be. Kay had a feeling it had to do with the black thing that had been passed around and still resides in the helicopter now, and determined that she needed to get her hands on it. If it was somehow the container of the power Kira uses to kill people, Kay needed to see it for herself.

Reluctantly, she agreed with herself that it was over and snuck away from the scene in the hopes of getting back before they did. Although, Kay had a feeling that it was going to be awhile.

Once far enough away, she clutched Nozomi tightly before sprinting back to headquarters, barely managing to never bump into anyone else. She kept an eye on the skies for the helicopter, and made it back and snuck in unnoticed.

Rushing back to her room, Kay changed out of the dark clothes and did the same for Nozomi before unpacking the bag and storing the knife back in the kitchen.

'There! Almost as if I never left,' Kay thought to herself confidently.

She put her daughter down to sleep before grabbing the baby monitor and heading back downstairs to sit in the main lobby that she had worked in alongside her husband and the greatest detective in the world. Kay wondered whether they would stay here or get to go home since the case is over, closed.

But, then, Kay reminded herself of what she saw, and she knew that things weren't over. The game of Cat-and-Mouse is still very well in play.


	38. XXXVIII

Light sat at his desk, gazing at his monitor but not really seeing what was in front of him. Since regaining ownership of the Death Note, sleep comes in waves of only a few seconds, and his nerves have been everywhere.

He knew that he had lost his Goddess before he relinquished his powers, and he also knew that he had to keep Kay in the dark.

'Unlike Misa, if Kay were to touch the notebook and get her memories back, she will most definitely side against me now.'

Light closes his eyes and furrows his eyebrows in frustration.

'If I hadn't convinced Ryuzaki to keep Kay at Headquarters when hunting down Higuchi...I can no longer be so careless when it comes to my darling beloved.'

Another thing that was stressing Light out was the wedding band on his finger.

'I don't want to lose Kay, but I can't lose Misa's eyes. Misa won't talk to me anymore, and Kay goes stagnant at the mention of her. Women are so frustrating.'

Speaking of women, Light is pulled from his thoughts by Nozomi babbling and pulling on his shirt. Kay was off doing something somewhere that Light didn't care about, so he was on baby duty.

And thus, the third thing stressing him out.

While his memory was lost, he had somehow convinced Kay to keep their child, and Light was happy yet burdened by this. Yes, his heart soared with pride when he looked at Nozomi. But she was still a distraction, like her mother.

While he didn't know what to do about Kay, Nozomi, and Misa, he knew what he had to do about Ryuzaki.

He had to kill him, and Watari too. They were too much of a liability to be kept alive. An idea was already forming in his head, and he just needed Misa to get back from the woods.

"Light?"

Kira drops his intense glare and turns to see Kay walking up to him. She had an expression that Light couldn't read, and that worried him.

"Everything alright?" Light asks.

"You've been hunched over at your desk and staring at the same screen for far longer than it would take for you to analyze it. I could ask you the same question."

"Just thinking."

"Well, you should take a break," Kay says, picking Nozomi up from his lap and laying her on her chest.

Light looks her in the eyes, and his mind and heart ache. Oh how he longs for his Goddess to be in his arms again as the two of them make this world a better place. He yearned to be able to be in a place where both of them could righteously execute criminals again and be free of the prying eyes of the Task Force.

"To-Oh took me back. I'm taking a specially-designed exam week after next to see what classes I should be put in and what I already know enough to skip."

That calmed Light a bit. Kay would be leaving the investigation to continue her pursuit of her law degree once the next semester began; effectively moving her out of the way while also allowing Light to keep tabs on where she is and what she's doing.

"That's amazing!" Light exclaims, feigning interest and enthusiasm.

"I'm just sad that I'm gonna have to leave this little one every weekday," Kay coos, lifting Nozo up to rub their noses together, making the infant laugh.

"Makes this the perfect opportunity to make her Daddy's girl!"

"Have you fed her yet?"

"No."

"Okay. I'm gonna go do that then put her down for her nap."

"Okay."

And with that, Light is left alone to brood and stew. He began researching forums and public chats to see if anyone else had picked up on Kira's alliance with Yoshiba Productions. While it was necessary, it would still dampen Kira's image if society believed that he could be bought.

'Kira strives for justice; not wealth.'

Unable to find anything after almost an hour, Light satisfying concludes that everything is the same in the eyes of the public. Looking up at the large monitors mounted on the wall in front of him, he sees Misa entering the building, and he rushes up to greet her before she can be intercepted.

"Misa," he murmurs in her ear as he enveloped her in an embrace.

"Light," she breathes back.

"Did you get it?"

"Yes, but-!...I can't remember his name."

"It's okay."

"I-I made the eye deal again!"

Discreetly, she taps a piece of the Death Note against his skin, making the black-and-blue shinigami visible to the young man.

"Hello, Ryuk."

"Will you really love me forever, Light?"

"Yes."

"What about Kay?"

"She's an obligation. Our parents are old-fashioned and I had to do what I had to do. Once the baby is old enough, I will leave Kay so that you and I can go public with our love. My heart belongs to you," Light lies through his teeth.

"Oh, Light!"

"You should go now. Without the investigation, it's suspicious for you to be here."

Misa leaves after saying goodbye as if they'll never see each other again, and Light returns to the main lobby with Ryuk silently in tow.

'There's no way I can get Misa near Ryuzaki now. I'm going to have to convince Rem to kill L and Watari for me. Perhaps that can eliminate her in the process as well,' Light thinks to himself, the ends of his lips twitching up in a small smile.

Meanwhile, Kay and Matsuda were upstairs in Kay's apartment, talking about something that she wouldn't say out loud until she knew the cameras were disabled.

"I think Kira's still at large."

"What? That's impossible! We all saw Higuchi die!" Matsuda whisper-exclaims so as not to wake up Nozomi in the next room.

"Exactly. Don't you find it suspicious that he died right then? And by heart attack no less!"

"Well…"

"I think that not only does Kira still have his powers, but that he was there that night as well. The public didn't know that we knew it was Higuchi, and it was on the most unreliable news network on television. Kira couldn't have known that he needed to kill Higuchi then and there or that he needed to at all in the first place."

Matsuda leaned back into the corner of the couch, crossing his bent leg across his other. His eyes shift back and forth as he thinks over and analyze what he knows and takes into consideration what Kay is saying.

"I mean, I was able to sneak in and view everything that happened with a baby on me! Who's to say that no one else who saw Ryuzaki's helicopter or the dozen police cars followed them and bore witness to what happened that night?"

While he wouldn't say it out loud, a certain question ran through his mind.

'What if it was someone who was already there?'

He immediately drew a line to Light, but he didn't want to believe it even more than that the Kira case wasn't over. He thought he would have had a vendetta against Light, but he just couldn't bring himself to despite both their ties to Kay.

"Why didn't you bring this up with Ryuzaki?"

"You were the first person that came to mind when I decided to not keep this to myself."

"Thank you. For telling me-! I mean-"

"Ssh! Keep your voice down!" Kay whispers, straining an ear to listen for any noises from the nursery.

"Sorry," Matsuda mumbles, ducking his head in embarrassment before straightening back up when Kay looks at him again.

"Did I tell you that I got back in to To-Oh?"

"No? You're leaving the investigation?"

"Yes, but don't worry. I'll definitely still be around a lot," Kay reassures him.

"Well, yeah. Your father and husband are still heavily apart of it."

"And my best friend."

She playfully nudges his knee, signifying that it's him she's talking about.

'I'm her best friend?'

Matsuda hides his smile and blush by taking a long sip of the tea Kay had made for the two of them.


	39. XXXIX

**Sorry for the short chapter. It's more of a filler than a real plot-advancing one. But, I still like it, so here you go.**

* * *

Nozomi's life was good. She woke up when she wanted, ate when she wanted, and had tons of toys to play with. But something was off. Even she could sense that something had changed, and she could tell that the change was mostly with her father.

Kay was back at school and was gone most of the day, so Nozomi was either with Light, her grandparents, or by herself in her nursery. She didn't mind alone time, even at just a few months old, she took after her mother in the sense of appreciating the quiet.

While Nozo did miss her mother, Kay would always make up for her absence by allowing her to sleep in the bed with her and Light. She both loves it and hates it. Recently, a big monster has been standing around, and no one else seemed to see it. Or, at least, they didn't think they were seeing the same thing as her. She screamed and cried a lot when she first saw it, and wasn't able to calm down for almost an hour after the thing disappeared through a wall. The large monster was white and boney all over with purple hair and lips and stared at Nozomi with one feline-esk eye. Light had lightly scolded her about touching 'his notebook' when he took her to the nursery to calm down, but then laughed about something she didn't understand. She didn't like Light much anymore. He was closed off and scowled more than smiled, and he talked to her a lot more than he used to, but Nozo still doesn't understand what he's saying.

She truthfully preferred the man with black, shaggy hair in blue. The man didn't talk much, and he wasn't around a whole lot, at least where Nozomi could see, but he just always radiated joy and could make even her bottle fun. Plus, he and Kay seemed extra happy around each other. Playtime with the two of them after dinner was Nozomi's favorite time of day.

Yes, life was good for the little Yagami. At least, it was for now.

* * *

Kay dragged her feet across the stone path of campus, the sun far behind her. Her backpack weighed heavily on her, full of books ranging from published court cases to advanced law textbooks for courses she isn't even taking yet. Her eyelids drooped, and the cold rain bit at her skin mercilessly. Her stomach gnawed at itself from not having any food since the previous night, and a shower sounded heavenly to her.

Usually, Kay felt stupid about having to be picked up to be taken back to headquarters instead of walking, but she practically threw herself through the opened door before collapsing on the long, leather seat of the limo.

Falling asleep instantly, the ride went by blissfully, and Kay almost fought the driver when he told her she had to get out for they had arrived.

Begrudgingly making her way through the security measures, Kay walked into the lobby dreaming about her bed. Light and Ryuzaki were both still up, and they turned to greet her presence.

"Kay-san, you look unwell. Is everything alright?"

"I'm just exhausted is all."

"It's only 9 o'clock," Light points out, earning a glare from his wife.

"I was really engrossed in my studies and was only pulled away by the school librarian telling me that they were closing."

"Nozo was already fed, and I put her down about an hour ago."

"Mm. I'm going to go to bed too."

"Goodnight," Light replied emotionlessly, already swivelling back to face his work.

Kay didn't really know what the Task Force was doing anymore since they closed the Kira Case, but she was too tired to think about what Light and the others were up to. She just blinked slowly before turning to head to the elevators.

When the doors opened up on her floor, she walked out and stumbled along the hallway before getting to her room. Turning the knob, she was met with beautiful darkness, tempting her to crawl into bed immediately. But, instead, she blindly walked into the bathroom, having made the trip through the dark so many times to not need the light in order to see the right path. She kept the lights off as she stripped and stepped into the shower, relishing the warm water washing away the cold of the rain. She fought off sleep further as she turned off the water and stepped out, towelling herself off before wrapping another one around her hair.

Walking back out into the main area, she quietly finds her dresser and pulls on the first shirt she could get her hands on and some fresh underwear and socks. Newly dressed, she moved on to the last thing she had to do before going to bed. Her eyes now well adjusted to the pale moonlight peeking in through the slits of the curtains, she opens the door to the nursery and tiptoes over to the crib, leaning over to check on her daughter. Not wanting to risk waking the infant, she doesn't pick Nozomi up and instead gently brushes her check with her finger, smiling with love and joy in her heart. The weekend was finally here, which meant that Kay got to spend two full days with her family.

Sighing contently, Kay makes her way out of the nursery and silently shuts the door behind her before crawling into bed, pulling the covers up to her shoulder before wrapping her arms around her pillow, falling asleep once again almost instantaneously.


	40. XL

**Sorry for the long chapter, but also not sorry. Just a heads-up so that you can prepare yourselves (I'm looking at you, Hanz), the end is in sight as I plan for Chapter 50 to cap this fic off. So...yeah.**

* * *

Criminals were dying again; sixteen deaths reported all at once, all names and faces having been announced after the death of Higuchi. Kay was able to deduce that there was no way the dead man could have known about the criminals and set their execution ahead of time as Kira has before.

"Looks like you were right," Matsuda mumbles as they, along with the other members of the Task Force crowd around Aizawa's computer.

She had suspected, but Kay was hoping beyond hope that she was just being paranoid and that it was sheer coincidence. She thinks back to everything she had done while still a member of the Kira investigation, checking, re-checking, and re-checking again to see if she had done something wrong, if she had missed anything.

"But...we…"

Her hands ball into fists as she stares at the news article still on the screen in disbelief.

"We did…"

A single word began echoing and resonating in Kay's head, and she began trembling slightly as the word fought to escape her mouth. Her nose stings as tears well up in her eyes and she clenches her jaw, seething through her teeth.

"No!"

Everyone turns to look at her in shock at her outburst, but she can't look away from the title of the article: "KIRA STRIKES AGAIN!"

"Kay-" Soichiro begins, placing a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down.

"No!" she repeats, rolling her arm to shake away the gesture.

"Kay-"

"We did everything right! We won! Why isn't this over?"

The young woman's face twitches and scrunches up as she struggles to express what she's feeling.

"I'm frustrated too, but-" Light tries to say, only to stop himself when Kay tilts her head to look at him and he sees the fear in her eyes.

"Frustrated? He's supposed to be dead! We were supposed to be able to go back to our normal lives!"

Matsuda squeezes himself between Kay and the monitor, cutting her off from seeing it.

"We've defeated Kira once before. We can do it again."

"What if it's like that Hydra monster? What if, when we kill a Kira, two more pop up in his place?"

"Let's focus on the Kira of right now. Does anyone else find it suspicious that killings started up again right after Amane was released?" Ryuzaki asks, seeming rather unfazed.

At the mention of something she's familiar with, even if it is a woman she severely dislikes, Kay is able to ground herself, and she listens as she breathes deeply.

"This again?"

"Come on, Ryuzaki. Anyone who writes in the Death Note has to write another name within 13 days or else they die. Amane has already been proven innocent."

Looking to Light for help, even though she doesn't know how he could, Kay sees him wearing an odd expression. He was almost...smiling? He's looking at something behind him from the corner of his eye, but there's nothing there as far as Kay could tell.

'Is this shinigami everyone's been talking about there?'

Kay still found it utterly ridiculous that Ryuzaki and Light both agreed that she shouldn't touch the notebook and be able to see the supposed Death God.

L's reasoning was slightly more solid than Light's in the sense that he explained that, since she is no longer part of the case, there's simply no need for her to see it. He also hardly let the Death Note out of his grip. Does L ever sleep?

Kay begins pacing, and Touta walks beside her, speaking calming words to her without touching her.

"This was supposed to be over! We were supposed to be able to leave this all behind and pretend like it never happened! Light and I were supposed to buy a house near a park and good schools, I was supposed to become a lawyer, and Light was going to be a police officer!"

"All of that can still happen," Matsu coos, his quiet voice somehow louder than the rest of the commotion in the room.

"No, it can't! We're not safe as long as Kira is out there! Nozo isn't safe as long as we're tied to the investigation! Soichiro won't leave, Light won't leave. Hell, I'm not sure I can leave now!"

The others are still talking and arguing, but it's just static to her. Her mind jumped from her, Light, and Misa becoming suspects again to what future Nozomi could possibly have to playing the night Higuchi died over in her head, raking over every detail that could give her something, anything to grasp on to.

However, all of that comes to a screeching halt when the sound of a loud crash comes through the speakers of Ryuzaki's computer.

"Watari? Watari! What is it?"

"What's going on?" Kay asks, snapping out of it and focuses on the present, rushing to stand next to L.

Instead of an explanation or any sort of sound, the room is met with silence as the air thickens, threatening to crush everyone except Light, who knew what was happening.

"Watari, come in-!" L exclaims before he makes a short choking sound.

Kay turns and catches him as he falls against her, sending them both to the ground.

"What's going on?" Soichiro asks the room full of people with no answers.

With her hands supporting his head in her lap, Kay gazed down at Ryuzaki's pained and tired expression before snapping up.

"Well don't just stand there! Get a doctor!"

Mogi and Aizawa sprint away out of the room, and Light neals down to help cradle Ryuzaki as he dies.

"Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay," Kay coos to the older man, brushing the hair out of his face.

Their eyes lock, but he doesn't say anything. He can't, for Kay's promises are empty. They all know that nothing can stop the inevitable; Ryuzaki is dead.

Even though he took one last shuddering breath before his chest stopped rising and falling and his eyes closed, Kay still shakily whispers to him that everything is okay and reassured him that she's still there. But even that stops as Kay's throat closes up, and the room falls into a deadly silence.

"Kay…"

She lifts Ryuzaki's head up so that she can move her legs so that she's sitting on them, elevating the dead man's upper body.

"Come on. Wake up."

Matsuda exhales heavily before squeezing her shoulder, looking down at the depressing scene.

"Kay, he's gone."

Tears began cascading down her cheeks, and she bends over, arching her back so that she may rest her forehead against Ryuzaki's.

"We've got this, L. You can rest now. We can do it. We can-"

She knew she was in the calm before the storm, but Kay couldn't bring herself to assess what was happening. Instead, she just held his head as they waited for the doctor to arrive. She didn't look at Light for answers. She didn't look at Soichiro for stability. She didn't look at Matsuda for comfort. She didn't look, for she was afraid that they would disappear if she did.

She was still, listless for the next half hour until Ryuzaki's death was confirmed. That was when she snapped.

Wordlessly, she stormed out of the room and down one of the halls. Every voice in her head was screaming different things, all of them loud and all of them incoherent. Her body felt like it was going to jump out of her skin with every slight movement that she made. She was running on adrenaline alone, and she would not let it go to waste.

"Where are you, Shinigami! Show yourself, damnit!"

No one outside of the building, besides Aiber and Wedy, knew what L looked like, and no one at all knew his real name as far as Kay was aware of. With that information, the only person who could have killed Watari and L, the two men who saved her life and her daughter's, was the Shinigami.

Light followed her, but he somehow seemed to have more urgency that her.

They opened door after door, searching and scanning for answers in every room for some kind of sign of where the Shinigami is.

After a few minutes, Light called out for everyone to come to him. Within the room were computers, a large pile of dust in the middle of the floor, and-

"Is that…?"

"Watari," Soichiro breathes.

Kay had only seen the elder man once, and the memory was foggy and painful to remember, but she treasured it nonetheless. And now, to see her hero lifeless on the floor...Kay braced one hand against the wall and used the other to cover her mouth as she fought to swallow the bile in her throat.

"Kay? Are you alright?" Touta asked, reaching out to her as she looked like she was ready to pass out.

The room was tilting sideways, and Kay had to close her eyes to get the pins and needles out of her head. It was unbearably hot yet freezing cold at the same time, and she wanted to just will existence away so that she wouldn't have to feel or think anymore. There was a ringing in her ear, but it would be replaced by a suffocating silence if she focused on it. Time was still and yet moved impossibly fast without her permission. Reality felt fake, like a dream, and Kay put her back to the wall before sliding down it to sit down.

She doesn't even notice when everyone leaves except for Soichiro, who sits down next to her.

They're both stiff and quiet for several minutes, Soichiro's mind filled with words that he debates using to help his daughter while Kay was nothing. She stared, unblinking, at the tiled floor as her breaths were shaky.

Mr. Yagami knew better than to try and touch Kay then; she would just slap his hand away and fall into hysteria. He could see it in her eyes and the way her limbs wrapped around her own body protectively: she was a moment away from snapping. It was inevitable, but he wanted to be there for her when she would need him.

So, they sat there in silence for almost half an hour before Kay leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder, still not looking away from the floor. That scared him.

Kay had been expressive and animated, at least around him, when things were hard. Seeing her silent and pale as a ghost forced the impression that she was a scarred little girl all over again. The little girl who ran away from the Yagami Residence her second month there because that's what she knew how to do and couldn't trust stability. The little girl that would look for him after her therapy sessions and fall asleep in his lap as he drove them home. The little girl who couldn't even look at fire without screaming until she was six. The little girl who both trusted the world and didn't.

Soichiro's words were lost, so he instead just wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a sideways-embrace, not wanting to ever let go unless he knew that she felt safe.

"Can we go somewhere? Just you, me, and Nozo?"

Soichiro nearly missed that she had said something for her voice was so quiet, but he nods and stands up before helping her to her feet. The two leave the room, and he can't help but notice that Kay walks as if she's hiding behind him; the same angle as when she would clutch the back of his leg whenever a stranger was nearby.

The two went together up the elevator to get Nozomi from the nursery, and the three were together when they left the building. Soichiro didn't know where they were going, but he trusted that Kay did. They walked through the city and past the last hotel Task Force ever stayed out. Crossing the street with Nozomi clutched tightly to her chest as if the baby was her life force, Kay walked up to the tall, black, metal gates of the graveyard and pushes it open. The hinges give a loud creak in protest of lack of use, but Kay ignores it and shifts Nozomi into one arm so that Soichiro can hold her free hand.

He does, and she guides him over to a pair of gravestones and sits down in the small gap between them as if she has a thousand times already. Reading the names of the deceased, Soichiro stiffens as if he was caught breaking into a house.

'Why would she bring me here? Why would she even think to?'

Kay sits Nozomi in her lap before looking up at the man still standing behind her.

"It's okay. I've already told them about you."

Not sure what he should be thinking, Mr. Yagami still bows out of respect before walking around to sit behind the gravestones so that he couldn't see the names and lifespans anymore.

"You've come here before?"

"Yeah. I never told you because I didn't want you to think I was ungrateful, but I came here a lot whenever I felt alone."

"I see…"

"I've told them before how you took me in without hesitation and raised me as if I were your own daughter. And I told them about how you still loved me despite, well, you know…" she trailed off, looking down at Nozomi rather than finishing her sentence.

"I could never stop loving you."

Kay's lips twitched up into a smile before it quickly fades away.

"I actually found this place the second time I ran away. I didn't stay long, and I didn't come back for almost a year. But it felt too much like I was losing them again to stay away. This is the first time I've brought someone besides Touta here."

The last sentence struck a chord that vibrated through Soichiro and made him feel...weird. He wanted to ask what the man meant to her, but he also didn't want to hear the answer. It was so complicated, and he still wasn't completely sure what to make of the situation. On the one hand, Light was his son. On the other hand, Kay was his daughter. On yet another hand, Nozomi was his granddaughter. The most ideal scenario is that the two had waited until they were married already and weren't still kids themselves before having Nozomi. The most preferable solution is that Light and Kay stay together. But, would Soichiro still want that if Kay would be happier with someone else? Is she unhappy with Light? They've been best friends almost their whole lives, and seem to compliment each other so beautifully, but…

Mr. Yagami shakes his thoughts away and refocuses his attention on Kay and her needs in the present.

"Thank you, for bringing me here."

"I forget what they're like more and more every day, but you would have like them and they would have loved you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And they would love and spoil Nozomi if they were here."

"I'm sure they would have," Soichiro says soothingly, not certain on how else to respond.

"And they would've thanked Watari and Ryuzaki for the rest of their days after they saved my and Nozomi's lives."

'Oh.'

Dark clouds begin to roll in, and a gust of wind sends shivers down Soichiro's spine.

"We should get back before it starts raining. Nozomi might catch a cold."

"You're right."

They stand up and begin heading back to Headquarters, but Kay stops at an intersection, looking East rather than West.

"It's this way."

"I want to come home," she whispers, her voice soft and sad.

"What?"

She turns to look at him, and he sees the pain, the longing, in her eyes. Understanding, he places a hand on her back and the two cross the street in the direction of the Yagami Residence.

They make it just before the storm starts, and Soichiro slips away into his bedroom to call Aizawa and inform him about their location. Sachiko takes one look at Kay before asking Sayu to take Nozomi to the teen's room.

"Do you want some tea, dear?"

"Coffee, please."

Kay curls up on one of the cushions of the couch, wrapping herself in a blanket as she looks at the rain through the window. Sachiko doesn't ask, and Kay doesn't explain. The older woman prepares the beverage and grabs some chips from the cupboard before walking over into the living room, placing the refreshments on the table in front of Kay. She sits down next to her daughter and wordlessly wraps her in a hug, not too tight but not too loose.

"I feel like I don't deserve to cry. I don't get to grieve."

"You can't stop you heart from feeling what it feels."

"I hardly knew anything about them; I don't think anyone did really. And now no one will. They're dead; gone," Kay mumbles.

"I like to think that no one is truly gone until they're forgotten. As long as one person remembers, then the dead is still with us."

"I'll never forget them."

"Then they'll still always be with you."

Kay turns to look at Sachiko before shifting to lay her head in the elder woman's lap. Mrs. Yagami pats her daughter's hair in comforting silence that is broken soon after Kay is.

"I'm just...I'm so scared! I don't want to be alone again! I hated it!"

"I'm right here, dear. All of us are."

"But what if you won't be? Kira is still out there, and everyone I love, everyone I care about has some ties to him. If he were to ever find out about us…," Kay pauses as she takes a shuddering breath, "If he were to ever find out about us, he could kill us."

"I'm scared about that, too."

"What?"

"I wish your father had dropped out of the case along with the others at the PA a long time ago. I wish you and Light hadn't been apart of it at all and got to have normal lives."

"I…"

"But that's not in my power to dictate. I am the one thing in life I can control. I live life so that, if I were to die tomorrow, I would die satisfied. I don't take one second for granted and cherish each one I am given. I don't have the answers, and I don't know how to fix things. So, I focus on myself, clear my head, and move on. Humans live to die, and there's no getting around that or knowing when it will strike. So just live."

"Easier said than done."

"Everyone would be like that if it were, dear."

"...Thank you."

"Always. I love you so much," Sachiko says, leaning down to kiss Kay's head.

"I'm still scared."

"You wouldn't be human if you weren't. Come on. Let's go see how awkward Sayu is alone with the baby."

Kay laughs before sitting up and following the older woman upstairs, a small smile still lingering on her face.

* * *

The year after L and Watari died was Hell. Light took over both the roles that were lost to Kira. Thus, Task Force Headquarters was moved to their new house. Kay loved the house; she didn't like why Light decided to buy it. While it was near a park and Nozomi would end up being mapped into a good school, an apartment complex was also located nearby and Misa Amane just so happened to decide to take up residence there. Kay bit her tongue about her bitterness about the Kira case literally residing in her house and she stayed silent about how much it bothered her to have the woman that her husband had an affair with live just down the block.

She bit her tongue that Light was putting himself in harm's way more than ever before despite his reassurance that he won't be as confrontational as Ryuzaki was. She yielded and left them to themselves as she focused on her studies.

The new year came around, and Wedy died in an accident while on her motorcycle. In April, Aiber died of liver cancer. Kay made a mental note of this but found it to not hold any suspicion since motorcycles were dangerous and Aiber drank more than an alcoholic.

But then the men at Yoshiba died, all of heart attacks. That set off alarm bells in Kay's head, and she brought it up with Soichiro the next time she saw him.

Then, from the beginning to the end of May, supporters of Kira began flooding the internet with information that Kira could use to execute criminals after Light, as L, requested that news stations and media outlets stopped releasing such info. That made Kay want to scream until her throat was raw and her voice hoarse.

'How can they not see that what Kira is doing is wrong? It's sickening!' Kay thought to herself as she couldn't help but overhead what Task Force was saying in the other room.

Nozomi turned one, then two, then three. Light's attention was on the investigation, so Kay took care of their daughter, most of the time. Husband joined the NPA at the same time that Wife finished her studies far ahead of time by having taken only one year of undergraduate study and received her law degree a year early before beginning her works in the court, fighting the injustice of the world her way. She was praised for her astounding efforts and speed that she went through her education, but it was just muffled noises.

Toddler. Work. Toddler. Sleep. Repeat.

Matsuda and Kay hardly talked anymore, and even Light was too engrossed in his work to spend time with her. He would snap at her occasionally if she pushed for him to step away from work. Some days, it felt like the little gremlin running around and screaming was her only friend.

She had tried to reconnect with old friends, but they all just lived different lives from Kay and no longer had anything to talk about or do together.

Day in and day out, it felt like no one was getting anywhere. The investigation made no progress, court cases were all the same since Kira took out the murderers and thieves before they could face proper justice, and Kay felt like they were stuck in a loop.

* * *

Kay laid in the crook of Light's arm that was wrapped around her, her eyes closed but ears open. It hurt her head too much to pay close attention to the Kira case anymore, but she hated it more to not know what was happening. They were visiting the Yagami Residence along with Matsuda, so it was the three of them along with Soichiro and Sachiko. Nozomi was at a play-date and Sayu was at school.

Kay's eyes were closed because of her headache, but also because she didn't want to lol at Touta. Her answer was still the same as the one she gave him on her wedding day, but the reason has since dissolved. Kay felt like Light was a stranger with memories, and she hated it. It was as if he was a completely different person from who he was three years ago.

'Was it the death of L that changed him, as it did to me? Is the weight of his responsibilities changing him?'

They both looked at each other longingly when she could get him to turn away from his work, but neither knew how to get what they wanted. Kay was still none the wiser about who Kira really was, and Light yearned for a reality where she could and would accept him and reclaim her throne by his side as the God and Goddess of the new world that is falling in line with the approaching dark era of Kira.

Kay couldn't honestly say that she loved Light without hesitation anymore. She knew she wasn't happy in their marriage anymore. But, she couldn't honestly say that she would be happy out of it, either. So, she stayed true and closed her eyes on Matsuda's existence so that her heart won't break.

Sayu came through the door, but she didn't stay long as she had a paper due the next day. Almost on cue with the door closing, Soichiro's phone begins beeping, and he puts down his cup of tea before answering it.

"What is it, Aizawa?"

Light shifted to attempt to hear the conversation, and Kay straightened up as well as she didn't want to fall asleep.

"The director?! Kidnapped?! How did this happen?! No, wait. We shouldn't talk here. We're on our way back now. Matsuda, Light, come with me," Soichiro commands, ending the call before the last sentence as he stands up and throws on his coat.

Light and Matsuda spring up as well, rushing out the door without another word and leaving Sachiko and Kay staring after them with worry.


	41. XLI

And then the Director died. That felt like a punch in the gut for Kay. Soichiro became the new Director. That made her feel worse. Light snapped at her again when she tried to get him to come to bed. That made her cry for the first time in a while. Then she overheard upper-management say that they were going to have to lay people off due to Kira judging criminals before the courts could. She went home early after that.

That night, she read to Nozomi for almost an hour. When she finished the third book, Kay tucked her daughter into bed and leaned down before kissing her forehead.

"Sleep well, my little angel."

She walks away and has her hand on the light switch when Nozo shifts in her bed to be sitting up.

"Mama, what is love?" the little girl asks.

"It's hard to explain, baby girl. You never quite know it until you already have it," Kay explains, turning around to sit in a rocking chair next to the toddler's bed.

"What do you mean?"

"Love never turns out quite the way that you planned it. It makes you break all the rules. For love can make you happy. Then it makes you wary and afraid.

"You don't really see it coming till its standing right in front of you. When love comes, it takes you by surprise. It scares you, still you hope it stays forever. You will never be the same."

"Who do you love?"

"Well, Nozo, I love a lot of people. I love Grandma and Grandpa, I love Aunt Sayu, I love you-"

"Do you love Daddy?"

Kay's caught off guard by the question, and almost isn't certain if she heard right.

"...Of course I do."

She stood back up and left the room, having to lean against the closed door for a moment while she composed herself. She's a mother; she doesn't get to break anymore.

Kay made a turn at the end of the hallway, not towards her bedroom but to the living area, a.k.a. Task Force Headquarters.

Usually, she walks in with a forced smile on her face. Usually, she offers to brew or cook something for the team. Usually, she kisses the top of Light's head even though he never reacts. Usually, she tells them all goodnight. Usually, she's not on the brink of tears.

Kay didn't even look at them; she just walked past to get to the front door. Without a word, she puts on a coat and shoes before grabbing her house key and heading out into the rest of the world. Usually, she at least tells Light where she's going.

The Daily Grind has kept her from being outside much. Except for the commute to and from the train station for work and to pick up or drop of Nozomi from daycare or a friend's house.

Walking to the park that she always wants to take Light and Nozo to, she sits down on a bench and tilts her head up to look at the stars. If she looked down, she would cry.

Somewhere nearby, she hears the crunching of leaves that have abandoned their trees to decorate the ground. She brushes it off as an animal and doesn't look towards the direction of the noise. However, the crunching goes behind the bench and around before the perpetrator sits down next to her.

"The stars are even more beautiful to gaze at outside of the city. Even at night, there's so much light here," Matsuda says, leaning back so that he could watch the constellations.

Kay doesn't respond; the lump in her throat won't let her.

"I sometimes look up at the sky when I get overwhelmed. It helps me because, while I can't always see them, I know the stars are always there."

Hearing him talk about something that had nothing to do with everything that was going on in her head, she wanted him to stop talking so that the night would be quiet again.

"Please say something."

"What do you want me to say?" she croaks.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I want to run. I want to run so bad and leave everything behind because I don't know how to deal."

"Why would you want to run? You have an amazing daughter, a beautiful house, a husband, and a job that you love," Matsuda notes, thinking that he's being helpful.

"Are you serious?" Kay asks, finally looking at him.

"What?"

"Every time I love, I fall. Every time I get a chance to breathe, I choke. Every. Single. Time I feel safe, life shows me that I shouldn't. My parents died right in front of me in the car crash that I got to survive. The orphanage I went to burned down. I roamed the forest on the brink of starvation and dehydration until I passed out in a clearing full of police officers. I was bullied for having dead parents and ran away to the graveyard that I should never have stepped foot in."

Matsuda gazed at her, not allowing himself to move or speak so that she would finish.

"I found out I was pregnant by the man I never should have let myself love. One of my closest friends kissed me without my permission and got mad that I didn't like him back. I rode a bus that was held at gunpoint and I wasn't afraid. I wanted to laugh and tell the lunatic to bring it on. I lost the job that I loved and stopped talking to my best friend during the isolation I was forced into because I was accused of being a mass-murderer. And I momentarily went insane due to said isolation."

He could remember it vividly. Even through the screen, he could pinpoint the exact moment that Kay broke right in front of his eyes.

"My baby almost died before I could even hold her because I didn't have the energy to take care of myself. My heart stopped beating after I gave birth because there was no epidural and my daughter started coming out before I was fully-dilated. The father of my child cheated on me while I was pregnant, and I still married him. I thought Nozomi was safe for an entire week before Kira came back. Now it's been three years and not a day goes by where I'm not afraid that Kira will find us and kill her for my ignorance. My marriage is falling apart and I'm about to lose my job that I've worked towards my whole life to get and am passionate about. Please, Touta: please tell me again that I have a good life," she finished, choking on the last sentence as tears finally broke free and began rolling down her cheeks.

Matsuda looks at her for another moment before he leans back on the bench, returning his gaze to the skies.

"Love is for mortals and fools."

"Are you calling me a fool?"

"I'm calling you human. I'm calling you a human that's survived what would have taken down many others."

"Am I a good human?"

"What?" Touta asks, genuinely dumbfounded as to why Kay would ever ask such a question.

"Am I a good human even though I went to flee from everything I have?"

"I don't think that's what you really want. I think your brain has conditioned you to think that hardships are direct links to heartaches."

"Where the hell did you get that from?" Kay asks, suddenly feeling defensive, though she couldn't explain why.

"So I dabbled in psychology for a bit in college," he replies nonchalantly, shrugging his arms.

"I don't appreciate having my brain analyzed. Ryuzaki and my therapist did that enough for my taste."

"You don't have to hide behind your humour when you're with me."

Matsuda places a hand on her knee, pivoting his body to face her as he looked her in the eye so that she could see his seriousness. She looks back at him, not allowing herself to relish in the attention. Then, her phone goes off and she leans back, as he does.

'Where are you? Is Matsuda with you? - Light'

"Light, uh, wants me to come back home. Are you done for the night or are you heading home?"

"Heading home, but your house is on the way if you want me to walk you home."

"Sure."

The two stand up and begin walking side-by-side. Kay stares ahead, almost as if she were alone. But, when they get to her door, she spins around, grabbing his attention.

"Please don't tell Light about what I said."

'Why?' he thinks.

"Okay," he says instead.

She nods, smiling, before she turns back around and closes the door. Inside the house, Kay sees that Light has already sent everyone else home, so it was just the two of them. He is currently leaning against the back of the couch with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as he glares at her.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should've told you where I was going."

"Yeah, you should have. Because instead of working on the case that you abandoned, I was focused on worrying about you."

"I was just in the park-"

"With Matsuda," he finishes.

"Yeah, Touta was there. We talked for a bit."

"About what?"

"About the stresses of life."

Light fails to conceal a scoff, and Kay mirrors his expression.

"What."

"Why is it that you always go to him whenever you're feeling sad? Why do you never come to me? I'm your husband!"

"Keep your voice down. The baby is asleep. Although, I'm not surprised you didn't notice," she says, mumbling the last sentence.

Light straightens up and takes two strides towards her. She takes a step back.

"I love our daughter just as much as you! I work night and day, tirelessly, putting myself in danger, so that she can be safe."

"So do I! And I still make time for her!"

"You have so much time because you're not really making a difference."

"Excuse me? I work my butt off to lock the guilty up and set free the innocent," Kay says, censoring herself in case Nozomi by chance overhears what they're saying.

"And where has that gotten you? Huh? You're not doing anything for the mass!"

"And you're not doing anything for the family! I had to raise Nozomi myself with you in the next room over. You weren't there for her first steps or her first words. You never give her any attention, and you never give me any attention."

"You want attention? Fine."

Light closes the distance between them, grabbing her arm and crashing their lips together. Initially, she pushed against his chest, trying to get away. But, after a split-moment of hesitation, she gives in. She gives in to her cravings for his affection in exchange for her anger at him.

As if they were teenagers in love once more, Kay reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her mind was conflicted, so she ignored it all. She let Light do what he wanted. And what he wanted, was for them to go to the bedroom.

* * *

Three weeks later, Kay was visiting Sachiko and Sayu with Nozomi. The teen and the younger woman were alone currently as the elder mother offered to put the toddler down for a nap

"So what's new with you? Any big cases?" Sayu asks over the brim of her cup of tea.

"Mm, no cases…" Kay trails off, taking a sip of her own drink.

The black-haired girl stares at her quizzically, trying to decipher her tone.

"Have Light and Dad made any progress on their case?"

"No that I'm aware of."

"Then what's with that look on your face?"

"What look?"

"Like you're about to bubble over with joy," Sayu exclaims, giggling.

"Well, there is one thing," Kay says, smiling.

"What is it?"

Kay hesitates for a moment, not sure if it's wrong to tell someone besides Light first.

'I'll tell him as soon as I return home.'

"Best friend pinky promise you won't spill it as soon as I tell you?"

Lately, the two sisters have been growing closer and closer back together. Kay loved it, and it made her feel like less of an adult with crushing responsibilities when the two hung out.

"Best friend pinky promise!" Sayu confirms, locking their smallest fingers.

"I'm pregnant."

The girl squeals and hastily puts her cup on the side table before tackling her sister in a hug.

"Oh, my god! You're going to have another baby!"

Kay wraps her arms around her in return while trying to stifle laughter as she shushes her.

"Keep it down! I haven't told Sachiko yet."

"Does Light know?"

"Not yet. I'm going to tell him tonight."

"This is so exciting! I didn't know you guys were trying!"

"Yeah…"

To be truthful, Kay was somewhat feigning her excitement. On the one hand, she already loved it with all of her heart. On the other hand, the timing is somehow worse than when she got pregnant with Nozomi. She was almost scared to tell Light about the baby because she was afraid he would lash out again.

'He's always so hot or cold now. I never know what he's thinking anymore.'

Opening her purse, Kay pulled out the sonogram she had gotten earlier that morning. Handing it to Sayu to distract the girl so that she could think, she began a mental debate with herself against herself.

'Light deserves to know, and he's going to find out no matter what. Obviously. But he might be mad. Probably. I can't exactly go back in time to prevent us from having slept together. How am I going to tell him? I don't want him to be at his desk, staring at his monitor when I do.

'Is this a good idea? Weren't they fighting that night because Light hadn't been giving her and Nozomi enough attention? Now they're tossing another baby in the ring for him to possibly ignore.'

Kay did not want to raise this baby alone, as she had basically done with her daughter. So, she then started imagining the conversation that she'll have with Light, from telling him about the pregnancy to what she wants to change before the new arrival. That list circled the drain, and the real world was calling for her attention.

"Kay! Tell Mom the big news!" Sayu exclaims.

Kay turns her head, and sees Sachiko standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at her with apprehension but with a smile. Switching back into her empathetic self, she mirrors the older woman's emotions as she blindly takes the ultrasound photo back and holds it up.

"Oh, right, I'm pregnant!"

Cue screaming of joy, and cue Kay's anxiety escalating. She knew without a doubt that Light wouldn't react the way the women were, that wasn't his style even before they were forced to grow up. But, will it be the exact opposite? Will his screams be of rage? Will he accuse her of somehow, for some reason, doing this on purpose? Will he yell about how she knew he didn't need any more distractions?

Kay tapped the edge of her fingernail against the side of her mug, trying to focus on the noise it makes instead of the hypotheticals that were surely trying to give her a heart attack.

'Oh god.'

The thought clicks for her five hours after she herself found out. This baby will be in danger, too. Because of her previous ties to the Kira case and Light's current ties, this baby's fate had been sealed the moment it was conceived. In that moment, Kay's throat closed up and she wanted to hide away in someplace that was cool, dark, and quiet.

Kira is ruthless. He killed Lind L. Tailor because he said that he was going to find him. If he ever found out that Light has been actively working to take him down for over three years, the children aren't safe. None of them are.

Her face went pale, and the room felt unbearably hot. Excusing herself to the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face.

'How could I let this happen? How could I have been so careless? How could I put another child through this?'

Taking deep breaths, Kay looked herself in the eyes as she composed herself. Bracing her hands on the edges of the sink, she tilts her head down and closes her eyes. She refuses to let stress run throughout her pregnancy again. That almost killed her and Nozo could have been a still-born if Watari hadn't been there.

Kay decides to head home a few hours earlier than she had planned, saying that she couldn't wait any longer to tell Light about the news. But, in actuality, she just wanted some peace and quiet. That's why she left Nozomi at her grandparents' house. Granted, the plan was to come back for dinner to celebrate.

As Kay turned on to her street, her stomach began filling up with dread. But, tossing it up to nerves about Light, she continues on. Knowing he is home, she doesn't bother getting out her keys. Not sure whether he may be in contact with whoever this N guy was, she tried to be as silent as possible. When she closed the door behind her, she saw that no one was in the living room. Kay decides that she doesn't want the peace and quiet to go away, so she silently takes her shoes off and heads to the bedroom. She stops short outside the door when she hears two voices.

One belongs to Light and the other belongs to Misa.

Kay cupped a hand over her mouth so as not to let out an audible gasp. Misa. Was with Light. In the bedroom. Alone. And Kay could hear what they were saying as if she were standing directly next to them.

"Oh, Light! It's been three years! I want to tell the whole world about our love!"

"I know, Misa. But Nozomi isn't old enough yet, your career is still going strong, and I'm in the middle of the Kira case."

Kay couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Misa lived nearby, but the goth hadn't once made her presence known. Well, at least to Kay.

Frozen in her spot, she was forced to listen to even more.

"Tell me you love me, Light."

"I love you, Misa."

Kay's body moved without her command, and her hand put the sonogram back in her purse. Her other hand turned the doorknob. Her feet moved her forward into the room. Light and Misa jump back from each other's embrace, and their heads whip to the side to look at Kay.

"Kay!"

"Get the hell out of my house," she says coldly to Misa, staring the other woman down with hatred in her eyes.

The actress does as told, and sprints out of the house with her tail between her legs without saying a word. Even she can sense it. The hardest rains, the coldest winds; the world is waiting for the hurricane. The earth will shake, the sky will scream; Light will feel the power of the hurricane.

"Kay, I-"

"Shut up."

"But-!"

"Just shut up! I can't even look at you!"

Kay grabbed his pillow and a spare blanket, shoving them into his chest.

"You can sleep on the couch, you bastard. The only reason I'm not kicking you out altogether is for Nozomi's sake."

"You can't do this!"

"And you couldn't cheat on me with some skank! And yet here we are!"

"Let me explain!"

"What is there to say, Light? I heard what she said, and I heard what you said."

"Just listen to me!"

Kay suddenly appears to calm down, and she stands in front of Light, looking him directly in the eye.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to listen to you. I don't want anything to do with you. You broke me before and I trusted you to not do it again."

"I-"

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been having an affair?" she screams in his face, crying again far too soon.

Light looks helplessly at her, guilt consuming him.

"Three years."

"Three year-! Our entire marriage? Our daughter's entire life?" she breathes, her voice shaky as her entire being trembling.

He just gazes down, no longer able to look at her.

"How could you do this to me?"

Light extends his arms out and reaches towards her, hoping to calm her down.

"Don't...take another step in my direction. Don't think you can talk your way into my arms," she snarls, yanking her arm away and stepping back.

"I love you, Kay! Believe me!"

"Why should I? You cheated on me before and now you've done it again!"

'My goddess, it's only for her eyes. It's only for Kira's benefits to make this world a place our girl can live in!'

He couldn't explain to her his reason for the affair without revealing the Death Note and his role with it. He had debated countless times tearing a slip of paper from the notebook so that Kay could touch it and get her memories back. So that he could get her back. But he knew she wasn't ready. She wouldn't be able to see the future he does and she would turn against him.

"Why?"

"What?" he asks, his own voice croaking as a lump forms in his throat.

"Why did you have an affair? Did I not provide enough? Did I not love our daughter enough? Did I not love you enough?"

"It's not-"

"Is it her looks? Are you so vain that you would throw away our marriage, our lifetime long friendship for someone hot and famous?"

"No. I-"

"I need to call Sachiko and tell her that dinner is cancelled," Kay says, switching off and grabbing her phone.

"Dinner? What?"

Kay takes a shaky breath, and she puts her phone away. Instead, she pulls out the black-and-white picture.

"Yeah. We were going to have dinner tonight at home to celebrate that I'm pregnant," she explains emotionlessly, handing him the sonogram.

Light feels as if he was going to pass out, and Kay just stares at him, feeling as if her world has fallen apart.

"I'm having another baby. And when the time comes, you will explain to the children the pain and embarrassment you put their mother through. If you thought you were mine: don't."

"I'm so sorry."

"I hate you, Light Yagami. Congratulations."

* * *

 **I won't lie; this was painful to write.**


	42. XLII

For half an hour, she threw things as she yelled obscenities at him. For half an hour, she locked herself in the bathroom and was silent while he begged her to come out. Now, she wouldn't look at him as she paced around the living area, talking at him rather than to him.

"You tore me apart and into pieces! You shredded our marriage and let it burn! You've broken your promises and stomped on my heart! You really can't think you can take this back!"

Light followed a few strides behind Kay around the room as she moved about, using meaningless hand gestures and not looking at him. But he knew she was talking to him and expected him to listen.

"I let myself believe your lies! I forced myself to bend for your joy! I realize now you don't deserve it! You haven't earned it! I haven't earned this!"

She stopped in her tracks and whips around, walking up to him with anger and agony in her eyes.

"The humiliation, the desperation; no dedication to me!"

He can't bring himself to meet her fiery glare, and his gaze falls to the ground.

"I was a fool not to see you never loved me."

His head shoots up, and he opens his mouth to say something. But, her tear-streaked face and puffy eyes shut him up.

"If you loved me, you would have never been with her. You never would have loved her. If you loved me, you would have walked out the door too when I told her to get out."

The last sentence catches him off guard, and he feels himself crumbling inside. If only she could understand that his affair was an act of sacrifice for the world.

"Call her."

"What?"

"I said call her. Tell her that the affair is over. Tell her that you're breaking both of our hearts because you're a selfish bastard. Tell her that, if I see her anywhere near you or this house again, I won't hesitate to ruin her career."

Defeated, Light takes out his phone and dials Misa's number. Putting the call on speaker, he stares at the floor while he waits for her to pick up. When the call goes through, the model begins talking immediately.

"Oh, Light! That was so embarrassing!"

"Misa-"

"I mean, she told me to get out as if I was unwanted paparazzi or something!"

Light sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Misa, we need to talk."

"Oh, is this about Ki-"

"Yes, it's about Kay," he cuts her off so that she doesn't reveal what should still stay hidden for the time being.

The other line goes silent, but Light knows she would never hang up on him. He also knows that this won't actually put a damper on his and Misa's relationship. He had considered the possibility of being found out before, and he established a code-word with Misa so that she would know to keep executing criminals without his direct say.

"Our relationship is terminated. I can no longer see you. Goodbye."

He hangs up, his mind no longer corrupted by guilt and instead by emotionless Kira. Now, he just stares at Kay with cold eyes. For, in his head, he has done nothing wrong.

"Great. Good. Fantastic. Now get your coat," Kay tells him, a switch seeming to have flipped in her as well.

She rubbed her tears away and blinked several times before going into the bathroom to reapply makeup. Light doesn't move, however, and just stares after her. When she doesn't hear any sounds, she sticks her head out of the opened doorway.

"I said put your coat on; your shoes, too. We're supposed to be at your parents' in half an hour for dinner," she explains emotionlessly, her eyes now giving away nothing.

'What the hell is going on? She was enraged before, and now she's acting as if nothing has happened.'

Unmotivated, Light walks over to the front door and puts on his coat and shoes. Kay emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, her eyes still red and puffy. But, she had made the rest of her face look as if nothing was wrong.

"Now, when we get over there, my eyes are red and puffy because it was very emotional when I told you that we were having another baby. And, if anyone asks how I told you, explain that it was very special and that you want to keep it between just the two of us."

"I don't understand."

"Nothing bad has happened tonight. We are just a happy couple happily going to visit family to celebrate something wonderful. For tonight, there are no affairs. There is no skank; no betrayal. I would say that you can just stay at home if you can't handle that, but I don't exactly trust you to be by yourself anymore."

Her words were colder than the winds outside, yet her expression contradicted that. Her expression was blank, unreadable. Light just nodded his head and the two left. Normally, they would walk closely together, hand-in-hand, down the sidewalk. But now, Kay was a few paces ahead, her arms stiff at her side. Light trailed behind, looking on at his wife, confused by her motives.

Surely, she would still be crying. Surely, she would still be yelling. Surely, she wouldn't be the one trying to cover up the affair.

'Why is she doing this?'

Light genuinely couldn't see why she would do such a thing. As they neared the house, Kay's long stride shortened until she was abreast with her husband again. Before they turned the corner onto the street they grew up on, she takes his hand and forces her posture to relax. The two walk up to the door, and Light knocks three times.

Sachiko answers and delightfully hugs both of them on the front steps before stepping aside to let them in. Light glanced at Kay and even he, who knew something was wrong, couldn't tell based off of her body language and expression. She was playing the part that she had described perfectly and hit all her marks as if she were acting in a play.

'Go through the motions like the hands upon a clock,' she thought to herself.

Dinner was quickly served, and the family sat down at the table as they had done for many years; a time that seemed so long ago to Kay. Times were simpler then, easier. Better. The only things that seemed to have changed were that Light and Kay wore wedding bands and their daughter sat on a booster seat placed on an extra chair. Sachiko raved about having another grandchild, Sayu talked about what was new at school, Nozomi babbled about her favorite show, and Kay explained an interesting case she had, though it was a while ago since business was slow now. Soichiro was quiet because he was just happily listening to his family talk. But Light…Light wasn't hearing a thing. He was thinking, processing, planning.

'I can no longer have contact with Misa. But, with the way things are set up now, she can continue acting as Kira for the time being. I don't like that I can't keep an eye on her, but I'll have to make do for the time being. Maybe I should somehow get in contact with her to tell her to move. Kay is most-likely assuming that Misa lives nearby for the affair. If she were to be out of the equations, that might put Kay at ease, even just the smallest bit. Then, I won't be under her watchful eye as much anymore.

'Seeing Misa in person is out of the question from now on; I won't be able to fix that. But, we still have our phones and emails. I'll have to use something untraceable and can be erased or destroyed at a moment's notice. I can't use the communicators like I did with Rayne Pember. No, it will have to be silent. Physical mail can be intercepted, so that can't be used either. I can't use my computer since everyone on the Task Force has access to it whenever I use it. The phone company records and prints messages and calls onto our bills. Should I ask Misa for a phone on her account so that Kay will never see it? But if Kay ever saw the phone, that would raise tons of red flags for her.

'What do I do? I can't move anymore.'

Kay was in front of her daughter, in front of her little sister; she doesn't get to break down. That though is all that keeps her from even excusing herself to the bathroom to cry. She has to be the strong one, the stable one. Her marriage comes second. Her family comes first. Always. So, she eats the food on her plate, sips the water in her glass, and talks joyfully with a smile on her face.

When dinner is done, Kay helps Sachiko with the dishes before she leaves with her husband in tow and her daughter in her arms.

"Did you have fun at Grandma's?" she asks the toddler.

"Yeah, but I wish you were there!"

"Me too, baby. But, I don't have work tomorrow, so I can spend the whole day with you! How does that sound?"

Nozomi cheers and throws her arms in the air before wrapping them around her mother's neck in a hug.

The rest of the walk is silent. Light and Kay walk side-by-side for Nozomi's sake, and the facade continues. Kay gives her daughter a bath before helping her into her pyjamas.

"What are we gonna do tomorrow, Mama?"

"Whatever you want, Nozo!" she replies cheerfully.

Light was at his desk, working but not really.

"Can we go to the park? And to the bakery? And to Spaceland?"

Kay can't help but laugh at the little one's excitement, and her grief slips away for a moment. But then, it hits her again. It hits her hard. Her face changes, but only for a moment.

"Of course, little angel. You can even sleep in the bed with me tonight if you want!"

"Yay!"

The two girls finish brushing their teeth before they crawl under the covers of the master bed. Nozomi quickly curls up against Kay's side, and the two talk of plans for the next day until the young one falls asleep. Kay smiles as she tucks the hair in her face behind her ear before she carefully reaches over and turns off the lamp, erasing the light from the room. She soon falls asleep as well, snuggled up next to the joy in her life.

* * *

Kay pushed her daughter on the swingset as the little girl kept chanting "Higher!". Her facade of a smile masked the terrible dreams she had last night. No, nightmares is not the right word. They weren't scary dreams, just sad. The whole night was spent lucidly remembering the events of the previous day and twisting them to somehow being even worse. When she had woken up, she couldn't look Light in the eye anymore. It would just rile her up and tear her down to do so. So, instead, she just quietly stayed in the kitchen, sipping her cup of coffee until Nozomi woke up. They then both got dressed and left the house. Nozo said goodbye to Light; Kay didn't.

"Where's the new baby going to sleep?" the toddler asked, kicking her feet out of tune with the motions of the swing.

"We're going to convert the guest room into a nursery."

"Oh. Will it look like mine?"

"Maybe. The baby won't have a big-girl bed like you, though!" Kay coos, earning a small giggle.

"I'm gonna be the best big sister, Momma!"

"I'm sure you will."

Kay was smiling again, and that made Nozomi even happier. So, the two played on the swings and slides and seesaw until lunchtime. They then walk hand-in-hand across the street towards the bakery, where, of course, Nozo had wanted to go to for her last birthday. The bakery had gotten so much promotion from that party that Nozomi was granted a lifetime supply of cupcakes.

When the little bell chimes, noting the staff that the door opened, the cashier turned to look at them and smile.

"What will it be for you two ladies today?"

"A box of cheese tarts, please."

"How many?"

Kay looks down at her daughter, silently telling her to answer.

"Five!" she chirps.

"Five it is!"

"Yellow is my favorite color!" Nozomi explains to the cashier, referring to the color of the tarts.

The worker smiles as he takes their name for the order. As the place is somewhat crowded, Kay and Nozo sit down while they wait for their name to be called.

"Are we gonna go to Spaceland after this?"

"If that's still what you want."

"What do you want, Mommy?"

"For you to be happy, baby!" Kay exclaims, reaching across the table to cup her daughter's cheek in her hand.

"Yagami!" the cashier yells.

Kay stands up, followed by her daughter, and she grabs the box. After giving her thanks, the two leave the store.

"Can we eat them on the bus to Spaceland?" Nozomi asks, trying to grab the box.

"The bus to Spaceland?" the young mother mumbles.

 _"Call Spaceland and tell them to take out all the money they earned yesterday and put it in a bag for a woman to deliver to me in two stops! If I think any funny business is going on, I'll shoot everyone on this bus!"_

Kay blinks, taking in a sharp intake of air.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

Kay lets go of her daughter's hand and runs her own through her hair.

"Yes, sweetheart. The buses are always crowded on weekends. How about we walk instead?"

"Okay!"

Mother and child begin making their way towards the space-themed amusement park. While Nozomi currently wants to be a cop when she grows up, like her dad and grandpa, she still holds a passion in her heart for outer space. When the night skies are clear, she asks Kay to lay in the backyard with her so that they can stargaze together and talk about what may be out there.

On their way, they share the danishes, and Nozo speaks of her excitement for what they're going to do at Spaceland. Upon arrival, they played in the arcade, ate snacks, and rode the few rides that Nozomi was tall enough to go on. They posed with an astronaut, toured a retired rocket, and explored an exhibit about the different planets of the solar system.

By that time, Kay began feeling tired, and there was a dull ache echoing across her skull. She debated persisting through to give her daughter all of her attention, but decided against it as she could already hear Sachiko scolding her over pushing herself while pregnant.

"Say, Mommy's not feeling so well anymore. But I'm sure Aunt Sayu wants to play!" Kay offers.

"Okay!"

As luck would have it, the teen was in the shopping district a few blocks down and was more than happy to take her niece for the rest of the day. The two agree upon a place to meet up, and they begin making their way there.

After leaving Nozomi in Sayu's care, Kay walked the short distance home. She mumbled to Light where their daughter is when she walks in, and she goes to the bedroom and lays down.

'What the hell was that? Why do I feel so weird now?'

Just before she falls asleep, Light comes into the room. Very much awake again, she sits up on the bed. The two watch each other for a moment, neither saying anything or even moving. Then, he decides to break the silence.

"Are we going to talk?"

Kay stares at him, debating what to say and what to bite her tongue on for the sake of ending the conversation sooner.

"You came in with something to talk about. Just say it."

"I…"

Light had expected her to shut him out, and he momentarily stumbles on his words.

"Light, I have a really bad headache. If you don't have anything to say, then I would like to sleep for a bit before Sayu brings Nozo home."

'Please leave. Don't push it. I'll yell if we talk, and I'm not in the mood.'

Light accepts her excuse and leaves, closing the door behind him. Kay lets out a huff before falling back onto her pillow.

* * *

Kay slept longer than she had expected, and it was dark outside when she woke up. Rubbing the tiredness from her eyes, she gets up and leaves the bedroom. The quiet of the house sets off red flags for her, and she looks in Nozomi's room. Upon seeing it empty, Kay finds that she can't breathe right. Something in her gut was telling her that something was deeply wrong.

Sprinting out into the main area of the house, she sees Light at his desk, absorbed in his work. But Nozomi was nowhere to be found. Kay's blood turns to lead, and she is by Light's side in an instant, a hand on his shoulder.

"Where is she?"

Light returns to reality, and he stares at her with confusion before looking at a clock. Finally, they both think to check their phones. Their eyes grow wide as they see that everyone on the Task Force has called them repeatedly for almost half an hour. Without having to say anything, they break out in a run, dashing out of the house and down the street towards the Yagami Residence.

Light pulled out his phone again and called Soichiro, letting him know they were on their way. All Kay could hear was the pounding in her ears. All she could think of was the worst.

Turning onto the right street, Kay pulls ahead of Light and reaches the house first. Mr. Yagami was waiting for them in the open doorway, his expression helpless.

"It's Sayu and Nozomi; the American mafia has them and they want the Death Note in exchange."


	43. XLIII

Kay was dying. Her sister was taken hostage. Her daughter was taken hostage. And the only way to get them back was to make an impossible, an unforgivable trade.

Her daughter was in danger. Her daughter was out of her reach. She is powerless to do anything.

She was sitting on the floor against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest, forgetting how to breathe and feeling like a fish in the sky. How-? How was she supposed to fix this? How could this even happen?

Light, Soichiro, and the rest of the Task Force were arguing, yelling into each other's faces about what they should do. Kay couldn't stand to listen to either viewpoint. On the one hand, they were putting every person on Earth in danger in order to save just two. On the other hand, the two were her family. Acting on only emotion, she would give the rest of the world away for them in a heartbeat.

She trembled in her spot, one hand over her legs and the other clutching her head. Her pupils shrunk and dilated as the others walked in front of the light source. Of course they couldn't make the deal. But they have to make the deal. Damn the mafia! Damn them! Damn every single one of them! Kay just wanted her baby girl and sister back. But she would hate herself if she did what she had to do to get them. But she would hate herself if she gave up and abandoned them to die. That thought made Kay's blood run cold, and she momentarily went still before she began shivering again despite feeling unbearably hot.

Should they risk trying to risk tricking the mafia? One wrong move and she loses everything. But, if it goes well enough, she could get her daughter back. How could she even deceive them? The obvious answer is giving them a fake, but that comes with an obvious question. How could they get away with it?

They would have to be severly stupid to not test the Death Note before completing the trade. How does she get around that? Surley, they will test it on someone they can immediately confirm the death of. They will test it on someone in the hideout with them. It's the smartest but most predictable move, so Kay is confident that that is what they will do. How can they orchestrate that to fake it?

'The one who goes to make the trade can write the names in the real Death Note.'

As soon as Kay thinks that, she feels disgusted by it. Not only would that make the trader a murderer, but they would have to keep killing people for the rest of their life in order to avoid the '13 day' rule. Besides, there's no way they could pull it off in a way that wouldn't be suspicious. But is there?

Maybe, somehow, the trader could have a slip hidden somewhere on them that they can discreetly reach and write on. On the paper, everything but the last letter of the names of every mafia member they can find a picture of can be written down in preparation. Then the trader could just write down the last letter of the name they see being tested. But what if they can't see what name is being written down? Plus, they might write down the name of someone whose face isn't accessible.

"Where is the Death Note?" Kay asks, standing up and making everyone stop talking to look at her.

She still hasn't seen it despite it being in her house for three years. Until now, she had no interest in seeing it. In fact, part of her had wanted to ask to have it locked away somewhere else. She couldn't stand it being in her house whenever she thought about it.

'Kay can't touch the Death Note. She'll remember everything and I don't know what she'll do if she does. I could argue that she's not part of Task Force. But she'll argue that she's still involved because it's Nozomi and Sayu. What do I do?' Light thinks, glaring at the floor.

Matsuda gazes at Kay in silence, debating what she might be thinking. The first thing she says since finding out about Nozo and Sayu is about the Death Note. Is she saying that they should make the trade? She wouldn't. It's not in her character, in her nature, to do such a thing when she knows the consequences. So what is she planning?

"Didn't you hear me? I asked where it was," Kay repeats, her voice irritable.

Every second they waste just standing around is a second that Nozo is afraid and in danger.

'There's no getting around it. All I can do is hope that she stays quiet in favor of concentrating on getting Nozomi back. Damnit, Kay.'

Light moves first towards the safe, and the others follow so that they can all put in their pins. Aizawa is the one to take the notebook out. Kay extends her hand, and he gives it to her as he watches carefully, finding her motivations unclear. With the Death Note in her hands...she doesn't react. Light lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

'What's going on?'

Kay flipped the notebook open and sat down at the table, feigning to read over the rules. In actuality, it felt as if her insides were being ripped out of her chest. Her muscles locked up, and she clenched her jaw so that she wouldn't scream.

'I'm...Kira? All this pain, all this fear began because of me? Light...he's Kira. This is why he didn't want me to touch the Death Note. He's known this whole time. Misa. Is that what the affair is about? Does she have the eyes again? What do I do?'

Kay turns the page, her eyes slowly moving across the words.

'If I want to keep my memories, I will have to write a name down. Do I even want to remember? It'd be so much easier if I didn't. I could just let go of the Death Note, and I'll forget. Could I ever forgive myself if I did? I left the investigation because it was too much for me. I wasn't strong enough then.'

She wanted to claw at her throat, she wanted to charge Light, she wanted to hide away. She could do nothing of the sort. She flips to the back of the book to look at the rules she now knows are fake.

'I can't hide this time like I hid before. I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily. I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make. I can't give up my memories. Now it's time to step up. I refuse to back down. There's only one answer for me. I was the bad guy, but some justice at last will be served. I'm ready as I'll ever be.'

"What do you think we should do?" she asks the room.

As she predicted, they shoots back into arguing. Slowly and discreetly, she tears off a sliver of the Death Note and tucks it into her sleeve before closing the notebook and pushing it away to the other side of the table. The slip of paper was still touching her, so her memories remain intact.

"I need to get some air," she mumbled, knowing that at least one person will hear her and not question her absence.

Stepping out into the backyard, she finds Nozomi's chalk sticks and grabs the smallest one. She sits under a tree with her back to the house so that no one can see what she's doing. In the smallest writing she can manage, she begins scribing on the slip of paper.

'Misa Amane, motor accident. Goes into a coma for two weeks before dying due to brain damage.'

It's plausible, it's unsuspicious, and it takes away Light's eyes while permanently restoring Kay's memories. Part of her regrets it and wants to take it back before it can take effect, but she swallows her guilt. Tossing the chalk back onto the pile with the rest and tearing the paper into tiny pieces and scattering them, she returns inside.

Walking through the chaos, she grabs Light by the arm before guiding him into their bedroom. She glares at him for a moment, hatred in her eyes at knowing that he is an insane, unfeeling monster. In case there are any eavesdroppers on the other side of the closed door, she speaks to him in Finnish. She had learned the language after discovering her heritage, and Light had helped her practice numerous times, so she knows he will at least understand part of what she's saying.

"I have a plan to get our daughter back."

He stares at her in shock for a moment before he composes himself.

'She remembers. Well done, Kay. Not even I could tell.'

"What?"

"We need to make a fake for the trade. On the paper in your watch, write the names of the mafia members. You will go to make the deal. When you see who they are testing it on, finish the name on the slip so that the fake won't be revealed."

"Yes."

"When you get them back, get out as soon as you can. If they find out, it will get bad really fast."

Light nods his head, understanding what she wants of him. On the outside, he was neutral. On the inside, he was grinning.

'My goddess is back.'

That couldn't be farther from the truth.

* * *

A fake Death Note was made and switched out without the Task Force's knowledge. Once they confirmed with the mafia that they were going through with the trade and that Light was going to be the one to do it, they all bought tickets to go to America. Light would be going first, then Soichiro, Kay, and Matsuda, then Aizawa, then Mogi. Well, that was the plan. Light was intercepted, and was forced to get onto a different plane. A member stood close behind him and made him both put in an earpiece. Once seated, someone began speaking to him and giving him instructions. Over the plane's intercom, the pilot announced that they would be making a detour to drop off a passenger. The cabin went into panic mode, screaming of highjacking and death.

Meanwhile, Kay was panicking. This was not the plan. Now she couldn't be in contact with Light through the transaction. All she could do was wait for her own plane to land then try to get there as fast as she could. Soichiro had already gotten in contact with N, and they had secured a helicopter and possible coordinates for the hideout.

'Nozomi, we're coming for you. I promise.'

The ride was unbearably long and miserable. American customs takes forever, and she bursts out onto the streets of New York City after an eternity.

"Where is the helicopter?" she asks Soichiro.

She and Matsuda follow him to SPK's headquarters, where they get onto the new transport to quickly get to Los Angeles.

'Light, what is happening?'

* * *

Light sees the underground bunker open up in the middle of the desert at the same time that he sees a helicopter in the sky, and the voice in the earpiece tells him to go in. Upon entry, he sees Sayu and Nozomi in a quadrant of a clear tube.

"Daddy!" Nozo exclaims, trying to reach him through the barrier.

"It's going to be alright, Nozomi!"

On the opposite side stands a masked man with a gun. He explains how the trade will work and that neither can cross the other. Light is then instructed to open the Death Note and slide it through the slot to be tested for authenticity.

All goes well. He follows Kay's instructions, and the tube turns. Sayu, holding Nozomi, rushes out into Light's arms. He takes his daughter in his arms while the three hug. The man disappears with the notebook.

Light and Sayu turn to leave and go up the stairs when rapid footsteps are heard behind them.

"It's a fake!"

The bulletproof booth shoots down into the ground, and the masked man takes aim. Light and Sayu turn to run, Nozomi in his arms. Light hears the gun fire off just as they reach the surface and enter the view of the helicopter holding Kay and Soichiro.

Light turns around, and the bullet hits Nozomi in her chest rather than his back. The man, realizing he missed, flees back into the bunker. Light and Sayu can hear Kay scream from the helicopter before they see her jumping out and running towards them. Sayu runs to meet her halfway, but the older woman just places her hand on her little sister's back, pushing her behind her towards Soichiro, silently telling her to keep going.

Kay reaches Light, who has been stone-faced and silent as he stares at the sand. Kay takes Nozomi in her arms.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" she whispers, pulling down the collar of her daughter's shirt to see the wound.

Her voice was strained and choked with emotions as she checks for a pulse in Nozomi.

"I..." Light begins, his throat dry.

"Kay, Light...we need to get out of here!" they hear Soichiro yell to them, his voice echoing that he's crying.

But they couldn't move; neither of them could.

"Open your eyes! Please, Nozo! Nozo, I need you to open your eyes! Please! I'm right here! Open your eyes! Please! Nozo, please!" Kay whispered shakily to her daughter, rocking her.

Soichiro and Matsuda both got out and ran towards them, Touta getting there first and wrapping one arm around Kay and using his other to help support Nozomi's body.

"Look at me! Please!" she screams at her daughter, tears blinding her eyes.

Mr. Yagami pushed Light forward towards the helicopter with urgency as he wiped away his own tears.

On the ride to the nearest hospital, Kay whispered into Nozomi's ear through sobs and chokes.

"It's going to be okay, my baby girl! Everything's going to be okay! You're going to be okay!"

The girl was in her lap, completely still and cold. Kay knew this, but she just kept rubbing her cold cheek and switching between whispers and kissing her daughter's forehead. No one dared to look at the mother.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she feared the worst and hoped for the best.

"Please, God, don't take her away! Don't take her away from me! Please!" she sobbed, holding Nozomi closer.

She looked down again at her daughter, her relaxed face above her shirt covered in blood, and Kay couldn't form a thought anymore. She just tilted her head down to rest on top of her daughter's as her chest shook with every breath.

"When she was sad, I was there to dry her tears. And when was happy, so was I. And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. And when her life was in danger, I gave away the safety of everyone else's. And still, she..."

Matsuda decides that he can't let her talk through her grief anymore, and he places a hand on her shoulder, empathy in his heart and sadness in his eyes. Her face contorted in pain as she begins to silently sob between hiccups.

Her daughter's blood was spilling out onto her, and she wanted to crawl out of her skin. She never should have taken the risk. She should have had Light give them the real Death Note. Sayu was crying beside her. Soichiro was, too. But Kay couldn't cry yet. It would be too much if she let herself.

* * *

Around them, people spoke and moved around in the hospital. She just stared, silently, at nothing on the ground. Light sat next to her, but he didn't try to comfort her. He had tried and she yanked her hand away. Matsuda and Soichiro were there, but they were both pacing back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Kay couldn't even watch them because she was so drained.

The doctors said they would do everything they could, but the bullet wound was already infected. Kay knew. She couldn't form the thought, but she knew. Her little girl had been dead before she could even get her back in her arms.

How does one go on when their child can't? How can one breathe when their reason to has been ripped away?

Kay couldn't speak, she couldn't move, and even her mind, usually so full of thoughts and emotions, was barren. She existed and could do nothing more. Why would she? How could she?

Two surgeons came out, and she stopped listening after they began with an apology.

Nozomi Yagami, age 3, is dead.

How? How could someone who had barely been in the world already be taken out of it? How could the world be so rotten that something like this can even happen? Where is the justice? Is there any justice?

Kay stood up, and she left. She walked out of the building and down the street. And down another. Was someone following her? She didn't care. Where was she going? She didn't care. She didn't know this place anyway, so why did it matter where she was?

Kay was livid. Kay was grieving, and she was enraged. Is there even a word that effectively describes what a parent feels after the death of their child? There is no word for it. It's too unimaginable and unbearable to describe. No word would serve it justice.

Kay wanted to lock her grief far away from her heart, and her brain told her to run. She ran through crowds of people and across the streets without waiting for the cars to stop. She ran until her lungs burned and her legs gave out. Collapsing against a building on the outskirts of the city that dared to be alive, she clenched her teeth and began shaking. Finally, the thought breaks through that she is a mother without a child. The world shatters and Kay along with it. Tears cascade down her cheeks as she chokes and gasps between sobs.

"Nozomi!"

She tilts her head up to the skies that still dare to shine, and she screams. The agony resonates within her chest and she expels it as loudly as she can. She cries for the death of Nozomi. She screams for the corruption in humanity. She trembles for herself, a grieving mother wracked with the guilt of not being able to protect her daughter, the one person who needed and trusted in her protection.

"Nozomi!"

Kay wanted to keep screaming. She wanted to keep crying. She wanted to run as far away as she could. She wanted to break something. She wanted to die. She wanted to drink. She wanted to go back in time. And, for the first time in her life, she wanted to kill. She wanted to kill the man who fired the gun and everyone else involved.

Words were gone; all that was left was the haunting imprint of her daughter. The memories that she laughed and loved in. The words that echoed in Kay's ear. The regret that she hadn't been there for her.

With her muscles full of lead, she stuck to what she was already doing and didn't stop screaming until her throat was hoarse and didn't stop crying until her tear ducts were empty and her body was dehydrated.

Kay leaned over and let herself completely fall onto the ground, the weight of a boulder in her chest. She wanted to curl into herself and cease to exist until the pain went away. No, she wanted her daughter back; happy and alive and in her arms, safe and sound. Such a simple thing that will forever be denied to her for the rest of eternity.

Kay stared listlessly at the ground beside her, but she saw nothing. She heard nothing. She felt nothing. She said nothing. She was nothing. Nothing but a shell of the person she had been a week ago.

"Why couldn't I just have a minute more?" she chokes.

 _Both parents stare down at their daughter, thinking of what to call her._

 _"Nozomi."_

 _"Wish and Hope?"_

 _"Yeah…"_

 _"It's perfect. It's perfect for her. Nozomi…" he trails off, stroking the tuft of hair already on her head._

Kay reached her arm out, wishing that her daughter was there to reach back. But she wasn't. The mother blinked slowly, her breathing shallow.

 _Kay hummed a nursery rhyme as she poured warm water down the back of Nozomi's head, trying to keep the baby calm as she gave her a bath in the bathroom sink. The newborn played with a plastic rattle, struggling to keep a grip on it._

 _Kay smiled as she washed the infant's hair, her mind refusing to wander anywhere else besides what was directly in front of her._

 _"Do you like baths, Nozo?" she asks playfully, grabbing her daughter's attention._

 _The baby's eyes lit up and she pointed the rattle at Kay._

 _"For me?"_

 _She takes the rattle and shakes it lightly, earning an enthusiastic babble. Kay beams before placing it back within Nozomi's reach and returning to the task of rinsing her off._

Darkness is the absence of light. Cold is the absence of heat. Hate is the absence of love. Kay is the absence of Nozomi. Was this her fault? Had she not given her daughter to Sayu, would she still be alive? If she had gone to make the negotiation, would the gunman not have fired? Would Nozomi still be alive had Kay held true to giving her daughter up for adoption, pushing her out of the way of danger that comes with conspiring against Kira?

What-ifs, hypotheticals, and blame run through her head, again and again, until she can't take it anymore. Closing her eyes, she yield consciousness in favor of nothingness.


	44. XLIV

**Fuck you.**

* * *

Light found Kay after nightfall, and he took her into his arms before returning to the hospital. She was placed under observation for the night and they put an IV in her arm to help with her dehydration. Light stayed by her side the entire night, even when she woke up and wanted to see their daughter in the morgue. Soichiro stayed with Sayu as he kept his wife in the loop as to what was happening. Touta couldn't stand it anymore, and he had left to go meet up with the other members of the Task Force upon their landing. He couldn't get through telling them what happened before bursting into tears and falling on his knees. The night was quiet except for the soft crying.

Kay knew what she would see. She knew that it wouldn't do her any good to go. But she went anyway. Light tried to support her on their way through the hospital, but she shoved him away with enough force to knock herself back. She doesn't want anyone to touch her, much less him. Kay knows what she saw out there in the desert. But she can't think about that. Not now.

Now, the mortician leads them over to the small, black bag before unzipping it. Kay gasped before crumbling, shaking, as she cupped a hand over her mouth to muffle her cries.

So cold. So pale. So lifeless. Too young. Her daughter's eyes were closed, and they would never open again. Her daughter's arms were stiff at her side, and they would never be able to embrace Kay again. Her lips were blue, never to emit laughter again.

Kay stayed on the ground, but her free hand reached up to hold her daughter's. Light stood, stoic, beside her, beside himself. He was not grieving for his daughter. There was no sadness in his heart; only hatred. Hatred towards the mafia, hatred towards the gunman, hatred towards Kay. If she had just brought Nozomi home with her, this never would have happened. But, at least, he still had the Death Note. He got a call from one of Misa's cells, but he silenced it, not in the mood to talk to her. He'll deal with having ignored her later. He looks down at his wife on the ground, trembling and crying loudly, the hand over her mouth now gripping the pole holding her IV bag, her knuckles white.

"Mrs. Yagami-" the mortician began, but was cut off when she looked up at him.

Her eyes. Her eyes were unbearable, impossible to look at. Betrayal, diminished hope, love, and grief resided within her, and they showed the most in her eyes. So, instead of asking about funeral arrangements, he just offers her a chair. He didn't look her in the eye after that.

Kay had so much to say to her daughter, though she knew she wouldn't hear her words. But, the young woman couldn't bring herself to speak. If she tried, it wouldn't be any better if she just stayed silent. So, that's what she did. She didn't say a word.

-/-/-/-

They flew back to Japan, all on a private plane loaned by N for "successfully retrieving one of the hostages without handing over the Death Note." Nozomi was kept in a cooler in the back, and Kay couldn't think about that without getting sick to her stomach.

When they landed, Sachiko was at the airport gates, covering her mouth as she quietly cried. She embraced her daughters, her son, and her husband.

 _"It's so good to see you all again! You have to visit more often, Light and-!"_

 _She had been hugging the Yagami men, but froze when she got to Kay, noticing what she was holding for the first time. Kay froze too, her throat closing up and the room suddenly becoming very hot. Sachiko stared at the infant in confusion before realization dawns on her face._

 _"Is this-?"_

 _"Our baby," Light finishes, establishing his involvement directly._

 _His mom gazed at him before switching to Kay, then to the baby, then back to him._

 _"Mom?" he questions when he sees tears well up in her eyes._

 _"What's her name?"_

 _"Nozomi," Kay answers, finally finding her voice._

 _She gasps when she finds herself wrapped in a hug. The baby wakes up, fussy but not crying._

 _"It's nice to meet you!" Sachiko says, bending down slightly to be eye-level with her granddaughter._

Kay and Light went home with them, in too much of a daze to be alone. Sayu was also silent, soulless. That night, Kay didn't sleep because she knew Nozomi would be in her dreams again. That night, Aizawa held his two children closer. That night, Mogi and Ide went to get a drink. That night, Touta cried alone in his apartment in the dark while clutching his pillow to his chest.

 _He looks down at the baby, who is laughing at the toy he was holding. When Nozomi started fussing, he grabbed the bottle of milk off the table and tilted it down as he rocked the baby. He stared down lovingly as if he were feeding his own daughter._

When the morning sun rose, Kay and Light departed wordlessly. Kay knew she wasn't ready for what she would feel, but her feet wouldn't stop moving; her mind wouldn't stop reeling. Opening the door, the light outside barely touched inside, casting the house in dark shadows. But Kay wasn't paying attention to that. What she noticed was the ringing in her ears. The ringing that was compensating for the silence, for the echo of the child that would never get to come home again, would never get to run around and play and holler and scream with laughter again.

Kay's knees wobbled, daring to buckle and make her fall over, but she remained standing. She walked by the living room full of toys to contrast the Task Force's setup. She moved past the pictures of Nozomi, of happiness. She gravitated towards the nursery, slowly opening the door. It was dark in that room as well, casting shadows onto the toys and other things that made the room colorful. Even the stuffed bunny with a yellow bow around its neck looked as if it was grieving. Kay went to the rocking chair by the bookshelf and sat down, looking at the empty bed.

 _Her gaze falls upon the crib, which looks like a bed made for a princess, with the kajan signs for Nozomi's name above it._

' _Can we do this?'_

Kay didn't say a word, and neither did Light as he leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, gazing at his wife. Kira wasn't on his mind, so his heart was open for his grievances to flood in.

 _Upon entry, he sees Sayu and Nozomi in a quadrant of a clear tube._

" _Daddy!" Nozo exclaims, trying to reach him through the barrier._

" _It's going to be alright, Nozomi!"_

 _All goes well. He follows Kay's instructions, and the tube turns. Sayu, holding Nozomi, rushes out into Light's arms. He takes his daughter in his arms while the three hug._

He wished the gun hadn't fired, but he didn't wish that he hadn't turned around. The world still needed Kira, still needed him. He couldn't abandon it in favor of trading his life for his daughter's. That reasoning shuts his emotions off in favor of his twisted version of logic, and he leaves. He walks over to his desk, sits down as he puts on his headset, and initiates a call with N to discuss their next move.

* * *

The funeral was the next day. In attendance were Soichiro, Sachiko, Sayu, Mogi, Aizawa, Ide, Matsuda, Light, and Kay, all wearing black in contrast to Nozomi's pastel yellow dress. The wake was short and informal as a Buddhist priest was not summoned to speak. The skies were clear and the sun shone bright, much to the bitterness of Kay.

Surely, children would be out playing on a good day like this. Their laughter would battle the silence of a weekday and their games would last until nightfall. But one child would not be joining them. One child would never get to play with them again.

A lump formed in Kay's throat as tears stung her eyes. Sachiko noticed and squeezed her hand tighter in reassurance that she wasn't alone. But she was. No one else mattered. No one else could possibly understand. Nozomi was dead. Her child was dead.

She left before they began the cremation ceremony.

Through the streets, she walked in her black dress. Through the world, she walked in her dark daze. She looked up to the sky, willing her tears to go away as her breathing passed between shallow and desperate. She wanted to claw at her throat. She wanted to let herself follow down onto the ground and never get up. But she never stopped walking. She didn't stop until she reached the park near her house. Sitting down on one of the swings, she gripped the chains and just swayed slightly as she gazed at nothing on the ground.

'My Nozo is dead. My daughter doesn't exist anymore outside of the past. I can't breathe.'

Kay closes her eyes and tilts her head down low, obscuring her face as she cries quietly on the very swing she was pushing her daughter on just a few days ago.

A few moments later, she couldn't stand the paranoia that everyone was looking at her, judging her. So, she went home. As before, the house is empty, still, and quiet. Kay hates the quiet now. It gives way to her intrusive thoughts; thoughts that she can't handle. Walking down the hallway, she stares straight forward at the door to her bedroom, not letting herself steal a glance at the nursery with the door cracked open.

She couldn't get out of her dress fast enough, and she balls the fabric up before tossing it into the hamper. Changing back into her pyjamas, she lays on the bed with her legs dangling off as she watches the blades of the ceiling fan whirl around.

The front door opens, and Kay assumes that it's Light. Surprisingly, Touta walks into the bedroom. There is no greeting, no hesitation. He takes off his black overshirt before laying down on the bed with her. Smoothly, he nudges her onto her side before wrapping his arms around her in an embrace. Closing his eyes, he listens judgelessly as she covers her face with her hands and sobs until she can no more.

* * *

It's been six days since the funeral. Kay moved around as if she were a ghost, not saying anything and not really seeing anything. She was absent from the reality she couldn't stand to be apart of.

The first time she did laundry again, one of Nozomi's socks fell out of the dryer. Kay sat down on the floor and just held it to her chest, silently, until Light came in and took the sock away before finishing taking out the clothes and putting them away.

She made coffee one morning, and, after pressing the button to brew the drink, she opened the cupboard and placed a jar of baby food on the empty high chair out of habit and muscle memory. When she realized what she did, she put the container back and laid in bed the rest of the day, the coffee untouched.

Some nights, she couldn't stand to be in the house and would just wander around the city until sunrise. Other nights, she slept in the nursery on the floor surrounded by Nozomi's toys, which she would then put back exactly where they were when the mornings came.

When she had to step outside into the backyard one night so that the house would stop suffocating her, she made the mistake of looking down at the cement illuminated by the outside lights, seeing the scattered chalk on the ground that was decorated in Nozomi's drawings of happy suns, butterflies and animals, rainbows, and her family playing and smiling. Part of Kay wanted to scratch it all out until she couldn't see it anymore, but part of her wanted it to go untouched forever. She sits down on the cushioned porch-swing and looks up at the stars.

"It's cold out here," Light says from the open doorway.

She either doesn't hear him or chooses that she hadn't, for she still looks to the skies for the answers she can't be given to the questions she never should have had to ask.

 _Some days, it felt like the little gremlin running around and screaming was her only friend._

The tears were there, in the corner of her eye, but she was too tired to cry, too tired to outwardly grieve.

'She hasn't said a word since I found her in that alley. What the hell is she thinking?'

In short, everything. In short, nothing. The songbird has been swallowed up by flames and smoke. The grandfather clock has rusted away. The bell in its tower has been cracked. Does she even have a voice anymore? Would only croaks come out if she tried to say anything? She can't even tether her thoughts together enough to form proper words; they're too scattered to be comprehensible.

Her hands rested in her lap, her palms facing the night. Even the stars seemed empty, lacking a purpose without Nozomi to gaze at them with wonder and amazement.

Light, realizing that she's not going to budge, reaches back inside to grab a blanket off the couch before walking over to the swing and wrapping it around her. Knowing better, he does not sit next to her. She sat in the middle, unwilling to let anyone be beside her. He goes back inside.

* * *

It's been two weeks since Nozomi died. Misa Amane was dead, but neither the Task Force nor the Yagamis said anything about it. Light had his suspicions, but didn't see it as much of an issue as the actress was a risky piece to keep at play anyways. But, he did need to find new eyes and his wife was still wordless, lifeless.

Kay sat in the grass next to Sayu's wheelchair, neither of them speaking. The teen stared ahead at nothing while Kay gazed up at the clouds, her legs drawn as close as she could to her chest. Kay ate and drank as much as her doctor told her to and slept just long enough to be healthy, but she did nothing more. She couldn't muster the energy to do anything more. She was just so tired.

She avoided the park, she avoided the apple orchard, and she avoided the bakery that had unknowingly and cheerfully asked where Nozomi was when she had gone in to get something to eat on her walk around the city. Kay had run back out the door before it even had time to fully close. The question was too much to answer.

Everything was too much. The days were too long, and the nights were too quiet. The storms are raging on the rolling ocean and on the highway of regret. The winds of change are blowing wild and free, and it was too much to handle. She was listless, helpless, hopeless.

Sachiko walked up behind her two daughters, and looked at them silently, despair in her heart. She could do nothing for either of their pains, and she could do nothing for her own. She turned back around, and walked into the house. Kay and Sayu were left alone again.

"One last time," the elder one says, her face relaxed and her eyes dry for the first time since L.A.

The teen continues staring at that one point in the distance, not saying a word or giving an indication that she actually heard her.

"One last time, I want to hold her. I want to play one of her favorite games with her. I want to have one of our little dance parties where we jump around and laugh because we're just so happy."

Kay looks down, her breath shuddered as she steels herself, making herself keep talking.

"I...I want to tell her again how much I love her and for her to say the same thing. One last time, I want to be able to kiss her head and having almost everything right in the world."

Light tremors echoed throughout her body, making her shake as she speaks, her voice getting higher as her heart tears deeper.

"One...last...time...I want to be able to tell her goodbye."

Kay lowers her head to rest on her knees before she quietly sobs, a physical ache in her chest. She wanted to reach out to Sachiko, Soichiro, and to her mom and dad. She wanted to be held in their arms and be told that everything was alright and that she didn't have to be in pain anymore.

"I was supposed to teach her so many more things. She never learned how to read, she never got to go to school and make friends. She never got a coming-of-age ceremony or learned how to put on makeup. I never got to help her with homework or comfort her after her bad days."

Kay couldn't keep going anymore, it hurt too much to think about. Standing up, she grabs the handles of the wheelchair and pushes her sister through the meadow and back to the house, switching hands as she walked so that she could dry her tears.

* * *

There, on Sakura TV, Light found his new eyes. Teru Mikami, a smart lawyer with allegiance to Kira. Using Misa's old notebook, which Ryuk is tied to, Light easily finds Mikami's address and carefully forms an envelope containing the Death Note along with a letter containing an explanation along with rules, threatening to take him out if he disobeys. But Light knows that he won't. Teru is much like him, and will follow orders willingly and precisely.

The pieces of the new world are quickly falling into place. All Light has to do is be patient and not make an unnecessary moves.


	45. XLV

Light sat at his desk, having just gotten off from an annoying call with N. Now the house was quiet except for the clicking of everyone's keyboards behind and to the side of him. He felt their eyes on him, which also annoyed him. He knew they were waiting for him to break; he still hadn't cried yet. But he didn't feel like crying. There was no grief in his heart nor any guilt in his head. Through his eyes, a young sacrifice had to be made in order to keep cleansing the world of the human stains and sins. Yes, the sacrifice was his own daughter, and his pride for her was missing from him. But that was it. He had no time to break down and cry; he had a job to do.

 _Misa Amane was dead, which was both a blessing and a curse. No more dealing with the ditz, but now he had to find new eyes. Yet another thing that was annoying him. But that issue would be quickly resolved. Matsuda watches "Kira's Kingdom". Perfect place to find a replacement, one who is loyal and wise like him; someone who will know and follow his commands without any communication beyond necessity._

There, on Sakura TV, Light found his new eyes. Teru Mikami, a smart lawyer with allegiance to Kira. Using Misa's old notebook, which Ryuk is tied to, Light easily finds Mikami's address and carefully forms an envelope containing the Death Note along with a letter containing an explanation along with rules, threatening to take him out if he disobeys. But Light knows that he won't. Teru is much like him, and will follow orders willingly and precisely.

The pieces of the new world are quickly falling into place. All Light has to do is be patient and not make an unnecessary moves.

Light was an impatient man, but he had mastered the art of pushing his annoyance down in favor of reaching his goals. Everything was falling into place and distractions were dying off. Soon, he would be able to openly be the god of his new world.

'Just be patient.'

He also needed to figure out who N was so that he could be eliminated. It felt repetitive, as if he was facing L all over again. It was such a nuisance to deal with; like a fly that keeps buzzing around his head. Light was so angry all the time. Everyone was getting on his nerves, and he couldn't be bothered to hide it from them. There was tension wherever he went, and that annoyed him more than anything. Oh, how he wished he could already do away with the Task Force; things would be so much simpler for him.

'Of course, that would then basically be putting on a billboard that I'm Kira.'

"Light? Are you alright?"

Light turns in his chair to see Soichiro gazing at him with sadness and worry.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm fine."

"Maybe you should take a break. You've been working so hard and I haven't seen you get up since yesterday mor-"

"I said I'm fine!"

The room fell back into silence except for the clicking of keyboards, and Light was okay with that. He didn't need something pulling his attention away from his thoughts. There was a buzzing in his pocket, but he ignored his phone; instead putting it on silent.

"Light, there's been a report of an eye-witness account of someone seeing a man that looks like Mello."

"Where?"

"New York City."

"I'm calling N again."

Putting his headset back on, Light begins a call on his monitor. It takes a moment, but N picks up, sounding annoyed.

"What is it?"

"N, there's been a report about Mello in New York-"

"Yes, I'm already aware that he's here."

'Here?'

"What do you mean, N?"

"I mean, Mello already came to see me to collect the one remaining photo of him; not that you would care about that, L Two."

"He knows where the SPK is? He was able to get inside?"

"So many questions that really don't concern you," N said, taunting Light by keeping him in the dark.

"Where is he?" Light asked, trying to keep the hatred out of his voice and expression.

"Why are you so interested in Mello's whereabouts? He doesn't have a Death Note."

"N, I'm not in the mood to play games."

"That's such a shame; I do love playing them."

"Are you going to answer my question or not?" Light exclaimed, his temper running thin.

There's a pause on N's end, and Light's mood dwindles down into confusion before the line sparkles back to life.

"Very well. I'm not certain of his exact location, but he's in this general area."

Light's screen is filled with a map of New York, and a pinpoint appears on the outskirts. Then, N severs the call without his signature signoff.

"Light? What are you thinking?" Matsuda asks.

"Dad, do we have access to the NPA's armory?"

"Light…"

'Hide the motivation.'

"My daughter is dead."

He cuts himself off at that, finding the silence will fill their willingness.

"I am the director of the NPA; I have access to everything within the police force. But, Light, are you sure you want to do this?"

"If we wait, Kira might smoke him out and kill him off. He is a part of the mafia, after all."

"What are you suggesting we do?"

"We storm the place and take them down ourselves."

"Light, that sounds very dangerous. And for what?" Aizawa points out.

'Act.'

"Please," Light begs, his body beginning to shake.

Ducking his head, he covers his face so that the others can't see. He forces himself to jump when he feels a hand on his shoulder despite completely expecting it.

"We'll go, but you have to stay; your grief may cloud your judgement and make you do something reckless," Aizawa said solemnly.

'It worked! These idiots will really do whatever I tell them to!'

"Thank you," Light chokes, reaching up to put his hand over Aizawa's without turning around.

They linger for a moment before the elder man retreats, crossing over to Soichiro.

"What do you say, Chief?"

Mr. Yagami hesitates, switching between looking at Light's back and the rest of the Task Force's faces.

"Let's do this."

* * *

Light stayed at a hotel in the city while the others went out to the area that N pointed them to. They all wore heavy armour, and all but Soichiro had guns. In his hands, he held the Death Note and a pen. That, and the shinigami eyes. Light was still proud of himself for being able to figure out a way to give his dad the eyes without Mr. Yagami knowing about Ryuk.

 _Soichiro claimed ownership of the Death Note that they had, and Light made sure that Ryuk had ownership of it as well. Then, with the shinigami hidden out of sight of the Task Force, Light convinced his father that a shinigami didn't need to be present to make the trade. The owner of the notebook asked to make the deal, and the shinigami tied to it heard. Now, Soichiro could see names and lifespans._

'Everything is going perfectly. Such a shame that I can't kill you myself, Mello.'

With a headset in each helmet and cameras attached to the side of them, Light was able to hear and see everything that they could. The element of surprise was their reliance, and Light was counting on the Task Force's speed to get to Mello and kill him as fast as possible. If they happen to die after that, then they would have died a noble, non-suspicious death. Two birds with one stone; Light didn't stand to lose.

Light was leaning back in his chair, satisfaction on his face as his arms were crossed behind his head, when his monitor began displaying a video feed. Back in work mode, he leaned forward, his expression serious.

"Alright, can one of you get a clear shot of the door?"

"I can," Matsuda whispered, taking aim.

Easily, he's able to shoot the padlock, sending it to the ground.

"No time to waste! Move inside!" Light commanded.

They obeyed, rushing the place. Resistance was met and shot down, and Light could barely comprehend the chaos on the screen. Gunshots, dust and debris flying up, and shouting…

'...Perfect.'

Then, it went quiet.

"L, we've secured the area all except for one room. I'm certain that that is where Mello is."

"Good. Mr. Yagami, Task Force: advance," Light spoke, not having to hide his conniving smile.

Again, they follow orders. Or, at least, they try to when someone begins yelling.

"Stay back! I've got bombs!"

"L, what do we do?" Soichiro asks after a beat of silence.

"Yagami, you are the one without a gun. You're the most-likely candidate to be let in."

"Mello! I have no gun! I'm coming in!" the eldest man shouts, preparing to kick the door in.

"Drop the helmet! I know there's a camera in it!"

'He sounds so desperate. How pathetic.'

"What do I do?"

"We'll be in a standstill forever if we don't comply. Do what he says."

Unsettled, Soichiro removes his helmet, dropping it to the ground. Aizawa, Ide, Matsuda, and Mogi raise their guns to eye-level, ready to aim and fire at the hint of deceit.

"I am unarmed and I have removed my helmet. I am coming in."

Patience gone, Soichiro kicks the door open, seeing Mello's face and name.

"Mihael Keehl. Your real name is Mihael Keehl."

Soichiro still had a microphone attached to him, so Light heard the name, and he could practically see Mello's dumbfounded through his audible gasp.

'We did it!'

"We had already uncovered everything about you...Give up, Mello. If you surrender, I won't kill you."

'What?! Don't be stupid! Write his name down in the notebook and kill him!' Light's mind roared, his chair crashing back as he stood up abruptly.

"If I write your name down in this book, you'll die. Drop that switch and raise your hands," Soichiro commanded hoping that the shaking of his hands wasn't evident.

"You can't threaten me. If you try to write my name down, I'll press the button."

"Do it, then."

Light was shocked to hear the tone and words of his own father. Yes, he was aware that his father was guilt-ridden about what happened, but to be so bold about his lack of self-preservation…

"I'm prepared to lose my life. I'd happily give my own life if it means that you'd die as well."

There's a beat of silence, and the young Yagami was ready to scream from not being able to see what was happening, not being able to see Mello's face.

"Stop trying to be a hero, Yagami. You might be satisfied with that, but what about your men? You're going to sacrifice them too."

"They're my men; they're all prepared to face death...I don't know how large that explosion of yours is going to be, but if there are going to be survivors, my fully equipped men have the best chance. If I hold on to the notebook, it shouldn't get damaged beyond use. To tell you the truth, we just want you and the Death Note to disappear."

'What are you doing? Hurry up and write his name down! He's too dangerous; I don't know what he's thinking! Now's the time to kill him! Kill him right now!' Light wanted to shout, his locked jaw clenched down being the only thing keeping him from doing so.

"Like how I made that little girl disappear from existence? What was her name again?" Mello asked, purposefully making Soichiro's blood boil.

"...Nozomi...My granddaughter's name...was Nozomi," the elder man breathed, hatred in his eyes.

"Mm, such a shame that that guy that made the trade decided to cross me. I really did intend to let them all go alive."

Mello had a conniving smile on his face, eyes locked with Soichiro, relishing in taunting him.

"And you really should have just written my name down without hesitation. But now, you're not going to get the chance anymore."

Soichiro had noted a body on the ground when he came into the room, but he had assumed that he was dead; an assumption that will now cost him his life. The body moves, pointing a gun at Soichiro's back, pulling the trigger before the standing man could react. Bullet after bullet tears through the fabric of his armour as if it was confetti, embedding in flesh.

"We're going to break in!" Aizawa yells, pulling out his gun and shooting at the door.

Breaking into the room, Matsuda shoots the gunman, sending him to the ground officially.

"It's all over, Mello. Drop that switch," Aizawa says clearly with authority.

'What? Don't be a fool! Shoot him! Why is everyone so-'

There's a click, and then an ear-rupturing explosion on the Task-Force's end.

'He...he couldn't have…'

Light felt sweat trickling down his face and neck, but he couldn't move or breathe.

'D-did he really blow up the place? No, there's a chance that he is only trying to distract us. But, if everyone dies, then…'

"Deputy Director! Aizawa! Mogi! Ide! Matsuda! Can you hear me! Deputy Director! Anyone!"

"L...this is Mogi."

"I barely made it too, L."

'So they're alive...then Mello is…'

"Mogi, Ide, can you move? What about Mello? The deputy director? The notebook?"

There is incomprehensible mumbling on multiple lines before Ide responded.

"L, there is no sight of Mello. He must have set the bombs so that he would be safe as long as he was inside the room, but since the door was open, and we were standing right by it, we were blown away."

"Are the deputy director and Aizawa okay?"

"Unconscious but breathing. Hurry! Get an ambulance!"

"Because Kira killed all the mafia in the States, the police and rescue personnel are in total disorder. Mogi or Ide, if either of you can drive a car, get the deputy director and Aizawa to Marvin Hospital. It's the closest from where you are."

'Mello's very existence is a danger to me. I've got to kill him, any way that I can. Once my father regains consciousness, I'll force him to write Mello's name in the notebook if I have to…'

* * *

At the hospital, Light had already made a call home. Now, he was at Soichiro's bedside while the others talked behind him.

"Dad, Dad! Come on, Dad! Please don't die!"

"Light…"

'Good!'

"Dad!"

"Light...I-I'm so glad…"

"I'm glad too, Dad. Can you move?"

"I still have the eyes. And according to that shinigami...I can't see the lifespan of someone who owns a notebook. Light, you're not Kira...I'm so glad…"

"Don't talk so much."

"I...I'm sorry...I couldn't kill him after all…"

'Asking him to write Mello's name down right now is...No, I can get around it, at a time like this, it probably won't be strange if I seem to panic.'

"Light...I'm counting on you to…"

Light takes the Death Note out, opening it to a random page as he held out a pen.

"Dad, write his name! Use all the strength you've got left and write his name! Don't let him keep getting the better of you like this! Come on, Dad! Do you want to die in vain? Write it, Dad! Hurry up and remember his face before he takes you away from me like he did Nozomi!"

Putting the pen in his Dad's hand, he clutched it with both of his.

"Dad!"

The pen falls, rolling across the sheet before hitting the ground. The sound of it, however, is masked by the heart monitor going flat and omitting a continuous monotone sound. The doctor apologizes before turning it off.

"Dad! Dad! Don't you die, damn it!" Light screamed, tears cascading down his face.

"Light…" Matsuda snaps, yanking him back.

The room falls silent, heavy, and Light collapses onto his knees, burying his face in his arms.

* * *

Kay stood at the airport gates, her hands locked behind her back as she stared at the door of the terminal, waiting for it to open and return to her those who came back alive.


	46. XLVI

Light and Kay locked gazes, neither being able to read the other's expression. It isn't until everyone left in the Task Force have exited the terminal that her face goes from recognition, to horror, to misery. Kay's mouth opens and closes several times as her eyes dart between the men guiltily gazing back at her.

"No…" she breathes, cupping a hand over her mouth as a lump forms in her throat, "no…Oh my god."

Light steps forward with the intention of placing his hand on her back and leading her out of the airport, but she slaps him away, taking a step back as tears build up in her eyes.

The party stare at her in shock, and Light is the quickest to recover, glaring at her before turning away and tightening his grip on his luggage.

"We should go. Everyone clean up and meet at my house in an hour."

"Right," Aizawa mumbles, trying to make sense of Kay's reaction.

They depart in their separate ways, but three stay behind. Matsuda and Light both gaze at Kay, who in turn lets her eyes fall to the floor. Her chest rose and fell evenly, and she blinked rapidly as if unable to discern what she was seeing. Without warning or looking up, she begins walking through the airport, not fully-aware of her surroundings. Light and Matsuda followed her a few paces behind, one wanted to make sure she was okay and the other wanted to make sure she wasn't a threat.

No lift was hailed, no buses were boarded; they walked past Matsuda's apartment complex and then to her and Light's house. Feeling numb, she unlocks the door, stumbling into the dark foyer. Taking her shoes and coat off, she wanders into Nozomi's old bedroom without a word, closing the door behind her.

Light was becoming increasingly intense by not being able to read her. The silence was short-lived as crashing sounds and agonizing screams carried out into the living room where he was standing. Dropping his duffel bag, Light sprints towards the door, desperately opening it to find Kay red in the face as she cried out and threw things around, some things breaking while others bouncing off the floor. Unable to think of what to do to make her stop destroying Nozomi's nursery completely, he crosses the room in two strides and wraps his arms around her from behind, burying his face in her shoulder so that she couldn't swing her head back and hurt him.

"Let me go! Let me go!" she screamed in anger and terror, thrashing wildly in his hold as she swung her arms and legs around in the hopes of hitting him so that she could break away from his grasp, "Let me go, goddamnit!"

Her energy leaves her, and she goes limp in his arms, her head dropping as her body trembled. Hot tears burned her cheeks as they dropped down onto the carpet. Hair in her face, she struggled to breathe, unable to force enough air into her lungs.

"Why...do you insist on making the world burn?"

"What?" Light asked, trying to peer around to look at her.

"How many people do you have to kill before you're satisfied?" Kay mumbled before breaking free of his grip and whipping around to stare him down and yell, "How many loved ones will I have to say goodbye to before you realize that the end you were sacrificing them for is nothing but an idiotic, egotistical fantasy?"

Light's hands balled into fists, his anger boiling. Hatred consumed his eyes, sending chills down Kay's spine.

"I am doing this for you, for us, for the world! I am selfless, I am righteous!"

"You are nothing more than a narcissistic psychopath!"

"Now listen here," Light says menacingly, grabbing Kay's wrist and pulling her closer to him, "I am the god of this new world that I have given everything to create. Those who defy me leave it, permanently."

"Why don't you care? Our child is dead! Soichiro is dead! Ryuzaki and Watari and Raye and Naomi are dead! All because of you! Why don't you care?"

"Because I have work to do! We have work to do!" Light shouted in her face, his grip tightening as he also put his other hand on her arm so that she couldn't move.

"I should have never, ever trusted you!" Kay screamed back, struggling to break free.

"Why weren't you who you swore that you would be? You were supposed to be my soulmate, my goddess! And now you are openly betraying me and breaking my heart! We were supposed to change the world together! We were supposed to do everything together!"

"You're a maniac! I should have thrown that damn thing out as soon as I saw it!"

"I gave you all of me; my blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears! Why don't you care?"

"You have not shed a single tear; you feel nothing anymore but anger and satisfaction at your manipulations!"

"And all you feel is guilt! If you just saw things the way I do, all that guilt would fade away!"

"I will never see things the way you do; I will never be like you."

"Why are you against me?" Light shouted, his own hands shaking.

"You have to understand that the one I killed is me all those years ago; changing what I was for what you wanted me to be! I followed your direction, did everything you asked in the hope that you would snap out of it or be satisfied and stop! We would still be forever evil, but no one else would have to die! Of course, I was too naive to think that I could make you change."

"You and I were on the same side!"

"I was never! You were just too blinded by your morbid ambitions to see how every name I wrote chipped my soul, my sanity away!"

Light's jaw clenched, and his dark eyes stole away into hers so that she would absorb every word that he said.

"The time for talking is in the past. Either you are with me, or you force my hand to write down those who know us."

Kay gasped, her pupils shrinking.

"Y-you wouldn't."

"Don't try me. I am a god, and, if you are not my goddess, then you are a powerless nothing."

With that, Light let go, stalking out of the room and slamming the door behind him, making Kay jump slightly. Crumbling to the ground, she digs her fingers through her hair as she begins hyperventilating.

"What do I do? What do I do?"

'Damn it! He got me!'

Muscles locking up, Kay can't will herself to move, further restricting her breathing as her knees pressed against her chest uncomfortably. She wanted to run, she wanted to kill Light, and she wanted to kill herself to make the torture of existing go away. She knew, deep down, that none of those possibilities could come to fruition if she wanted to protect those she loved that were still alive. Consciousness was so overwhelming, conflicted by the very air she breathed, broken by her head left unkempt. The ceiling gets higher and higher, threatening to crush her all the more when it inevitably crashed down on her.

Her legs began shaking, and she finds herself falling back as her breathing quickens. Staring up at the ceiling, her eyes grew wide as she clawed at her throat. Once again, every person that she has killed flashes before her, haunting her as her sins scrape at her back, threatening to pull her down into an eternal damnation. She would have screamed if she could focus enough on remembering how to. Exhausted, alert, numb, terrified, lost; the whirlwind of feelings and emotions trapping Kay in her own mind.

Time crawled at a snail's pace, seconds going by agonizingly slow. The sun crept by outside the window, serving as the only thing to prove that time was actually passing. All noise was drowned out by her own heart pounding in her skull, and her mind felt fuzzy, to say the least, as if she were intoxicated.

"Kay? Are you alright?"

'Go away.'

Touta entered the room, lying down on the floor so that his head was next to Kay's but he was facing the window. Neither of them said anything for awhile, silent as they tried to find the right words to say.

"I'm over all of this bad luck. Is it ever going to change?" she finally croaks.

Matsuda hums in response, not sure what else to do.

"How many times must I be destroyed to level the karma placed on me?"

"What?"

"My parents died, my friend died, my daughter died, and now the closest person I had to a father growing up is dead. I'm not even sure what to think anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not being able to protect Ryuzaki or Nozomi or Soichiro; I was there. And now they're gone, but I'm still here."

They both tilt their heads to the side to look each other in the eyes, finding comfort in their gaze. Matsuda smiles softly at Kay, but she doesn't have the energy to mirror the expression.

"Promise me that you'll always come back at the end of the day."

"What?" Touta asked, taken aback by the implied intimacy of the request.

"Promise me that you won't die, too."

"If it's to take down Kira, or...to protect you, then I can't make that promise."

Air forced itself into her lungs, and she wanted to reach out and touch him just to make sure that he was still there.

* * *

When Matsuda, the last of the Task Force members, left, the door clicking sent shivers down Kay's spine. Her eyes darted to Light, whose composure was leveled, calm. It frightened her.

She could hear him breathing, which just helped her to remember that he was human, killable. Could she do it? Was she really allowing herself to accept that she just couldn't save Light? Was she really so weak that she couldn't save the man that had been everything to her? Her childhood friend, her first crush, her first love, her husband, the father of her children; could she definitively say that that boy was gone?

She was able to kill Misa because she knew without a doubt that there would always be a killer in the blonde. Not only had she accepted the Death Note so willingly and for selfish motivations, but she had implied that she would side with Light even if he was Kira. Though Amane haunted her dreams along with so many other faces, Kay couldn't bring herself to mourn Misa.

She could do it. She could steal the notebook and write Light's name as fast as she could. It'd be over so easily. All this pain, all this fear...it would be over. She let the monster rage on, and she could slay it. Then, before she could completely lose her sanity, she could write her own name. Neither of them could be saved by that point. But...there was someone else. She knew it.

She didn't know who, or where, or how, but she knew that Light had quickly replaced Misa. This person had a Death Note, and thus couldn't be kept alive. She couldn't make Light kill the proxy; it'd go against the rules of the notebook. She couldn't even just get him to show her a name and photo because the Death Note would know that the intention would lead to another's death. And there was no way in hell Light would willingly kill this new Kira by his own accord, not even if she were somehow able to convince him that she was ready to be his goddess or fulfill whatever demented picture he had in his head. No, this person was safe from her.

Is that why Light acted so quickly? Was he able to figure out that all bets were off the table and that Kay had been the one to kill Misa? Did he find a replacement so as to have a safeguard against being killed? Kay grit her teeth as she realized it was very possible, if not probable. As long as the new minion was still alive and in possession of the Death Note, then Light had free reign, immunity. The thought made Kay feel nauseous.

"You don't have to be so tense; I forgive you."

"What?" Kay croaked, her voice still trying to readjust to being used after her silence.

"After our fight, I forgive you."

'This self-centered, egotistical, little bitch…'

Light turned around in his chair, already matching Kay's hateful gaze.

"You defied me, as if I was trash. For that, you should honestly be dead."

Ryuk's eyes glowed redder, making Light sweat.

"But then, it hit me," he continued, standing up, "what's keeping you away from me is your blind faith in this current, disgusting society we call humanity."

Kay jumped up, matching every step that Light took forward with a step back of her own down the hallway. His crazed look was enough to stifle the air trying to get to her, choking her off.

"Your feelings have made you blind and messed up your head, but I can set you free," Light cooed, placing his hand over his heart as his lips contorted into a conniving smile.

Kay swallowed hard, silently debating over whether to turn and run as far away as she could. Though he had no pen or Death Note in his hand, or any sort of weapon for that matter, Kay found that he looked absolutely terrifying and dangerous.

"Without you, I wouldn't have had the strength to fight for the good that I see in you, that I know those like us are."

Kay backed up into the doorknob of her bedroom, making her jump at the slight pain. Light looked truly insane, delusional, and Kay didn't want to find out what he was capable of.

"I was meant to be yours. We were meant to be one. Don't give up on me now, my goddess. Finish what we have started."

"You're insane."

"I am all that you need. You and I can rule this world together; make things the way we want them to be!" Light said gleefully, only a foot away from Kay.

She let go a breath she hadn't registered that she was holding, and her lip trembled. Light's eyes grew sorrowful, and he ignored her shudder as he cupped her cheek in his hand.

"You scare me when you're like this, Kay," Light said softly, his voice low, "Your fear hurts me, you know?"

"Please don't touch me."

Sighing, Light closed his eyes, his hand dropping to his side.

"Can we not fight anymore? Kay, sure, you're scared. I've been there. I can set you free from this agonizingly life you've been living."

"It's agonizing because of you."

Light physically recoiled, as if he had been slapped hard across the face. He seethed, his nails digging into his palms in his clenched fists.

"It's because of you that I lost touch with my friends," Kay roared, jabbing a finger against Light's chest, forcing him to back up as she advanced on him, "it's because of you that I was locked up in that hell hole of a cell for weeks! It's because of you that the men I owed my life to died. It's because of you that Sayu is unresponsive. It's because of you that Sachiko is alone and Soichiro is dead. It's because of you that my daughter is fucking dead!"

Light's eyes grew wide, and, blinded by rage, he connected his fist with Kay's jaw. She fell back, crashing against the floor. They both gasped at what he had done, and both were still for a moment. Kay touched where he had punched her, wincing and pulling her hand away when it stung.

Without looking at him, she stands up and walks into their bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her. Light stares after her for a moment, stunned, before he charges the door, jiggling the knob.

"Kay, open the door, please," he begged, his voice cracking.

With no reply, he knocked nervously.

"Open the door."

No reply.

"I'm sorry," Light cooed, leaning against the door, "I'm grieving too, okay? And...you saying that just...pushed me over the edge, and I'm sorry."

No reply.

"Kay?"

The other side of the door remains silent. Light knocks again, an emotion that he couldn't even described sends his adrenaline levels into overdrive.

"Let me in!"

His knocking turns into pounding his fist against the door.

"Kay, stop this stupid game and let me in!"

Nothing.

"Don't make me come in there!" he yelled.

Nothing. Huffing, Light steps back before throwing his body against the door, breaking its hinges. He stumbles into the dark room, only to find it empty. One of the windows was open, letting the rain inside.


	47. XLVII

Kay ran as fast as she could, wanting to put as much distance as she could between herself and Light. At first, she intended to run to Matsuda's apartment, but decided against it at the last second. Instead, she veered course and navigated her way through the suburbs, finding herself in front of Aizawa's house. Running her hand through her hair as she caught her breath, she debated over whether to actually ring the doorbell.

Why was she at Aizawa's? They've hardly spoken...ever! Why was she getting him involved in this? Her muscles betrayed her, lurching forward and knocking on the door. There were voices on the other side, and Kay almost flinched when she heard footsteps approach. Looking behind her, she searches for Light through the darkness and the rain. Aizawa opened the door, his annoyed expression dropping immediately when Kay turns back to look at him, pain and fear in her eyes.

In that moment, Kay wasn't the adoptive daughter of the fallen Chief of Police. In that moment, she wasn't a mother. In that moment, she wasn't the wife of Light Yagami. In that moment, she wasn't a Kira suspect. In that moment, Aizawa found himself wrapping his arms around the young adult, shocked by how cold she was. In the doorway, she looked so young, so vulnerable, so afraid. It was a stark contrast to what he had seized her up as. In that moment, he wanted to kick himself for ever believing that this girl could hurt someone. Not only that, but he wanted to kick the ass of whoever scared that look into her eyes.

"Come inside," he said quickly, ushering her out of the rain.

A woman stood up from the couch, a confused expression on her face.

"Darling, can you please go get a towel for Kay? She's the girl I had mentioned," Aizawa spoke softly to his wife.

The woman nodded, rushing out of the room. With his hand still on her back, Aizawa pushes Kay lightly to a wooden chair, where she hesitantly sat down. The woman returned, and he thanked her as he took the two towels she held out. He then held one out to Kay, who tentatively took it, beginning to dry her hair off.

Aizawa got down on one knee in front of her, looking up slightly to meet her fleeting gaze, worry echoing in his own.

"Kay...what are you doing here?"

Her mouth opened and closed several times, the memory distorting and coming back into focus repeatedly. The room began spinning, the floor jumping up at her. She hadn't even noticed that she fell over until the woman was helping her back up into the chair.

"Thank you," Kay mumbled.

The woman nodded, standing behind the chair now incase Kay fell over again. Aizawa breathed deeply, trying to read her face to find out what had happened. However, he didn't get the chance as Kay paled, her pupils dilating.

"Kay?"

Both Aizawa and his wife gasp when the younger woman's eyes roll back in her head and she falls forward. Aizawa catches Kay, quickly lifting her up.

"Something's wrong," he breathes, looking to his wife for guidance.

She touches his shoulder, concern in her eyes.

"Something's definitely wrong. A doctor will be able to help."

"Right. Stay with the kids; I love you."

The two kissed briefly before Aizawa readjusted Kay in his arms, carrying her out to his car in the garage. Placing her carefully in the backseat, he jumps behind the wheel, speeding out and towards the hospital.

'What the hell happened, Kay?'

Upon arrival just a few, short minutes later, Aizawa ran into the emergency room, eyes wide. A nurse rushes up, looking flustered.

"Sir? What's wrong?"

"Please, help her. Her name is Yagami Kaylen, she's 22...she's pregnant."

Several nurses take Kay and place her on a gurney. At that moment, she regained consciousness, thrashing around wildly, panicked.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed, startling everyone.

Aizawa, instinctively, lurches forward, grabbing Kay by her wrist and pressing her down onto the bed by her forehead, restricting her movements without hurting her.

"Kay, Kay! Calm down! You passed out. They're just trying to help you."

"Light...Light…"

"Do you want me to call Light?"

"No!"

That swarmed Aizawa in red flags, but he brushed it off when he noticed something else that was red.

"You're bleeding…"

Kay went still before looking down. Her crotch was darker than the rest of her jeans that had been stained by the rain. She made a choking sound before scrambling as far away from the forming stain on the gurney as she could while still staying on it. She trembled, breathing heavily, before baring her teeth and letting out a scream that made everyone turn their heads to look. A nearby doctor took initiative, injecting a sedative into Kay as multiple nurses scrambled to keep her still.

The world became fuzzy, spinning, before everything went dark.

* * *

 _The world was dark, cold. Kay couldn't see anything, nor could she feel anything around her. Afraid, she runs in a random direction, only stopping when she runs into something, hard. Falling back, she gazes up in horror as a light blinds her before it is redirected to shine on Soichiro on the other side of an invisible barrier._

 _Kay sprung up, launching herself at him._

" _Soichiro!"_

" _Kay!"_

 _The two both pounded on the barrier, tears streaming down their faces as they yelled for each other. Behind him, a cloaked figure approached, a large, boney scythe in its hands._

" _No!" she screamed._

 _Soichiro turned around, fear consuming him as he falls, his back pressed against the barrier. Kay threw her body vigorously against it, watching helplessly, screaming, as the figure approached._

" _No! No! No!"_

 _The figure swings the scythe, blood splattering up at Kay. She scrambles away, not making it far before slamming into another barrier. Another light of invisible origin shines down, revealing Nozomi._

" _Mommy? Mommy!" she screamed._

" _Nozo!"_

 _Kay pounded her fists against the barrier, ignoring the pain._

" _Mommy!"_

" _Nozo!"_

 _The figure appeared again, and Kay lost it, screaming at the top of her lungs as she threw her body repeatedly against the barrier. However, all she could do was crumble into a heap as the figure swung again, turning the barrier red._

" _No! No! No-o-o…" Kay sobbed._

" _Monster! Monster!"_

 _Kay's head whipped up, reeling around to see Soichiro, Nozomi, her birth parents, Raye and his fiancee, and Ryuzaki and Watari, all bloody, all pointing a finger at her._

" _Your fault! Your fault!" they screeched._

 _Kay ducked down, covering her ears with her hands._

" _Stop it!" she yelled._

" _Monster! Monster!"_

" _No!"_

" _Your fault!"_

 _Then, suddenly, they all disappeared. Kay shuddered on the ground, still hunched over and clutching the sides of her head._

" _Monster."_

 _Kay looked up, seeing Matsuda glare down at her with hateful eyes. His leg swung back before slamming forward, connecting with her abdomen. Kay grunts, groaning loudly, though she doesn't put up a fight._

" _Monster," he repeated, landing another kick._

" _No!" Kay exclaimed, trying to shield herself from his blows._

 _His foot collided with her face, sending her spiraling back. Weak and coughing up blood, all she does is try to crawl away before he walks over, kicking her again. She flips over, facing him again._

" _Monster!"_

 _Kay holds her hands up, tears streaming down her face as she fearfully scooted back painfully._

" _Touta, please!"_

" _Monster!" he roared, ripping a gun out of his shirt and aiming it at her._

" _Touta-!"_

 _The gun fires, smoke drifting out of the muzzle, the chamber now empty of its sole bullet._

* * *

Kay woke up in a haze on an examination bed in a bright room. There was a ringing in her left ear, and her vision was bleary. Though, she was able to focus on three figures standing in the corner of the room by a door. She groaned, grabbing their attention as she grabbed her abdomen, cramping making her squeeze her eyes shut.

"Yagami-san? Can you hear me?" a doctor asks, sounding underwater to Kay.

She shined a small flashlight in Kay's eyes, making her wince and shrink back. Someone caught her before she fell off the bed, and she tilted her head up to see Matsuda gazing down at her with a hard expression.

"Touta? What's going on? Where are we? Why am I in a medical gown?" Kay asked in rapid succession.

"Kay...something happened. Do you remember what?" Aizawa asked, steppin forward and leaning against a bedside table that held a lamp that was far too bright.

The whole room was too bright to the point that it made Kay nauseous as she squinted around. She tried to recall what Aizawa was referring to, and the events of the day came crashing down on her, threatening to crash her. Tears burned her eyes, and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Soi-Soichiro…" she breathed, feeling dizzy once more.

"That's a beautiful name, Yagami-san. I'm sorry that you can't use it," the doctor said softly, oblivious to her error.

Kay's eyebrow arched, confusion consumed her before realization dawned on her face.

"My baby...my baby's dead?"

"Kay, I'm so sorry," Touta breathed, reaching down and wrapping his non-casted arm around her in an embrace as tears built up in his own eyes.

"My baby's dead?" Kay asked again, her face scrunched up in disbelief.

"I'm sorry for your loss. The fetus and uterine tissue have successfully been removed, so you no longer face the risk of blood-clots. I'll leave you three alone."

"Wait, doctor-" Aizawa said, following the older woman out of the room.

"My baby's dead," Kay said, staring at a corner of the ceiling.

Matsuda carefully shifted her before sitting down on the bed as well.

"Kay...what happened? Aizawa said that you just showed up on his doorstep soaking wet in the cold rain, and you screamed at him to not call Light before you were sedated."

"My baby's dead."

"Kay?"

"I couldn't...I couldn't-!"

She pulled her legs up to her chest, burying her face in her arms as tears ran freely down her cheeks.

"Kay-" Matsuda tried to say, looking disheveled.

"Damnit!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

She tried to get out of the bed, but Touta wrapped his arm around her. She thrashed in his hold, sounding rabid as a slew of curse words flicked off her tongue. Her face turned red as hot tears flew as she thrashed her head around. Her body curled in, making her as small as possible. Shaking from head-to-toe, her breathing was ragged as her chest heaved.

"Kay...please...tell me what happened," Matsuda croaked, a lump in his throat.

"It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault," Kay cried, her body wracked with sobs.

She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting the world to stop existing.

"It's not your fault," Touta said, his voice cracking, "miscarriages just-"

"Don't. Just...don't…"

"Okay."

Fleeting thoughts swirled through Kay's head as she limply leaned back into Touta's hold. Her eyes were glazed over, and her breathing came out hoarse but steady. So many things were screaming at her in her head, and she felt her sanity slipping away, weighed down by the secrets she kept to herself. She took a deep breath and then another.

"Light cheated on me...with Misa," she mumbled.

"I know...I was there with you in the lobby."

"No, I caught them together in our bedroom."

Matsuda stiffened, anger locking his limbs.

"Light admitted that he had been having an affair for our entire marriage," she murmured, more to herself than to Touta.

Numbness took over her, and indifference took over her.

"Light had tried to trick the mafia by keeping the real Death Note. He...he turned around when he heard the gunshot, putting Nozomi in the bullet's path."

Matsuda began trembling, his jaw clenched.

"We had a fight tonight, we were screaming our heads off at each other. He punched me, but he apologized. I locked myself in the bedroom before escaping through the window."

Touta's eyes darkened, his eyebrows furrowing as his hand balled into a tight fist.

"I found out this morning that Soichiro died. I had a miscarriage tonight."

Kay wanted to die. She honestly wanted to die. She was so tired. Who gave a shit? She didn't give a shit about justice. She didn't give a shit about Light. She wanted to be done. She was so tired.

The door opened, and Light rushed into the room, panic on his face before he looked at Kay and sighed in relief. Matsuda stiffly got up, stalking over to Light before using his full weight to punch Light, clipping him in the jaw and sending him back against the wall. Aizawa and a nurse rushed in, the former restraining Matsuda while the latter helped Light up.

"Matsuda! What the hell?" Aizawa growled.

"You bastard!" Touta roared, trying to lunge at Light.

He swung his head back, sending Aizawa reeling. Matsuda then tackled Light to the ground, clambering on top of him before crashing his free fist against the other man's face again and again. Two doctors came in, forcibly ripping Touta back. He gasped for air, glaring at Light menacingly.

Light, however, was rubbing his face, his nose bleeding.

"You care to tell me what the hell has gotten into you?" Aizawa snapped.

"Light had punched me when we were arguing. That's why I ran away from the house to yours," Kay mumbled, not having really reacted to the sudden violence.

"What?" Aizawa snarled, switching his gaze between Kay and Light.

"Even after everything you've done, Kay still protected you!" Matsuda yelled, no longer fighting the tight grip of the doctors holding his arms and keeping him on his knees.

"What are you talking about?" Light heaved, using a nearby cloth to cover his bloody nose.

"She didn't want to turn your family against you, so she kept everything to herself, you selfish bastard!"

"Should I call the police?" the nurse asked.

"We are the police!" Matsuda, Aizawa, and Light snapped at the same time.

"Page security," one of the doctors holding Matsuda down commanded with a huff.

The nurse left, and Kay got up out of bed. Aizawa was too stunned to stop her as she moved past, stopping in front of Light. Husband and wife stared at each other carefully for a moment before she held her hand out. Untrusting, he scrutinizes her gesture before hesitantly taking it. She lifts him up off the ground, surprising him with the strength that contradicted her frail appearance.

"I stayed with you for many reasons. Those reasons are all now dead. I'm moving in with Sayu and Sachiko, and I want a divorce," she said clearly before leaning in to whisper something for only Light to hear, "You think you're a god. Be prepared for judgement day."


	48. XLVIII

Kay shouldn't have done that. No, no, she really shouldn't have done that. Why did she just stick a big sign on her back that read "Kill me, Light"? She was stupid and naïve and felt invincible enough to challenge Light head-to-head. She has a reason to not kill him yet, but the necessity wasn't mutual.

Wait! Ryuk had said some time ago that he would kill Light if he wrote down Kay's name in the Death Note. Does Light remember as well? Will he dare to challenge Ryuk for bluff? Would Ryuk even still kill Light? What if Light killed her in a normal way without using the Death Note? Would any of this matter? If Light killed her in any way, shape, or fashion, then she won't be around to be affected by whatever the shinigami decides to or decides not to do.

Her challenge was a dangerous and tactless move, to say the least.

'On the chance that Light doesn't even remember, then I'm dead no matter what. If that's the case, I should do as much as I can to find this proxy Kira as fast as possible before I'm killed off. If Light does remember and finds the loophole by killing me without the Death Note, then the best chance of my survival would be removing myself physically from Light's clutches. But, if we're not on the same page, then my sudden movements might spur him to make actions that he wouldn't otherwise have thought of making. So, I either stay put and risk being murdered, or I flee to who-knows-where and risk tipping Light off to my thought process and get killed. Why the hell did I have to get cocky?'

Her things sat in boxes in the guest room, and she wasn't sure if she should actually unpack or not. Multiple times, she picked up her phone to call Matsuda or Aizawa, but she never got past scrolling through her contacts. Part of her wanted to be completely selfish and just whine about her life until it was magically fixed without her having to do anything, but part of her wanted to just shut them all out and pretend to not exist until she was either executed under the law or under Light's pen.

Back and forth, she paced in a light t-shirt and a pair of shorts, one hand behind her back and the other lifted up so that her index finger could be perched between her lips. Back and forth, she paced in a trance of gong between hypotheticals as if she were flipping through the channels of a television. It infuriated her that she couldn't predict what Light was thinking, and it infuriated her more that she couldn't do anything without raising suspicion in at least one person's eyes.

'If I want to survive, I may have to enlist the help of this mysterious N. Secure my innocence while also helping to find the proxy while staying exactly where I am. I should ask Aizawa about it, but I may be denied since I left the investigation years ago.'

Kay picked up her phone again, and she put it down again. The moonlight shining in through the window of her new bedroom illuminated the place, casting shadows that kept her on edge, though she didn't know what she had to be afraid of regarding the darkness.

 _The two girls finish brushing their teeth before they crawl under the covers of the master bed. Nozomi quickly curls up against Kay's side, and the two talk of plans for the next day until the young one falls asleep. Kay smiles as she tucks the hair in her face behind her ear before she carefully reaches over and turns off the lamp, erasing the light from the room. She soon falls asleep as well, snuggled up next to the joy in her life._

A pang in Kay's chest knocks the air out of her lungs, and she gasps in an attempt to breathe as she clutched the corner of the table. Almost anything brought Nozomi back into Kay's mind, and it was as if her daughter was dying in front of her eyes all over again.

Her legs wobbled as she shakily cupped a hand over her mouth so as to not audibly cry out in agony.

 _Now, the mortician leads them over to the small, black bag before unzipping it. Kay gasped before crumbling, shaking, as she cupped a hand over her mouth to muffle her cries._

 _So cold. So pale. So lifeless. Too young. Her daughter's eyes were closed, and they would never open again. Her daughter's arms were stiff at her side, and they would never be able to embrace Kay again. Her lips were blue, never to emit laughter again._

Kay choked and sobbed, unable to reign in her emotions anymore. Memories that she would pay to forget were resurfacing, determined to drive her to the brink of insanity. Her face was red as her cheeks became soaked with tears as she made incomprehensible noises, trying to drown out the feeling of insufferable weight trying to crush her. She let go of the table and her mouth, instead moving to claw at her throat, desperate to breathe.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" she whispered to herself, her hands forming into fists to slam against the sides of her head multiple times as she grit her bared teeth. Once again, she found herself grieving for everything she lost, from the car wreck that took her parents, to the Death Note that took her sanity, to Light that took himself and her two children. Everything was just out of reach, taunting her with the joy and peace of mind that she knew she signed away the moment she wrote the first name down in the godforsaken notebook.

Then, Kay's crying turned to muffled chuckles that then turned into giggling. She covered her face with her hands, her eyes peeking through her fingers to look at the floor. The room began spinning, and Kay fell onto her back, still laughing.

* * *

Understanding that Light may be having Ryuk track her movements and whereabouts, Kay takes two notecards and uses one to inscribe coordinates for the middle of a heavily-wooded forest and, with the other one, writes, as small as she can, "Aizawa, I am saying this at the risk of being killed as my name and face is known to Light, but I find myself making negative progress by returning to Ryuzaki's mindset that Light and Kira are the same person. The mere idea of such a possibility makes me want to retch and scream at myself for ever thinking such a thing, but I'd rather hate myself for voicing my idea and being wrong than hate myself for being quiet and being right.

"I'm sorry for making you come out to a secluded area just to find and read this note, but, if I'm right, I fear that Light may have sent a shinigami to watch and report back any and every movement that I may make. If so, then I could very easily be killed by doing this. Even though this is actually a high possibility as I don't think I have immunity when it comes to Light anymore, if I ever did, I am contacting you as I believe we can either clear Light of suspicion or convict him if I can talk to N, the real new L.

"Do not speak of any of this to anyone besides N and in person. If Light is Kira, then I have no doubt that he's bugged the Task Force's phones and computers so that he can track any and all activity. I wouldn't even trust postal methods as those can be intercepted. Do not rewrite this message. Do not take a picture of this message. Commit it to memory and then burn it to ashes. If N agrees to hear what I have to say, then he knows where to find me."


	49. XLIX

Kay was a wreck, constantly looking over her shoulder in fear of being watched. She honestly didn't know if she'd even be able to see Ryuk if the shinigami was nearby. She had no job to occupy her mind nor did she really have a family to make her feel at ease. Soichiro, Nozomi, and the baby were all dead, Sayu was still catatonic, Light was...less appealing company than whatever deity ruled over the universe. Sachiko was acting as Sayu's caretaker, so Kay usually left the older woman to whatever peace of mind she could find. So, Kay was alone with nothing but her thoughts.

No one from the Task Force or the SPK visited or made any contact with her, and a maddening feeling that everyone was dancing around her clicked away at the back of Kay's head. She had no way of knowing if Aizawa passed along the message or even if he went out to get it himself. Not knowing was such a pain in Kay's ass that she scowled, even when in the company of the only person she talked to anymore; Sachiko actually held up conversations most of the time while Kay just listened.

Finally, after a week of silence, Aizawa passes Kay on the street while she was going to the store, and he slips a piece of paper into her hand in passing, just as she had done for him. She did not dare read it while out and about, in the open for anyone to see and grow suspicious of.

When she returned home, she held it close to herself as she read it in her room, after locking the door and checking every nook and cranny for a camera or person. In the letter was a garbled message of jumbled letters. At first, she had no idea what to make of it, as the characters were also that of the English alphabet. It frustrated her to gaze at it, it looking like chicken scratch to her. Then, the idea came to her that they may be code for coordinates based on their spacing and format. Mentally creating a code with the 26 letters lined up with their corresponding number, Kay slowly began translating the message, shaking her head and starting over again and again as she lost her train of thought. Finally, she was able to get what Aizawa was telling her. There were coordinates, a date, and a time. Not daring to look up the coordinates on the computer, Kay wracks her brain for a solution as she wouldn't dare go to a library, a place so open and with so much traffic. However, the one idea she can think of makes her stomach twist and churn.

Kay waits until nightfall before begrudgingly going up to the attic, where she knew Soichiro's things sat in boxes, out of sight but close nearby. The beam of her flashlight moved over the open area as she ignored the chill running through her relentlessly. Quietly, she pulls at the flaps of one of the boxes, peering inside before sifting through with her free hand. She couldn't find what she was looking for, but she did flinch and jerk her hand back when it brushed against what she recognized as her own adoption papers. It felt bizarre to look at it now, after so many things have happened since it was signed.

Closing the box, she moves on to another, then another, then another. Sighing in defeat, Kay shifts one of her legs to return to a standing position when her flashlight catches a folded-up, large piece of paper that looked worn from use. Picking it up, she props her flashlight between her cheek and her shoulder as she unfolds the map, recognizing the Kanto region of Japan easily. She also noticed the small holes scattered around the map, where she was sure pins once pierced the parchment in marking locations. Dust drifted down through the air, settling around her as the room became still. Her eyes drifted back and forth over the map, analyzing it. Pinpointing where Aizawa was telling her to go, she memorizes a route to get there, committing it to memory before folding the map back exactly how it was before she touched it, putting it back inside the box exactly where she picked it up, and closed it before climbing down from the attic, closing the trapdoor as quietly as she could so as not to cause Sayu or Sachiko to stir. Returning to her room, she also memorizes the exact time she needed to be there before taking the paper into the bathroom and shredding it before washing it down the sink, watching the ink be smeared to incomprehension.

Knowing what time she was supposed to be there, she didn't bother going to sleep. Instead, she stood and stared out her bedroom window until 2 AM, at which point she silently left the house. Going on foot, Kay navigates her way through the streets. For two hours, she travelled through the route she memorized. Then, at 4:23 AM, Kay was on the Akigawa Bridge, watching the water flow by in the darkness, her eyes having already adjusted in her journey there. She stood in the open, her hands clasped behind her back, her stance relaxed. No one else was around, not until someone walked up. Kay heard the footsteps behind her but made no movements.

"Do not turn around yet. My name is Gevanni, and I am from the SPK."

"Prove it," Kay says, tilting her head while keeping her eyes trained forward, "As far as I know, you're one of Kira's accomplaces."

"If you really thought that, then you wouldn't be so calm, would you?"

"You'd be surprised. The things I've been through have taken the edge off a lot of things."

"I see. What kind of proof would you like? I can't completely show my face or reveal my full name, as you know."

"Of course," Kay muses, looking up at the stars that had not yet been consumed by the rising sun, "I'm correct in assuming that you are capable of calling Aizawa for confirmation on who you're saying you are, yes?"

Gevanni says nothing, and Kay gets her response, instead, via the recognizable tone of a phone dialing. After a moment, the other end crackles to life.

"Yes?" Aizawa says, in a low tone.

"That's all I needed," Kay says, loud enough so she knows Aizawa will hear.

Gevanni closes his phone, putting it away.

"Okay, I trust you. I imagine that the feeling isn't mutual."

"Yes...I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to put these on."

A hand reaches around Kay, holding an object out to her. She takes it, and the hand retracts, though she knows Gevanni is still standing close behind her. She holds the object up to the moonlight examining it.

"An over-glorified blindfold, eh? Is there a locking mechanism where I can only take it off by the push of a button I have no access to?"

"You think quickly. No, it just makes a loud clicking noise, so I'll know if you take it off."

Kay hums in response before putting them on. There's a startling clicking sound right by both of her ears, and she jumps slightly. Turning around, Kay faces Gevanni, though she can see nothing. He reaches out to grab her so that he can guide her, but she steps away from his touch.

"Lead the way," she says blankly.

"Of course. My car is at the end of the pathway that you went up."

Kay hears him begin moving, and she follows a few paces behind so as to not bump into him.

"You watched me arrive?"

"I had to make sure the area was secure before approaching you."

The conversation ends at that, Kay straining to focus on the sounds of Gevanni's movements, following them as best as she can. After what feels like far too long for them to have been travelling the path she had gone on, she hears a car door open. She holds her hands out, and feels her way inside, noticing that she's in the backseat. Gevanni closes the door behind her, and she buckles herself in as he makes his way around the car to get into the driver's seat, diagonal to Kay's.

The car starts near-silently, and it hardly lurches forward as it is put in drive.

'If I know N's way of thinking, which I can't say that I do nearly enough to be comfortable with this, my guess is that they're also going to try to skewer my sense of direction so that I won't be able to find their new headquarters after I leave...if they let me leave. They may keep me like I know they kept Mogi for a while.'

For almost two hours, they drove around, and Kay didn't bother trying to imagine where they could be. Maybe she was wrong in her assumption, and she was very far away from home now. Then, the car stops. Gevanni's door opens and closes, then her door opens as well. She carefully gets out, unsure whether her blindfold would be taken off at this point. It isn't, and she feels Gevanni's hand on her back.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to walk in front of me now," he says bluntly.

Kay doesn't respond, and she lets him push her forward into a building. Down a hallway, then another, before she takes a step forward and notices that Gevanni's hand is no longer on her. She stops just in time to hear a clanking noise directly in front of her. A gust of wind hits her face, and she knows a reinforced door was just opened. Gevanni's hand returns, and she is guided into another room. They stop again just a few feet ahead, and the room is silent for a moment. She has no idea who else is in the room besides her and Gevanni and possibly someone who opened the door, if it wasn't automated.

"Nice to meet you, Kay. I'm Near."

"Near?"

"Oh. I guess you wouldn't know me beyond N."

Near sounded young, though disinterested. Kay imagined a little boy, maybe a young adolescent, standing in front of her.

"If you want, we can take that blindfold off after a few questions."

Kay swallows, clenching her jaw. Cold sweats ran down her back, adding to the feeling of discomfort. When she doesn't respond, Near continues.

"Aizawa informed us that you suspect the new L, Light Yagami, to be Kira. Can you tell me why?"

"Since Light took over as L, the Task Force has made no progress in finding Kira despite him being L for five years now. Also, it is highly suspicious that the Task Force still has a Death Note. It doesn't make sense for Kira to not have retrieved it."

"Have you read the Death Note? Are there any rules that stand out to you?"

Kay pauses, furrowing her eyebrows as she thought about what rules she remembered, both before and after her memory was wiped.

"If, by 'stand out', you mean 'seem suspicious', then my guess is that you're trying to get at the '13-day' rule."

"I am. What are your thoughts on it?"

Again, Kay paused to think, not wanting to risk revealing herself.

"The rule could be fake, possibly put in by Kira himself to throw the Task Force and the SPK off. If so, then the argument that cleared me, Light, and Misa Amane of suspicion after our confinement is invalidated, which would make us suspects once again."

"I see now why the former L liked you so much; you think just like him, just like me. Gevanni, remove her blindfold, please," Near says.

Kay winces at the lights, her vision blurry before it focuses. She sees Gevanni to her right, a well-built man to her left, a woman sitting in a chair at a desk in front of her and to the left, and, directly in front of her, a figure sat in a chair with his back to her. He seemed small, though his hair was white.

"Tell me what else you know, whatever information you may think I might find valuable. Do not hold back what you think I may already know," the figure, who she finds to be Near, says.

"Since you already knew that Light Yagami is the new L, then I'm sure that you knew before I said anything that Misa was thought to be the Second Kira, at least, while she was alive."

"That's correct."

"Though I'm not certain how you came to that conclusion, I get the feeling that it had to do with our confinement, specifically our release from it after 50 days."

"That is also correct."

"And, by you not reacting to my use of the word 'our', then you know that I was suspected by the former L to be Kira, enough so to confine me."

"You're very attentive, Kay."

"I try to be. Are you aware that, for a couple of months after we were released but before Higuchi was captured as a Kira, Light and I were both cuffed to the former L 24/7?"

"I was not. I find that interesting. Why did it stop before Higuchi was caught?"

"I had my daughter, Nozomi. At that point, L allowed Light and me to live with our daughter in a monitored-unit inside the building that we were using as headquarters at that time."

"You have a child with Light Yagami, and yet you suspect him of being Kira enough to go to the possible enemy?"

"I had a child with Light, but she was kidnapped and eventually fatally shot by one of the mafia members that Mello controlled," Kay said, unable to hold the venom from her voice, and she felt as if she were frothing at the mouth.

"I see."

"That day has haunted me for months, but it has allowed me to pick at the memories."

"Oh?"

"The fact that Light was able to get Nozomi and Sayu despite having handed over a fake notebook is suspicious. I imagine that Mello isn't naive enough to allow the trade to happen without having tested the notebook."

"Are you suggesting that Light may have used the notebook to deceive Mello's henchman?"

"I don't know what the exchange looked like, but Light may have had the time to write whatever name he may have seen the mafia member tested the notebook on, allowing the facade to hold up."

"This is very valuable, but it is just an assumption."

"Of course, so it's a good thing that that information is not why I requested to speak with you."

"It's not?" Near asks, still not showing his face to Kay.

"No. If it was, that would seem like a rather waste of both of our times. I've answered several of your questions, so now it's my turn to ask a few of my own."

Near pauses before fidgeting with whatever was in front of him.

"Yes, go ahead."

"Under the assumption that Light is Kira, which I find to be near-certain now that the facts are laid out, then you are aware that he has someone else working as Kira since he is currently under your scrutinizing eye, right?"

"Yes. X-Kira."

"You know who it is, too, don't you?"

"I have a suspicion and a few leads."

"This can't work if you don't trust me, Near. If you have already entertained the idea of yet another Kira and if you're anything like the L you're supposed to be the prodigy of, then you already have it zeroed down to one person and are confident about your assumption."

"You sure are talkative," Near says, sounding annoyed.

"I understand your hesitance, but, based on you building up a large case against Kira, you and I want the same thing."

"And what is that?"

"To rub it in Kira's face when he's caught."

Near doesn't respond, and a beat of silence falls over the room before Kay breaks it.

"I know how to do it, but I need your cooperation."

* * *

Kay's knuckles collided with the door three times before her hand dropped to her side as she waited. When the door opened, she was face-to-face with Light Yagami, who disguised his surprise under indifference.

"Kay?"

"Can we talk?" Kay asks, peering over Light's shoulder to see the empty house, "It's important, and I think I've waited long enough."

Light hesitates, gazing into her eyes as he analyzes her and tries to figure out what she was planning. Relenting, he steps back, letting her inside the house that she used to live in as well. When he closes the door behind her, he wastes no time in confronting her.

"Why are you here?" he asks in an accusatory tone before being cut off by Kay throwing herself at him, pressing her lips against his as she wraps her arms around his neck. He leans back, though he doesn't push her away.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm so sorry for deceiving you for so long," she breathes, looking down.

Light lifts Kay's arms off of him before stepping back. However, he doesn't say anything, so Kay continues.

"It worked, but I'm so sorry I had to hurt you so much in the process."

"What worked? What are you talking about?"

"After very obviously separating myself from you, I was able to gain enough of Near's trust that, when I requested it, he allowed me to speak to him, in person."

"What?" Light spits, not believing her and angered by it.

'Yes, Near did say that he was in Japan. Could one reason why he came here was so that he could get to Kay?'

"I guess I should explain," Kay begins, sounding guilty, "When N first popped up, I knew that he had to be taken care of, but that there was nothing you could do that wouldn't seem suspicious. But, since I was already separated from the Task Force before the SPK even formed, I wouldn't be watched as much.

"I knew that, if Near was anything like L, then he would be very smart and be able to deduce fairly quickly that the new L and Kira were one and the same, and I was right. So, I had to separate myself from you so that it would be obvious that you and I weren't conspiring together, working as one unit."

Light still stayed quiet, listening carefully.

"However, he doesn't know that you have another Death Note at play. He assumes that the second Kira is killing people while you're acting as L."

"I don't understand how this changes anything."

"This new person you've chosen, he has the eyes, right? Well, if I can show Near that I trust this new Kira, then he may as well, and I may be able to get the two close enough that the new Kira will be able to see Near's face and his real name, and then he'll be able to kill him."

Light's expression was still cold, unfeeling, though his mind was reeling and different thought processes were shooting out, jumbling his mind.

'God, I want her to be telling the truth. That way, I would be so much closer to being able to freely act as Kira without having to worry about Near, and...and I would have Kay back. But, I can't trust her. Not yet. She very well could be double-crossing me rather than double-crossing the SPK. Steady...I must be ever so careful…' Light thought to himself.

"I know you can't trust me yet, and I get that," Kay said with a defeated tone as her hands slid to rest on Light's chest, "I wouldn't trust me, either."

Kay paused, forcing her eyes to water slightly as she looked up at Light, discreetly biting her lip in a way that she knows he will notice.

"But I can't wait until you kill Near, Mello, and everyone else that challenges Kira! I need you, Light!" she exclaims, making her voice crack and tremble, sounding as genuine as she could possibly be while internally retching.

"Kay…"

She rests her head on his chest as well, looking down at the floor again.

"I won't lie to you; I'm still so afraid, afraid that I'll lose everything like I lost Nozomi, and that fear makes me want to push you away again so that nothing can hurt me."

Tears dripped out of Kay's eyes onto the floor, forming tiny puddles of droplets.

"But," she continued, forcing herself to look at Light again, "I don't want to be afraid anymore."

Light still hasn't touched her, and there's evident distrust in his eyes, but there was something else in them, too; something that made Kay want to bolt.

"Don't lie to me."

His tone wasn't accusatory, but authoritarian, like he was commanding Kay.

"I won't."

"Tell me, then, that you agree with the ways of Kira; that you are a worshipper, might I say."

He was trying to trip her up, and she knew that every micromovement of hers was being scrutinized. She wipes her tears away, her face hardening.

"I can't," she says bluntly, "because I don't. I still don't believe that death is a proper punishment for evil, whether it's too much or too little in retrospect of the crime committed."

Light begins to scoff, but she cuts him off.

"But that doesn't mean that I don't want the world that Kira is driving towards; a world so free of crime and corruption that no one will need to face judgment. That's what I want and what I want to work towards, with you," she says, testing her luck by wrapping her arms around Light's neck once again, "if you'll let me, if you'll forgive me for betraying you."

Light stayed silent, thinking.

'I don't get why Kay would say that she didn't agree with Kira's methods unless she really was being completely honest. If Kay's pledging herself to me, then I need something to prove her loyalty, something that she wouldn't do unless she was with me and not Near and the SPK…'

"Have you been paying attention to news outlets, as of late?"

'Surely, he's now thinking of a way to test me. Until I can figure out what that is and plan my next move, I should just play along. I know with certainty that Light saw Misa as below him; I can't let him have that mindset with me. I can't have him underestimating me, so it'll be best for the time-being to convince him that I will not be a hindrance and that I'm of equal-mind to him.'

"Old habits die hard. I'll assume that what you're trying to get at is Takada being Kira's new spokesperson. As it's highly possible that your relations with her in college are on records, I can't imagine that you chose her yourself. And, since you're under the watchful eye of the Task Force, you can't get in contact with whoever has the Death Note that isn't locked away. My guess is that your proxy chose Takada without consulting you. Bold, but I don't see a way that it's negatively affected you thus far."

'How much have you figured out, Kay? Maybe it's good that I reign her in and keep an eye on her. With how much she's able to figure out, I don't want her to possibly relay this information to Near…'

'He's not dismissing me. That's very good. My move again, Light.'

"And, am I right in my assumption that you're the one having meetings with Takada? The ones that lead to a reporter who tried to investigate being killed?"

'...'

"Yes."

"Knowing you, you've already found a way to use her to get in contact with whoever you gave the Death Note to. That's the only reason you're bothering with her, at least, I hope. I won't deny that I've seen Kira supporters refer to her as Kira's goddess."

'Kay's not the jealous type, and I don't think she preferred me referring to her as a goddess, not like Takada has soaked it up. So why would she mention it?...'

"Does she know that you and I are married but separated?"

"She knows that we're married, but I didn't go into detail about anything. Though, I am in a relationship with her as it keeps her close to me."

"Only you could manipulate people so well," Kay jabbed, though she knew it would be perceived as a compliment.

'To what extent will Kay let me use her? I doubt I'll be able to manipulate her like everyone else; she's too in-tune with me.

'By her phrasing, I don't think she's put it together that I've employed Mikami to execute criminals for me, which means that Near probably hasn't, either. Would it seem suspicious on Kay's end for her to press on what all Near knows? With Aizawa and Mogi investigating me again and conspiring with the SPK, I really don't know with certainty what information Near has. Maybe I can use Kay to fill in some of those gaps, which will bring me one step closer to taking Near down.'

Light's thoughts were still running rampant, and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"It'll be too suspicious if you moved back in right away."

"I know."

"Did Near suggest that you openly try to get back together with me?"

"No, but I wouldn't have listened to him if he had."

Light suppressed a smirk, then something occurred to him.

"Wait, did you see his face?"

'If Near trusts Kay enough to let her see him, then she could make a trade for the shinigami eyes and kill him herself.'

"No. He had his back to me the entire time. In fact, with the way he was curled up in his chair, I wasn't able to see anything of him, hindering me from even being able to identify him if our paths were to cross again. My guess is that this safety net won't be removed until either he or Kira is dead."

Light turned his back on Kay, walking away to his desk and turning on the monitors tuned to several news stations, including NHN and Sakura TV. Kay hesitated before following him, noticing how much more the Task Force's equipment has taken over the house.

"Where are the others?"

"Aizawa and Mogi are booking a hotel room for my meeting with Takada tonight while Ide and Matsuda are making a supply run. Do you think that Aizawa is aware of your meeting with Near?"

"Near mentioned that he had someone also speaking to him from within the Task Force, so I'm guessing it's Aizawa that's investigating you again?"

'Damnit. I really need to pinpoint exactly what all Kay knows.'

Light doesn't respond or turn to look at her, and Kay smiles to herself.

"To answer your question, I don't think so," she lied.

Then, Kay tries something bold.

"I'm not going to ask to join the Task Force again, so instead I'm going to apply to another law firm. I wouldn't want your proxy seeing that I'm unemployed and deciding that I'm just as sinful as a criminal."

'Don't trip up, Light, or I may just be given the leverage to rub it in your face that the person you chose isn't as much of the puppet that you thought he was.'

Kay stepped forward, embracing Light from behind while he was still sitting in his chair, burying her face in his neck.

"I stepped away, and yet you're still so close to creating a perfect world. I don't know how to help, so I need you to tell me what to do," she murmured, closing her eyes, "All I ask is that I don't have to kill anyone."

* * *

'I need to figure out who this proxy Kira is. I haven't been in contact with Near since we first met, so I don't know if he's figured it out already. Would he even tell me if he did?'

Kay sat on her bed in the dark with her laptop in front of her as she wore headphones and clicked through different tabs of recorded news segments that Takada had been in, trying to work backwards to find who had chosen her. She was also working from who Light might have chosen. She knew he wouldn't dare pick someone he actually knew, so it had to be someone he'd seen on television. Another clue she was using was location. Not only are the killings still, for the most part, based in Japan, but so is Takada, which means that so is the proxy Kira.

'There are so many puzzle pieces that I have access to, but I just can't figure out how they fit together.'

Kay hunched even further forward, not caring that the position put strain on her back. Currently, she was watching an episode of Kira's Kingdom that Takada had been in. When her eyes flick over a man with glasses and long, spikey, black hair, she gasps, pausing the video. Clicking through the dozens of other tabs, she finds videos that this man had also been in.

"You...Who are you?" Kay mumbled to herself.

Through more searches through Sakura TV's archives, she found his name to be Teru Mikami and that he had spoken in favor of Kira many times before. But, what Kay found most interesting was the segment where Teru spoke about wanting to hear Kira's voice.

'This is from three days before Takada was chosen to be Kira's new spokesperson!'

Now, she looked into more about Mikami. He was an attorney, and, though it seemed rather irrelevant, he was an orphan via a car wreck.

'Sounds familiar,' Kay thought to herself, chuckling quietly at her own joke.

Closing her eyes, she ran through her thoughts, as if she were mentally using pins and strings to provide links to suspects.

'As Mikami is the only possibility I have so far, I'll work based on the belief that he is 100% Light's proxy. As Teru is a government agent, an attorney, his contact information would be public and easily attainable without having to do extensive searching, which would have looked highly suspicious if caught. Not only that, but he frequented Kira's Kingdom, something that I know Light watches due to Matsuda's liking of the program. His career as someone who seeks justice, as well as proving to be supportive of Kira's cause, would pique Light's interest. Of course, how rashly Light was thinking at the time could play a role in his decision-making skills. This proxy almost-certainly has the eyes, so Light was probably moving so as to replace Misa.

'Misa died on the 27th of October. On the 5th of December, Takada was chosen as Kira's spokesperson. That leaves a 40-day window for Light to have chosen the proxy, though I don't think Light would have chosen someone so egocentric as to choose a spokesperson as soon as they gained the Death Note, so I think it's less than that. I also don't think that Light chose someone immediately after the death of Misa as he was under watchful eyes due to-'

Kay's thoughts snag as her eyes shoot open, and her face twitches as tears blur her vision before she blinks them away, not allowing herself to spiral again.

'However large the window was, Mikami was definitely on Kira's Kingdom within it, so it doesn't really matter what the actual time frame was,' she thought as she cross-examined the dates of the broadcasts that Mikami appeared in the program.

'It's also traceable that Mikami knew of Takada personally, since she wasn't nearly as popular of an anchor as she is now, though evidence of their interactions are limited to putting pieces together myself based on breaks in timelines and recordings of them being in the same area at the same time.'

Kay's eyes focus on the still-image of Mikami, and she looks at his eyes, which glare over his spectacles.

'Having Shinigami eyes aren't visible to humans, so that's not what I'm seeing...He has the same grimace that Light does, the self-righteous, deluded perspective of being a hero but having to hide it.'

Her fingers slowly curling into fists, Kay glared back at the screen, anger making her breathe heavier as she clenched her jaw to the point of having a headache. She cleared the tabs and her history before stashing both her laptop away, thinking about how to get in contact with Near again to tell him her findings as she went to sleep, sure now that Mikami was just like Light, and so Light would have chosen him to be his proxy, without a doubt in her mind.

Rest was short-lived and haunted by nightmares, and the morning came sickeningly soon for Kay. Sneaking out of the house before Sachiko could stop her, Kay made her way to the Task Force's headquarters, to Light. She knew he would be awake just as she knew he would let her inside again. What she wanted to find out was whether Aizawa was there or not. If he wasn't, then she would call him to request another meeting with Near.

'I could happen to be in the room when Light called Near or vice versa, and then I could say something and discreetly deliver the message. But how, and would he even get it? There's just no way to slip Mikami's name and not raise red flags for Light, so a blunt message is out of the question. I need to think like both Near and Light at the same time and figure out what one would get without the other noticing or, at least, not being able to figure it out. It'll be difficult since they are almost identical in mindframes…'

Kay had to rip herself away from her thoughts and back to reality as she walked up the steps and knocked on the door. It took a few moments, but the door was opened for her, and Aizawa himself was on the other side, looking surprised. She quickly held a finger to her lips, signaling for him to not say anything.

"Tell the others that a solicitor trying to offer lawn services was at the door, and ask Near for me if he knows that Kira officially has a trademark, okay?" she whispers.

Confused, Aizawa sighs, closing his eyes before nodding. Kay does the same before turning and leaving, going further into town rather than back home.

'Will Near be able to decipher what I said? I had to think on the spot as I wasn't expecting to come face-to-face with Aizawa like that, so I can only hope that he does. Trademark, shortened to TM in writing. In Japan, that means nothing. But, for English-speakers, like Near, it could also look like initials. When Teru's name is written with characters from the English alphabet is also TM. Kira got TM. My message can only possibly work if Near also suspects Mikami, but I'm sure he does if he's anything like the L he's supposed to be the prodigy of. While I wait for a response, if I even get one, I'm going to track Mikami for myself. As we share professions, it won't seem blatantly obvious that I'm trailing him for an investigation, though it'd be ignorant of me to trust him to not kill me.'

Kay's eyes were glazed over as she waited for the light to change so that she could cross the road with a group of people commuting by foot to work. She already knew the address of Mikami's firm, and she had memorized it before leaving, as well as putting on a black blazer over a white shirt that was tucked into her black skirt. In her hands, she held a brown briefcase that had been gifted to her upon graduation from university, filled with her birth certificate, a picture ID, references, law degree diploma, and résumé.

'As I am applying with a commendable résumé, it shouldn't take long for me to be able to be accepted into Mikami's firm. Then, I'll be able to keep an easy watch on him. I can even do so today as my interview isn't scheduled for another few hours, which will allow me to explore the building without too much suspicion. Since I know what Mikami looks like, I'll be able to recognize him if we happen to cross paths. Whether I approach him or not will depend on when and if the moment arises. I could take on a bubbly-but-nervous approach and move under the impression that I just want to build connections at where I am hoping to work. It may be difficult if he brushes me off, but it won't really matter at that point. As long as I don't behave as if I already know who he is, he'll just remember me as someone who exists around him and that's it.'

Entering the building of the law firm, Kay briskly walks up to reception, announcing that she arrived early for her interview so that she may get a look around the space.

* * *

Just as she predicted, she got a call on the 26th of January, just four days after her interview, that she had been accepted and could start that very day if her schedule allowed. She accepted, and was unpacking what few things she had kept from her previous job onto her desk neatly, though she didn't really care about what her work-space looked like. She had also been lucky on the day of her interview, as she had, indeed, bumped into Mikami on his way up to the roof of the building to eat his lunch just as she was leaving a conference room after completing her interview. Their conversation had been brief, with her apologizing for bumping into him and explaining that she wasn't used to the layout of the building, but that she hoped to grow to know it if she was accepted to work there.

Now, she only had to wait until lunch time rolled by once again so that she could approach him again, saying that she remembers him and saying that she had gotten the job. She knows he won't care, but she'll deliver like she doesn't.

'I shouldn't come off as too overeager; that'll just annoy him and associate me with that feeling. I highly doubt that I'll be able to crack him down to the point of him associating me with a positive feeling, so I have to aim for maintaining an indifference. Would it actually be better for me if I confess to him who I really am? If I'm able to prove that I am with Kira, he may show loyalty to me, as well. Of course, that could backfire in so many ways that it almost seems like a ridiculous tactic. But, if it goes smoothly, I'll have him under my thumb.'

However, with the passing of time, Kay would come to realize that no approach would come to fruition, as she spotted Mikami quickly making his way towards the front door. Suspicious, she follows, determined to not lose track of him. She follows Teru through the streets, not being able to help but notice large screens reporting the kidnapping of Takada.

'What the hell?' she thought, though she shook her head, removing herself from the distraction and instead continuing to trail Mikami.

She followed him all the way to another building on a busy street, one that appeared to be a bank. She stopped short and waited to closely follow someone else inside. When she got inside, she saw Teru quickly moving ahead, towards the safe boxes housed inside the large vault. As she wasn't a part of this bank, she knew that she wouldn't be able to follow him further. Resigned, she decides to leave, instead to go investigate what was happening with Takada.

While on the streets, she notices a group of people in black, all moving quickly towards the direction that would lead them out of the city. Amongst the group, she notices a woman that she had taken note of when watching a news broadcast.

'That's the FBI agent that's one of Takada's guards. She was also with the SPK when I went to meet Near.'

Quickly, she sticks out her hand, snagging Hal by her arm and yanking her away from the group. Immediately, the one pins her arm behind her back and bends Kay over uncomfortably, making her yelp.

"Nice to see you too," Kay spits out, still wincing in pain.

"You," Hal addresses, letting go of Kay.

"We need to talk. Right. Now."

Hal stares at Kay with cold eyes, sizing her up.

"As you just displayed, you could easily kick my ass, so I have nothing to hold over you if you choose to not cooperate," Kay says calmly, "What I have to say is important, something that I think Near will take interest in. Take me to him, and it'd be best to not waste time by dissolving my sense of direction beforehand. I know that Near is exposing himself in two days anyway, so it should not be much of an issue, now would it?"

"Why should I listen to you?"

"If I'm right, you no longer have Takada to worry about."

Still glaring, Hal roughly grabs Kay by the shoulder, guiding her away and down several streets. Eventually, they come upon what appeared to be another bank. They went inside, and Kay was able to recognize the turns they made, just as she recognized the vault door that opened for her. Inside, a familiar room awaited.

"Near, tell me what's happening with Takada," Kay says immediately, barging into the room, running off of adrenaline alone.

"Well, hello to you, too, Kay."

"This isn't the time for exchanging pleasantries...Talk."

"If you must so rudely insist, it appears that Miss Takada has been kidnapped by Mello."

"Mello," she repeats, her anxiousness crashing into anger at the mention of the man responsible for the death of Nozomi.

"Indeed. Why? I don't know. It's a very sudden move from him."

"It's not his actions that I have a report on. But, Mikami's, I do."

"You've been following him? That's bold."

"Yes, and, just now, I followed him to the bank where-"

"Gevanni, didn't Mikami go to the bank yesterday, on the 25th."

"Yes, that's right."

Kay turned her head to look at Gevanni, who was looking back at her with cold eyes.

"Even if he went to the bank just yesterday, I think that he went to retrieve something different today."

Near stayed silent, and Kay was unaware that it was because he was rapidly thinking.

"I think that, rather than keeping his Death Note on him or at home, he keeps it in his safe box. He rushed out of work quickly, and I think it was so that he could kill Takada in the wake of her kidnapping."

"And, if I were to tell you that Gevanni, who had been following Mikami up until I called him back after Takada was kidnapped, had observed Mikami using the Death Note outside of the bank, having had it on his person?" Near inquired, testing Kay to see if she was on the same train of thought as he was.

"Observed him using it in person? How? Where was this?"

"On the metro. There was a woman being harassed. Mikami had taken a picture of the man harassing her, did something on his phone, then took out the Death Note and wrote something in it. The man dropped dead from a heart attack 40 seconds later," Gevanni explained.

Kay stared at him in bewilderment, questions whirling by her.

'To be so blatant about it, and in a public place no less, makes it highly suspicious.'

"How did Mikami appear? Did he seem nervous, or was he calm?"

"He was calm."

'Could it be that Light was so cocky as to instruct Mikami to be coy like that? There's no way that Teru would have done that without being instructed to do so. No, what if it was Light throwing Mikami into the hands of the SPK, to make them think that they had everything figured out? But, why would he do that? Unless…'

"Near, what's the likelihood that Mikami had been carrying around a fake Death Note, and had the real one hidden away in the bank's safe?" Kay asks.

"Considering that you came to that conclusion as well, it's now very likely. Gevanni, please go examine Mikami's safe box to see if there is the Death Note in there. With what information Kay has provided us, I do believe that there is cause to Mikami breaking his structure."

Kay watches as Gevanni quickly leaves before whipping her head back to look at the back of the chair that Near was sitting in.

"Structure?"

"Teru Mikami lives on a schedule. He does everything to precision, just as he had done before. Every month, on the 25th, he visits the bank. To have done so on the 26th, and when he had also gone the previous day, is very much out of character for him."

With ties coming together, Kay begins calming down, her breathing growing even.

"If I'm right, then Takada is dead," she says blankly.

"Yes, I'm sure of that, as well."

"Are you still going to meet the Task Force at that warehouse you chose?"

"Yes, there is no reason not to. Unless, Kira cancels the meeting with the loss of Takada."

"He won't. Without Takada, he won't be able to contact Mikami to cancel the meeting. Besides, he will still think that you are operating under the belief that the notebook Mikami has been carrying around is the real Death Note," Kay explains.

"Yes, that is most-likely true."

"Then I guess I answered my own question."

"Yes, and every other answer will be answered in two days," Near says, still not letting Kay see his face.

"I'll see you then," Kay replies, moving to leave as she had no other reason to be there.

"I look forward to it."


End file.
